


The Aftermath of You

by BoredNBasic



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2YEON - Freeform, Angst, DubChaeTzu, F/F, Jitzu, LeaderxMaknae - Freeform, Mentioned ITZY Ensemble, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Mitzu, michaeng, school meal club
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 141,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoredNBasic/pseuds/BoredNBasic
Summary: She's not the girl she used to be. The girl who left Korea was not the same girl who came back a year later. Pain changes people. Sometimes for the better but sometimes for the worst. What if the reason for her pain came back again? Like they say, fate has a way of putting people in each other's paths.
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Hirai Momo, Chou Tzuyu/Im Nayeon, Chou Tzuyu/Kim Dahyun, Chou Tzuyu/Kim Dahyun/Son Chaeyoung, Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Chou Tzuyu/Myoui Mina, Chou Tzuyu/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Chou Tzuyu/Son Chaeyoung, Chou Tzuyu/Yoo Jeongyeon, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Kang Daniel/Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Myoui Mina/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 54
Kudos: 261





	1. CHAPTER I

"That's your 3rd glass this morning. You're hitting a new record."

"So?"

Son Chaeyoung sighed as she watched her bestfriend, Chou Tzuyu, down another glass of whiskey like it was water. She's known the younger girl for 7 years. Ever since Tzuyu was 16 and was like a lost lamb in South Korea since she was a transfer student. They've been inseparable with Chaeyoung immediately partnering up with the tall girl and even garnering friends along the way. She's seen her in her lowest and in her happiest days. Currently, it was 11 in the morning when their meeting with possible investors for the company ended and they just entered the young CEO's office. Tzuyu immediately fixed herself a drink while Chaeyoung slumped on the chair in front of her friend's desk. Today was a rather sensitive day for the girl. It was supposed to be a special day. Keyword: supposed. Not anymore. Tzuyu's being extra bitchy today more than the other days and for a reason that Chaeyoung could understand completely. She gulped the last drop of whiskey and filled it to the brim again as she sat in her desk to review the contracts and reports filed up. But of course, like what she's been doing for the past year and a half, Tzuyu drank her thoughts away and just buried herself into her work and it concerned her friends greatly.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself Chewy."

Tzuyu heaved a sigh as she twirled the glass of whiskey in her hand. Of course her bestfriend would have an opinion on her newly acquired lifestyle. Deep down she knew it wasn't healthy but it was the only thing that helped her cope. For a moment she could forget. She has avoided this topic for a year and a half, buried deep down in her now stone cold heart. Tzuyu never talked about it again after she broke down sobbing in front of Chaeyoung and Mina that horrid night. Shaking her head to snap herself out of her thoughts, Tzuyu took a sip from her glass as she stared at an unimpressed Chaeyoung. "I'm not doing anything to myself, Chaeng"

The tiny girl just sighed in defeat as she flipped through the papers in front of her. Tzuyu's been back in South Korea after living in Taiwan for the past year. After that unspeakable night that happened a year and 6 months ago, the tall girl immediately flew to her home country the next morning and never looked back. If it weren't for Mina threatening to fly to Taiwan and raise hell there then Tzuyu would've tried to not communicate with them at all but of course who wouldn't shake in their pants when the usually composed Mina blew up in rage. Deep down, Tzuyu was glad that Mina, Chaeyoung and Dahyun all blew up her phone everyday to ask for updates or ask how she was on a daily basis. They never let Tzuyu out of their radar even though she lived in a different country at that time. She was eternally grateful for the genuine friends that stuck with her through her darkest moments.

"Well we better get going before Mina Unnie barges in and drags you by the ear again. We wouldn't want people to see the ever so powerful CEO getting dragged by her own Marketing Executive."

Tzuyu shivered in her seat at the flashbacks of her first week back in South Korea with Mina basically dragging her every lunch hour towards the nearest restaurant she could find. The younger girl refusing to eat was not something Mina would tolerate even if she had to drag the CEO by the ear and shove some vegetables down her throat. She has been away from her baby Tzuyu for a year and now that she was back in Korea, Mina was never letting the younger girl out of her motherly sight. Especially when Tzuyu came back as a totally different person from the Tzuyu who left. So now Tzuyu was hot on Chaeyoung's heels as the two fast walked towards Mina's office albeit graciously as to not be on the receiving end of Mina's wrath about how important eating on time is.

The two stopped in their tracks when they saw Mina standing outside her office with her arms folded in front of her seemingly waiting and expecting the two. When the older girl caught sight of a sheepish Chaeyoung and a nonchalant Tzuyu, she unfolded her arms and beckoned Tzuyu to step in front of her which the CEO obliged obediently. She may be a powerful CEO of a large family owned company but Mina will drag her to hell if she didn't comply with whatever the penguin wanted. Tzuyu was used to this by now, it was almost a routine at this point. So when Mina tiptoed and touched the tip of her nose to Tzuyu's and stood there for a good minute, Tzuyu wasn't shocked anymore and neither was Chaeyoung.

If anyone walked by and saw them, they'd think that the two were almost going to kiss but got caught in an intense stare off but in reality Mina was just breathe checking her baby Yoda if she smelled like alcohol so early in the day. Especially today knowing what sentimental value this day held for Tzuyu. Well, once held but not anymore. Everyday Mina hoped that it would be negative but everyday her heart sunk when she caught Tzuyu smelling faintly like whiskey. Frowning, Mina sunk back on the heels of her feet as she frowned in concern. Tzuyu has been back in South Korea for 6 months and Mina has been working in the girl's newly built South Korean Company branch for 5 months but in those 5 months that Mina has been around Tzuyu almost every day she's still been drinking almost on the daily and that didn't sit well with her. Tzuyu didn't even want to sip a little soju just a year and 6 months ago and now she was downing a glass of whiskey like it was nothing. Usually Tzuyu would have a glass of whiskey in the morning but today she had a bad feeling that the girl exceeded her usual daily intake.

Mina cupped Tzuyu's cheeks as the CEO stared at her concerned Unnie with soft eyes. Despite Tzuyu's new image as a cold brooding bitch she still couldn't help it with Mina. She had a super soft spot for that cute penguin and sometimes she just wished it was Mina who she fell for and not her. But as they say, the heart wants what it wants and Tzuyu just had a sudden urge to drink another glass of whiskey at the moment. Mina turned her head to Chaeyoung who was standing beside Tzuyu just watching with a mix of concern and amusement. "How many drinks for this morning?" Mina asked the girl with her hands still softly cupping Tzuyu's face while caressing the CEO's skin with her thumbs. "Three"

Mina dropped her hands from Tzuyu's face and gripped the girl's arms instead as she turned her gaze towards the tall girl. "Tzuyu-yah you hurt me when you do this to yourself." Tzuyu couldn't take the guilt and sorrow that she felt at the moment and she couldn't maintain eye contact with Mina who was staring at her like she just broke one of her penguin stuffed toys. She couldn't help it. Today was extra hard more than the other days. So Tzuyu opted to drop her head and stare at the floor which was a rare sight to see in her company building since Tzuyu was always just giving people death glares 24/7 but of course only Mina could elicit this response from Tzuyu. It was moments like this that gave both Mina and Chaeyoung some hope that maybe deep down inside that hard shell that Tzuyu created for herself maybe just maybe their baby Chewy was still there buried by all the hate, rage and sorrow.

"How does spicy jokbal sound? Hmm Chewy-yah?" Mina asked Tzuyu as she saw the tall girl slip into her thoughts yet again. Chaeyoung gripped the CEO's arm and was jumping in excitement as she heard the word jokbal. Tzuyu just cracked a smile at her crazy friend, leave it to Chaeyoung to act like a child and be one of the company's top respected executives at the same time. Mina linked her arm with Tzuyu's free arm as she began leading them out of the large building and towards the restaurant just across the street from them. Mina sat beside Tzuyu as Chaeyoung took a seat in front of them across the table. Tzuyu was the only person that Chaeyoung didn't get jealous of since the girl was literally her soul-sister and Mina's child which was weird to think about since she was dating Mina but well they had a weird family tree anyway.

Mina then called for a waiter to order for the three of them as Tzuyu once again got lost in her thoughts but fortunately it was thoughts about business as she shared small talk with Chaeyoung about their earlier meeting. When the food was served, Mina began filling up Tzuyu's plate for the younger girl before eating. "What are you up to tonight? Want to sleep over at ours? Dahyun plans to hang out too." Chaeyoung asked as it was slightly muffled with noodles in her mouth. Mina stopped eating as she gazed hopefully at Tzuyu beside her. Both girls had a hard time getting Tzuyu alone to just hang out or spend time with them ever since she came back. Tzuyu only ever interacted with Mina, Chaeyoung and Dahyun ever since she came back home having cut off the other girls from her life ever since that horrid night. It was still hard for the three girls to drag Tzuyu to hang out and sometimes Mina had to use her special pouts to persuade Tzuyu.

"Sorry Chae but I have something else planned for tonight." Chaeyoung didn't have the patience to hide her disappointment as her best friend rejected her yet again. Mina was the same as she sighed beside Tzuyu and placed her hand on Tzuyu's forearm. "Another new girl again?" Tzuyu's high tolerance in alcohol wasn't the only thing that Mina wasn't too fond about. It was also Tzuyu's new habit of sleeping with random girls and never seeing them again or even bothering to ask their names. She wasn't blind, she knew her Yoda was one of the most attractive women she's ever seen and she knew that the tall girl wouldn't have any problems getting any girl she wanted but that didn't mean that she was in favour of Tzuyu using warm bodies to fill her lonely nights just to find another warm body when the need arises again. Sex won't help her heal and sex won't help her move forward. Yes it was a distraction but for how many hours will it distract her for till she needs a new person to distract her again?

Tzuyu just nodded with a smirk on her face. Moments like these sent shivers up Chaeyoung and Mina's spines as they witnessed another side of Tzuyu, a darker one. One that they didn't expect Tzuyu to tap into but here they were sitting beside a dangerous, seductive, broken Tzuyu and they didn't know how to help her. Mina frowned at the girl beside her as Tzuyu dropped her smirk at the sight of a pouting Mina. Before she gets persuaded by her Unnie, Tzuyu called for the bill and paid for their lunch. The day went by like all the other days Tzuyu's had. Meetings, paperwork, firing less productive employees and meetings again, it was a routine that she's made as a comfort zone for the past year and a half, a routine that made her a robot. A very productive, successful, dangerous, seductive CEO robot. Mina dropped by her office at 8PM in hopes of persuading her to join them for the night but was again rejected by Tzuyu. The CEO leant down to place an apologetic kiss on her Unnie's forehead before hugging Mina goodnight. She really couldn't help but show her soft side for her Unnie. It would've been funny seeing as Tzuyu just fired someone not even 30 minutes ago because they pissed her off and now she was being a soft puppy in front of Mina.

She finished her work at 9PM in the evening and left the building. Just 3 more hours and this day could finally be over. So before driving to her penthouse, Tzuyu took a detour to the high-end bar that she frequented. A busty girl with short hair was waiting in front of the bar's entrance wearing a skimpy red skin tight dress. Tzuyu stopped her car in front of the girl and rolled down the passenger window before greeting the lady and inviting her inside. She met the random lady the night before and asked if she was free for tonight and of course the girl said yes. Tzuyu eyed her passenger for a second, noticing her appearance and how the lady blushed under Tzuyu's intense gaze before driving towards her penthouse.

The moment they entered Tzuyu's luxurious penthouse, clothes were ripped off and thrown elsewhere as Tzuyu pushed the girl onto the couch as she moved herself on top of the girl. She shut her eyes closed as she busied herself with undressing the woman beneath her trying to shut off her thoughts.

Surprised, Tzuyu got pushed off by the girl as she tugged on the CEO's dress signalling for the girl to take her clothes off too. "Let me do it for you" the woman whispered seductively but for Tzuyu it didn't send shivers up her spine but she let the girl take her clothes off anyway. She tried to distract herself with this woman's perfume that didn't really suit her senses, her moans that didn't make her feel anything and her kisses that felt stale. No one ever got close to how she made Tzuyu feel. No one. She let her hands roam around the woman's body which elicited another moan from the woman who was now above her and kissing down Tzuyu's neck. In desperation to feel anything, Tzuyu closed her eyes even tighter as she forced herself to enjoy the girl's ministrations on her skin but to no avail. She gripped the girl's jaw and guided her lips to hers as she kissed her with fervour. She couldn't help but think, what would her reactions be if she got this rough? Would she like it? What would she say? Tzuyu knew she was slipping again but she couldn't fight it this time, not when she downed 3 glasses of whiskey a couple of hours ago. The memories all came crashing back.

_She was exhausted as she ended her shift for the day. Grabbing her bag and running out of the café that she worked at, Tzuyu skipped through the streets in excitement as she passed by a flower store and bought one stem of red rose for her girlfriend. It was a special night. They barely got time for each other with Tzuyu juggling two jobs to pay the rent and the bills as well as personal expenses as her girlfriend tried to break-through the music industry. Tzuyu barely had time for herself and barely had time to hang out with her girlfriend even though they live at the same small one bedroom apartment. She was fresh out of college and had two jobs to keep herself afloat and not come running back to her privileged life in Taiwan away from her girlfriend here in South Korea. Her girlfriend was a singer, she booked gigs in restaurants and events but lately it wasn't a good couple of months for her as her bookings lessened. Fortunately, her girlfriend told her a month ago that she met a CEO that just started his own Entertainment Company and he eagerly signed her to become an artist in his company promising to book her as much gigs as he could considering that his company was just jumpstarting. This news was a pleasant surprise to Tzuyu, she was excited for her girlfriend. She wanted nothing but the best for the girl that she loved and she was glad that she finally had a chance to sky rocket into stardom._

_So the couple decided to have a celebratory night with the both of them just spending the night with each other like how they were years ago when they didn't have suffocating jobs and schedules to abide to. She's been texting her girlfriend throughout the day but she never got a reply back and of course Tzuyu assumed that it was in preparation for tonight's celebration. She didn't mind it anyway as she took the stairs up to their apartment and stopping at the door to fish her keys out of her pocket. She has been so exhausted from work these past few months having to shoulder most of the expenses since her girlfriend was still struggling to book gigs so she volunteered to pay more than half of her share for the bills. This was the best reward she could've ever wished for and she just wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up with her love and watch some cute dramas._

_She quietly slipped the key and turned the doorknob as she hid the rose behind her to surprise her girlfriend. She opened the door and immediately stopped in her tracks. She couldn't move. She couldn't even think. She wasn't drunk she was sure of it but the sight in front of her made her think that being drunk was better than what she was probably hallucinating right now. Her girlfriend of 2 years was currently sitting on their couch with a man who had his hand dangerously high up her thigh and his lips currently pressed onto hers. Tzuyu saw her world crash right in front of her. That night something inside her broke. She didn't notice the key slip through her fingers as it landed with a clank onto the floor which disrupted the make out session that was happening on her own couch. Her girlfriend immediately pushed the man away from her as she stared in shock at Tzuyu who stood frozen by the open door with a single rose in her hand._

_"Tzu-"_

_"Stop"_

_"Tzuyu" her girlfriend tried again but to no avail as she saw streams of tears come out of the tall girl's eyes. The rose in Tzuyu's hand fell onto the floor._

_"Jihyo stop talking."_

_"Chewy"_

"STOP" Tzuyu jolted out of her couch as she pushed the woman on top of her off. She breathed heavily as she ran her fingers though her hair. She can't believe she just had a flashback in the middle of a one night stand. What a mess of timing. She hasn't had an episode like this for the past year and today of all days it all flooded back. The woman who was kneeling in front of her naked was bewildered and immediately cupped Tzuyu's face and wiped the tears that were currently streaming down her face. Tzuyu didn't know what came through her that made her cry like this but whatever it is she didn't like it one bit. She was frustrated and annoyed. She has done a good job distracting herself from her thoughts for the past year and a half and today of all the days all her hard work came crashing down. It wasn't just an ordinary day. It was supposed to be her and Jihyo's 3rd anniversary. What a way to ruin her night. The girl kept asking her if she was okay and if she did anything wrong but frankly Tzuyu couldn't care less so she stared into the girl's concerned eyes.

"Get out."

"Excuse me. What?"

"I said get out."

"Seriously? You can't leave me hanging here."

"Get. Out."

The girl just scoffed as she got dressed and ushered herself out of Tzuyu's penthouse. The moment she heard her penthouse's door click shut she immediately gripped her hair and screamed at her empty living room. She quickly walked to her open floor kitchen as she pulled out a bottle of whiskey from her array of alcohol displayed against the wall. She downed a full glass of whiskey before quickly walking to her shower and calming herself down. She changed into comfortable gray jogger pants and a black hoodie as she sat on her couch staring blankly at her hands. She saw her phone on the coffee table and immediately reached for it to check the time. 11:00 PM. She still had an hour of this horrible day and she couldn't stop the thoughts from running through her mind as the whiskey hit her senses.

Droplets of her tears landed on her phone as she furiously wiped them off. Great. Now she was crying randomly again. What a fucking nuisance. She hated this. She hated everything that she was feeling right now. She felt weak. Like how she was years ago. She felt used. She felt replaceable. She hated it. She pocketed her phone as her tears won't stop flowing. So Tzuyu went out of her penthouse and rode the elevator to go to the only place in Korea where she truly felt at home. Fortunately it was just a few floors below her penthouse.

She kept wiping her tears away as she knocked on the door in front of her. The door opened revealing Mina in a penguin onesie and behind her was Dahyun and Chaeyoung on the couch shocked at Tzuyu's appearance. Mina was still shocked but at the sound of Tzuyu sniffling she immediately pulled the girl inside and locked the door before gathering Tzuyu in her arms as Tzuyu wrapped her arms around Mina's waist. For the first time since Tzuyu came back home to South Korea, she sobbed. She sobbed for her lost love. She sobbed in sympathy for herself. She buried her face into the crook of Mina's neck as she leant her body against her Unnie as she felt Mina tighten her arms around Tzuyu's violently shaking body.

"M-mina Unnie, it still hurts so much."

Mina couldn't help but cry with her as she desperately pressed kisses onto Tzuyu's temple. She cried for her broken friend. It was heart breaking and gut wrenching to hear Tzuyu sob in desperation. She was wailing in pain. It was so loud and so painful to hear. But none of them could help it go away. So Dahyun and Chaeyoung stood from their seats with tears running down their faces as they shared the pain their friend tried to suppress for months. They wrapped their arms around Mina and Tzuyu as they felt the tall girl's body shaking as she was sobbing.

For a year in Taiwan, alone, Tzuyu must've sobbed like this. Maybe even worse. But Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung all swore to themselves that Tzuyu would never have to be alone again. She wouldn't need to cry into an empty space anymore. Not when she was here with them. They would sob with her, laugh with her, and feel pain with her. So for the first time in a long time Tzuyu let herself break down again.


	2. CHAPTER II

The moment she woke up, Tzuyu had to look around and figure out where she was but the memories of the events that transpired hours ago came rushing back as she felt her chest tighten in pain yet again. She couldn’t move from her position as she was squished by Mina and Chaeyoung as the two girls wrapped their arms around their friend as Dahyun slept behind Mina wrapping her arms around the Japanese girl. Despite the pain in her chest, Tzuyu smiled at the sight of her friends protecting her even in their sleep. She was broken beyond repair but still her friends stuck by her through her ups and downs. Tzuyu looked at Mina’s slumbering face and placed a grateful kiss on her Unnie’s forehead. She turned her head and did the same to a drooling Chaeyoung who stirred slightly against her but soon stilled. Looking behind Chaeyoung’s sleeping figure towards the digital clock on the girl’s night stand it read 4:50AM. Usually, Tzuyu would wake up at 5AM or 5:30AM to start getting ready for work and it was quite impressive that even in her drunken emotional state her body seemed to be cooperating with her work schedule. Not that sleep gave her any reprieve from the onslaught of pain she had to endure.  
She quietly pried Mina and Chaeyoung’s arms away from her in hopes of sneakily running back to her penthouse to get ready for the day but of course Mina’s motherly instincts kicked in as she sensed her baby Yoda trying to get away from her grip. “Chou Tzuyu, I am not one of your one night stands that you hump and dump.” Halfway through sitting up, Tzuyu froze in her position as she slowly turned her head towards a glaring Mina as she sheepishly smiled at her Unnie. She would’ve joked about how Mina’s just woke up voice was sexy but she opted not to get beaten up so early in the day. So instead she leant back down on her side as she propped herself up with her arm to support her weight as she placed a kiss on Mina’s forehead yet again. “Thank you Unnie” it was so silent and soft that Mina barely caught on to what she said but she did. Ever since they were young, Tzuyu wasn’t one to express her feelings and she had a hard time trying to convey her thoughts. So after sobbing yet again against Mina last night, Tzuyu felt a much greater sense of gratitude and love for the older girl as she was always there for her, witnessing her distress and she couldn’t be more thankful to the girl and the two dorks beside them.

  
“I love you Chewy. We love you.” Mina wrapped her arms around Tzuyu’s shoulder as to pull her back down on the bed. The tall girl hid her face into the crook of her Unnie’s neck as she chocked back another sob and tried to even out her breathing. She hated emotions. She hated this. But right now she didn’t mind being held and surrounded by her friends so she let Mina rock her body gently and stroke her back as she felt her Unnie place gentle kisses on her temple. She loved her baby Yoda dearly even though she turned into an even more closed off alcoholic asshole she still loved her like a little sister. “I love you too Unnie” The sweet moment was disturbed by Dahyun snoring behind Mina as she mumbled something about Tofu. Tzuyu snickered and pulled away from Mina. “Unnie I’m going to get ready for the day and I’ll get you guys around 6AM. We can drop by the café so I can treat you for breakfast. Is that okay?”

  
Mina eventually let Tzuyu get ready as she woke up Dahyun and Chaeyoung. She thought that maybe since Tzuyu decided to break her walls down in front of them last night that she would change back into their little Chewy but she was gravely mistaken when the moment that they stepped inside the company Tzuyu immediately went back to her emotionless self. At the sight of their CEO, everyone immediately scurried to their seats and places as Mina, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu walked towards the elevator together. An elevator door opened and a few employees who were waiting for it walked inside but when they saw Tzuyu walk towards the elevator they immediately stepped out and held it open for Tzuyu, Mina and Chaeyoung to enter instead as the employees waited for another elevator to open up. When the elevator closed, Mina sighed and looked at Tzuyu. “Do you really need to scare them like that? They could’ve rode the elevator with us.”

  
The CEO didn’t bother gazing at Mina as she replied in an uninterested tone. “I didn’t tell them to run off, Unnie. They did it themselves.” The moment the elevator opened at the top most floor of the building, Tzuyu’s secretary was diligently waiting for her with her clipboard in hand. The trio split off as they all went to their respective offices since this was the Executive Floor where all the higher positioned employees were located. Tzuyu walked towards her office with her secretary hot on her heels explaining something about a last minute approval of a meeting with their newly acquired Mobile Phone Brand and the Commercial Team that would help them shoot the advertisement for it.  
“I don’t understand why approving meetings is such a difficult task for you.” Tzuyu dropped her phone on her desk as she sat on her chair immediately checking her emails on her desktop. Her secretary was trembling in front of her as she profusely apologized for the delay. It was just 8 in the morning but Tzuyu has made multiple people shiver in fear. With an annoyed sigh she waived the secretary off. “Your incompetence this early in the morning is making my head ache. Go do something productive.”

  
Tzuyu rolled her eyes as she watched her secretary scurry out of her office. It didn’t help her temper when she was constantly being bombarded by random flashbacks and her chest was constantly aching in pain ever since she broke down last night. It took her a year to lessen the ache into a dull pain but now it all just rounded back to square one. She massaged her temples in annoyance as she thought about how incompetent her staff is before reaching for the glass of whiskey and taking a sip from it to ease her incoming headache.

  
The company’s South Korean branch was handed to Tzuyu by her father 6 months ago. As his precious daughter, he gave Tzuyu free reigns as to what projects she wanted to do. She tried so hard to persuade her father to not expand to South Korea but to no avail and because Tzuyu was fluent in Korean and has spent years here, her father was set on giving Tzuyu the position as CEO which she desperately tried to evade but again to no avail. It’s not that Tzuyu wasn’t capable of handling a company, she was more than capable but she didn’t want it to be in South Korea for obvious reasons. Why would she go back to the place where she desperately tried to run away from? She was running away from something or more specifically someone and she wasn’t a fan of flying back to the country that broke her. She tried so hard to forget everything that she went through and here was her father basically throwing her back to this place. Thinking about all of this again just made Tzuyu’s head pound and with a pained groan she reached for her glass of whiskey and took a sip.

  
Moreover, Tzuyu was young thus she had a better grasp in the modern market so as a young CEO she decided to take a different route from her parents’ usual business venture like hospitals and the like. She decided to buy one of the most popular Mobile brands in the country and put it under the company’s assets thus making it one of her first brands as CEO. So today, she was going to meet up with the Brand Team that she retained from the previous employees of the Mobile Company and some of her own Marketing Executives along with the Commercial Shoot Team that would help them conceptualize an advertisement scheme for the new line up of phone models that they would be releasing to the market.

  
Recently one of her strong competitors in the Mobile Gadget Business, Samsung, released a phone model in collaboration with Blackpink and Tzuyu as a newbie in the Gadget Industry didn’t want to be left in the dust. So she thought about finding a decent K-Idol that everyone adored to be the face of her new brand. Of course with the approval of her Marketing and Brand Team. She didn’t follow much about the music industry anymore not since a year ago so she was sort of out of the loop. Fortunately for her, Mina was the head of the Marketing Team so she could fill her in on what the target market idolized these days.

  
The morning flew by as Tzuyu finished one of her many meetings for the day and ate lunch with Mina and Chaeyoung. “Ready for the big meeting? I’m really excited about this one. Purchasing a major mobile brand was a great idea, Chewy-yah.” Mina gushed as they exited the elevator and walked towards the younger girl’s office with Mina linking their arms together. “Of course, Unnie. I spent 5 months setting this up. The only thing we need now is to market it. The only problem is, how the hell are we going to beat Blackpink’s promotions? That gets me stumped every time.” Mina smiled as she sat on the chair in front of Tzuyu’s desk as the CEO sat on her respective chair. “We don’t need to beat them. People have different preferences in phones. We just need to market ours to be one of those top preferences as well.”

  
Tzuyu nodded at Mina, impressed with her Marketing prowess. She hired Mina for a reason and her Unnie never failed to exceed her expectations. “I’m so glad you’re my Marketing Executive” Mina just stood up and flipped her hair smirking as she sashayed her way towards the door. “Let’s go to the meeting Chewy. Watch and learn from Unnie.” Tzuyu scoffed but smiled as she stood up and drank a generous amount of whiskey from the glass sitting idly on her table before following Mina towards one of her executive conference rooms.

  
Tzuyu’s secretary opened the door for the two as Tzuyu walked in first with Mina following her. Everyone stood up at the sight of the CEO as they bowed in greeting before waiting for her to take a seat at the head of the table before sitting down as well. The Brand Team started presenting the proposals for concepts and themes for the advertisements and commercials promotions they planned on shooting and as the meeting went on Tzuyu was grateful for the distraction it brought her from her thoughts as she fully immersed herself in what she was working on. Mina leant forward in her seat after the Brand Team’s proposals. “How about we promote it using actors in series use it as their prop phones. Dramas have reached a whole new platform recently now that it’s been available on Netflix and other portals. In regards with the Commercial Shoot, the target market has always been one to root for up and coming K-Idols. But since one Idol won’t do the trick, let’s combine each rookie idol in one shoot. More fresh pretty faces, more publicity.”

  
The head of the Brand Team immediately flashed another slide on the screen he was presenting. “We actually prepared a list of Idols in case your company wanted to use a singer as the model for the brand. These are the idols who have been rapidly gaining popularity over the past year and could play a huge role in the marketability of the product.” The executive flashed a couple of rookie groups such as Itzy, Stray Kids and others but one rookie idol caught Mina and Tzuyu’s attention as the Executive stopped flashing pictures and stilled it on the idol’s picture while continuing on with his ideas and opinions. Mina subtly eyed Tzuyu who was sat beside her. Tzuyu sat there frozen with her eyes glazed over. The older girl was concerned as she glanced down at Tzuyu’s lap and saw her fists closed and trembling as the CEO took deep subtle breaths.

  
Tzuyu just nodded in agreement and cut the Executive off from his long explanation as she leant back into her seat. “Alright, the concept needs working on and the advertisements need to be polished. I don’t want it to look like the common commercial. Contact every popular Drama Series and upcoming series and propose for them to use our phone as props. I want a much more refined list of famous rookie idols suitable to be the face of our brand. That is all.”

  
Tzuyu stood up from her seat as the 2 hour long meeting has finally concluded and made her way to her office with Mina beside her and her secretary scurrying behind them. The moment Tzuyu sat in her seat Mina stood in front of her desk not even bothering to sit down. “You haven’t been in the country for a year and you’ve been blatantly avoiding anything that has to do with Korean Singers and songs.” Tzuyu just sighed but nodded. “You know why I avoid it Unnie.”

  
_It was a Sunday and Tzuyu was at home laying on the couch as she waited for Jihyo to come home. IF she comes home. It’s already a couple of minutes past midnight and they were supposed to have a dinner date at home. Tzuyu even pleaded to her boss if she could clock out of work early and with a lot of persuasion she was allowed to leave early. She was excited of course since recently Jihyo’s been busy with gigs and hasn’t been coming home early. Well she came home early, more like early in the morning at the dead of night. Which was the cause of their fights lately._

  
_Jihyo was actually having a hard time booking gigs so her only job was her nightly gigs at a local pub which didn’t let her earn as much money but that was the only job she had. Because of this Jihyo was having a hard time paying her share with the bills and food. Tzuyu being a good person in general, maybe too good, decided to get another job to compensate for the money Jihyo wasn’t making. Thus leaving Tzuyu with juggling two jobs and lessening her time with Jihyo. Tzuyu would come home too tired for anything so she just usually passed out in bed just to wake up early to go back to work._

  
_But she never complained. In her head, struggling was worth it since it allowed her to stay in South Korea which meant staying with Jihyo. Frankly, she didn’t need to struggle, her father has been hounding her to come home to Taiwan and work in their company but this meant she would need to leave Jihyo in Korea and she was not about to leave her alone even though they’d just be in a long distance relationship if she did. Struggling alongside Jihyo was better than having a comfortable life without her._

  
_So after another intense fight about Jihyo demanding more time from Tzuyu, they both agreed to have a simple dinner date at home. They planned on cooking like old times and enjoying a simple meal together. This seemed to satiate Jihyo’s anger and the older girl agreed so Tzuyu made it a point to buy food that they can successfully cook together. But when Tzuyu came home the night of the date at 8PM there wasn’t any sign of her girlfriend’s presence. So she waited. The clock struck 10pm and still no sign of Jihyo. But Tzuyu just assumed that she had a sudden call-in at work or a surprise gig schedule so she cooked their dinner in advance thinking that maybe Jihyo would come home exhausted and they could enjoy the meal together before sleeping._

  
_It was 1 in the morning when Jihyo decided to make her way home. By that time, Tzuyu had already passed out in exhaustion on the couch as their dinner went cold on the table. Jihyo just stood by the door after she locked it and saw the fresh flowers in their vase and the table set up so nicely with food that was probably already cold. Roaming her eyes around the room she saw her girlfriend sleeping uncomfortably on the couch and that was when she realized what day it was. She forgot. She forgot their planned date._

  
_Jihyo silently took off her coat and shoes before laying down on the couch as much as she can and wrapping her arms around Tzuyu to prevent herself from falling. Tzuyu woke up to the warmth of Jihyo’s arms and she immediately wrapped her arms around her girlfriend despite being disappointed that she came home late. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jagi.” Tzuyu stiffened in Jihyo’s arms and the older girl buried her face into Tzuyu’s chest in shame and guilt. “I forgot. I went out with a couple of friends from work and Daniel. The CEO I was talking to you about. He was planning on signing me into the company to be one of his artists. It’s a big opportunity, Jagi. I mean he was still planning to set up the company but he said it’ll be a fast process and then he could book me more gigs and produce songs for me. Please understand me.”_

  
_Tzuyu wanted to cry, she wanted to get mad and shout at her but she didn’t. She was glad that Jihyo was finding connections to help her jumpstart her dream even if it meant setting Tzuyu aside. “I understand.” The younger mumbled against Jihyo’s temple. The older girl tightened her arms around Tzuyu releasing a relieved sigh. “Thank you for understanding.”_

  
_Tzuyu pulled away and gazed at Jihyo’s face, the older girl refusing to make eye contact with her which didn’t go unnoticed by the younger girl. She thought it was unconventional for Jihyo to refuse to look into her eyes but she just concluded that it was because she felt guilty about coming home late and forgetting about the date so she let it go. “Are you hungry? Let’s go eat together. I made your favourite.”_

  
_Jihyo still couldn’t look her in the eye and Tzuyu’s heart broke for the nth time that night. “I already ate with Daniel. I’m sorry Jagi” Tzuyu just nodded and stood up from the couch to make her way towards the kitchen. She hasn’t eaten anything since lunch but her appetite was long gone. Jihyo stood up and watched as her girlfriend started putting the food inside the fridge. “Chewy I’m really sorry.”_

  
_Jihyo watched as Tzuyu stopped cleaning the table as she stood still and took a couple of deep breaths before turning around and locking her gaze with Jihyo as she flashed the older girl a small sad smile. “Go to bed. I know you’re tired.” With that Tzuyu turned back around and continued on cleaning the table._

  
Mina sighed as she sat in front of Tzuyu. She knows what happens when her friend spaces out for even a second. “Tzuyu, she has been doing quite alright in the industry. She’s still not on the level of IU but maybe in a couple of years she’ll eventually get there. Her management isn’t exactly the best but her songs are amazing.”

  
Tzuyu grabbed the glass of whiskey and the bottle beside it as she filled it to the brim and downed it straight before rubbing her temples. “Unnie, why are you telling me all this? So what if I haven’t been listening to Korean songs?” Mina felt her chest tighten at the sight of Tzuyu downing another drink and she didn’t even say Jihyo’s name. “Chewy, she’s a rookie idol and has a good standing in the yearly ranks. Aside from Itzy and Stray Kids, there’s a huge possibility that the Commercial and Brand Team would propose the project to her as well.”

  
“If you’re worrying about me being unprofessional I can assure you right now Unnie that I am nothing of the sort. If ever the Team proposes on getting her and I get outvoted then I can’t and won’t do anything about it. It’s just a couple of commercial shoots and skits. It’ll end in no time. I’m sure they won’t need me to monitor each shoot anyway.” Tzuyu was so done with this topic. Besides, the line up for rookie idols weren’t presented to her yet and maybe the Brand Team won’t even consider getting the girl. Maybe.


	3. CHAPTER III

“CHOU TZUYU!”

Mina shrieked as she covered her eyes and stood perfectly still at the entrance of Tzuyu’s bedroom. On the other hand Tzuyu just lifted herself off of the girl spread out on the bed as she watched her scurry to put her clothes back on and fast walk her way outside Tzuyu’s penthouse with her just-got-fucked hairdo. “It’s all good now Unnie” Tzuyu said amusedly as she sat up and leant against her headboard while pulling the sheets to cover her chest. Mina slowly dropped her hands as she glanced around to make sure the random girl was gone before she leant her back against the wall facing Tzuyu’s bed. “Chou Tzuyu, it’s almost 6AM!” She gazed at the girl on the bed who was smirking at her. Tzuyu looked ethereal with the warm light coming from the lamp hitting her beautiful face making her features soften as she smirked at Mina’s figure that was leaning against the wall. Mina felt shivers run up her spine as she saw the dark side of Tzuyu again. There’s a different glint in Tzuyu’s eyes as she stared at Mina that she didn’t have a year and 6 months ago. For a moment, Mina forgot why she was in the girl’s penthouse so early in the morning as the aftershocks of catching her baby Chewy in the middle of fucking another random girl hit her again.

“Is there something wrong, Unnie? Are you alright?” There she was again. Her Chewy. Mina was going to have a headache at how Tzuyu can be the world’s most annoyingly seductive playgirl this second and then transform into their sweet and innocent Chewy the next. Mina sighed as she dropped her tense shoulders at the sight of Tzuyu giving her such concerned puppy eyes. “We wanted to go get breakfast with you before work and seeing as you gave me the passcode to your door and free reign in visiting I figured I’d go get you myself.” Tzuyu smiled a genuine smile as she bounced in her spot. “Give me 20 minutes!” With that the girl threw her comforter off her naked body and sprinted past Mina to shower. Mina who was left alone in the girl’s room shuddered as she stared at Tzuyu’s bed sheets not wanting to know how many girls have laid there so she decided to wait for Tzuyu in her kitchen and get herself a glass of cold water while she’s at it.

Tzuyu emerged from the room ready to start the work day looking as sleek as usual. When they reached the parking lot, Chaeyoung was already waiting for them dressed in her work clothes for the day and leaning against Tzuyu’s car. Mina held her palm out as she stared at Tzuyu. “I’m driving. I’m taking you two to my favourite pastry shop.” At the mention of pastry Tzuyu immediately dropped her keys into Mina’s palm and climbed into the backseat while Chaeyoung sat in the passenger seat beside her girlfriend. On the way there Mina glanced at Tzuyu who was in her own little world at the backseat as she stared outside her window probably reminiscing about the old days. Her heart constricted in sympathy and concern for the girl as she noticed Chaeyoung glancing back at Tzuyu as well while wearing the same concerned gaze for their friend. She might appear nonchalant on the outside but they knew deep down Tzuyu was in a constant battle with her emotions.

This time, Chaeyoung sat beside Tzuyu as Mina was busy picking the pastry goods for the three of them. After picking out the food, Mina placed them in front of the two children in front of her as she sat in her own seat. Chaeyoung can’t help but notice Tzuyu laughing silently at Mina’s disgusted face. “What did I miss?” Mina set her fork down before kicking Tzuyu’s leg underneath the table making the taller girl smirk even wider. “Ask your best friend what she made me witness so early in the morning and tell me if you won’t be disgusted as well.” Chaeyoung stared up at Tzuyu with wide excited eyes as she waited for her to plead her case. “I was in the middle of having sex with the girl I talked to you about yesterday when she walked in.” Chaeyoung gasped and lifted her hand up for a high five which Tzuyu enthusiastically gave as they grinned at each other. “Nice one! Atta girl!” Mina on the other hand kicked her girlfriend’s shin underneath the table making Chaeyoung squeak and clear her throat before correcting her statement to please her glaring girlfriend across the table. “I mean bad Chewy.” Tzuyu just scoffed and continued on eating her pastry. ”Whipped.”

It was Chaeyoung’s turn to scoff as she nudged Tzuyu with her shoulder. “As if you weren’t as whipped as I am. Maybe even more.” The moment Chaeyoung finished her sentence she immediately covered her mouth and stilled as she watched Tzuyu. Tzuyu went rigid as her hand tightened its hold onto the glass of iced coffee in her hand. Mina who watched it all unfold cringed at her girlfriend’s slip and anticipated what Tzuyu’s reaction would be.

_It was Valentines Season and as per usual the campus was filled with paper hearts and boys running around campus to impress some college girls hoping to get a date. Tzuyu being one of the most popular faces in campus received a lot of both anonymous and named flowers and letters on her desk and in her locker. It was lunch period as Tzuyu yet again received another wave of random flowers and letters in her locker as she was currently collecting all of them to throw them away. Meanwhile, Sana, Momo, Nayeon and Jeongyeon were all behind their maknae as they watched the girl hurry up cleaning her locker before Jihyo finds them. Her girlfriend wouldn’t be too pleased to see another wave of letters in her girlfriend’s locker since earlier this morning Jihyo ordered Tzuyu to throw away the letters and flowers she received because it irritated her to no end._

_In her defense, she claimed that she was the only person Tzuyu should accept letters and flowers from. So Jihyo crossed her arms in the middle of the hallway that morning and used her loud voice to blatantly threaten the anonymous suitors to cut it out. Of course Nayeon video recorded it on her phone since it amused her to see Jihyo so possessive of their little maknae. Jihyo and their friends knew that Tzuyu was popular and Jihyo didn’t like that her girlfriend had so many insistent suitors. So to save herself and her suitors from Jihyo’s rage and tantrums, Tzuyu was currently bent down as some letters fell to the floor. She heard snickers and laughs from her Unnies behind her but she ignored them as she continued collecting the pesky letters. “Chewy-yah she’s not even here and you’re still so whipped. Let Jihyo see how popular you are so she’ll guard you better.”_

_Sana tapped Momo’s arm as the Jap line all whipped their head to the direction Sana was subtly pointing at. It was Elkie, who they all knew had the biggest crush on their maknae. Well, all of them except their ever so oblivious maknae. Elkie was fast walking towards their direction but stopped abruptly at the sight of Tzuyu collecting letters from the floor. It would’ve been a normal sight but Sana saw Elkie hide a letter behind her back and stand wide eyed while locking gazed with the Japanese girl. When she saw the Jap line whip their heads at her direction with scared wide eyes, she immediately turned back and attempted to run away but instead of successfully evading Tzuyu’s friends she ran straight into an unimpressed Jihyo who saw the whole thing. Jihyo had her arms crossed in front of her and had a wide grin on her face which didn’t reach her eyes as she watched Elkie tighten her grip onto the letter in her hand._

_Tzuyu stopped collecting the letters and stood up as she heard a loud squeak coming from the end of the hallway. She watched in horror as she saw Jihyo’s mad grin plaster on the girl’s face as she tried to figure out what pissed her girlfriend off this time and got even more confused as she saw her friend, Elkie facing Jihyo. Tzuyu heard Nayeon and Jeongyeon snicker at the sight and watched as her Japanese Unnies inch their way slowly to get closer to Elkie to eavesdrop into the conversation. Dahyun and Chaeyoung who just got there immediately flanked beside Tzuyu as the trio watched wide eyed at the fate of their classmate Elkie. “Hi Elkie, what are you hiding there?” Jihyo grinned at the younger girl in front of her not noticing her friends at the other end of the hallway watching them. Poor Elkie was shaking badly as she gripped the letter tightly and hid it behind her back away from Jihyo’s glaring eyes. “Nothing Jihyo Unnie. Uhm I have to go eat lunch. Bye Unnie!” The shaking girl sprinted with all her might away from Jihyo’s line of sight as the older girl watched Elkie run in amusement and satisfaction._

_Jihyo turned to face her friends at the end of the hallway and the Jap Line immediately ran back to Nayeon’s side in front of Tzuyu’s locker and as Jihyo was walking towards them, Nayeon and Jeongyeon started clapping with amused grins plastered on their faces. Tzuyu sheepishly smiled at Jihyo who stopped in front of her and eyed the letters in her girlfriend’s arms. “Chou Tzuyu, what is that?” Tzuyu immediately shoved the letters into Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s arms as the trio smiled at Jihyo sheepishly. It was Momo who had the guts to cut into the scene in front of her as she dragged the shaking trio towards the cafeteria so she could finally eat her jokbal while addressing the 8 girls behind her._

_“I’ve said this to you before Chewy and I’ll say it again. Whipped much?”_

_Jihyo just kissed the underside of Tzuyu’s jaw as the younger girl wrapped an arm around her shoulders while they trailed behind their amused friends into the cafeteria. “She better be.” Jihyo whispered under her breathe but made sure to say it loud enough for Tzuyu to hear. A loving kiss was placed on her cheek as she felt Tzuyu nuzzle her temple sweetly. “Always”_

Mina was concerned that the glass would actually break due to Tzuyu’s intense grip so she immediately plucked it out of the girl’s hand as Chaeyoung raised a fork full of croissant in front of the girl’s line of sight. “Try this one! It’s your style!” Tzuyu took a deep breathe to calm her nerves. She knew what her friends were trying to do and she was grateful for them as they yet again saved her from a breakdown. Turning her head to face a sheepish Chaeyoung, she smiled at her small friend before opening her mouth to let Chaeyoung feed her.

Tzuyu drove them to work and the morning went by quickly and Tzuyu found herself inside conference room again with Mina beside her. Both the Brand and Commercial Team seemed pleased as they presented the concept of the shoots and advertisements they’d be shooting with each individual rookie idol that they’ll hire. Mina who was watching the concept proposal intently was satisfied as she typed on her laptop about some minor details and adjustments. Tzuyu leant forward to address her team. “So since the concepts, budgets, schedules and contract proposals are all figured out and polished. Are you finished compiling a list of idols? Because your plans are just plans till we have brand ambassadors.”

The head of the team was confident as she nodded enthusiastically at Tzuyu and pulled up the list of idols and flashed it onto the screen. “We actually took the liberty to send them the brand proposals to save time so we can shoot as soon as they reply. We took the top 3 idol rookies for this year’s ranking.” Tzuyu was impressed with the team’s initiative since she’d told them to pick just the best of the rookies. So it was very logical and time efficient of them to choose the ones who ranked the highest in the country’s yearly ranking system. Luck was not on her side as the team flashed the idols on the screen. The CEO took a deep breath as she willed her face to remain emotionless as her eyes gazed into the face of someone she hasn’t seen for a year and a half. The country’s 3rd highest ranking rookie idol. Park Jihyo.

Mina watched Tzuyu remain composed and unaffected at the information and silently praised the CEO’s professionalism. “So you’ve sent the proposal to their companies?” The team nodded at her and she watched Tzuyu again waiting for her response. After a while the CEO dropped her pen on the table and remained stoic. “Alright that’s good. Our phone models are currently being used in drama shootings as well so we have that finished. Make sure to set the schedules for the commercial shoots as fast and efficiently as possible. They are idols so we shouldn’t waste their time as well as ours. Time is of the essence, people. Understood?” A chorus of curt agreements were heard as Tzuyu stood in her seat to exit the room. The moment Tzuyu left the room everyone sighed in relief as none of them got insulted in the slightest which made them think that they did a good job.

Inside KD Entertainment’s recording studio, Jihyo was sulking in the corner as she watched Daniel record another one of his songs for his upcoming album. He’s released 2 albums in a span of a year and he’s planning on releasing another one in a couple of months. Jihyo, on the other hand only had 1 mini album which topped the charts immediately. Her fans were all asking for a comeback seeing as she’s been on hiatus for 12 whole months. Of course she wanted to have a comeback but that wasn’t possible when her own CEO/boyfriend was focused on his own album rather than his artists’. Jihyo’s manager entered the room as she sighed at the sight of Daniel who was yet again recording his song. The manager smiled sadly at Jihyo as she sat beside the artist. “Is he done?” Jihyo sighed and nodded. “Yes Unnie, you’re right on time.”

Before Daniel could leave the recording booth, Jihyo’s manager sneakily mumbled lowly so that only her artist can hear. “Sometimes I wonder why you don’t just jump to another company. You know, JYP has been calling me non-stop.” Jihyo was shocked at the information but was cut off when Kang Daniel stepped into her line of sight seemingly waiting for a compliment that Jihyo weakly gave as she flashed the guy a small smile that didn’t even reach her eyes. Jihyo’s manager stood up and held a couple of papers in front of Daniel. “I received this through email. It’s from the company that recently purchased a famous mobile brand. In summary, they want Jihyo to be their new brand ambassador and would like to get a response as soon as possible.”

Jihyo’s eyes widened. She hasn’t had any offers like this ever so this would be her first time. She was thrilled to say the least. “That’s so exciting! I’d love to be their brand ambassador, Daniel.” Daniel read the contract meticulously as he frowned. In all honesty he couldn’t care less about the contract, he was much more bummed out at the fact that he wasn’t the one receiving a brand contract seeing as he’s been releasing albums non-stop. “Please? This could also be a chance to promote the company’s name and reputation.” With that, his face lightened considerably as he thought about the proposal. “That’s a good way to think about it, honey. Alright you can go smooch off of these brand proposals. Where do I sign?”


	4. CHAPTER IV

A day later, Tzuyu was nursing a glass of whiskey at 9 in the morning while working on the budget proposals and other things on her desk. Something in the back of her mind told her that she was nearing something dangerous but maybe that was just her body telling her to cut off on whiskey so she shrugged it off. Mina waltzed in her office and plopped herself on the seat in front of the CEO’s large desk. If it was anyone else they would’ve been fired and dragged out of the office in a split second. “So, the idols all replied with an affirmative. I already set a schedule to visit them at their companies to discuss the schedules, plans and concepts. Thoughts?”

Tzuyu stopped twirling her glass of whiskey as she stared at Mina across from her. “Is this you fishing for compliments at being a very efficient Marketing Executive?” Mina scoffed as she snatched the glass from Tzuyu’s hand and pushed it away from the girl. “No I was actually asking if you had any other instructions for me to do but since you seem so eager to compliment me then I won’t stop you.” Tzuyu smiled at her before reaching for the glass of whiskey and taking a sip again. “What time are you leaving?” Mina stood up and adjusted her blazer and pencil skirt before sashaying towards the CEO’s door. “Right now. Go eat lunch with Chaeyoung later.”

Mina heard a faint ‘Yes Ma’am’ coming from her CEO but she walked straight towards the elevator and down to the parking lot. She meticulously set the meeting schedules for today and arranged it so she’d meet with Jihyo last later this afternoon. For now she had to talk to Itzy and Stray Kids which would be a blast seeing as she was a fan of the two groups. Yes Jihyo did rank 3rd in the rookie idol ranking but that was because there really wasn’t many rookie idols that debuted this year. She wasn’t well-known nor was her company. Out of all her songs only one song made it to the charts. She had potential and Mina couldn’t deny that Jihyo was an extraordinary idol she just couldn’t break into the industry but maybe with more promotions and the right management she’d eventually get there. She couldn’t help but find it ironic that Jihyo left Tzuyu to chase her dreams (and her libido) and after 18 months Tzuyu was the one giving Jihyo advertisement contracts that would further expose her to the masses.

After her lunch meeting with Itzy, Mina drove her way to KD Entertainment. She wasn’t nervous nor was she concerned with meeting Jihyo again after so long. She had her own secrets as well. Mina was arguably the calmest one out of their group before but when push comes to shove she’d do anything to protect her cubs. A.K.A Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu.

_It was a month after Tzuyu disappeared from South Korea and from Nayeon, Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Momo and Sana’s lives entirely. Nayeon who held Tzuyu in a special place in her heart just about lost it when her favourite maknae seemingly vanished from the face of the earth. She tried calling, texting and even stalking the girl but to no avail. Her line was cut off and she was nowhere to be found. She knew Tzuyu didn’t come back to her shared apartment with Jihyo not ever since that night she caught her. She felt her heart drop but she knew why Tzuyu cut her and the others off. The 4 of them knew about Jihyo cheating on Tzuyu. They all lied to her face. At first she thought she was just shielding Tzuyu’s heart but the longer it went on the shittier they all felt. She regretted not telling Tzuyu but its too late now._

_Jeongyeon wasn’t fairing any better. She treated Tzuyu like her own child and took the maknae under her wing from the beginning. The first time her call wasn’t answered by Tzuyu she thought that maybe the girl was just busy or not in the mood seeing as she just discovered Jihyo’s affair. But one call became almost a hundred and Jeongyeon was drowning in guilt and distress. She wanted to punch herself for not being on Tzuyu’s side from the very start like she should’ve. Out of all the Unnies, Jeongyeon was supposed to be the one to stand by Tzuyu’s side. She felt like a sham of a friend and she couldn’t calm her thoughts thinking where the maknae disappeared to. If she could come crawling to the girl begging for forgiveness she would but she didn’t know where she was and that thought alone terrified her._

_Sana bawled her eyes out. She couldn’t even stand seeing Daniel and Jihyo together anymore. She was mad that Tzuyu didn’t even come to say goodbye before abandoning her like this. But didn’t she do the same? Worse even? She lied to her. She aided Jihyo to break Tzuyu’s heart. In a sense, didn’t she abandon the younger girl first? Every time Sana thought about it she would cry her eyes out immediately. She was frantic to explain to the girl but how could she if no one had a single clue where Tzuyu ran off to. Maybe this was Tzuyu’s way of making Sana taste her own medicine by leaving her and cutting her out of her life like how Sana did to her. In her heart, Sana knew she deserved it. They all deserved it. It didn’t make it hurt any less though._

_Momo was mad. She was mad at Tzuyu for leaving just like that. Like she didn’t mean anything to the younger girl to even say goodbye or tell her where she is or how she’s doing. She was mad at her. She was mad at Jihyo and Daniel for roping her into this mess. Mostly she was mad at herself for even helping Jihyo hide her relationship with Daniel. Even volunteering to distract Tzuyu so that Jihyo can sneak out to meet the guy. She was mad at herself for giving Tzuyu the perfect reason to hate her and abandon her._

_After a month, Jihyo was consumed in guilt but she always convinced herself that what she did was justified. She wanted to talk to Tzuyu or maybe just see her face. She didn’t know why, seeing as she already had a boyfriend but she just needed to. She felt like there was so much she wanted to say to the girl or maybe Tzuyu would do something to win her back. She can’t deny that she cheated on her. In her defense, she just kept repeating and justifying to herself that Tzuyu should’ve made more time to be with her then she wouldn’t be so desperate to seek affection and time from someone else. They all didn’t know where Tzuyu went. Where she ran off to or how she was doing._

_She wasn’t Tzuyu’s girlfriend anymore but she wanted to see how the girl was fairing or maybe just explain to Tzuyu why she sought out affection in another man’s arms. In all honesty, she expected Tzuyu to come back and fight for her. Maybe plead for Jihyo to choose her but after a month there was no signs of Tzuyu. She was so used to winning all their arguments. Whenever they fought, Tzuyu was always the one to apologize and come crawling back to her. Tzuyu always adjusted and compromised to Jihyo and the older girl thought that this time would be the same as the other times they fought. She waited and waited for Tzuyu to come crawling back to her to beg or plead for Jihyo to take her back but she didn’t. She didn’t do anything and that confused Jihyo to no end. It gave her a reason to contemplate about their relationship dynamic and everything that’s happened._

_One thing’s for sure, Mina, Chaeyoung and Dahyun knew something that they didn’t. In their group chat, they were all frantic and desperate to know if their maknae was still even alive but not once did they see any replies or chats from the couple and Dahyun. It seemed like Tzuyu wasn’t the only one who’s cutting the 5 of them off. Saying Jihyo was mad was an understatement. She was fuming. They were supposed to be friends but Mina, Chaeyoung and Dahyun were clearly keeping something from them and were blatantly avoiding them. They weren’t coming to hangouts anymore or even just for something as simple as coffee runs. She wanted to see if they were housing Tzuyu this whole time and keeping them from seeing and checking in on the younger girl. So after a month of not seeing the trio, Jihyo drove her way to Mina and Chaeyoung’s apartment to have a talk with her Japanese friend._

_Mina just finished her hour long call with Tzuyu as she heard harsh knocks on her apartment door. She looked at Dahyun and Chaeyoung who were lounging on the couch watching movies but the two seemed to be as curious as she was. “You two didn’t order take-out again did you?” The two sat on the couch shook their heads at the older girl and went back to watching their movie as Mina made her way to the door. She opened it slightly to peak outside and was met with a fuming Jihyo who had her arms crossed in front of her. Mina opened the door fully to let the girl in and locked it behind her as she watched Jihyo roam her eyes around their apartment not even bothering to greet the 3 of them._

_Mina has been holding herself back from completely pulling Jihyo’s hair off for a month now and Jihyo storming into her apartment like she owned the place didn’t help her case. “Where is she?” Jihyo turned and faced Mina still holding an air of authority as she demanded to know where Tzuyu was. Dahyun and Chaeyoung felt both their heads boil at how Jihyo was acting up right now but their eyes landed on Mina and they decided to sit this war out when they saw how the Japanese girl clenched her fists. Chaeyoung subtly paused the movie and huddled closer to Dahyun as they watched their Unnies._

_Mina steeled her shoulders and locked gazes with Jihyo as she returned the girl’s fuming eyes with her own. If she wanted to fight, Mina was going to fight. “Why do you need to know?” An exasperated laugh left Jihyo’s mouth as she stood her ground. In all her years being friends with Mina they haven’t talked to each other like this and it was a shock to hear the girl like this but of course she wasn’t going to show how it affected her. She was here to talk to Tzuyu and that’s it. “I need to talk to her. You have no right to hide her from us. She’s been out of everyone’s radar for too long. She can’t keep hiding like this.”_

_If Mina was mad earlier, she was completely fuming now. The audacity of this girl to cheat on her loyal girlfriend who stayed in Korea beside her broke ass instead of living a comfortable life in Taiwan, act like she was the victim and now storm into her apartment and demand from them. Mina let out a loud scoff and walked slowly towards Jihyo who now dropped her crossed arms as she watched Mina stalk towards her like she was prey and whisper to her so menacingly it made the hair on her arms stand up in both shock and fear. “You had no right to cheat on her when she’s been nothing but devoted to you. You have no right to demand anything from her now or ever. The moment you even thought of cheating, you lost all rights to even lay your eyes on Tzuyu or even hear her voice. Because guess what Park Jisoo? You didn’t deserve her in the first place. You never did.”_

_Jihyo was taken aback at how Mina spoke to her. She was slack jawed as she stared into Mina’s eyes in hurt and disbelief. She never thought Mina was capable of appearing so menacing. But what affected her was the weight of her words. It wounded her more than she anticipated. It hurt her because deep down she knew Mina was right. She knew what would break Tzuyu the most and she did it anyway. But there was no use in letting her guilt and sorrow swallow her whole, she had a boyfriend and a career to focus on and that’s all she needed. Jihyo felt her body shake as she contained a sob but she was never one to not have the last say in an argument. “Then who deserves her? You? Is that why you’re hiding her from everyone because you want her for yourself?”_

_Chaeyoung was gripping Dahyun’s arm so hard as she felt the girl wanting to go over there and join the conversation. They all knew what a low blow that was coming from Jihyo but the younger girls knew that it was just an attempt to get under Mina’s skin. Mina knew why Jihyo’s next jab was worded like that and she would be damned if she didn’t use it to her advantage. So Mina smirked with a protective glint in her eyes as she stared Jihyo down. With the same low menacing voice Mina took her turn._

_“How does it feel? Knowing that she ran into my arms rather than yours?”_

_What happened next came by so fast that both Dahyun and Chaeyoung didn’t have time to react or even put themselves in the middle of the two Unnies. Jihyo raised her hand seemingly to slap Mina across the face but of course Mina was faster. As Jihyo raised her left hand, Mina immediately gripped Jihyo’s wrist with her own left palm. Mina quickly raised her right hand as she gazed at Jihyo’s scared wide eyes and slapped her across the cheek making Jihyo gasp in shock and tremble in her place. Dahyun and Chaeyoung both gasped as they covered their mouths with their hands while watching as Jihyo placed her palm on her red cheek while looking at Mina with fear and guilt in her tearful eyes._

_Mina was breathing heavily. Mina didn’t know if Jihyo was going to slap her or just scare her but Mina was a different case, she can and she will raise a hand to Jihyo. Someone needed to knock some sense into that girl’s head. She knew that no one even reprimanded Jihyo when she cheated, no one out of the 4 friends that knew about it even said anything to Jihyo. Tzuyu didn’t even say anything to Jihyo that night aside from telling her to stop talking and running out of the apartment like it was on fire. So she’s been wanting to do that since a month ago when Tzuyu broke down in her arms sobbing but she was glad she could do it now. So Mina smiled threateningly at a quivering Jihyo as she stood straight._

_“Now get out.”_

Mina held her head high as she walked inside the lobby of the decent-sized building while reminiscing about her little secret from Tzuyu and was immediately greeted by a bored looking front desk associate who was busy tinkering with her phone. She scoffed as she thought about how Tzuyu would make this girl cry if she worked for them. “How can I help you?” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the girl’s uninterested tone and flashed her a small fake smile. “I have an appointment with Kang Daniel and Park Jihyo. Myoui Mina from Chou Incorporated.”

The associate checked her computer for the schedules of the day and eventually escorted Mina to the elevator up to the 4th floor where Daniel, Jihyo and her manager were already seated in the CEO’s small conference table that was in his office as well. The associate knocked on the door before sticking her head inside to inform her boss that the representative for the recent mobile brand proposal was here. The lady then opened the door wider to let Mina walk inside and as soon as she stepped inside, her eyes landed on Jihyo’s shocked wide eyes. She assumed the idol wasn’t aware what Corporation sent the offer which explained her current reaction.

Ignoring Jihyo, Mina walked assertively inside and shook hands with Daniel and who she assumed was Jihyo’s manager as they exchanged pleasantries before reaching her hand out to Jihyo. With a hesitant and shaky hand, Jihyo reached out to hold Mina’s strong hand in her own and shook hands with the girl. Mina stood her ground and smirked at Jihyo while gripping strongly at the idol’s quivering hand almost to the point of squeezing it hard to hurt the girl but of course she wouldn’t do that. Here.

“Thank you for meeting with us. Please have a seat.” Daniel motioned for Mina to take a seat and she did as she pulled some papers out of her briefcase and passed it to Daniel and the Manager. “To formally introduce myself, I am Myoui Mina the Marketing Executive of Chou Incorporation. The company has purchased a major mobile brand and as you know we are interested in making Jihyo one of our brand ambassadors. The commercial shoot and advertisements will be filmed as scheduled there in the paper I gave you. We will also be utilizing one of Jihyo’s songs during the commercial to further promote her mini album as well. Terms and conditions are also stated in the documents that are handed to you. I’d like to know if you had any concerns or requests from us.” Mina was confident as she went through all that she needed to say and internally smirked as she saw Jihyo still staring at her slack jawed. Maybe in shock to know that the person she cheated on was now her client. Jihyo, Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Sana and Momo all weren’t aware as to what Tzuyu has been up to this past 18 months. The night Tzuyu caught Jihyo was the night that she cut the 5 girls out of her life for good. No one knew about Tzuyu’s whereabouts. No one received replies from Tzuyu either.

So Mina understood Jihyo’s shock as she assumed the girl was slowly processing the indirect information Mina was giving her. The 5 of them weren’t aware that Tzuyu flew back to Taiwan, worked for her father, came back to South Korea and became the CEO of her own company branch. Of course they all didn’t know how much Tzuyu changed. Mina was sure that the moment she leaves this room, Jihyo would relay this new onslaught of information to the others but for now she was here for business purposes and maybe to watch Jihyo tremble in her presence for her own amusement. Daniel cleared his throat as he finished reading from the paper Mina handed him. “I think everything is clear from the information here. We’ll make sure to reach out if there’s anything that concerns us.” 

Mina smiled and nodded. “With that I think we’re done for today. Again, it’s our pleasure to work with your idol. I must get going.” Everyone stood up from their seats and shook Mina’s hand farewell. When it was time for Jihyo to bid her farewell, Mina smiled at her like she did a year ago with a glint in her eyes and an air of confidence in her steps. She gripped Jihyo’s still trembling hand in hers as she smirked at her.

“Park Jisoo, it’s a pleasure seeing you today.”


	5. CHAPTER V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is 'Eyes, Nose, Lips' by Taeyang.  
> If you havent read the lyrics for it please do! :)
> 
> Also please note that in this story they are all 3 years older.   
> So Tzuyu is 23.
> 
> I borrowed a line from Devil Wears Prada i thought it suited the scenario well. 
> 
> Thanks for reading guys!

Nayeon and the rest of the girls were enjoying their take-out inside Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s shared apartment. Momo and Sana lived in the apartment next door so they were basically always there while Jihyo lived in the apartment besides theirs. It was fortunate of them to be living right next to each other. Jihyo immediately rented the apartment next to Momo and Sana’s a few days after Tzuyu caught her. She didn’t want to stay in that apartment anymore and Daniel didn’t offer his place to her so she didn’t bother asking besides she figured a little space to herself was what she needed.

Momo was in the middle of chewing her precious jokbal when Jihyo walked inside silently still shocked as she slowly made her way in front of the girls and started narrating the events that transpired earlier that day. The four older girls were sitting on the couch just trying to absorb and make sense of all that Jihyo’s been frantically relaying and once she was done they all just sat there and stared at her like she’s grown an extra head. Jeongyeon, who had the most intact logic out of all of them decided to break the silence that suddenly engulfed her apartment as Jihyo took a seat on the couch beside Momo. “Okay let me get this straight. You saw Mina today who was now the Marketing Executive of Chou Inc. which is the company who gave you your first ever commercial contract deal. Chou Inc., I assume is Tzuyu’s family company but you’re not sure if Tzuyu’s working with her or if Mina’s just working for Tzuyu’s dad. She didn’t tell you anything else?”

Jihyo looked like she’s seen a ghost as she sat rigid in her seat. “Nothing. It was all so formal. Pure business.” Sana and Momo were still silent which was a rare occurrence but the mention of their fellow Japanese suddenly reappearing after cutting them off for more than a year just rendered them speechless. They missed her. They were a trio. A package deal. They came to South Korea together and it always hurt the two each day when they wake up and not see their Minari. “Give us your shooting schedules.” Momo shocked all of them as she spoke assertively.

“Momo I don’t think it’s a good idea to suddenly show up during a professional commercial shoot.” Nayeon spoke as she fiddled with her hands. She was anxious as well. It has been a year since they heard about Mina slapping some sense into Jihyo and then on the same day they were cut off as well. Blocked and deleted. Aside from Tzuyu, Nayeon always had a soft spot for Mina. She was her exact opposite. Nayeon could bounce off the walls and talk everyone’s ear off and Mina would just be sitting elegantly at the corner of the room with her soft spoken personality. If Jihyo wasn’t exaggerating when she said Mina talked to her like she was going to murder someone then Nayeon didn’t know if she had the courage to face the Japanese girl and have Mina break her heart by treating her the way she treated Jihyo. Not that she didn’t deserve it.

“I don’t care. She can slap me for all I care. I deserve it anyway.” Sana nodded in agreement beside Momo as they both eyed Jihyo who was anxiously biting her lip. “Please. We miss her so much. You won’t even notice that we’re there.” It was Sana who appealed to her this time and Jihyo couldn’t find it in her heart to deny them their wish to see Mina. She just prayed that Mina would at least give them the time of day.

Mina left her office at around quarter to 10PM in the evening. She made Chaeyoung and Tzuyu go ahead without her since she was busy setting everything up for the upcoming schedules and they had to pick up Dahyun from work. Mina set a list of songs to let them listen to since they need to pick one song for each idol to use during the commercial shoot and she needed their input especially Dahyun’s seeing as the girl was currently a music producer at JYP. She opened the door to her apartment and was met with absolute silence. She shook her head thinking what her 2 children and girlfriend were up to this time so she just went ahead and showered to change into much more comfortable clothes before making her way up to Tzuyu’s penthouse.

Mina opened the door to a total warzone. The living room was scattered with throw pillows and blankets as the trio sat on the floor in front of Tzuyu’s large television busy shouting and shoving each other while they played a rather intense game of Mario Kart. Leaving these three alone was like leaving children without any form of parental guidance but Mina couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. She’d rather see Tzuyu wreck her living room with Dahyun and Chaeyoung than seeing her downing a bottle of wine or in between a random girl’s legs. The thought of catching Tzuyu in the middle of sex still haunted her till this day and she shivered at the sudden flashback. The dark glint in Tzuyu’s eyes never failed to render her speechless and leave goose bumps on her arms.

The moment Chaeyoung attempted to shove Dahyun aside, Mina decided to intervene as she greeted the trio and sat on the couch behind them. Tzuyu took this as her cue to turn the game off causing the other two to groan and start cleaning up their mess before sitting beside Mina on the couch. The young CEO left for the kitchen and brought back multiple take-out boxes they ordered for dinner and set it on the coffee table in front of her friends. Dahyun scooted on the couch to make space for Tzuyu in between her and Mina.

As Chaeyoung was busy shoving chicken in her mouth, Mina pulled her phone out and looked at Tzuyu and Dahyun. “Okay so I’ve already talked to the idols and everything’s been set. Now we just need to go through their songs and pick one for each.” That piqued Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s interest but Tzuyu wasn’t all too fond to hear a certain idol’s songs. “I need a drink if we’re going to do this.” Tzuyu stood up and grabbed a glass from the kitchen, poured wine in it before coming back and plopping herself on the couch and leaning her body against Dahyun’s. Just like that, the Chewy that was playing Mario Kart like a child was gone and was replaced by Tzuyu the CEO. They started with Itzy and decided on using ‘Wannabe’. Chaeyoung and Dahyun were hard core Midzys and almost had a dance party but was cut off with Tzuyu’s uninterested gaze so they sat back down pouting. They didn’t have to think much for Stray Kids as they decided to use ‘Double Knot’. When it was time for Mina to play Jihyo’s song that topped the charts, Tzuyu sat up from her position against Dahyun as she just sighed at Mina. “Unnie please don’t make me do this. I’m really not in the headspace to listen to her songs.”

Mina looked at Tzuyu and really took time to look at her. She was as ethereal as always but the girl had bags and dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes which used to hold a youthful glow in them didn’t twinkle as they did before. As she thought about it, she’s never seen Tzuyu’s eyes sparkle ever since that ill-fated night. She was exhausted. Drained. Broken. She felt her heart sink as she thought about the agony Tzuyu’s been enduring. She was a naturally introverted girl, never one to voice out her thoughts or share her emotions thus keeping it bottled up inside which wasn’t a good trait to have in times like this. They really needed to convince her to seek professional help especially if she’s drowning herself in sex, alcohol and work each and every day. So she decided to take pity on the girl. She wasn’t a fan of the fact that sooner or later Tzuyu was going to have to face Jihyo but maybe her song would give the CEO some inner peace. She didn’t appreciate the artist but she appreciated the song. “Alright. I know you have a Spotify account if you ever decide to give it a listen. At least do it for work.”

A few minutes before midnight the four of them stood up as Tzuyu escorted her friends to her door. Dahyun and Chaeyoung wrapped their arms around Tzuyu as they bid her good night before exiting first. Mina watched her with her usual sympathetic eyes. The same look that Tzuyu despised when it was directed at her. It made her feel weak like how she felt before. Helpless. Like an abandoned little pup. Tzuyu detested when she felt like she was troubling her friends by being the feeble Chewy she was before leaving for Taiwan. “Hear me out. As much as I hate her for obvious reasons. I know for a fact that the song is directed to you. It’s worth listening to.” Tzuyu felt her chest ache again. She didn’t expect Jihyo to even write a song for or about her seeing as she replaced her for her current company’s CEO. Mina stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Tzuyu’s neck pulling the girl down to her height as she placed a motherly kiss on her forehead. “Good night Chewy” With that, Mina left Tzuyu to her own accord.

_“I want my first song as an Idol to be about you”_

_The Han River at night was definitely a sight to see especially with the one you love. The couple sat on the bench at the edge of the river just enjoying the breeze and the silence of the night. It was a week before Tzuyu’s college graduation and Jihyo couldn’t have been more proud. It was harder for Tzuyu seeing as she’s in a foreign country all alone without any family but she persevered and here she was now awaiting her graduation. Jihyo felt so much pride and love for her. She leaned her head to rest on Tzuyu’s shoulder as they intertwined their fingers together. “Why?”_

_Jihyo breathed deeply, enjoying the still of the night with her girlfriend. “Why not? I love you and I want the world to know just how much.” Jihyo lifted her head upwards and placed a kiss on Tzuyu’s jaw before resuming her position._

_“I’ll dedicate all my songs to you if I could.” Tzuyu smiled down at Jihyo before placing a gentle kiss on her temple. If it was possible she felt herself loving the older girl more._

_She loved her more than anything even if it meant staying in South Korea and struggling. She didn’t want Jihyo to worry so she didn’t tell her that her father wanted her to come home to Taiwan and work for their company. It didn’t take Tzuyu a minute to reject her father’s offer so in his disappointment, he let her stay in Korea but in the condition that Tzuyu wouldn’t be receiving any help from them financially. She accepted her father’s conditions with ease and in her heart she knew she’d rather struggle here as long as she had Jihyo’s hand to hold. Hearing Jihyo talk about writing a song for her made her heart swell. She knew then and there that she made the right choice. This is where she belongs. Right here in South Korea holding Jihyo in her arms. Being in each other’s arms was home and she’ll dedicate all her days in cherishing the home that they built. Living in comfort and prestige without her in Taiwan wasn’t worth it._

_Jihyo was worth it and with Jihyo she would stay._

Tzuyu downed her full glass of wine and made her way to the kitchen to fill it to the brim again before making her way towards her bedroom. The penthouse was engulfed in silence the moment her friends left and she was yet again bombarded with all the memories she has been trying to avoid. Her phone was sat on her night stand as she stared at it like it was a ticking time bomb and Mina’s words kept running through her head. Tzuyu sat up straight and hit her palm repeatedly on her chest in an attempt to dull the excruciating ache. She was exhausted spending every night with that pain in her chest to a point that it became physically exhausting to bear. Even after all these months, Jihyo still had this control on her and she hated it. She hated how she loved the thought of Jihyo writing a song about her. She hated how her heart fluttered at the thought of Jihyo fulfilling the promise she made years ago. Mostly, she hated knowing Jihyo didn’t care. About Tzuyu. About her pain. About hurting her. In the 18 months of separation, not once did Jihyo bother texting, calling or chatting her. It was always the 4 other Unnies asking her where she is or how she was doing but not once did she see a notification come from Jihyo herself. Now she discovers that she apparently made a song for her. For what? Sympathy? She was not going to let herself be controlled by someone who didn’t love her enough to be faithful. So she grabbed her phone and pulled up her Spotify account.

Searching Jihyo’s name, Tzuyu was met with only a handful of songs with one song garnering more streams than the others so she assumed this was the song that topped the charts. _‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’_. She took a deep breath and drank a generous amount of wine before pressing play and letting the music and its lyrics hit her. Jihyo’s sweet honey-like voice filled the room and flooded Tzuyu’s senses. She closed her eyes as she listened carefully to the song. This was the voice she would’ve never thought she’d hear again. The voice that angered her and made her weak all at the same time. The voice that broke her and controlled her till this day. She always knew Jihyo would compose heart felt songs. Songs that would leave anyone breathless. In a way, she was glad the girl finally reached her dreams of fame and stardom even if she had to break Tzuyu in the process. She was happy for her. She has everything she’s ever dreamed of. A career, a loving relationship and adoring fans. It was all that she talked about back when they were still in college.

Tzuyu smiled, despite the agony, despite the tears and despite all the ache. She smiled for her. She recalled how she did all she could to help the girl grasp her dreams all those months ago. Working two jobs, not having time for herself or Jihyo and not having time to be a young adult so that Jihyo could focus on gigs and singing. All she ever wanted was for Jihyo to be truly happy and now she is. She wiped the stream of tears falling down her face as she felt her chest ache. The song was filled with such mourning that it engulfed her senses and filled the room with such a heavy atmosphere she felt like suffocating. She hated that Jihyo sounded like she was hurting through the song and made it sound so raw that Tzuyu almost believed that Jihyo didn’t want her to leave. Jihyo made the record sound like she wanted Tzuyu to stay and that she loved her till this very day but the CEO knew that isn’t the case.

That evening, Tzuyu played ‘ _Eyes, Nose, Lips’_ on repeat and after months of avoidance, she let Jihyo’s voice lull her to sleep.

The next morning was absolute chaos for Chaeyoung, she was currently acting as Mina’s right hand woman during the first day of shooting. The company had a whole floor that was dedicated for promotional use. Chou Inc.’s skyscraper held 30 floors in total and the 20th floor was a large studio space that was filled with everything that they could need in order to film a commercial or a photo-shoot complete with dressing rooms, professional cameras, tripods, soft box lights, speedlights, monolights and the list goes on.

It was a rather amusing sight to see the company’s petite Chief Administrative Officer run around behind their Chief Brand Officer’s heels. Mina just liked to use ‘Marketing Executive’ since it was less intimidating but in reality she and Chaeyoung held superior positions in the company. Which is why no one dared to stand in Mina’s way as she checked every nook and cranny of the 20th floor making sure everything was all set since she currently had Itzy getting their hair and make-up done in the dressing room. Chaeyoung only agreed to be Mina’s assistant this early in the morning at 7AM on a Saturday just because she really wanted to see Itzy in person so here she was gripping a clipboard and checking everything on Mina’s list. The little cub didn’t plan to stick around long, she just planned to aid her girlfriend for the Itzy and Stray kids shoot and after that she would bolt out of the 20th floor.

The elevator door opened and everyone’s panic just doubled when they saw their dangerously attractive and petrifying CEO walk inside with her usual murderous gaze in place. Tzuyu was as sleek as always as she wore her Saint Laurent Montaigne Derby Shoes, black fitting slacks that accentuated her curves perfectly which ended above her ankles and a white long sleeved button down that was folded to her elbow and had the first 3 holes unbuttoned. Her hair was flowing down naturally as Tzuyu held her long dark grey overcoat in her right hand as she ran her left hand through her hair. Mina rose an eyebrow at the sight of a very stylish Tzuyu not that she wasn’t stylish on a daily but there was a different air surrounding the girl. She looked like a player right out of a movie and if they didn’t know any better they’d think that Tzuyu was the idol to be filmed. Chaeyoung being Chaeyoung just snickered at the sight of her best friend as she hollered at her from across the room. Tzuyu just glared at her best friend which made every single person in the room shiver except the couple that was openly snickering at her. They didn’t notice that Itzy was standing outside the dressing room since the elevator door opened. Lia, who was the eldest of the group had a particularly interested gaze set upon the CEO.

Tzuyu noticed the idol group staring at them and she walked towards them and bowed in greeting which was enthusiastically returned by the energetic young group. Chaeyoung and Mina both stood beside Tzuyu as the CEO introduced them one by one. The shoot was done flawlessly as they wrapped up for the day and bid farewell to the girls. Lia, took more time to say goodbye to Tzuyu than the others which made Mina raise her eyebrow. “I’m looking forward to our next shoot. Thank you for taking care of us, Daepyo-nim!” Lia bowed to Tzuyu as well as the girls behind her.

Chaeyoung just pouted when Itzy left and slumped on the stool beside Tzuyu’s as they watched the staff prepare for Stray Kids’ shoot. “You’re so mean. You should’ve let me interact with them. I’m the Midzy here!” Tzuyu just rolled her eyes and raised her hands in defeat. “Alright calm down I’ll let you handle them next time. So, what do you know about Lia?” Chaeyoung felt her eyes pop out of their sockets as she stared up at her smirking CEO. “Well she’s a year younger than you which makes her 22. I-I don’t know how to feel about you making a move on my babies.” Thankfully for Chaeyoung, Mina interrupted their conversation as she signalled for the shoot to start. Tzuyu stood up and joined Mina in overseeing the shoot with Chaeyoung following behind her.

Having Itzy and Stray Kids start the first shooting day was a good decision by Mina seeing as they filled the room with such young and contagious energy. The morning shoots wrapped up with little to no complications at all which eased Tzuyu’s mind. Last night she decided to not let the past control her present so she threw caution to the wind. She’d prefer it if she didn’t see Jihyo throughout the upcoming shoots but if she did then she’ll let it be. So she let Mina drag her to eat lunch with ease as they ate lunch leisurely while Chaeyoung kept gawking at the selfies she took with Itzy.

It was an hour and a half before the scheduled shoot for Jihyo as the trio made their way back into the building and up to the 20th floor. On the other hand, Nayeon, Jeonyeon, Momo and Sana were all sitting outside the dressing room where Jihyo was currently on the process of hair and make-up as they gazed at the large room full of bustling people who were in a hurry scurrying back and forth. They all knew Tzuyu’s family had a company back in Taiwan but they didn’t know they also had a new one in South Korea and that it was this grandiose and lavish. Everything around them seemed so expensive and polished they were scared to even touch anything. Especially since they just convinced Jihyo to take all of them with her and lie to the front desk associate that they were her glam team.

They didn’t notice the elevator open and Tzuyu stepped inside first followed by Mina and Chaeyoung who both flanked the girl on each side but they noticed the people suddenly panic as they all scrambled to set everything up faster. The four of them furrowed their brows as they watched people run around and gaze fearfully at the direction of the elevator.

“By all means move at a glacial pace. Not that time is of the essence or anything.”

_That_ voice. That was the voice that they haven’t heard for 18 months. But something was off, it wasn’t the same sweet and gentle voice they once knew. It was smooth but it had a harshness to it that they haven’t heard before as it spoke harsh words that made shivers run up their spine. It was familiar yet it wasn’t. So the four of them turned their gazes to the familiar voice that they’ve been missing for the past year and 6 months. What they saw wasn’t what they expected at all as they felt their eyes widen at what they were witnessing.

Chou Tzuyu stood in the middle of the room. No sweetness or innocence was radiating from her like before. No gentleness nor purity. It was replaced by an unfamiliar authoritative and mature aura as she held her head high and radiated a sense of power and a strong air of dominance. Her eyes weren’t the soft doe eyes they were familiar with. It was replaced by piercing sharp orbs. Orbs that didn’t sparkle like they did before but held a dark cold glint instead.

Her usually warm smile wasn’t present anymore as they saw her smirk in mischief when the employee scurried away from her apologizing for her incompetence. She wasn’t wearing colourful loose comfortable clothes like she did before and was replaced by something so stylish that made her look like a model straight out of a magazine cover with the whole corporate look. Black slacks that reached above her ankle, white button down with sleeves rolled to her elbows, the three top buttons undone and expensive Saint Laurent Derby Shoes with a long dark grey overcoat held in her right hand. 18 months ago, their Chewy can only be described as adorably cute but now Chou Tzuyu stood in front of them looking hot as all hell.

It took them a couple of minutes to absorb what they were currently seeing and they finally looked at the two people flanking both sides of Chou Tzuyu. Son Chaeyoung and Myoui Mina stood there with their corporate attires as well with the same powerful aura that Tzuyu was radiating but less intense. Mina with her ever so elegant style now elevated as she wore expensive yet sophisticated clothing as she was now sporting blonde hair and Chaeyoung looking edgy yet powerful with her leather jacket over her black top and high waisted pants. Mina was the one who noticed them first and she tried to not show her surprise when she exchanged glances with a shocked Sana and Momo. She stood her ground and held her head higher. She was not going to show them that she was shocked by their presence as well. Noticing her girlfriend’s posture, Chaeyoung furrowed her eyebrows and gazed in the direction Mina was focused on. She breathed deeply through her nose as she understood why Mina suddenly seemed uptight but she followed the girl’s lead as she gazed coldly at a shocked Nayeon and Jeongyeon who were gaping at them. A trembling employee made his way in front of Tzuyu as the CEO and the couple eyed him, Mina and Chaeyoung both thankful for the distraction.

“Daepyo-nim, the idol is currently in hair and make-up. The set is already in place and ready to shoot as soon as she gets out of the room.”

Tzuyu just nodded coldly at him and watched him scurry his way out of her line of sight. Mina and Chaeyoung on the other hand internally smirked when they saw the 4 girls’ wide eyes and slacked jaws in the corner of their eyes. They almost forgot that the 4 of them had no clue that Tzuyu was the CEO and running her own company now.

Tzuyu heard multiple silent gasps at the other corner of the room and she turned her head to the source of it and locked gazes with Nayeon first before roaming her cold eyes to exchange glances with the four shocked girls. She looked at each and every one of them in the eye and calmly kept her face neutral. She was shocked for sure but now that she’s seen them after so long she didn’t feel as scared or as angry as she anticipated. She felt nothing. Which shocked her. She didn’t feel anything as if they were nothing to her. So Tzuyu looked at their faces, gazed into their remorseful guilt-ridden eyes and saw the longing in each and every one of them. Sadly, she didn’t return the same sentiments anymore as she gazed at them blankly.

Fear. That was the first thing they felt as they each locked gazes with Tzuyu. They searched for the softness in her eyes that they yearned to see after so long and found nothing. They searched for sadness. But found nothing. They searched for longing. But again they were met with nothing but an uninterested blank stare. It was like Tzuyu didn’t recognize them. Like she didn’t know who they were. This was worse than Tzuyu gazing at them with pure unadulterated resentment. Tzuyu gazed at them like they meant nothing. No emotions. No value. Nothing.

In that moment Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo and Sana knew that this wasn’t their Chewy anymore.


	6. CHAPTER VI

Tzuyu held Nayeon’s gaze longer than the others. It gave her an odd sense of pleasure to see how the eldest girl shrunk under her gaze. Sana who sat beside her couldn’t take it anymore, despite Momo gripping her arm to keep her seated she stood up and took careful steps towards Tzuyu as she stood in front of the CEO who looked at her like she was a stranger. She smiled hesitantly up at the girl hoping to see her smile back at her. She wanted Tzuyu to wrap her arms around her like she would do before. She longed for the girl to nuzzle her temple like she did back when she felt a little down. She missed her voice that always tried to express her love through sarcastic replies. She wished for her to press their foreheads together like Tzuyu used to do.

_“Sana Unnie look! My mother sent me a video of Gucci. Isn’t he cute?”_

_Sana was in the middle of cooking them ramen on a Sunday morning as Tzuyu decided to sleep over at her shared apartment with Momo and Mina last night as the younger girl shyly talked about her growing crush on Jihyo. She was touched that Tzuyu chose to share that with them first out of all the girls. It was the summer before sophomore year in college and they were all just enjoying the down time before they were thrown into the cascade of books and deadlines. When the ramen was done cooking Sana turned the heat off and made her way to sit on the couch beside the younger girl who eagerly played the video of Gucci. It was early in the morning and Momo was still snoring beside a silently slumbering Mina in their room so Sana and Tzuyu still had time to kill before they woke up._

_She giggled at the sight of Tzuyu’s sparkling eyes and cute little dimple as they watched more videos of her puppy in Taiwan. Tzuyu laughing so loudly was a rare sight to see so Sana was just enjoying this moment and hoped that the younger girl would laugh more often. The world needed to hear the miracle that is Tzuyu’s laughter. Sana loved that Tzuyu was comfortable enough around her now to be this carefree and wished she could bottle this moment up. Her eyes softened at the sight of her young friend smiling longingly at the video._

_The sun was starting to rise slowly which casted a warm glow on her young innocent face as Sana felt her heart swell for the girl. She was still so young to be separated from her family and in a foreign country as well. Sana was away from home too but at least she had Momo and Mina. Tzuyu didn’t have anyone with her yet here she was facing each and every day with a brave heart. It was in that moment that Sana decided in herself to fully take Tzuyu into her care and treat her as family. Tzuyu smiled as she placed her phone down on the coffee table before fiddling with the sleeve of her hoodie._

_“Missing home, Chewy-yah?”_

_Tzuyu just nodded but still couldn’t lift her head up to look Sana in the eye. Every now and then she would get terribly homesick and she didn’t know where to run or what to do when it overwhelms her. Sana being naturally affectionate, she gathered Tzuyu’s slim frame and gently rocked the girl in her arms as she nuzzled her temple._

_“I know it’s not the same but you can always treat this place as your home too. Your Mina, Momo and Sana Unnie will always be here for you from now on. Is that okay?”_

_The small apartment was engulfed in serene stillness as the night came to an end with the sun rising outside. Sana stilled as well from rocking Tzuyu in her arms as she stayed still and buried her nose into the younger girl’s hair. She didn’t receive a response from the motionless body and Sana assumed the girl fell back to sleep so she tightened her arms around the girl as she leant back into the couch so that they could be comfortable. A few moments later, Sana felt drowsy as she let the tranquil air of the morning engulf her but the moment she was about to close her eyes, Tzuyu gently separated her body from Sana’s as she stared at her Unnie with her wide innocent puppy-like eyes._

_“Unnie, do you know how I tell Gucci that I love him?”_

_Sana furrowed her eyebrows at the girl’s random question. She thought Tzuyu was sleeping but apparently not. She was about to tell the girl to continue but she didn’t have to when Tzuyu gently pressed their foreheads together and locked gazes with her. Sana felt her brain short-circuit as she stared into Tzuyu’s eyes questioningly but she didn’t move an inch as she let Tzuyu do whatever she was doing._

_“I press my forehead onto his like this and I look into his eyes. I look into his eyes and think really hard of how much I love him hoping that maybe it could transfer from my head to his.”_

_It was actually ridiculously funny and sweet at the same time and Sana couldn’t help but return Tzuyu’s caring gaze with her own as she felt Tzuyu press her forehead onto hers with a little more pressure. Sana couldn’t help but smile at the sweet girl in front of her and was pleasantly surprised that Tzuyu returned it with a small smile of her own before separating from her._

_“I don’t know if I should be offended that you said I love you to me for the first the same way you do it to a dog but I’ll take it.”_

_Tzuyu threw her head back laughing at the fake offended tone Sana gave her. Sana watched her again, savouring Tzuyu’s lovely laughter as she saw how the girl’s eyes got smaller and her dimple started to show again. Sana pushed Tzuyu’s shoulder playfully as she pouted at her. Sana placed her hands on Tzuyu’s neck to keep the girl still as she pressed her forehead onto Tzuyu’s making the younger girl hold back her laughter and stare at Sana’s amused orbs._

_“I love you too my little dongsaeng puppy”_

Tzuyu just raised her right brow at Sana and that tore Sana apart. Her heart sunk as she was met with blank eyes from the shell of the girl who used to be her sweet Chewy. Sana’s knees felt weak and tears threatened to drop from her eyes but she tried to keep them at bay at least for now.

With their gazes still locked Sana stood on her toes and pressed her forehead onto Tzuyu’s as she cupped the CEO’s neck to keep her steady. So Sana closed her eyes and thought hard about how much she missed and loved her little sister. Maybe just maybe it would pass on from her mind to Tzuyu’s like how they did this multiple times in the past. _Don’t you remember, Tzuyu-yah?_

Tzuyu didn’t move, she didn’t return the same longing gaze nor did she wrap her arms around Sana’s waist like she would do before but she didn’t push her away either. She knew what Sana was doing because that was what Tzuyu did to show her affection before. She just stood still but the moment she felt Sana’s hands tremble against her neck, Tzuyu lifted her arms and wrapped her hands around both of Sana’s wrist as she pulled the girl’s hands off of her. Sana felt a lone tear falling from her eye followed by multiple droplets but Tzuyu didn’t even blink, she just stared down at the silently crying girl.

With an uninterested glance, Tzuyu lifted her chin up to just stare straight ahead as she walked past Sana towards the stools set up at the technical deck. Sana chocked back a sob as Tzuyu nonchalantly walked past her as if nothing happened. She then locked gazes with an unimpressed Mina that currently had her arms crossed in front of her just watching the scene unfold impatiently. Just like Tzuyu, Mina walked past her with Chaeyoung following behind as they took their seats beside Tzuyu.

Sana didn’t know how long she stood there on the spot unmoving but she didn’t care. She didn’t have any idea what happened around her the moment she decided to walk up to Tzuyu so she didn’t see Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Momo’s equally tearful and shocked eyes as they watched everything with a heavy heart. It took them a while to shake themselves out of the shock at what they’ve just seen so when Momo felt her senses come back to her she immediately stood up and made her way to a still quivering Sana and gently guided the girl back to their seats. Nayeon immediately wrapped her arms around Sana as she let the girl break down completely.

They were lucky that Mina ordered the staff to get ready so the whole room was engulfed in darkness except the shooting set. Everything aside from the set was submerged in darkness giving Sana some privacy as she let herself break down in Nayeon’s arms. Meanwhile, Tzuyu sat on her stool behind the director and was flanked with Mina and Chaeyoung on either side of her. Mina set the stage exactly to look like it was the set of Weekly Idol with pure white floors and backdrops only for their commercial shoot the set was light grey. They decided to have a uniformed set all throughout the shoots for the advertisements to make it follow the branding style.

The light from the set shone against their faces and Mina glanced at Tzuyu. She expected her to at least shed a tear or maybe just frown a little but she was met with absolute nothing. On the other side of the CEO, Mina met Chaeyoung’s equally curious eyes as they both looked at Tzuyu. They didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing that Tzuyu wasn’t bawling her eyes out or even a bit concerned about what happened with Sana. So Chaeyoung just placed her lightly quivering hand on Tzuyu’s thigh. Mina took Tzuyu’s hand and intertwined their fingers. They weren’t concerned about doing this since the room was dark so Mina just let their joint hands rest on her lap and Chaeyoung didn’t remove her hand from Tzuyu’s thigh.

Tzuyu wasn’t the person who needed comfort as she felt Chaeyoung and Mina’s hand tremble. The CEO placed a firm comforting hand on Chaeyoung’s and rubbed her thumb on Mina’s hand that was intertwined with hers. She knew they cut off the 5 girls a month after she left for Taiwan but she didn’t know what triggered it and that wasn’t an easy thing to do. Tzuyu’s heart went out for her friends as she was yet again reminded that she wasn’t the only one who was broken. She knew for a fact that Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung were just acting strong for her sake. Mina cut off her sisters for Tzuyu and now Momo and Sana were here again. Dahyun and Chaeyoung cut off their no-jam bro and all their Unnies. They haven’t called the 5 girls Unnies for a year as Dahyun and Chaeyoung didn’t think they deserved that title. They’ve lost all respect for them all those months ago and betrayal was not something they could tolerate especially came from those closest to their heart. They cut them off because they did something gravely flawed and not just because of Tzuyu.

The shoot was about to start and the floor director called for Jihyo to come on set. Jihyo came out of the dressing room and immediately found her friends sat outside unmoving like they just saw a ghost. They probably saw Mina since she heard the girl was in charge of the shoot. Jihyo expected this reaction from them since that’s how she reacted when she saw the Japanese girl. Before she could talk to her friends, she was whisked away towards the set. She couldn’t see much behind the blinding set lights so she had to adjust her eyesight before finding the director’s eyes and following his instructions and the shoot began. It wasn’t the advertisement yet since that will be filmed for the following schedules so this is a photo-shoot with the product to be marketed.

Tzuyu went rigid in her seat. She was thankful for the dark lights that engulfed the room for it hid her from Jihyo’s sight. Suddenly the room felt claustrophobic for the CEO as she felt her heart race and her breathing become ragged. She felt everything. She felt the pain she endured. She felt the love she wasted. She felt the agony she’s suppressing. She felt it all settle in her body and she wanted nothing more than to down a glass of whiskey but she was rooted on the spot with Chaeyoung’s comforting hand on her thigh and Mina’s calming hand in hers. So for her friends, Tzuyu remained strong. Chewy was long gone and she will never be that girl again so the CEO took deep calming breathes to settle her emotions as she watched her ex-girlfriend talk to the photographer. The room was engulfed in a palpable tension and the 8 of them felt it.

Mina felt Tzuyu’s thumb stop caressing her hand so she gazed at her friend to see her hard gaze settle on Jihyo. Because of the light illuminating her face, Mina could see Tzuyu’s eyes glimmer in unshed tears as she watched the girl take a deep breath before composing her stance to remain indifferent. Chaeyoung was also stiff beside Tzuyu but unlike Tzuyu’s hurt gaze, Chaeyoung’s gaze was more repulsed and resentful as she stared at Jihyo who was posing for the camera. Mina was greatly concerned for when the shoot ends. She didn’t know if she should hold Chaeyoung back from the possibility of her confronting Jihyo not that Jihyo didn’t deserve it but she didn’t want her girlfriend to seem unprofessional in their own company. For once, Jihyo wasn’t the biggest concern as Mina turned her head and adjusted her eyes to the darkness and still saw the 4 girls sit there and watch Jihyo’s shoot. She hated how the tension in the room seemed to suffocate her.

Handling Jihyo was easy for Mina but handling the 5 of them all together was harder when it was added with the fear of Chaeyoung bursting in anger. Tzuyu wasn’t an issue since it seemed like the CEO prepared herself for this occurrence. Tzuyu seemed to be handling herself well as of the moment as she wore her CEO mask intact even in the darkness of the studio. The CEO’s earlier shock now washed-out. The Chewy she knew 18 months ago would’ve ran out of the studio and fall on her knees sobbing in pain. She felt a sense of pride for Tzuyu and Mina pulled strength from her as she followed the CEO’s lead and went back into her professional mind-set.

Giving Tzuyu’s hand a squeeze, she stood up and went beside the photographer as he checked the shots he took of the idol. Mina ignored Jihyo’s flustered face as she commented on the photos taken and how their product was incorporated into the shot. She internally scoffed at the idol for getting flustered even when she knew full well that Mina was the Head of the whole advertisement campaign. So all throughout the shoot Mina was beside the photographer and would once in a while give Jihyo instructions and suggestions which the idol obediently followed.

The shoot ended faultlessly with Mina overseeing the whole thing. The lights turned on for the whole studio, the spotlights on her turned off and Jihyo had to adjust her sight for a moment. The moment she did, she saw the one person she’s been thinking of for the past 18 months standing with a dominant power around her. Jihyo was just watching as Tzuyu talked to the photographer and the director, the younger girl seemed so different but she couldn’t put a finger on it. Aside from Tzuyu’s change in outfit style as she looked more mature and stylish in her corporate attire, her face was a lot more accentuated now that the baby fat has shred off her. Jihyo noticed that the girl’s jaw was much more pronounced, her nose was even sharper than before, her cheekbones were perfect, her eyebrows looked flawless. She stood there for a lot longer even though she noticed the staff starting to tidy the studio. Jihyo didn’t trust herself to walk just yet since she felt her knees weaken at the sight of the younger girl in front of her.

It made her heart constrict when she saw Tzuyu smile at whatever Mina told her. She didn’t know why but she felt blood rush to her face as she saw the Japanese girl smile back up at Tzuyu and hold her hand in hers. She took a deep breath as Mina’s words a little over a year ago hit her again now even more wounding than before.

_“How does it feel? Knowing that she ran into my arms rather than yours?”_

The director of the shoot gestured his towards Jihyo’s direction probably since he noticed that the CEO hasn’t even bothered to greet the idol like she did with Itzy and Stray Kids earlier. The moment Tzuyu turned her gaze towards Jihyo her breathe caught in her throat as the girl locked gazes with her after so long. She never thought she’d see Tzuyu here after so long and she was rooted on her spot as Tzuyu walked towards her with Mina and Chaeyoung on both her sides and the Director walking in front of the three. Tzuyu stopped a foot away from Jihyo and the Director who stood in between them proceeded introduced the idol to her unaware that the two knew each other very well.

“Jihyo-ssi let me introduce you to the President of Chou Incorporation, Daepyo-nim Chou Tzuyu. The company’s Chief Administrative Officer, Son Chaeyoung and our Chief Brand Officer who I believe you already met, Myoui Mina.”

Jihyo froze. She wasn’t sure if she heard it right. President of Chou Incorporation.

That explained the air of power surrounding the girl and the way the staff seemed to tremble when she passes by. It was such a huge contrast from the Tzuyu before that radiated a sense of calmness and made everyone smile by just staring at her innocent face. Now she seemed untouchable, like no one had the right to even stand a foot close to her aside from Mina and Chaeyoung. Tzuyu locked gazes with Jihyo as she assertively held her hand out for the older girl to take. If people knew their situation it would’ve been pathetic to see Jihyo seem like a scared little chick as she stood in front of a confident Tzuyu when months ago it was the complete opposite.

With a visibly quivering hand, Jihyo took Tzuyu’s strong hand as the CEO shook it firmly between them. Jihyo bowed deeply in respect at Tzuyu and the CEO dipped her head lightly in return still with an air of dominance surrounding her. Nothing prepared her for this. She prepared herself for shouting, crying, and maybe physical pain from slapping but she wasn’t prepared to one day look into Tzuyu’s eyes and not see the love that used to radiate from the younger girl’s puppy-like orbs. This hurt her more than anything. This hurt more than the night Tzuyu ran out of their apartment. It hurt more than Mina slapping her a year ago. It hurt more than the anniversary day a couple of weeks ago without Tzuyu by her side. It hurt and she didn’t know how to handle it. She didn’t prepare herself for the day when Tzuyu’s love wasn’t available for her to once again obtain. Instead Jihyo was met with blank dull orbs that didn’t sparkle like it did before but instead had a dark glint that made shivers run up her body.

Tzuyu retracted her hand from Jihyo as she stared at her blankly. Jihyo tried to compose herself for the time being as the Director was still watching them so Jihyo turned her body to face Chaeyoung. The young girl had her arms crossed in front of her as she stared at Jihyo with an unimpressed look. The idol held her hand out for formality and because she dearly missed Chaeyoung as well. Chaeyoung stared dryly at Jihyo’s hand. She didn’t bother taking it. She just stared at the offered palm and stared back into Jihyo’s guilty eyes before scoffing lightly.

If the Director was confused, he didn’t let it be noticed so he just bowed to excuse himself from the situation. Mina was standing beside Tzuyu with a visibly large smirk on her face to spite Jihyo. She wanted to pat Tzuyu’s head in pride as she watched the CEO handle herself graciously in front of Jihyo but she decided to do it later. She smirked even wider when she saw how Chaeyoung responded to Jihyo’s offered hand.

Jihyo dropped her hand like it was burnt as she stared at the trio in front of her. Fortunately for Jihyo, Tzuyu’s secretary timidly cut the tension between them. “Daepyo-nim, sorry to interrupt but the investors just arrived and are now on the way to the conference room.” Tzuyu didn’t bother to look at the secretary but she nodded lightly as she stared at Jihyo with the same uninterested look in her eyes.

“You did well today, Miss Park. Till the next shoot.”

_Miss Park._

With that Tzuyu tore her gaze away from a hurting Jihyo but before she could turn to leave, Tzuyu faced Mina who stood smugly beside her. The CEO wanted to leave but she didn’t want to leave Mina here alone with the 5 girls so she looked at her Unnie in concern and silently asked her if it was alright. Chaeyoung was confident that her girlfriend can handle being here alone so she didn’t ask her anymore so she stepped away from the two as she waited for Tzuyu.

The Japanese girl just smiled softly at her concerned CEO to ease her.

Jihyo just stood there a foot away from the two in silence. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Sana, and Momo who watched everything in their seats as soon as the lights turned on in the studio were all watching in unease seeing Jihyo quiver in front of the three. Their envy sky rocketed as they saw Mina raise her hands softly as Tzuyu willingly bent down slightly to let Mina cup her neck in ease as the Japanese girl placed a comforting kiss on Tzuyu’s forehead. Chaeyoung watched smugly as she knew the 5 girls were probably envious of this display so she just enjoyed the show since she knew what her girlfriend was doing. It amused Chaeyoung to see Tzuyu just obediently follow Mina’s league.

Mina on the other hand genuinely wanted to comfort the CEO, it was just an added bonus that the 5 girls were reduced to feeling envious and even guiltier. Jihyo took a big deep breathe as she clenched her fists at the sight of Mina pecking Tzuyu’s forehead. Mina was really living up to her words from a year ago before she slapped her cheek and she couldn’t do anything but watch as her ex-girlfriend willingly let someone else kiss her forehead.

Tzuyu held her chin high as she walked towards the elevator with Chaeyoung by her side and left the studio. The 4 girls sat there watching as they expected Chaeyoung to at least look at them like how she looked at Jihyo but the two didn’t even give them the time of day. Jihyo followed Tzuyu with her eyes as she watched her walk away yet again like how she did before. 18 months ago, Jihyo could still recall how broken Tzuyu looked as she ran away from their apartment sobbing and crushed. 18 months later, Tzuyu turned her back to Jihyo once again but now with her head held high as the powerful CEO of her own successful company.

When the elevator closed, Jihyo sighed and turned her body to face Mina who still stood smugly in front of her.


	7. CHAPTER VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Eyes, Nose, Lips' by Taeyang

“As the President said, you did well today, Miss Park. We will see you on your next schedule.”

Mina saw the confusion and pain in Jihyo’s eyes but she didn’t let it affect her instead she stood there with an air of professionalism since after all she was still technically at work. She heard multiple footsteps come near them and she knew the four girls were about to corner her. So when she saw them take their places around Jihyo albeit still looking like kicked puppies, she knew she needed to leave or else things weren’t going to go well. Mina extended her hand out for Jihyo and the idol took it again with a quivering hand as Mina shook it between them before dropping her hand to her side. She was about to turn around and leave to talk to the staff who were about to go as well but she was stopped by Jihyo’s silent almost shuddering whisper.

“Mina-yah, what happened to her?”

Mina stopped with her back facing them as she took a deep slow breath. She really wanted to just walk away and let this day be over but she heard how broken Jihyo’s voice sounded so despite her blatant aversion of the girl, Mina wasn’t heartless. So with a heavy sigh she turned around and was met with five pairs of remorseful eyes. She looked into Jihyo’s eyes exasperatedly. Mina couldn’t deny that she pitied all of them though she wouldn’t let them know how broken Tzuyu is. They didn’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing that even after all this time they still had a huge impact on the CEO. 

“The morning after she caught you cheating and found out the four of you lied to her face, she flew to Taiwan to work for her father. Lived there for a year. Came back here 6 months ago as the CEO of her own company.”

If they were shocked earlier, they were even more surprised to know that Tzuyu left for a year without them knowing. Their shock was followed by concern as they thought about how Tzuyu took care of herself alone since the 8 of them were always there for the younger girl to turn to. Did she sleep okay? Did she eat properly? Did she hydrate enough? Who did she hang out with? That just added to their guilt knowing that the girl couldn’t even take being in the same country as them.

“So, if you’ll excuse me. I have business to attend to. Enjoy your day ladies.”

Mina turned around and saw that the staff all left. She was last to leave which didn’t please her. If Tzuyu got saved by her secretary then why couldn’t someone call for her attention too? Luck just wasn’t on her side today. The weight of her thoughts hit her exponentially when a strong grip turned her back around and she was met with a remorseful Momo.

“Mitang, it’s been more than a year. Can you please stop acting like this? Yes, Jihyo cheated on Tzuyu but that’s their dispute isn’t it? Why do you need to treat your sisters like this as well? We lied to Tzuyu, not you. You weren’t the one who got cheated on either.”

Mina couldn’t believe her ears. She somewhat assumed they were all dense but this was a whole nother level of dense. _Sisters_. What a fucking joke. She was holding herself back throughout the shoot because she knew Tzuyu and Chaeyoung needed to be watched over more than her so she tried to remain calm but this was not something she can let past. It was like talking to the self-absorbed Jihyo a year ago and that just made her blood boil. As to not alert anyone if ever there were staff left in the studio, Mina stepped closer to Momo and dropped her voice down threateningly.

“ _Sisters?_ That’s rich coming from you. As far as I know, sisters don’t lie to each other or help someone crush their heart. All of you didn’t just lie to Tzuyu. You lied to me, Chaeyoung and Dahyun. You comforted Tzuyu when she poured her heart out about her difficulties with Jihyo and told her it was all going to be all right when in reality you knew all too well that your precious Jihyo was busy humping another man and if that wasn’t enough, you four apparently helped her go on dates with the guy. Do sisters do that? I don’t think so.”

Momo just stared at her with guilt in her eyes but she was taken aback at the way Mina talked to her. Her tone. Her stance. Her eyes. Mina never spoke to Momo like this and she didn’t like it one bit. The other four girls were silently watching and listening to every word they exchanged as they felt Momo’s anger rise with each truthfully painful word Mina uttered. She didn’t take criticism very well. They all knew how short tempered Momo is and can say things she doesn’t mean due to her rising emotions so they hoped Momo can compose herself before that happens knowing that this was her first time talking to Mina after more than a year apart. They didn’t want to give Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu more reasons to not forgive them.

“Frankly, I don’t know why you’re so hung up on shielding Tzuyu. Clearly, she’s stronger now and doesn’t need you treating her like she’s going to break any second.”

Nayeon wanted to pull Momo’s hair back, Sana just face palmed behind her, Jeongyeon was on the verge of pulling her own hair in disbelief, Momo wanted to slap herself and Jihyo just felt her stomach drop as they heard Momo burst in irritation. Momo could’ve handled that a lot better. Mina, on the other hand, was absolutely fuming. She was so thankful that Tzuyu and Chaeyoung left because they didn’t want them to see her like this. She clenched her fists and roamed her eyes around the 5 girls in front of her. Yes, she missed them dearly. God knows how much she does and how many nights she spent wrapped up in Chaeyoung’s arms crying. She missed the times when they were all just college kids with doe eyes waiting to see what was in store for them in the real world.

Mina appreciated hearing them remorseful and wanting to rekindle their friendship desperately if Sana’s earlier try with Tzuyu wasn’t obvious enough. But she wasn’t going to rekindle a dead bond if they still regarded the situation in such a dense outlook. It was more than just someone cheating on their girlfriend. It had more factors than that and if they didn’t understand that after more than a year then she was going to make them understand. Hopefully, no other employees were in the studio to hear.

“Hung up? Excuse me for caring about the person you blatantly betrayed. Yes, Tzuyu is stronger now but all of you weren’t there to see her crumble. Neither one of you here saw or heard anything. Excuse me for standing strong beside my _sister_ when all of you left her to fend for herself. You didn’t know how it felt when she gripped her chest in pain wailing and begging us to help her stop the ache when all we could do was wrap her in our arms and just watched and listened to her gut wrenching cries asking us why her Unnies abandoned her like that. Asking us how all of you lied to her like you did. Asking us why her love betrayed her. Asking if she wasn’t good enough. You didn’t see her break into pieces and try to reassemble herself only to fail a million times before giving up on even trying. You didn’t hear her when she called every night from Taiwan just to sob in agony. You weren’t there to see her come back here in Korea as an entirely different person. Trust me when I say that you haven’t seen the full extent of the Chou Tzuyu who came back from Taiwan. You killed her spirit. You don’t get to say shit like that because after you stabbed her in the back and left, I was the one who had to helplessly watch her die.”

Mina roamed her eyes to each and every single one of the girls in front of her and saw them tear up as she felt her own eyes well up in unshed tears. She couldn’t stop. She has held this for a year and now more than ever did they need to hear what they’ve been denying to admit to themselves.

“It’s more than just Jihyo cheating. She didn’t just lose her girlfriend. She lost her five Unnies. She lost a sense of home. She realized that she never really had Unnies in all five of you. That you didn’t care for her like all of you swore you did. She gave up too much so she could stay home here with you. God, I can’t even tell you what she gave up. So if you all want to rekindle your friendship with us and Tzuyu then it would take more than just showing up and simply saying you want to make up.”

Mina watched them silently cry as she felt her own tears threaten to stream down her face. Nayeon was gripping Jeongyeon’s arm in support as the girl rubbed Jihyo’s back in comfort. The idol was trembling as all of them absorbed Mina’s words. Sana pulled Momo’s arm back and held onto Momo’s hand for comfort as the two Japanese girls looked longingly at Mina.

Mina was exhausted, she wasn’t much of a talker and she didn’t like confrontation as it drained her energy but this was worth it as she saw their eyes glisten in realization and enlightenment. As the eldest, Nayeon decided to step forward after a few minutes despite tears silently falling from her eyes as she stepped closer to Mina.

“I know it’s too late and that you don’t want to hear this right now but we are all so sorry for everything. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it was for all of you to go through what you did and it pains me to know that we were the reason you had to endure such pain especially Tzuyu. We went here today to ask for forgiveness although we didn’t start in a good tone, I hope you find it in your heart to consider accepting our apology. I know we’re in no position to fix Jihyo and Tzuyu but we can fix our friendship instead. Please let us make it up to the four of you. We miss all of you.”

Mina was too tired to even respond and frankly she was too drained to do anything. So she just sighed deeply and looked into Nayeon’s remorseful eyes. It was genuine. That she was sure of. So instead of talking she just nodded slightly causing Nayeon to breathe in relief. The five girls knew it wouldn’t be easy nor would it be fast to make the younger girls forgive them but they were willing to work for it.

“Let me make it clear. This doesn’t include you, Park Jisoo.”

With that Mina took her leave and left the girls in the studio.

Regret. That was all that overwhelmed and all that consumed her thoughts. She regretted it the moment Tzuyu ran out of their apartment all those months ago but now it hit her harder. Jihyo was currently in Momo and Sana’s apartment with the two Japanese girls fixing dinner for the five of them and Jihyo looked around the room. She didn’t just ruin her relationship. She ruined friendships. She ruined the home that the nine of them found in each other. All because she felt lonely and wanted some attention so she searched for it in another man’s arms.

Regret. That was all she knew for the past months. At first it was nice. The sex. The connections. His company. His money. His affection. The night life and the drinking. At first it was nice. Then after the first few months everything died down. He didn’t make love to her like _she_ did. He never did. He fucked her. For pleasure. He spent on her for his own gain. She was his idol. His money-maker. He made her beg for his attention like what Jihyo did to _her_. The night life with him wasn’t calm like it was with _her_. It was chaotic. They had a lot of fun. That was all it was. Fun. She wasted everything for simple fun.

Regret. That was all she could write about. All she could sing about. Daniel didn’t even ask her why her songs were all about breakups and longing. Guess he didn’t care enough for that. It didn’t matter as long as she sells albums. So she wrote. She’d sing. Hoping her voice could carry her regret to her. Wherever she may be. Maybe she’d hear her song. Would she listen?

_It was a cold silent night. It helped her think. Being alone in an apartment does that. So she’s been writing and singing the entire evening that she didn’t notice the sun was rising to start another day. Jihyo loved the feeling of being awake when all the world was sleeping. Time slows. Silence engulfs and wraps around her. The streets empty. The sun sets as the moon takes its place. The chaos of the day halting to resume in the morning. Her creativity seemed to adapt better in the dead of night._

_So here she was sat in front her small desk illuminated by her trusty lamp, hunched over the journal she’s been using for the past 5 months. It was her lyric journal that held sentimental value. She wrote all her songs in it. Poured all her thoughts into. Most importantly it was a gift from Tzuyu. Tzuyu who she hasn’t seen in 5 months ever since she ran away from their apartment and out of her life._

_Ironic. She thought leaving Tzuyu for Daniel would be better for her career and better for the both of them. But here she was. Writing a song for Tzuyu in the journal she gave her all those months ago. Her mini album songs seemingly dedicated to the girl. She remembered the night they spent beside each other in front of the Han River. She remembered the tranquil air of the evening as they held each other in the cold dark night. She remembered how Tzuyu kissed her temple. She remembered what she told her all those months ago._

_“I want my first song as an idol to be about you.”_

_Here she was fulfilling that._

_A few hours later, Jihyo sat on the floor in front of Sana in their shared apartment with Momo as the two women sat on their couch in front of her. Both still a little drowsy seeing as it was still 8 in the morning on a Sunday._

_She was clutching her worn out journal to her chest as she smiled excitedly at her friends. She’s been up all night finishing up the melody and the lyrics of her song. Finally, after 5 months of being in KD Entertainment she was going to be releasing a mini album. She was informed that the budget on the production wasn’t going to be that big but she wasn’t complaining seeing as the company was just starting up and her ‘boyfriend’ wasn’t really focusing on the artists in his company as he was also busy shooting multiple music videos for his own album release. But as long as Jihyo can release music then that was fine with her. Only one song in her mini album will have a music video and she wanted it to be this particular song._

_“I’ve been writing this for 5 months. Before I record it I really want you guys to tell me if you like it.”_

_Hearing this, Sana jolted awake and bounced in her seat clapping like a seal as Momo joined her enthusiastically. So she took a deep breath and held the journal close to her chest as she started singing._

_My selfishness that couldn't let you go_

_널 보낼 수 없는 나의 욕심이_ _  
_ _Turned into an obsession that imprisoned you_ _  
_ _집착이 되어 널 가뒀고_

_Were you hurt because of me?_ _  
_ _혹시 이런 나 땜에 힘들었니_

_You sit silently_ _  
_ _아무 대답 없는 너_

_Why am I a fool, why can't I forget you  
_ _바보처럼 왜 너를 지우지 못해_

_You’re already gone_

_넌 떠나버렸는데_

_Sana held onto Momo’s arm as they both let the lyrics sink in. This wasn’t the typical pop song. It clearly wasn’t dedicated to her boyfriend either. They both watched as a sad smile made its way onto Jihyo’s face as she beautifully sang her song._

_Your black eyes that only saw me  
_ _나만을_ _바라보던_ _너의_ _까만_ _눈_

 _Your nose that held the sweetest breath_ _  
_ _향기로운_ _숨을_ _담은_ _너의_ _코_

 _Your lips that whispered_ _  
_ _사랑해_ _사랑해_

_'I love you, I love you'_

_내게_ _속삭이던_ _그_ _입술을_ _난_ _..._

_She closed her eyes. Felt her heart beat against her chest as she imagined singing it in front of her. What would her eyes look like? How would she react? She missed her. All of her. Her eyes. Her nose. Her lips._

_Your eyes, nose, lips_

_너의 눈 코 입_

_Your touch that used to touch me_ _  
_ _날 만지던 네 손길_

_To the ends of your fingertips_

_작은 손톱까지 다_

_I can still feel you_

_여전히 널 느낄 수 있지만_ _  
_ _But like a burnt out flame_

_꺼진 불꽃처럼_ _  
_ _Burnt and destroyed all of our love  
_ _타들어가버린 우리 사랑 모두 다_

_It hurts so much, but now_ _  
_ _너무 아프지만 이젠 널_

_I'll call you a memory_ _  
_ _추억이라_ _부를게_

_The song ended. Jihyo’s voice gently stopped as she took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly. Her friends were smiling at her sadly. Not the sight she wanted to see but she knew why they were like that. Silence engulfed the apartment as the three of them let the song sink in. Jihyo shyly fiddled with the journal in her hand as she eyed her friends softly._

_“Do you think she’ll like it?”_

_Momo and Sana left the couch and crawled on the floor towards a tearful Jihyo as they wrapped their arms around the idol. Sana weaved her fingers through her hair as Momo wiped the tears that fell from Jihyo’s face before whispering sweetly._

_“She’ll love it. What’s the title?”_

_Jihyo smiled as she felt her friends engulf her in a comforting hug. She hasn’t made a title for it but she based it on the image that crossed her mind as she sung it moments ago._

_“Eyes, Nose, Lips”_

Regret. That hit her the moment she laid eyes on her for the first time in a long time. The way she smiled at Mina like how she smiled at her all those months ago. The way she carried herself so dominantly in the studio making everyone tremble in her wake. The way she spoke harshly to the people around her. The way she coldly looked into her eyes. It made her regret. Regret breaking her more than she thought she did.

Regret. It hit her. Made her eyes water. Crushed her heart. It seeped through her skin, flowed in her veins until all she could feel was the crippling regret. She regretted going to this exclusive bar that idols usually flock to. She regretted letting her friends convince her that they needed a drink after what happened yesterday. She regretted not sticking to the dance floor with her friends. So here she was sitting on the barstool staring at the far end corner of the bar where the lights didn’t reach seeing the familiar tall figure she longed to hold. Holding someone else. Kissing someone else. Leaving with someone else. She couldn’t help but recall Mina’s words yet again.

_“Trust me when I say that you haven’t seen the full extent of the Chou Tzuyu who came back from Taiwan.”_

Regret was immediately followed by a sense of anger the following morning when Dispatch released some photos of Lia of ITZY leaving the bar with a ‘mystery woman’. Jihyo knew ITZY was also one of the brand ambassadors of Tzuyu’s new mobile line and the advertisement shoots for the whole campaign literally just started yesterday. Surely, they weren’t on serious terms right? It gave her a headache so early in the morning and she decided to go to her favourite coffee shop.


	8. CHAPTER VIII

Early Monday mornings were usually full of bustling people all trying to get to work early before getting stuck with the hoard of people who woke up late from their Sunday night drinks. Jihyo went out early seeing no point in staying in bed when her thoughts wouldn’t let her sleep a wink. After seeing the latest Dispatch news, her mind has been running non-stop. South Korea early in the morning is a sight to see so she walked leisurely passing people who walked hurriedly past her. Jihyo made sure to wear a face mask to cover her identity and a black cap. She walked the familiar street towards her favourite coffee shop as she clutched her jacket closer to her with her favourite book in her arms as well. Jihyo kept rereading this particular book whenever she needed to get inspiration for a song or just simply wanting to reread it because it held a special place in her heart which says a lot since she isn’t a bookworm.

She liked going to this particular café as it held a lot of sentimental memories despite it making her heart clench. When her thoughts consume her and her heart clenches in her chest, whenever she missed her warmth or she needed a place to write songs in silence, Jihyo would go to this café and sit there for a couple of hours. That meant Jihyo was there at least once each week for the past 18 months. She didn’t know why she’d still stay there for so long but all throughout the 18 months there was hope in her heart and that little voice in her head saying that maybe one day she’ll see her walking inside and sit next to her again.

On the other hand, it was a typical Monday morning as all of Chou Incorporation’s Chief Executives and the President herself always went to work early more so today since they were all in a conference call meeting with multiple foreign investors and stock holders that was scheduled at exactly 5AM in the morning. So every senior officer was there at 4:30AM. Tzuyu didn’t catch any sleep the previous night due to some _activities_ so she was much more irritable than usual. It didn’t help that Mina glared at her all throughout the drive to the office. Dispatch apparently released some photos of ITZY’s Lia coming out of the bar last night with a ‘mystery woman’ and Chaeyoung immediately showed it to Mina.

Needless to say, Mina wasn’t too pleased to be informed by Dispatch nonetheless that Tzuyu apparently went to a bar last night and went home with their mobile brand ambassador. The moment they entered the CEO’s office at 6:30 in the morning after a gruelling 1 hour and 30 minute meeting, Mina crossed her arm in front of a nonchalant Tzuyu who sat on her desk chair sipping her whiskey. “Our own brand ambassador. Really?” Mina scoffed and walked beside her little player of a sister and grabbed her by the ear and dragged her to the parking lot with Chaeyoung laughing behind them. “Let’s get breakfast, children.”

The café wasn’t a mainstream spot so it didn’t usually have a lot of people coming inside which was perfect since Jihyo loved quiet and calm shops to stay in but this particular morning it seemed like a lot more people came by for their early morning coffee fix. Jihyo pushed the door and stepped inside the small café, the barista immediately greeting her as she went to the counter and ordered her usual drink. She’s been coming here since she was in college to study for an exam or just simply hanging out with her 8 friends seeing as it operated 24/7. So Jihyo waited for her order to get done before sitting in her usual spot beside the large window at the far corner which was luckily unoccupied and opened her worn out copy of ‘Great Expectations’ on the table.

_“Hi Stranger. Are you all alone?”_

_Jihyo looked up from the book she was reading for the upcoming exams for senior students and saw her innocent looking girlfriend with a book clutched against her chest and her iced coffee on the other hand. So she gazed inquiringly at the younger girl but chose to just play along with her silly antics. It was 4pm on a slow Saturday afternoon and Jihyo was currently waiting for her girlfriend in their favorite café so that they can spend time together and at the same time study. They loved this spot since aside from it being very aesthetically pleasing with the glass walls and rustic feel, it also served really good coffee and food._

_“I was waiting for someone but yeah I guess I’m alone.”_

_Tzuyu gave her a shy charming smile that made her dimple show and accentuated her puppy doe eyes as the younger girl stood in front of her bashfully._

_“I didn’t mean to interrupt your studying but I was wondering if I can sit here with you? The place is packed and there’s really no vacant seats available aside from the seat beside you. If you don’t mind, I mean I wouldn’t want to impose.”_

_Jihyo raised a questioning eyebrow at her girlfriend and roamed her eyes behind the tall girl as she saw that the café had no other customers aside from the two of them. Looking back up at Tzuyu’s shy features, she saw a little glint of mischief in her girlfriend’s eyes and she couldn’t help but blush and coo at the sweet girl. Jihyo lifted her bag that was resting on the seat beside her that she reserved for Tzuyu and put it on the floor as she smiled up at her sweet girlfriend who was still shyly standing on front of her._

_“I wouldn’t mind and you’re not imposing. Here you can sit beside me.”_

_Tzuyu sat beside Jihyo and gently placed her coffee and book on the table. Jihyo couldn’t help but think they were being really silly as they both had faint blushes adorning their cheeks and stealing shy glances towards each other like they weren’t already in a relationship. Jihyo felt her heart swell for the younger girl._

_They weren’t the type of couple to partake in heavy PDA or aggressive social media posts like some younger couples do but Tzuyu introduced her to the kind of relationship that she thought only existed in sappy classic novels. A kind of love that didn’t need to be announced like an advertisement but instead thrived in their own serene calming silence. A kind of love that didn’t depend on over the top shows of affection but instead flourished with a simple touch of their hands. A kind of love that didn’t cause chaos to their thoughts but instead replaced the deafening clamour with the stillness of their lover’s voice. Tzuyu introduced her to the kind of loved that didn’t prosper on deafening uproars but one that served as her home when the world’s chaos became too much to bear. It was a love that Jihyo never knew existed. It was pure. It was silent. It was tranquil. It was a love that would last. It was hers and Tzuyu’s._

_“What are you reading?”_

_Jihyo looked up once again from her book as she gazed at her girlfriend’s twinkling eyes. Tzuyu knew what she was reading since they’ve been texting all day about the upcoming exams for the seniors but Jihyo found it quite adorable for Tzuyu to act like they were strangers meeting in a quaint café._

_“Uhm my music theory book for the upcoming exams. How about you?”_

_Tzuyu’s eyes perked up and twinkled even brighter as she pushed the book closer to Jihyo. The older girl knew what the book was since it’s Tzuyu’s favourite book that she’s been rereading recently. Tzuyu was still trying to convince her to read the book after the exams but she was yet to agree to it seeing as she wasn’t much of a bookworm and much rather watch movies than read thick books._

_“Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. It’s my favourite book actually. Can I read you something?”_

_Tzuyu gazed at her with her wide bashful eyes that made Jihyo want to just agree with reading the book after her exams and she smiled softly at her girlfriend before nodding. Her girlfriend opened the book in front of them and riffled through the pages till she found the one she was looking for. With her quiet gentle voice, Tzuyu read Jihyo a passage from the book slowly as if they were sharing a precious secret._

_“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”_

_Tzuyu finally glanced up at the book as she gazed lovingly into Jihyo’s soft adoring eyes._

_“That’s my favourite quote from this book. Did you like it?”_

_She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t think. All she felt was her love for this sweet thoughtful girl in front of her. So Jihyo gave her a gentle smile as she nodded at Tzuyu before leaning forward and placing a loving kiss on Tzuyu’s lips._

Tzuyu sat rigged in her seat as she realized which café Mina was taking them. She hasn’t been here in over 18 months and she didn’t want to go here. She caught Mina’s eyes through the car’s rear-view mirror and whined. “Unnie I don’t like that café. Can we go somewhere else?” The older girl scoffed oblivious to the amount of memories Tzuyu had in that café and parked the car in front of the establishment. “No. This café has the best coffee and pastry. Also because you pissed me off you have no say in this whatsoever.”

So the trio walked inside the unusually packed café and Mina waited at the back of the relatively long in line with her girlfriend as they made Tzuyu go find them a table. The Japanese girl wanted to get her favourite coffee and pastry so she wasn’t going to let herself be fazed by the hoard of people seemingly in a rush to get their coffee as well.

A number of people who were seated near the entrance of the café turned their heads towards the trio and lingered their gazes on Tzuyu who started walking around the café. The CEO was yet again wearing her usual stylish corporate attire. She was wearing black 4 inch high pumps that made her look taller than she already is, black capris pants that ended right above her ankles and a black and white downward striped long sleeved button up that had the 3 top buttons undone. With Tzuyu’s unique facial features and flowing long hair, she looked as if she just stepped out of a magazine shoot.

Tzuyu started walking towards the far back of the café away from the hoard of people by the entrance. She couldn’t help but notice that the café looked exactly like it did all those months ago. Nothing changed. She scoffed to herself as she thought _‘At least something else didn’t change’_. Every table was already occupied but she didn’t notice the table at the corner was occupied by a slack jawed Jihyo who was rereading her book seconds ago. Tzuyu didn’t mind sharing tables with people especially when she had Mina and Chaeyoung with her so she just hoped to find a table they can share with someone. She was about to give up and just tell Mina to get their orders for take-out when a familiar voice called out behind her.

“Hi. Are you all alone?”

Tzuyu froze. That voice sounded exactly like Jihyo’s and Tzuyu wasn’t so sure if she was hallucinating because of her slight buzz from the whiskey and the lack of sleep or if she really was here. Tzuyu turned around and kept a straight face as she locked gazes with none other than Jihyo herself. The older girl was occupying a table that could fit four people comfortably but Tzuyu wasn’t so sure that sharing a table with her ex-girlfriend in a nostalgic café was a good idea. Tzuyu could feel the buzz of the whiskey hit her full force now and mix with the intense déjà vu she was experiencing so she just answered Jihyo without even thinking about her next sentence.

“I’m waiting for my friends but yeah I guess I’m alone”

 _Fuck._ Her attempt at sounding rude and discourteous did not go too well. Tzuyu hated when her common sense didn’t cooperate with her as she mentally slapped herself for letting the déjà vu scenario unfold. She didn’t know if she was just naturally unlucky or if fate was having a good time playing with her. Nevertheless, she remained nonchalant in front of Jihyo as the girl looked up at her with her big stunned eyes.

“Here you can sit beside me while you wait, Daepyo-nim.”

Right, she was the CEO of a company that hired Jihyo to be their brand ambassador. Tzuyu stood up straight as she once again tried to act professional. Jihyo was their brand ambassador and it was polite to share a seat with her in honor of good business. Ever since the day the Brand Team suggested Jihyo, Tzuyu wished that the older girl can treat her professionally and if she was doing it right now then there was no reason for Tzuyu to not act professional as well.

Instead of sitting beside Jihyo, Tzuyu sat across the table from her. She’d rather sit across her than beside her so she guessed this was the lesser evil and hoped that Mina was almost done with their order. All her smugness about sleeping with Lia last night all flew out of the window as she was harshly reminded as to why she was sleeping with random girls in the first place. To forget about the person sitting across from her which she has been consistently failing to do for the past eighteen months. Now she was seated in _their_ table again after so long in _their_ tiny café they frequented in back when they were in college. Fate was mocking her, she was sure of it.

She glanced back at the line where she left the couple and saw that they only moved a couple of steps and were no way near the front counter. Well it hasn’t been 2 minutes anyway so Tzuyu was hoping it wouldn’t take too long. Sitting back properly, Tzuyu faced Jihyo who was now busy reading or pretending to read a worn out book in front of her. The CEO raised a questioning eyebrow at the idol since she knew that Jihyo isn’t a bookworm nor did she have any interest in reading books all too much. She couldn’t help herself so she tilted her head as she observed the idol reading.

“What are you reading?”

Jihyo’s heart pounded in her constricting chest as she tried to ignore the well-dressed CEO that was sat in front of her and tried to again engross herself into the book. Ironically, this was Tzuyu’s own copy of ‘Great Expectations’ which the younger girl gave to her after her exam week way back during senior year when she relented and agreed with what Tzuyu wanted which is to read it. She ended up loving the book so after reading it, Tzuyu decided to give the book for Jihyo to keep.

“Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. It’s my favourite book actually. Can I- Can I read you something?”

Tzuyu’s heart hurt more than it did for the past 18 months. It hurt her more knowing that the book was hers and till this day Jihyo still kept it with her. She should’ve recognized it earlier. She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know if she was happy that she was rereading it till this day or grieve knowing that even though she shared an important book to her the idol still replaced her with someone else. Here she was again hurting herself with thoughts of the past. She really needed to learn how to let go of the past and keep it in the past. The CEO took a deep subtle breath as she stared into Jihyo’s doe eyes and nodded softly.

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

Jihyo recited it ever so softly as if speaking louder than that would make Tzuyu run away, she didn’t even glance down at the book as she held the CEO’s gaze all throughout but if Tzuyu noticed she didn’t bother pointing it out.

“That’s my favourite quote from this book. I relate to it even more now.”

Jihyo smiled sadly at the CEO before running her fingertips on the page of the book. This was the first decent conversation she had with Tzuyu after all those months and she was glad that it was inside their favourite café. It made her feel nostalgic more so now that they were talking about the book they both loved. It gave her a little beacon of hope that maybe someday Tzuyu can forgive her. Right now, it wasn’t her goal for Tzuyu to take her back as a girlfriend. She longed for the day that Tzuyu can find it in her heart to forgive her and be her friend again. So in an attempt to make small talk, Jihyo kept the conversation going.

“Maybe you can use that quote for the girl you’ll date, Daepyo-nim.”

Tzuyu broke eye contact with Jihyo as the CEO smiled down at the book between them looking at it wistfully before looking back into Jihyo’s eyes with a dark glint in the CEO’s cold eyes. Again, it sent shivers up Jihyo’s spine seeing Tzuyu look so dark and guarded. The CEO smirked dangerously.

“I don’t date, Miss Park. I fuck.”

Jihyo’s eyes widened as she saw her innocent Chewy talk so bluntly. This was the Chou Tzuyu who came back from Taiwan. This was the Chou Tzuyu she helped build. Before, she could come up with anything to say, Mina suddenly appeared behind Tzuyu and placed her hand on the CEO’s shoulder.

“Chewy-yah, let’s just eat at the office. Kaja.”

Tzuyu stood from her seat and adjusted the sleeves of her button down before pushing her chair back into its place. She then looked at Jihyo politely.

“It was lovely running into you, Miss Park. See you on your next shoot.”

Jihyo stood from her seat and bowed in respect which Tzuyu returned before turning around and leaving the café with Mina’s hand interlaced with hers. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t speak. All she felt was love and pain consume her thoughts. 


	9. CHAPTER IX

It was a Friday night a week after the Dispatch news came out.

Tzuyu found herself thinking.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

For some reason she couldn’t seem to scare Lia away. The younger girl seemed to have stuck to her like a koala. A talented singing koala. So when she saw Lia’s name flash on her phone screen for the nth time in the past thirty minutes, Tzuyu couldn’t help but groan in annoyance. It was a gruelling day at work and Tzuyu didn’t want to talk to anyone, she just wanted to drink her whiskey in peace but the young idol kept bombarding her phone with calls. The Chief Executives and the President all had an early day and Tzuyu decided that they can all clock out earlier than usual to make up for it much to her employees liking so here was Tzuyu peacefully sipping on her whiskey at 7PM. She massaged her temples and picked her phone up. Fifteen minutes later, Tzuyu was once again massaging her temples but now with an energetic Lia sitting beside her on the couch with a box of chicken sat on her coffee table. Apparently Lia has been waiting for Tzuyu back down in the lobby for the past half an hour and the front desk has been eyeing her weirdly.

“I told you, Daepyo-nim. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

_Her head hurt. Her chest ached._

_Fate was not on her side._

_She’s beginning to think that it never was._

_Tzuyu was trying to have a good time in a bar that idols frequented hoping to find another distraction for the night in the form of one Choi Jisu who she’d been having eye contact with for the past 5 minutes when none other than Park Jihyo herself walked inside with the other 4 girls she didn’t want to encounter. She groaned in annoyance before taking her drink and scooting at the very edge of the bar towards a stand table where the lights won’t hit her and proceeding to down her drink._

_“You okay, Daepyo-nim?”_

_She looked away from her drink and was met with Lia’s concerned eyes. She immediately composed herself and flashed the idol with one of her charming smiles._

_“Of course. It’s good seeing you here, Lia-ssi.” She said with all the charisma she could muster._

_Maybe there was still a chance for her to salvage the night with yet another warm body to occupy her thoughts for the rest of the evening. So Tzuyu smirked down at the idol making the younger girl blush before shuffling closer to her and wrapping her arm around Lia’s middle—the action making the idol blush even harder and making Tzuyu’s eyes darken._

_Throughout their conversation, Tzuyu couldn’t help but steal glances towards the dance floor and the bar where she watched as Jihyo escaped from Momo and Sana’s grip to sit by the bar and get herself a drink._

_Probably a cosmopolitan. Tzuyu remembered during senior year how Jihyo would always order that drink whenever they get dragged into bars by the Japanese duo. Her eyebrows furrowed while watching Jihyo sip her rum and coke finding it odd how she changed her drink preference._

_Before Tzuyu could go down memory lane she felt a hot breath on her ear and Lia reciprocating her skinship by wrapping her own arm around Tzuyu’s middle. “It seems like I’m not the brand ambassador that you’re focusing on.” Tzuyu snapped out of her haze and immediately turned her head towards a smirking Lia._

_“Would you like for me to focus on you?” The CEO clapped back as she tried to regain her composure from being caught red handed. Lia nodded before taking a sip from her drink and continuing their forgotten conversation. Tzuyu, once again, let’s her eyes wander towards the lone idol sulking by the bar and lingers on her._

_“What’s your history?”_

_“Excuse me?” Tzuyu glances back at a concerned Lia._

_“What’s your history with her?” the young idol dropped her arm from Tzuyu’s waist and leaned on the table as she stared curiously at the CEO. “Daepyo-nim, I might have just met you but I know that look anywhere.”_

_She swears she could hear her heart beat in panic even through the deafening music in the room as she stared at Lia’s amused eyes. It wasn’t comforting for her to know that even after all these months, her eyes would still gravitate towards Jihyo even in a crowded room. “What look?”_

_Lia rolled her eyes at her and pushed her shoulder lightly before giggling. “That sad look in your eyes. I thought I was in a movie for a second.” She scoffed at the amused idol before downing her drink and fully facing her body towards Lia. She didn’t know why but her gut said she could trust this girl or maybe that was just the alcohol talking. “Okay Ms Detective, you win. I think it’s obvious how our movie ended.”_

_Lia slowly nodded in realization as she stared at Jihyo for a moment and back at Tzuyu. “People go to bars for two things, Daepyo-nim. It’s either they’re looking for someone or desperately trying to forget someone. Which one are you?”_

_She didn’t know either._

_She looked at the idol questioningly. It was true. Bars, sex, alcohol and work was all she did and all she has ever done for the past months in desperate attempts to forget._

_Tzuyu watched as the idol’s eyes travelled from Jihyo, to her then down to her lips and before she knew it she was pressing Lia against the wall and grabbing her hips to steady herself. Even through the bass of the music, the hot atmosphere and Lia’s lips pressed against hers, Tzuyu still can’t take her mind off of the girl sitting at the bar behind her._

_She’s starting to question if she ever could._

_She squeezed her eyes shut as she pressed Lia against the wall harder. Maybe if she tried harder, maybe if she kissed faster, maybe if she drank more, maybe then would the ache in her heart melt away for good._

_Maybe not._

_Lia pulled away first as she tried to regain her breathing before sincerely holding Tzuyu’s gaze. “If you think you can forget her just by fucking every girl in this bar, then you’re wrong. Although, Can I suggest another tactic for you, Daepyo-nim?”_

_She didn’t know if she was insulted or just comforted at the thought of a complete stranger being concerned about her personal well-being but since Lia seemed like a genuine girl Tzuyu decided to let it slide. “So aside from being a detective, you’re also a counsellor. Got it.”_

_The idol released a genuine laugh before shaking her head. “What can I say, I’m country’s national dongsaeng after all.” That made Tzuyu scoff and Lia push her shoulder in protest._

_“Spend the night with me.”_

_“That’s the plan, yeah.”_

_The idol rolled her eyes and fixed her amused gaze on the smirking CEO._

_“Not like that, player. Let’s order take out, tell me all your deepest darkest secrets and I’ll tell you mine. Tell me your story. With her. I may not be one-night-stand material but I’m sure a night with me is better than any night with them.”_

_“No thank you. I’m not a highschooler that got dumped.”_

_Without being given the chance to protest further, she was being dragged out of the bar by a very enthusiastic Lia and Tzuyu drove them back to her penthouse. “As your new found best friend, I have the right to know all your deep darkest secrets, Daepyo-nim”_

_She quickly realized that this girl had no boundaries nor shame whatsoever. Like Lia suggested, Tzuyu’s coffee table was filled with take-out and drinks._

_“So you’re the reason why her songs are all about breakups.”_

_Time passed. The streets grew silent as the night grew darker._

_Much to her surprise, Tzuyu felt lighter._

_Talking about her past with someone unbiased and open minded felt different. She wouldn’t admit it to Lia, but her night with the annoyingly energetic idol was much better than any one-night-stand she’s had._

_Did it help her forget? No._

_It just helped her sort out her feelings and thoughts. As promised, Lia was a very good distraction and a very good listener. Kudos to Lia for genuinely listening to her emotional blabbering all throughout the night. Maybe the idol wasn’t as annoying as she thought. “If you could go back in time knowing what you know now, would you still choose to be with her?”_

_“Yes” Tzuyu blurts out firmly without thinking. She smiled sadly at Lia before nodding to show her conviction._

_“Being with her even for a while would still be worth it than not being with her at all.”_

_She let it sink in. Her words. Meaningful yet full of agony. But it was the truth. She let her guard down. These were words she couldn’t admit to herself nor say in front of her friends but here in this little bubble she had with Lia, Tzuyu found herself opening up. It was tiring. Exhausting even. Keeping up a façade in front of everyone to convince them and herself that she was bolder now. Maybe she was. But she knew that wasn’t who she really is. No._

_She’s scared. Terrified even. But if she really let herself think about it. if it wasn’t for that horrid night, she wouldn’t be who she was now. Braver. Stronger. Resilient._

_More importantly she was not as naïve as she used to be._

_Because in this world full of chaos, only the strong will survive._

_So the whole night was spent with Tzuyu telling her whole story to Lia with neither girls realizing how much time passed until the sun rose for another day. Tzuyu stood up and stretched before playfully glaring at the idol lounging comfortably on her couch._

_“Good morning to you, Daepyo-nim. Now’s the time for you to tell me that I’m the best one-night-stand you’ve ever had. Go on. Don’t be shy.”_

_“Leave, I usually don’t let one night stands stay till the morning.”_

_Despite being up all night and slightly buzzed, the idol stood up bouncing like a ball of energy that she is before skipping towards Tzuyu’s kitchen most probably to make them breakfast._

_“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Daepyo-nim”_

Since that night, Lia claimed to be her best friend and has been non-stop bombarding her with texts and calls to hang out which she successfully avoided until tonight. No one knew that they didn’t actually sleep together. They didn’t need to know. So she let Lia pester her for a good hour and a half while divulging the take-out she bought for her and sipping wine instead of whiskey. She was having a good time listening to Lia go on about Yuna laughing at her for falling asleep while eating a chocolate bar when they heard two surprised gasps by the door.

Sure enough, Mina and Chaeyoung were both stood at the entrance of her penthouse with their hands covering their eyes just in case there was something happening that they shouldn’t be witnessing. Tzuyu scoffed before throwing a pillow at Chaeyoung’s head. “All clear.”

Lia stood up and giggled as she saw Chaeyoung’s flustered face when she dropped her hands. The idol bowed in respect as she greeted the two Executives.

“Boo Jang-nim ( _Chief_ ), I ordered take out. Would you like to join us?”

Chaeyoung could not believe her eyes. As a die-hard Midzy, seeing Lia in her best friend’s penthouse seemed like a dream. Mina dragged her towards the couch and sat first followed by Tzuyu and Lia.

“What are you doing here, Lia-ssi? We weren’t expecting to see you here since we have a shoot tomorrow.”

Tzuyu raised her eyebrow subtly at Mina’s tone but chose not to interrupt the older girl. The idol, on the other hand, kept her smile as she regarded the two with sincere apologetic eyes before pushing the take out box closer to them.

“Mianhe, I was just dropping by to have dinner and chat before going back to the dorm. Apparently, Daepyo-nim doesn’t know what Minecraft is which is highly disappointing.”

Mina didn’t need to grill the idol after that as they both talked about video games while ordering more take-out for the four of them to share, much to Chaeyoung’s amusement. She was thrilled to see her girlfriend enthusiastically engage in conversation with one of her favourite idols.

It was such an unusual evening.

The couple has never seen Tzuyu bring back a one-night-stand to her penthouse twice and here was Lia bringing her take-out and just sitting on her couch talking about minecraft. It was pleasantly unusual and Mina could not decipher whether she was convinced or not but she’d figure that out some other time. Chaeyoung wanted to pull Tzuyu aside and ask her if she’s dating the idol but she didn’t want to scare Tzuyu from a potential relationship by cornering her about it so she decided otherwise.

She wasn’t blind, she knew the look Lia gave her. A look of genuine interest. It was pure and that’s what scared her. She didn’t want to hurt the girl especially when she’s found a genuine dongsaeng in her.

Little did she know, Lia wasn’t one to wave her white flag that easily.

...

It was a Friday night a week after the Dispatch news came out.

Jihyo found herself thinking.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She deserved it. Karma was real and it caught her after so many months. It finally caught her. That wasn’t what bothered her. What bothered her the most was that she felt nothing. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be sobbing in despair.

But she wasn’t.

Her friends immediately went into her apartment the moment she called for them to come over and wouldn’t let her out of their sight. They weren’t as concerned nor were they wretched about the news, they didn’t like him anyway. Sure they helped Jihyo hide it before but in all honesty they thought the girl would’ve snapped out of it before Tzuyu had to discover their ugly secret.

Obviously, that didn’t work out well for all of them.

They were here to at least show Jihyo their support in whatever she was feeling as of the moment and Jihyo knew that. Her friends knew the guy but they weren’t exactly friends with him. He never went to any of their get-togethers nor did he put any effort into knowing them or hanging out with them. As far as they knew, after 3 months of Tzuyu leaving their apartment, Jihyo has only seen Daniel at work in the company building. She didn’t go out on dates with him like she did back when she was still with Tzuyu.

It sounded so revolting whenever they think back at it. Repulsive wasn’t even a word that could explain how they all felt with that relationship and themselves for even remotely supporting it.

As for Jihyo, she couldn’t believe how stupid she was for letting her libido and need for attention govern her decisions. Jihyo knew she was in denial in the past thinking that what she did was justifiable. In her stupid head she thought that she wasn’t spending any time with Tzuyu so she had a reason to spend it with someone else. She didn’t even try to understand nor realize that the younger girl was working 2 jobs at the same time just to pay their bills because she wasn’t making that much money from her gigs.

That ate her up inside. Knowing Tzuyu has never experienced financial struggle yet the younger girl didn’t even hesitate to take on too much work just for the both of them. It made her stomach churn and her heart ache knowing she caused all that.

So here she was sitting rigid on her couch at a Friday night surrounded by her equally silent friends. The incident didn’t even happen that day, it happened a day ago but she gave herself one day to process all of it before finally texting her friends to come over and tell them what happened.

_“You’re not going to leave the company are you?”_

_That’s the first words he told her. In a way it didn’t shock her. That was all that he cared about anyway. Two months into their ‘relationship’ after Tzuyu disappeared from their radar, Jihyo’s relationship with Daniel wasn’t as exciting nor has it interested her like it used to anymore. The slap Mina graciously gave her all those months ago helped juggle her brain and conscience a lot._

_Admittedly, she didn’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him the moment she realized her dire mistake. Maybe it was the fear of him kicking her out of the company. Maybe it was because of her pride. Maybe for convenience. Maybe because she was never one to admit her faults. Her pride yet again caused more harm than good. So that faithful Thursday morning when she casually strolled into Daniel’s office and saw one of the trainees sitting on his lap with his mouth pressed onto hers didn’t shock her._

_She was relieved._

_That’s what shocked her. She wasn’t mad nor was she hurt at the fact that someone else was pressing their lips onto her so-called ‘boyfriend’. She didn’t even pay attention to the trainee when she scurried past her to leave the room. Jihyo was more focused on Daniel’s nonchalant face. That pissed her off._

_Maybe that’s what Tzuyu felt when she caught her. Anger. More anger than she could’ve ever imagined seeing as she wasn’t even remotely in love with Daniel yet she was angry at the fact that he looked so indifferent by his own revolting actions. It was repulsive for her to watch him act like that knowing that she may have looked exactly the same way all those months ago in front of Tzuyu._

_This was her karma. Seeing how repulsive she acted way back then in the form of Daniel today. It was like looking into a mirror. Disgusting. She was disgusted by herself. She turned her back to the woman who fought endlessly to stay by her side just to be with this man. A man as revolting as her. What goes around really does come back around. Ironic._

_The cheater got cheated on._

_“No. It’s about time we split up anyway. I hope you don’t cheat on her later on.”_

_She wanted to slap herself. Jihyo was not in the position to even lecture someone about cheating but here she was. Daniel just chuckled and stood up making his way towards her with his smug smirk on his face. No remorse. None at all. It’s funny how fate made her see how disgusting she was in the form of someone else. This was her. Months ago. That just made her stomach churn even more thinking that she looked like that before. She didn’t even know what she saw in him on the first place. Fun. Right. She saw temporary fun in him._

_“Don’t you want to join us next time?”_

_Did she hear that right? It took her aback at how casual it sounded. She had to take a second look at him to see if he was serious. “Excuse me?” she said with all the strength she could muster. He just stood there looking at her like how he would always look at her. Like she was a piece of meat. When they were fooling around all those months ago she would love it. She felt wanted. Like she was the center of attention. But now. Now it was disgusting._

_“Two is fun but I think three will be a whole new level of fun.”_

_She was slack jawed. The hair on her arms were standing up in disgust. She knew he was a wild spirit but she never imagined he could propose something so indecent. They were all in the same company. His company. Yet here he was making it into his own harem. She was glad she wasn’t this disgusting. She was awful but this was just downright nauseating._

_This was one of the things she was in denial about. Now it was laid out in front of her on a silver disgusting platter. The truth is. He didn’t just look at her like a piece of meat. He treated her just like a piece of meat. She was not going to let him treat her like that anymore so she immediately shook her head at him too speechless to form coherent sentences. He looked disappointed yet he just shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his chair. “Your loss”_

_He was right._

_It was her loss._

_It’s been her loss for the past 18 months._

_She lost her._

“I still can’t believe he proposed a threesome with you.” Nayeon slapped a snickering Jeongyeon beside her as she broke the awkward silence. Jihyo didn’t try arguing with Jeongyeon, they all knew she deserved it. She deserved more than that actually.

Being the sweet girls that they are, Sana and Momo flanked her sides giving her comfort as they leaned against her shoulders. The two choosing to stay silent letting the situation sink in. Jihyo told them everything. How she didn’t feel hurt about him cheating. How she felt disgusted. How she imagined herself looking like that in front of Tzuyu. How much it angered her now knowing what kind of pain she inflicted to the younger girl. So they sat there. Letting the words sink in as they themselves thought about the agony they let Tzuyu endure.

Nayeon looked at her like she didn’t know what to do with her. It was the same look she gave her all those months ago when Jihyo first sang _‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’_ to her for the first time before recording it after she sang it to Sana and Momo. A look of pure sorrow. Pity. She knew why Nayeon looked at her like that. She can’t blame her. She was pitiful. It was rare to see Nayeon like this. So serious and pensive. It was rare seeing all of them like this.

“What goes around comes back around. That’s done now, you guys should focus on winning over the girls.”

They all nodded solemnly. Even though Mina gave the four girls not including Jihyo, the go signal in trying to mend their relationship they still didn’t have a single clue on what to do. They can’t just waltz in the building acting all friendly. No. They had to do it step by step. It didn’t matter how long it took as long as there was a chance that someday they could hear Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu call them _Unnies_ again and Mina smile at them again then they would do anything.

“How about you? What’s the plan?” Sana asked her ever so gently.

Jihyo couldn’t help but think back to last week’s hot news about Lia coming out of the bar with Tzuyu in tow. It hurt her. All throughout the week that was the only thing running through her mind. She knew Mina warned them about Tzuyu being a completely different person but now she’s seen it for herself. She had so many questions. Were they dating? Going to date? Did they sleep together? Was it serious? Didn’t she say she didn’t date? Was Lia different from the rest?

Either way, it hurt her knowing that Lia was holding Tzuyu like she used to. Lia was making her laugh like she used to. Lia was kissing her like she used to. Lia was waking up next to her like she used to. Lia was loving her maybe even better than Jihyo used to. She couldn’t help but think.

_Can I be her?_


	10. CHAPTER X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do listen to All I Want by Kodaline before reading the chapter :) Thank you!

_All I want is nothing more  
To hear you knocking at my door  
'Cause if I could see your face once more  
I could die as a happy man I'm sure_

It was dark. She never liked the dark. It was chaotic. The world was chaotic enough but more so in her head. It was silent. Literally. Not the comfortable kind. The kind that sends shivers up your arm and affects your thoughts.

She could clearly remember all the nights she’s spent crying in her bed alone in Taiwan. Surrounded by nothing but darkness and complete silence. Locked in her head. She didn’t live with her parents. She can’t live with all the pressure they give her day-in day-out. So she’s alone. Sometimes she thinks no one really fully understood the darkness she endured alone. So she replays it in her head. Not to hurt herself all over again but to remind her why she never wanted to go back.

The first few months were nothing but agonizing. It would’ve been a complete lie if she said she wasn’t hoping. Hoping to see her again. Hoping to hear her knocking on the door. Hoping that maybe someday she’ll come save her from the chaos in her mind. Hoping that she’ll hear her voice once again saying that she only found anguish and misery without her.

But she didn’t.

_When you said your last goodbye  
I died a little bit inside  
I lay in tears in bed all night  
Alone without you by my side_

But day by day, night by night, week by week, the hope she had diminished little by little until every hope she had was slowly replaced with resentment. She was a naturally silent girl. Never one to express much. Her mind was her kingdom. Was. It was the only thing she was comfortable in. But even her kingdom turned into a place she wanted to run away from. She turned to the only thing she knew could silence the chaos in her head. At least that’s what she thought.

Alcohol.

When that didn’t seem enough she paired it with something else again. She figured she didn’t feel at all beautiful like everyone else says she was. Especially when she got replaced by someone else. She was shy. A full blooded introvert. Not one to date around back in college. She dressed timidly. Not one to draw attention to herself. But maybe she could change that. So she dressed differently, talked differently until she became more charismatic than she already was.

Sex.

But then she realized all those things only helped her during the darkness. Her days still left her crumbling. Her mind still went back to the chaos she’s trying to escape during the night. So she turned her daytime into a battlefield she focused on winning. She became the most feared executive in her father’s company. Didn’t take long for her father to offer her, her own empire.

At work.

Till months and months she built the perfect routine that worked. It was temporary. But it worked.

Until she came back to South Korea. 

_But If you loved me  
Why did you leave me_

That night Mina coaxed her into listening to Jihyo’s song for the shoot was the night she returned to her kingdom. The chaos she desperately tried to outrun. But now it wasn’t as chaotic. It was more painful than before. Filled with _her_ voice as the song played all throughout the night. The only thought that ran in her mind revolved around one question.

Why?

_Take my body  
Take my body  
All I want is  
All I need is  
To find somebody  
I'll find somebody_

She had her fair share of one night stands. All very attractive women. Not that it would’ve mattered. They didn’t mean anything to her anyway. At first she tried to find a replacement. Maybe someone that could fill that huge void that Jihyo left empty for someone else to fill. For someone else to heal. But she realized after months of one-night-stands, she would go for the girl who resembled Jihyo. All of them had big eyes but not as beautiful as Jihyo’s. A wide gummy smile but not as stunning as Jihyo’s. A curvy body but not as perfectly sculpted as Jihyo’s.

Until that faithful night at the bar.

Lia, was different. She listened. She cared. She looked nothing like Jihyo. It wasn’t a rushed night with clothes littering her bedroom floor and her sheets dishelved with her headboard banging against the wall. No. It was a night with littered take-out boxes and drinks full of sarcastic clap backs and tearful conversations. She didn’t have to pretend to be the successful CEO who came from Taiwan. She was just herself. Well, a little bit of herself.

But the truth hit her at the same time. Whoever she tried to be whether it be Chewy or Chou Tzuyu, her heart screamed only one person’s name. It pointed to the same person even when her mind points her to the younger idol sitting on her couch listening to her burdensome past, her heart was saying the opposite.

Finally, she found somebody.

Lia found her.

But again, fate was never on her side when the day she met Lia, she watched Jihyo walk back into her life once again.

_'Cause you brought out the best of me  
A part of me I'd never seen  
You took my soul wiped it clean  
Our love was made for movie screens_

It was the following day after that unusual Friday night with Lia and her friends. The shoot was hectic. All the idols were on set as they briefed them about the group shoot that would be happening. All hands were on deck and so were Mina and Tzuyu. Her mind and her heart has never had this much of a conflict as Tzuyu watched Jihyo interact with ITZY. Lia told her that she’s friends with the older idol since they’ve been running into each other during award shows and variety shows so she shouldn’t have been this perplexed as to why they were all friendly. It didn’t help her inner debate though. She still was trying to figure out why she had to have a debate in the first place.

The shoot started and the idols were all in their places as the cameras rolled. Everyone knew exactly how to act in front of the camera. They’re idols after all. Also because Mina was overlooking the whole shoot with Tzuyu by her side as usual so mistakes were not welcomed. Holding the phones to clearly show it on film. Tzuyu was behind Mina away from the lights of the studio where it can only illuminate her face faintly. They were filming ITZY’s part first. Mina called cut and beckoned for the director to discuss something about placements and further adjustments. As they were busy discussing, Tzuyu felt like someone was staring at her so she turned her gaze to the set.

Lia glanced at her from across the studio and gave her a smile. It was a soft smile, one that gave her odd comfort. The idol’s eyes glinted with something close to mischievous but she shrugged it away since Lia was always up to something silly. Her mind told her it was a smile of adoration.

Her heart told her it wasn’t the smile she needed to see.

This was the girl who wanted to know her. All sides of her. The good and the broken. She was the kind who wanted to know all her shattered pieces and put them back together. This was the girl who wanted to help her forget. She tried to make her laugh. Amuse her with her humour. She said jokingly last night that brooding didn’t look good on her which she still didn’t know if it was an insult or a compliment. Tzuyu wasn’t naïve. She knew Lia’s affection for her. Tzuyu just wasn’t sure if she can reciprocate it.

So with a raised eyebrow she turned her gaze back towards Mina who was now holding onto her forearm and the Director who was immersed in whatever instructions the Japanese woman was giving.

The cameras panned towards Jihyo’s set as the staff made little adjustments before the cameras filmed. Jihyo just stood there as instructed with the phone in hand ready to act out the advertisement flow given to her. She stood there as professional as always.

This was the girl who coaxed her out of her shell all those years ago. Made her express more than she ever could think she was capable of. Made her vulnerable. Caused her to do things she couldn’t have imagined doing all for the name of love. Exposed her to the sides of her she’s never seen before. The sides she never even knew existed.

The good. Exposing her heart and revolving her life around someone she wanted to hold onto. Sacrificed greatly for the love she tried to keep. Took risks not knowing where the outcome would lead her towards for the love she tried to nurture. She wore her heart on her sleeve. She was Chewy, the girl who stayed in Korea and suffered just to be by her side. 

The broken. Slowly building walls no one could climb. Fucked whoever she wanted to fuck. Because she can. Drank whenever she wanted to. Worked all day till she was the youngest CEO to ever run a company this successful. She was Chou Tzuyu, the girl who built herself an empire to distract herself from all things associated to the love she didn’t get to keep. The result of a catastrophic love story.

Both different girls but both the aftermath of the love that Jihyo gave and the love that Jihyo broke. The good. The broken.

_But If you loved me  
Why’d you leave me  
  
_

Mina subtly wrapped her hand around the CEO’s wrist and guided her towards the seats beside the technical deck. The Japanese woman was highly attuned to Tzuyu’s body language and of course she noticed how pensive her baby was being ever since the start of the day. She knew not to ask as Tzuyu would eventually tell her what she’s thinking about so she interlaced her fingers with the CEO and placed their hands on her lap. The subtle squeeze Tzuyu gave her assured Mina of her gratefulness and promise that she would be okay.

“Places. The advertisement won’t film itself.” Tzuyu said with her powerful voice. Wearing her steel mask again making the staff scurry faster towards their places behind the cameras. Tzuyu saw the Director raise his surprised eyebrows in her peripheral vision and the CEO smirked at the effect she held. She loved it. Being in control. Being in charge. It worked well for her.

Jihyo jumped in her place at the sound of Tzuyu’s harsh voice. She could never get used to the sharp tone the girl has acquired even how many times she’s heard it on set. So she gazed behind the blinding lights of the studio and adjusted her sight. In the dark, she found her. Seems like that’s the only place she can find her nowadays. It was like gazing into the beast’s eyes. The beast she helped create. She maintained gazes with the girl hoping she was watching her behind all those cameras as Jihyo stood in place on set.

She smiled a soft smile towards the cold eyes hidden in the darkness of the studio hoping Tzuyu understood it was for her.

Tzuyu did.

...

The shoot went on throughout the day with little to no hitches since both Mina and Tzuyu were there to overlook everything as Chaeyoung would pop up here and there in between her meetings. For Jihyo it was a big relief to be let out of the studio, not because she didn’t want to be in Tzuyu’s presence. It was because she couldn’t handle how Lia stuck onto Tzuyu’s side at every given opportunity. So when the shoot finally wrapped up at 4 in the afternoon, Jihyo stood up from her seat at the side of the set as the other idols bid their farewell to the staff and the Executives before making their way out.

The older idol waited for the younger ones to leave before approaching Tzuyu who was standing in the middle of the studio waiting for Mina to finish talking to the Director. Lia was the last of the younger idols to bid farewell for the day. Jihyo couldn’t help but linger her gaze towards the way Lia places her hand on Tzuyu’s forearm before the CEO pushed it off exasperatedly. She heard a giggle come out of the ITZY member’s mouth as Tzuyu did so. She felt her heart tighten at the scene unfolding in front of her. Her heart ached more when she saw how Tzuyu rolled her eyes and scoff at the girl before pushing her towards the elevator jokingly like they were old friends playing around.

It shocked her. As far as she knew, Chou Tzuyu the CEO of this empire was not the type to be friendly or even share a conversation with anyone who wasn’t Mina, Dahyun or Chaeyoung. So the sight of Tzuyu joking around with Lia made her heart sink. She remembered what Tzuyu told her back in the café. She didn’t date. That’s what she told her.

Is Lia changing all that?

What happened next left her perplexed. Maybe she was just overthinking things. Jihyo wasn’t so sure. Jihyo heard Lia say her final good bye to Tzuyu and the CEO turned her body towards her stuttering secretary beside her. What the CEO didn’t notice was the younger idol turning to look towards Jihyo’s general direction. They locked gazes for a while, longer than what was deemed comfortable but Jihyo didn’t back down.

She didn’t know what the younger idol’s deal was and she didn’t know if she wanted to find out. She had too much emotional issues to deal with and she wasn’t about to add a typical fame-fuelled idol competition in it. After a long while, Lia gave her a conceited smirk and proceeded to walk towards the elevator and leave.

She was beginning to think it isn’t just a typical idol fame-fuelled competition.

It confused her to no end. But if what she was thinking was right, then Lia must’ve found out about her and Tzuyu’s past relationship. She shook all those thoughts away for now as Jihyo decided to bid farewell for the day. The studio was starting to feel suffocating and she needed fresh air before she dry heaves. So she silently made her way to Tzuyu.

“Daepyo-nim?”

She didn’t know why she expected or at least hoped for Tzuyu to greet her enthusiastically but she felt saddened when all she received was a blank pensive stare from the tall girl. It was out of the ordinary for her to be so nervous around Tzuyu. She wasn’t used to bowing down to the younger girl but she was a CEO now and had more authority than her. It dawned on her that for what she did, bowing was just a miniscule thing. She deserved to kneel and beg. She knew that.

In her peripheral vision she saw Mina walking towards them so she knew she had to hurry up since she was aware of how the Japanese woman despised her.

“Thank you for taking care of me during the shoot today, Dapeyo-nim. I’m going to go ahead.”

Jihyo bowed deeply as she saw Tzuyu bow her head in return.

“You did well today, Miss Park. Till the next shoot.”

That was the same thing the CEO told her when the first shoot ended. That was also the first thing she heard from her after 18 months of complete silence. She wondered how Tzuyu acted so professional with her. Like they had no past whatsoever. Meanwhile, here she was looking like a stuttering mess. She gave Tzuyu one last soft smile before walking towards the elevator and down to the ground floor lobby.

Jihyo didn’t expect it when she saw Sana patiently waiting on one of the plush couches in the lobby fiddling nervously with her fingers. Jihyo walked up to the girl and Sana stood up as she saw Jihyo approach. The girls hugged before Jihyo placed her hands on Sana’s shoulders to calm her down. “Were you waiting for me?”

The Japanese woman shook her head before taking Jihyo’s hands in hers to find comfort. “I’m waiting for Tzuyu and the girls. I wanted to take them out for dinner maybe. Is she in a good mood today?”

She squeezed her friend’s trembling hands as she tried to calm her down. “She’s in her usual mood. CEO Chou, you know? Take a deep breath, Sana-yah. I hope dinner turns out well. I have to head out first and drop by the company. Are you okay staying here alone? I can wait with you if you’d like.”

Jihyo watched as Sana took a deep breath before squaring her shoulders. With a determined spark in her eyes, Sana squeezed Jihyo’s hands.

“I’ll be okay. I just want my Chewy back.”

The idol smiled encouragingly before dropping their joint hands.

“Then go get your Chewy back.”

...

“Who did you say was waiting?”

“Minatozaki Sana, Daepyo-nim.”

Tzuyu exchanged glances with Mina and Chaeyoung as the two were busy preparing their documents for their upcoming business meeting with other officials regarding other business ventures. The CEO wasn’t needed in the meeting seeing as this was a matter to be handled by the Executives and those under their departments. Tzuyu was just planning to sort out some papers and drink while waiting for them to go and get Dahyun from work but this sudden visit by Sana wasn’t one she expected.

The secretary left the office and left the three girls alone. Mina placed her documents back down the table as she stood in front of Tzuyu who was sitting in her desk chair while sipping whiskey.

“First of all, put that down. Second, do you want to just send her off? Chaeyoung and I can’t face her right now. This is an important meeting.”

Tzuyu put the glass of whiskey down begrudgingly before rubbing her temples. Mina softened her stance as Chaeyoung crossed her arms in front of her. They knew Tzuyu wore this untouchable mask on during the day but at night when she wasn’t in front of strangers and it was only the four of them, she always took it off. Just like everybody else, she gets worn-out.

They all knew what Sana was here for. Tzuyu knew that her friends are worried that she couldn’t handle being with one of their former friends alone and without their presence to comfort her. She felt like such a child who would always be shielded and protected by Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung. She didn’t want to seem like she couldn’t handle herself alone.

Tzuyu felt a hand place itself on top of hers as she looked up and saw Chaeyoung smile at her in comfort before feeling the shorter girl squeeze her hand gently.

“We can just tell her to come back some other time, Chewy-yah.”

Mina’s soft voice both comforted and wounded her. She was so patient with her. So sweet and nurturing. She wanted to show them that she’s made progress. She wanted to prove to herself that she can handle situations on her own. Tzuyu knew it was about time. She needed to be strong as well, not just her friends.

Tzuyu didn’t know how to feel about Sana. It hurt her of course. Sana was one of her first closest Unnies. Both coming from foreign countries and both with polar opposite personalities made them even more compatible. Sana was one of the first people who she felt comfortable being vulnerable with. A common thought that troubled her all throughout the eighteen months of silence was the question ‘Why?’ it ran through her mind painfully.

Anguish. Betrayal. Disbelief. That was all she felt for months when she thought about Sana. Did Sana think she was not enough as well? Is that why she helped Jihyo replace her with someone else?

Tzuyu thinks it’s time to find out.

“I’ll go. It’s about time anyway.”

...

To say she was nervous was an understatement. Sana felt like her lunch from earlier today was coming right back up. The front desk associate has been eyeing her for a while now probably checking if she was going to vomit all over their pristine couch since she’s looking paler than usual. She knew what she was getting herself into. Asking the girls for dinner was like throwing herself to the wolves but she’d endure it just to have the opportunity to express her remorse or just even be in their presence for a short while. Even if it meant breaking her heart once again seeing Tzuyu look at her with empty uninterested eyes.

She saw the security guards by the entrance stand impossibly straighter if that was even possible and the staff around the lobby stiffen as they heard strong footsteps come out of the elevator. Sana looked up to see Tzuyu walk confidently towards her with her expressionless face and a commanding air surrounding her. If she didn’t know any better she’d assume Tzuyu was a model by the way she was dressed or the way she carried herself. She would never get used to this side of Tzuyu.

Sana stood up unsteadily from her seat as Tzuyu stopped a feet away in front of her with the CEO looking down at her due to their height difference.

“Why are you here?”

She didn’t know why a single question from Tzuyu made her want to break down and just throw her arms around the girl in search for comfort but it did. It was the first thing she heard from the girl ever since she came back from Taiwan. Their last encounter left her stunned up till this day but Sana was grateful that at least this time Tzuyu talked to her even though she said it with a harsh tone she’ll still accept it.

“Tzuyu-yah, I was wondering if you and the others are free for dinner? I-I just really wanted to spend time with you girls. Don’t worry I won’t talk if you don’t want me to.”

She watched as Tzuyu just stood there calm and composed in her stylish business outfit. It seemed like an eternity but it was just a couple of seconds before Tzuyu placed her hands inside her long gray overcoat and spoke with a low steady voice.

“Mina Unnie and Chaeyoung are in a meeting. Dahyun Unnie is at work. I, however, can waste time on you.”

It perplexed her how Tzuyu can spit out cruel words without her voice wavering in the slightest. She’s always been the most savage out of the 9 of them but this was a new side of the girl she didn’t know existed. Sana took a deep shaky breath and remembered that she deserved this cold treatment. It must’ve took her too long to reply as she heard Tzuyu heave a deep sigh before raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her.

“I’m already volunteering to waste my time on you. Are we getting dinner or not?”

“Y-yes please. Mianhe, Tzuyu-yah. T-Thank--”

Tzuyu didn’t let Sana finish what she was saying before turning around gracefully and making her way towards the elevator. Mid-way, Sana was still rooted on her spot nervously as she watched as the CEO sharply stop walking before looking over her shoulder.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

She was brought out of her daze and immediately stuttered an apology as she scurried her way beside Tzuyu on the way to the elevator going down. Sana stood in shock the moment one elevator opened and even though there were other employees who were waiting first, they all moved aside to let Tzuyu take the ride. Before she could get left behind again, Sana hurriedly stood beside the CEO as the elevator door closed.

Tzuyu looked straight ahead maintaining her perfectly straight posture as she reached out to press for a certain floor going down. Sana couldn’t help but stare at Tzuyu’s perfect side profile as she admired how mature her features have gotten in a span of just eighteen months. Sana flexed her fingers, if this happened months ago, she would’ve entangled their fingers tightly and clung onto Tzuyu’s arm like she would normally do.

But this was not months ago and this was not the same Chou Tzuyu she knew.

She didn’t even ask the girl where they were going. Sana didn’t mind as long as Tzuyu agreed to even spend time with her.


	11. CHAPTER X1

She clenched her fists inside the pockets of her gray overcoat as she led them inside the parking lot towards her car. She was not comfortable in the slightest as Sana walked a few inches away from her but nevertheless Tzuyu remained as stoic as possible as they stopped in front of her luxurious car before unlocking it and proceeding to open the driver’s side.

“I’m not riding public transportation”

With that, Tzuyu slid into the driver’s seat and revved up her car as she watched Sana slowly open the passenger door and slide inside the seat before closing it gently. The moment Tzuyu heard Sana’s seatbelt click in place, she immediately pulled out of the parking lot and drove out of the building towards her new favourite pub just half an hour away from the city. If she was about to endure this conversation then she might as well be drunk doing it. Tzuyu heard Sana shuffle uncomfortably in the passenger seat before hearing the Japanese woman’s unsteady quiet voice.

“I-I actually wanted to take you to our favourite restaurant but i-im more than okay for you to choose a restaurant you want to go to, Chewy-yah”

Tzuyu tightened her grip on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. Fortunately, they were currently at a red light or else she’d either drive faster or would’ve swerved a little due to her irritation.

“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”

It was dead silent for a while before Tzuyu heard a silent sniffle beside her. She wasn’t so sure if it was a sniffle but she didn’t want to turn her head to find out. So she kept on driving. Tzuyu couldn’t pin point why but she was irritated. Irritated because she volunteered herself to do this. Irritated because she felt the longing radiating from Sana. Irritated because no matter how hard she tried to forget, Tzuyu can’t overlook the fact that the girl beside her chose to help break her heart.

Her best friend. Her Unnie.

So she drove. Faster and faster. She was probably breaking the speed limit but she didn’t care.

_It was 3 in the morning. Her head ached from all the reading she’s been doing. Tzuyu was in her humble apartment finishing up her paper to pass later this morning. It was small but it was more than enough for her seeing as she lived alone. She was in her 3 rd year of college hustling through her classes. Her friends were here earlier and forced her to watch a horror film with them even though all of them were not good with horror. Namely, Jeongyeon, Dahyun and Momo. _

_Her girlfriend, Jihyo, wasn’t with them due to the older girl getting kidnapped by a panicking Nayeon for their upcoming exams in a couple of days from now. She was lucky that they took pity on her and after a movie and take-out dinner they left her apartment around 10 in the evening. So since 10PM she’s been reading and writing her paper and Tzuyu was more than ready to plop back into bed._

_Before she could, Tzuyu heard a distinct sniffle coming from the outside of her door. At first she thought how all the horror movies Dahyun forced her to watch started like this so of course she panicked. But after a while of listening to the sniffles gradually turn into silent sobs she knew it wasn’t a murderous ghost wanting to kill her._

_It was Sana._

_Hurriedly, Tzuyu made her way to the door and threw it open. What she saw broke her heart. A sight she never wanted to see especially when it was one of her friends. It was Sana sitting on the ground be her door. Her Unnie was sobbing into her jacket as streams of tears left her eyes. The first thought Tzuyu had was to find the person who did this and maybe break their nose but the moment the older girl lifted her head and looked into Tzuyu’s wide concerned eyes all violent thoughts flew away. That didn’t matter anymore. What mattered is the sobbing girl on the floor._

_So she bent down and gathered Sana in her arms gently before lifting her up and carrying her to her bed seeing as she didn’t have a couch. Sana clung to her like she would disappear in any moment and it broke Tzuyu’s heart. Her Unnie looked so fragile and she was shaking in her arms. The Japanese girl didn’t let her move away from her when she placed Sana gently on her bed._

_So she didn’t. Tzuyu sat on the edge of her bed. She took Sana’s shoes off and faced her before reaching towards her nightstand and pulling out some tissues as she proceeded to wipe her Unnie’s tears._

_Sana looked at her. Looked into her eyes. Maybe for comfort. Maybe for assurance. She wasn’t sure. But Tzuyu held onto her Unnie’s gaze. Never did she break the eye contact they had. She was an introvert so she knew how to talk in silence._

_Tzuyu wasn’t the most affectionate person. She didn’t have a lot of friends in Taiwan and neither did she have a lot here in South Korea. She didn’t know how to comfort people._

_So she did the only thing she knew._

_Tzuyu gently pressed her forehead against Sana’s, eyes still locked and pushed with little pressure onto the Japanese girl’s forehead to let her know she wasn’t going away. She was here. Hopefully, her Sana Unnie knew that. So when Tzuyu felt a gentle push from Sana’s forehead onto hers she knew Sana did._

_It lasted for a while. Neither of the girls speaking. Basking in the silence in the dead of night. Tzuyu watched as Sana slowly stopped sobbing silently and her tears stopped streaming down her face. It was still silent. Like a blanket of comfort she threw onto her Unnie. Tzuyu knew not to push. She wanted her Unnie to tell her the problem on her own time. Sana broke the contact first, she buried her face into Tzuyu’s chest as the younger girl wrapped her arms around the unusually silent girl._

_“I-I should’ve listened to Momo. Eunha wasn’t good for me. She was furious when I broke up with her. We were in her car. She was mad. S-she drove too fast, Chewy-yah. I was so scared. She was driving so fast. I begged for her to slow down. But she didn’t. W-we almost got into an accident. She still didn’t stop.”_

_Tzuyu tightened her arms around Sana’s shaking body as the older girl recalled her evening. She could’ve been hurt. She listened attentively as Sana told her how Eunha eventually stopped driving when a couple of cars honked at her loudly. She listened as Sana told her how she begged to be dropped off and how the Japanese girl walked all the way towards Tzuyu’s apartment. Tzuyu buried her nose into Sana’s hair thanking every deity there is that the Japanese woman made her way safely to her. Ever since then Sana always searched for and held onto Tzuyu’s hand whenever they’d ride a bus or a cab that drove a little too fast._

_Ever since then Sana knew she’d always have Tzuyu’s hand to hold._

In her peripheral vision, she saw the Japanese woman close her eyes shut and grip onto the side of her seat as Tzuyu drove above the speed limit. She remembered. A pang of guilt hit the CEO as she saw how stiff the woman was. Sana was terrified. She knew that for a fact as she watched how the Japanese woman breathe raggedly.

So she dove slower. She was mad at her but she wasn’t a monster. She knew everyone had their own triggers and she wasn’t about to use one to her advantage just for vengeance. Her heart ached for the older girl beside her. Now she knew the pain of break ups and she understood what it was like to carry a piece of fear with her even after all this time.

She heard a shaky sigh come from beside her as she saw Sana visibly relax before fiddling with her fingers. Normally, she’d offer her hand to hold.

But for the first time she didn’t.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Tzuyu said quietly with all the strength she could muster not to stutter. Her face still remaining stoic without glancing beside her. Without Sana knowing, Tzuyu turned another direction away from the pub she was about to go to. Maybe going to the pub could wait another evening.

“I’m sorry too” It was silent and shaky. Almost a whisper but Tzuyu heard it. She knew the weight of the words coming from Sana’s mouth. It wasn’t just saying sorry for calling her Chewy. She was saying sorry for everything she’s caused. Tzuyu knew that. She didn’t know what to say or how to respond. So she remained silent.

Tzuyu parked in front of the little hole in the wall Japanese restaurant they used to frequent back in college and stepped out of her car. She waited for Sana to do the same before locking the vehicle and walking inside. It was still the same. She remembered how she loved going here with her Japanese Unnies. It was always so quiet. The place wasn’t large. It was small but it was the type of vibe that she liked. Cozy. Not at all packed with obnoxious teenagers trying to post everything on instagram. She loved it and she was pleasantly surprised to see the place staying the same after more than a year.

Tzuyu walked to the very back of the restaurant and took a seat against the wall. She watched silently as Sana timidly sat across from her and waived over a waiter both already knowing what they wanted to order. They’ve been here numerous times to know the menu so that didn’t take too long. It was already past 6PM and Tzuyu was starving from the work she did all throughout the day.

It was silent up until the food came and she watched as Sana visibly lit up and clapped at the sight of food in front of her. She remained as stoic as possible even when she was eating her food. Tzuyu figured she should eat faster knowing that the moment Sana brings up the topic of their past her appetite would fly out of the window.

“I’m really sorry Tzuyu-yah.”

Tzuyu sighed. She thought she could have at least a couple more minutes of eating. So she put down her chopsticks and took time sipping from her iced tea before looking into Sana’s apologetic eyes.

“I know there’s no excuse for what I did but I’m really sorry. I was the last to know before you did and I regret it deeply knowing I could’ve told you but chose not to. Every day for the past months it ate me up inside not knowing where you were or how you were doing. I’m so very sorry please know that.”

“What exactly do you want from me Sana?”

“I want my Chewy back.”

Tzuyu saw the hurt in Sana’s eyes when she didn’t call her Unnie. She knew the effect it had on the girl knowing she’s been de-ranked in her life. Suddenly the restaurant felt suffocating. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to hear it. But she knew that she should. She tried to run away from them for more than a year. Clearly, fate didn’t want her doing that so she was thrown back here in South Korea.

“You’ll never get her back. You know I wanted to thank you for lying to me all those months ago. If it weren’t for all of you I would’ve remained as the same vulnerable, broke, fragile and stupid little girl.”

She said it with as much control as she could muster. She didn’t want to shout inside the restaurant. That wasn’t her style. So she spoke lowly. Quietly. Darkly. But with so much dominance that surprised Sana and herself.

“Look at me. Really look at me. I’m not your Chewy. Not anymore. I agreed to eat here so you can see the difference of the girl you used to drag along all those months ago and the girl you’re sitting in front of right now.”

She didn’t know what came over her. But she didn’t care. She smirked down at a silently shaking Sana who now had a hand over her mouth trying to choke back a sob as Tzuyu maintained eye contact with her.

“Be proud. Because I am. I’m the aftermath of everything you’ve done. So look at me. Look at what you’ve helped create.”

Her smirk never faltered even when she saw Sana’s tears stream down her face. Tzuyu leant back into her seat as she watched Sana reach out for a tissue.

“Y-you’re wrong. Y-you’re still my Chewy. You’ll always be my Chewy. Your Unnies just weren’t thinking like Unnies that’s why you are the way you are now. But I know you’re still in there.”

Tzuyu scoffed at the older girl and crossed her arms in front of her.

“Yeah clearly you weren’t thinking like an Unnie. You weren’t thinking at all. More like Jihyo’s minion.”

Tzuyu was done with this. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to go here all alone. She reached for her pocket and pulled out a couple of bills that more than covered for their meal and put it on the table before standing up gracefully and hurriedly walking outside into the cold dark night. One thing she liked about this restaurant was that it wasn’t near the busy city. The streets were quiet and not much people were around. The air was cold as it hit her burning face and she was really grateful for that right now as she felt her emotions wash over her like a strong wave.

She was about to open her car door when a pair of quivering arms encircled it’s way around her waist and Sana’s shivering body clung to her tightly. Sana buried her face into her coat as she tucked her head under the CEO’s chin.

Tzuyu didn’t hug her back.

“P-please don’t go. Don’t leave like that again.”

She was shivering. She didn’t know if it was because of the cold or because she couldn’t keep her emotions in check anymore. So Tzuyu raised her head towards the sky and breathed deeply willing her tears to stop.

“But you left me first, Sana. You left me in the dark. H-how could you?”

It was to no avail. She felt the familiar feeling of pain bubbling inside her chest and overwhelming her senses. Tzuyu clenched her fists as she felt a single tear stream down her face.

“I know and I’m sorry. I’m here now, Chewy-yah. Unnie’s not going to leave you. Not again. Please believe me.”

Tzuyu felt two cold hands cup her cheeks and gently guide her face down as she locked eyes with a crying Sana. She watched as the Japanese woman stood on her tiptoes again like she did the first time she saw her in the studio after so many months. She watched as Sana pressed her forehead onto hers and she watched as more tears made its way down the older girl’s face.

That didn’t help her composure at all. She felt her heart ache in her chest as she felt Sana apply a little more pressure on her forehead.

“The first time I did this a few weeks ago, you didn’t push me back. You drove slowly earlier for me. You took me to this restaurant like you used to do when we were younger when you noticed I had a bad day.”

Tzuyu watched as Sana gave her a soft shaky smile and she felt as Sana caressed her cheeks. She felt a couple more tears stream down her face.

“You’re still my Chewy.”

“Chewy 2.0” Tzuyu said with a steady voice. She watched as Sana now fully sobbed again but now in relief.

“T-thank you”

Tzuyu felt as Sana let go of her cheeks and wrapped her arms around her neck instead with their foreheads still pressed together. Tzuyu still didn’t hug the older girl back. But she didn’t pull away either.

“I promise to make it up to you till the day you can call me your Unnie again, Chewy-yah”

She didn’t know what to say. She was still reserved but she knew Sana was being genuine. She wasn’t ready to fully forgive nor trust the girl yet. So she didn’t hug her back.

Instead, Tzuyu gently applied a small amount of pressure as she pushed her forehead back onto Sana’s lightly like she would do before. She knew the message was received when Sana tightened her hold onto Tzuyu’s neck.

...

Jihyo couldn’t get Lia’s smirk out of her thoughts even when she saw Sana sitting on the lobby of Chou Inc.’s couch after the shoot. Jihyo left Sana on the couch as she made her way out of the building. The idol was about to hail a cab but she heard someone calling her name from behind her.

“Jihyo Unnie!”

Jihyo turned around to see Lia skipping her way towards her and stopping in front of her as the younger idol held onto her forearm. Jihyo returned Lia’s smile as she asked why the girl was still here.

“I was waiting for you Unnie. Do you want to get dinner or even just coffee with me? It’s been a while since we hung out.”

It wasn’t uncommon for Jihyo to go out with other rookie idols like herself but something in the back of her head told her this wasn’t one of those casual hang outs. She gave Lia the benefit of the doubt seeing as she really did have a good friendship with the younger girl so she quickly agreed. Both of them hailed a cab and sat inside as Lia gave the driver directions towards a small coffee shop that wasn’t that well-known.

Jihyo insisted to pay for the cab and Lia let her as they both climbed out and swiftly entered the café before anyone could recognize them. The idols decided to take the seat at the far back of the café to be safe as they ordered and waited for their coffee and pastry to be served.

“How are you Unnie?”

Lia was sweet. But she sounded sickeningly sweet. Yet Jihyo once again pushed that thought aside and smiled at the younger girl in front of her.

“I’m doing well. I’m starting to write a couple of songs for my next comeback. How about you?”

“I’m doing great actually. Are you going to write another break up song?”

It was said so casually that Jihyo was taken aback at the blunt question. She raised her head to the waiter who placed their food and coffee in front of them and waited till he was away before looking into Lia’s eyes that glinted with something she couldn’t put her finger on. She knew it wasn’t just an innocent question.

“What do you mean?”

Lia smiled at her again. A smile too sweet to be deemed innocent. She watched as the younger idol tucked a stray hair behind her ear as she giggled before sipping her coffee. Jihyo felt the hair on her arms stand up at the sight.

“Are you going to write another break up song about Tzuyu again?”

She was speechless. Still, she held her ground and sat up straight as she faced Lia head on.

“What are you trying to say, Lia-ssi?”

Jihyo’s gaze hardened as she continued to watch Lia sip on her coffee like it was a casual hang out. Maybe for the younger idol it was.

“I’m just saying that if you’re still planning to serenade her back into your arms then I won’t make it easy for you, Unnie. Because I’m here to take your place. For good.”

Jihyo froze. She didn’t know what to say. Admittedly, she still loved Tzuyu deeply but she wasn’t going to chase after the girl who clearly isn’t all so fond of her. She planned on begging for forgiveness and working on building their friendship again before doing that. She respected Tzuyu too much to beg the girl to get back together. So she didn’t understand why Lia was doing this.

She saw how Lia’s eyes twinkled under the light of the café. How the girl casually called her out like it was nothing while giggling and smiling at her yet her words were the far opposite of what she’s showing. If it was a tactic to scare Jihyo away then she won’t fall for it.

Jihyo firmly believed in fate. She believes fate let people cross paths for a reason. People separate for a reason. She believes when fate brings their paths together again it was meant to stay that way from the very beginning. She was not about to let go of her belief.

So she smiled sweetly back at Lia as she sipped her own coffee. Her face remained unfazed as she squared her shoulders. Jihyo’s eyes hardened at the sight of Lia not backing down as well.

Jihyo knew what it was like to lose Tzuyu and she can’t afford to go through that pain again.

...

It’s funny how a night can contain two different events for two different people.


	12. CHAPTER XII

“Are they going to start bombarding me after this?”

“I’m sure they won’t. We know how busy you are and how much terrifying it is to see you nowadays.”

The conversation was hushed like they were afraid of breaking the comforting silence that surrounded them. Tzuyu would never admit it out loud but she missed having the Japanese woman in her arms. Sana hurt her and she’s still hurt by her but Tzuyu knew she cared deeply for the woman because even after all this time Sana still had such an effect on her.

However, she wasn’t a fan of being vulnerable in front of other people who isn’t Mina, Dahyun or Chaeyoung anymore so Tzuyu scoffed and attempted to push Sana’s shoulders away from her. The Japanese woman has been wrapped around her body in the middle of this cold street in front of the restaurant for about half an hour.

“Get off. It’s cold.” She said with as much dominance as she could. Tzuyu felt Sana shiver before reluctantly letting her go. She was highly impressed by herself, she didn’t sob like a child or crumble as much as she thought. Tzuyu maneuvered her way around Sana and unlocked the car before slipping inside. She then watched as Sana scurried around the car and slipped inside the passenger seat. The CEO let her car run so the heat could kick in as she felt her fingers about to freeze from standing too long outside.

“Why did you hide it from me?” she said. It was quiet. Hushed. But she knew Sana heard her.

Tzuyu faced straight ahead. Forcing her features to remain stoic as she waited for Sana to talk. The only sound they heard was the gentle hum of her car’s engine.

“I was the last one to know. I found out a week before you did. By that time, Jihyo has been seeing him on and off for a month. Please believe me when I say that I did try to tell you. Momo stopped me, saying that it wasn’t my business. That we shouldn’t meddle. She said that Jihyo told her that she was planning to stop seeing the guy. That maybe she would do it soon. We never knew why she didn’t go through with it sooner. I didn’t know what took her so long. So I didn’t do anything. It’s a lame excuse. Not that I can excuse myself from it. I rarely saw you. I didn’t know what to do or say. So I just didn’t do anything. I regret it every day. I’m so sorry Chewy.”

It took her a moment to digest everything. She didn’t speak. She didn’t need to. Some of the things she heard were new information to her ears. She didn’t think even her Mina Unnie knew about some of those things. So she just nodded and started driving towards the main city.

“Where do you live? I’ll drop you off.”

This time the ride back to the city was better. Tzuyu felt a little weight from her heart lift as she drove comfortably towards the address Sana gave her. She could see from her peripheral that the older girl has been staring at her with a soft smile on her face. She could feel it. Sana’s longing. Her love. Her regret. She felt everything. However, she made sure to remain stoic and not reciprocate the sweet gesture. She was still guarded and no one could blame her for it.

Although, she was glad she listened to what Dahyun told her all those months ago, a week after she came back to South Korea.

_Tzuyu laughed at the sight. It was rather entertaining really. She missed this. Spending time with her friends. Who knew the day would come where she can outdrink both Chaeyoung and Dahyun. So here she was, standing at the end of her bed after carrying and depositing a passed out Chaeyoung on her mattress. She watched as Dahyun clumsily made her way towards the bed as well, the older girl somewhat still capable of finding a bed to pass out on._

_It has been a very interesting evening. Both older girls indignant to Tzuyu’s claim that she built up her alcohol tolerance while she was in Taiwan. So the evening went from the three of them trying to drink as much alcohol as possible to laughing at random things and then quickly escalating as the two older girls cried and became too sentimental while Tzuyu watched and listened as she tried to fight back her own tears. Tzuyu’s only saving grace for the evening was secretly vomiting in the restroom halfway through their drinking marathon which made her less drunk compared to DubChaeng._

_They were a trio. School meal club. When one goes crazy, the others follow suit. When one of them cries, the others would bawl their eyes out in response._

_She mentally praised Mina’s instincts to not get involved in this rather crazy evening. The older girl probably sensed things would be too crazy to handle thus she just excused herself before anything happened earlier that evening after dinner saying something about Nintendo Switch or something of the sort before kissing Tzuyu’s forehead and making her way out of the penthouse._

_Tzuyu made her way to her friends and tucked them in properly before a small pale hand lifted itself and proceeded to pat Tzuyu’s head like she was a dog._

_“I know deep inside that steel heart of yours, you’re scared. I don’t want you to be scared and I don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Listen to wise Dubu, yeah? The way we get through our fear is to confront it. So as long as you keep running from it you’ll never heal, Chewy-yah”_

_Dahyun drunkenly slurred at her as the older girl stared into Tzuyu’s eyes with as much love and seriousness the drunk girl could muster. Tzuyu started to contemplate if Dahyun was really drunk or not but she didn’t have to think further when the pale girl started talking about tofu and passed out a minute later._

Tzuyu smiled to herself. Who knew that her Dubu Unnie had some wisdom hidden inside her?

...

She knew it wasn’t necessary for her to do that to Jihyo. It was like starting a war. A war that she would gladly participate in since she started it anyway. It excited her to be completely honest. The thrill of it. Of winning a prize. A _very_ attractive prize. So after they ate their pastry and finished their coffee, Lia took another cab towards Tzuyu’s place but not before sparing Jihyo a sweet smile on her way out.

She’s loving the privilege of having the freedom to pester the CEO knowing that Jihyo couldn’t do what she can. Lia’s going to make sure it’s going to stay like that. Permanently.

Tzuyu’s been telling her non-stop not to randomly pop up at her place but of course she’d do the exact opposite. There’s something satisfying about riling the CEO up. They way her perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrow in annoyance at her and her lips form a rather adorable pout unconsciously. It made her want to drag Tzuyu to the nearest room and let the CEO take out her frustrations on her. But she knew she couldn’t. At least not yet. Patience was a virtue after all. They’ll get there eventually. Hopefully.

If she played her cards right.

There was something satisfying about putting up a fence around the CEO. Making sure she would be the only one to get to her. Really, she wanted to be there just to make sure Tzuyu wasn’t bringing anyone else in her penthouse. She saw Tzuyu’s car leave her company building hours ago with a blonde girl.

She didn’t like it one bit.

She just finished trying to ward off Jihyo, she didn’t need more women to scare off in her list. Lia was still trying to figure out how to stop Tzuyu from being so touchy and affectionate with her gamer friend. She always forgot her name. Mina, was it? She wasn’t comfortable with the way Tzuyu naturally just gravitated towards the woman and even letting her kiss her cheek or forehead. The idol furrowed her eyebrows at the image flashed in her head.

Again, she didn’t like it one bit.

What pleased her recently was that she knew for a fact that Tzuyu’s been bringing home less and less random girls to her penthouse ever since their very deep one on one all-nighter conversation. So that’s a win for her.

Giddily, she made her way inside the building and up to the penthouse. She knew Tzuyu was home. She called her on the ride here. Tzuyu sounded tired on the other end of the phone but Lia thought to herself, she wouldn’t have the heart to kick out sweet innocent Lia now would she? Of course not.

So the idol knocked on Tzuyu’s door and smiled widely when she saw the CEO open it. She sauntered inside the penthouse and placed the cans of beer and a bottle of whiskey she brought from a store nearby as she giggled innocently at an annoyed looking Tzuyu.

 _Hot_.

“Rough evening? It’s only 10PM, Daepyo-nim! You’re in luck because I’m here to cheer you up.”

Lia watched as Tzuyu groaned in annoyance before sitting beside her on the couch and opening the bottle of whiskey.

“You’re lucky you bought alcohol or else I would’ve kicked you out. I’m running out of stock.”

Lia smiled to herself. Mentally patting herself on the back as she continued watching Tzuyu who was now running her fingers through her long dark hair. She seemed pensive tonight. Suddenly Lia frowned to herself yet again. Was she thinking about that blonde woman in her car earlier? Is she the reason why Tzuyu wasn’t paying attention to her?

She didn’t like that one bit.

So she sauntered towards the CEO’s room without permission earning a loud groan of annoyance from the older girl.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

She stopped in her tracks and smiled sweetly over her shoulder.

“I decided to stay here for the night again so I might as well change into comfy clothes, Daepyo-nim. I’m sure you have pajamas I can borrow. Or would you rather I just wear my underwear?”

Lia laughed as she watched Tzuyu stare at her with an unamused look before shooing her away. She hasn’t been inside Tzuyu’s bedroom but she knew where it was. The wide penthouse had an open floor plan for the kitchen and the living room while only the master bedroom was secluded.

Lia happily wandered inside the minimalist yet luxurious bedroom and made her way towards the CEO’s large walk in closet. Humming happily she took her time and grazed her fingers along the fabric of the CEO’s clothes before making her way to the sleep wear portion of the room.

Lia smiled to herself. She can’t wait till every piece of sleep wear here smelled like her. She was going to make sure that happens sooner or later. Preferably sooner rather than later. So she stripped and let her clothes fall on the floor before picking one of Tzuyu’s black hoodies that was too big for her as it covered all the way down to her thighs and a pair of gray jogger pants. Smiling at the way Tzuyu’s clothes were comfortably hugging her figure, she walked outside the closet. 

The idol walked out of the master bedroom and into the living room. She watched as Tzuyu downed a full glass of whiskey before refilling the glass. _Poor thing._ She thought to herself. The CEO had the television on but her eyes were glazed as she stared at it, clearly not watching.

She knew everything there is to know about Tzuyu’s past thanks to that faithful night at the bar. So she knew Tzuyu was lost in her thoughts yet again. Lia smiled to herself _._

_Good thing I’m here now, Daepyo-nim. I’ll gladly help distract you._

She wanted to be the center of her thoughts. The receiver of all her affection and Lia doesn’t share. There was just something about Tzuyu that she couldn’t place a finger on. Maybe Lia liked the idea of ‘changing the bad girl’. She wasn’t sure. She was only sure about one thing, Lia wanted to be the person Tzuyu goes to whenever she’s sad, happy or for just simple mundane things. Lia wanted to be Tzuyu’s _person_ and knowing her issues was the first step to gaining her trust. All thanks to that all night conversation they shared.

Good thing Tzuyu ‘ _ran’_ into her that night at the bar.

_“You’re too smitten.”_

_“What’s not to get smitten about?”_

_“Okay she’s very attractive but Unnie you can’t just ‘accidentally’ bump into her. This isn’t a movie.”_

_Lia pouted as she watched Ryujin massage her temples beside her. Their 2 nd shoot for the mobile advertisement was finished earlier this morning and she knew there were other idols who were shooting in Chou Inc. as of the moment but it was already around 7PM so surely they were finished?_

_“Look, as the leader I say let’s just let her do it. Her little crush will fade eventually. It’s her first one anyway. Chaeryeong, we did a stake out for you when you had a crush on someone from GOT7 too. Ryujin, I remember I let you drag us to the cafeteria whenever Stray Kids were there even though we weren’t at all hungry.” Yeji said drowsily before falling back to sleep, her other members following suit._

_After their shoot, ITZY went on other schedules for the afternoon but as soon as they were over, Lia whined and pouted for a good hour just to convince her members to wait for a while outside Chou Inc. just to see if the CEO would go finish work anytime soon._

_They planned on getting dinner before figuring out where to hang out for the evening so the other members just shrugged and let Lia tell their driver to park in front of Chou Inc. They were all tired from their schedules so they figured they could catch a little nap while Lia goes on with her odd little crush. After all, they were teenagers and what better way to celebrate their hard work than hanging out or dining out somewhere._

_Fortunately, Lia didn’t have to wait for a long time when she saw a rather expensive looking car make its way out of the building’s underground parking. She praised all the deities she knew when she saw that the car didn’t have that good of a tint on it and she could clearly see Chou Tzuyu driving inside._

_She squealed making Yuna groan in annoyance, before tapping their driver’s shoulder and making him follow Tzuyu’s vehicle stealthily. She watched as the car made its way towards a familiar bar that she knew. Her members always went to this bar since it’s a bar where idols frequent. Lia breathed a sigh of relief. Bars are always a fun place to ‘accidentally’ bump into someone and it was a bonus that Ryujin and Yuna actually suggested going to this bar earlier._

_Win-win._

“Well don’t gulp it like its water.” Lia said giggling as she made her way beside the older girl on the couch. She lifted the bottle of whiskey and saw that it was almost halfway done.

“Daepyo-nim!” she gasped as she watched a cheeky smile appear from Tzuyu’s lips before the CEO lifted her glass and sipped from it.

The evening went by like all other evenings she spent here. Before she knew it, it was already a couple of minutes past midnight. They drank and ordered take-out. They talked. Tzuyu talked about work as usual. She also talked about Mina as usual. Something about the Japanese woman being alone right now with her girlfriend visiting her parents. Also something about the CEO sleeping at Mina’s place instead and knowing about how bad Mina’s anxiety got when she was left alone.

Lia couldn’t care less.

She wasn’t going to let Tzuyu leave her here. She wanted it to be a lovely evening with just her and Tzuyu. It bothered her that even in Tzuyu’s intoxicated state, she still had the clarity of mind to think about her friend. Tzuyu was just friends with Mina right? As far as she knew, the woman was in a relationship with that smaller woman, Chaeyoung. She wished Tzuyu would think about her like that.

This evening was going to be different. The idol glanced at the empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table. Tzuyu was drunk and Lia was spending the whole night here for the second time.

She loved how fate always benefited her.

They must be meant to be right? Of course. That made her smile deep inside. So to take Tzuyu’s mind off of her friends and work, the idol steered the conversation away. She made Tzuyu teach her something in mandarin instead. Effectively making Tzuyu excited. She knew how the CEO lit up when they talked about anything regarding Taiwan and her culture there.

“Yan jing, Bi zi, Zui Chun.” Tzuyu drunkenly slurred at her wearing a soft smile on her normally stoic face. So Lia enthusiastically tried to copy the CEO sometimes mispronouncing a couple of words which Tzuyu quickly corrected for her.

Tzuyu let out a small laugh before drunkenly pointing to her eyes.

“Yan jing.”

Pointing to her nose.

“Bi zi”

Pointing to her lips.

“Zui Chun”

Lia laughed at her. She was so silly to try and teach her the basic body parts. She felt like she was in kindergarten. _Cute_. She watched and followed diligently as Tzuyu kept repeating it.

“Yan jing. Bi zi. Zui Chun.”

When the CEO was satisfied with Lia’s decent pronunciation she started humming a tune that was oddly familiar. Lia couldn’t put a finger on it but she was sure she’s heard it before. She pushed the thought aside for now.

“Eyes, Nose, Lips.” She heard Tzuyu say softly.

Lia let her eyes linger on Tzuyu’s features. She was so beautiful. She’s such a sweet girl, her eyes twinkling while reciting something in mandarin. It made Lia want to kiss Tzuyu right then and there.

So she did.

Lia leant forward and placed a kiss on the corner of Tzuyu’s mouth before pulling back and smiling sweetly at her. Tzuyu’s eyes were glazed over. Mostly due to the alcohol she quickly consumed. She watched as the CEO’s eyes darken considerably but she didn’t move. That made Lia slightly disappointed but again, patience was a virtue. The idol smiled comfortingly at the older girl in front of her when Tzuyu leaned back against the couch.

“Bed time?”

Lia giggled when Tzuyu groaned complaining about being dizzy and nodding at Lia. She stood up and gently pulled Tzuyu up as well making the CEO drape her arm around the idol’s shoulders as they made their way inside the bedroom.

With her smaller stature, Lia was proud when she successfully guided and tucked Tzuyu in bed. She placed her hands on her hips just simply admiring the passed out CEO. That would be a pleasant sight to see each and every night. _Soon_.

Lia’s thoughts were interrupted by Tzuyu’s phone that was on the night stand as it notified her rather loudly of an incoming voicemail. She furrowed her brows and pressed the button to play it, hoping it wouldn’t be too loud to stir Tzuyu awake.

“ _C-Chewy-yah? Where are you? C-Can you sleep here with me tonight? I-Im sorry for being a hassle. I know you’re tired. M-my anxiety has been hard to handle tonight. I-I just really need you right now. Please. Chew—“_

Lia scoffed. It was Mina. _Again_. She immediately deleted it. Anxiety attack? Such a unique excuse. She rolled her eyes before turning Tzuyu’s phone off. One more thing she liked about the CEO was that she only had a couple of friends so she didn’t need a passcode. Lia smiled before turning the lights off in the room and going under the covers and snuggling herself into Tzuyu’s chest.

It was a lovely night after all.


	13. CHAPTER XIII

Her head was throbbing a little. Not pounding. But still uncomfortable. Sunlight peeked through the gaps of the curtains of her ceiling to floor windows that occupied the whole wall on the side. Cold and silence engulfed the penthouse as the sun rose for another Sunday morning.

She felt sluggish. A shower would be great right about now. She can’t believe she got drunk just because she drank a whole whiskey bottle in just an hour. She could remember that perfectly. She’s never going to do that again. Yes, she had a liver of steel but her body still took a toll on it especially when she didn’t eat properly and was already exhausted all day.

It’s never a good thing to wake up sluggish on a Sunday morning. It took her a moment to fully grasp her surroundings. That’s when she noticed an unfamiliar weight on her body and a _very_ strong strawberry scent fill her senses.

Tzuyu crinkled her nose.

She was sure this isn’t Mina or DubChaeng. She didn’t go out drunk and get a random girl right? Mina’s going to kill her if she did. Her Unnie never liked when she drove drunk even though she told her how she got used to it by now. Her heart swelled with affection at the thought of her ever so concerned Unnie. Tzuyu wondered if she got through the night alright alone without Chaeng.

Her thoughts got cut off when she remembered the night before. Sure enough, the strawberry scent came from none other than Lia herself who has been laying on Tzuyu’s chest for the whole night. Tzuyu furrowed her brows in contemplation. They didn’t have sex did they? She couldn’t remember.

Tzuyu lifted the warm sheets that was covering their torsos and breathed in relief when both of them were fully clothed. The girl was attractive and if she didn’t tell the girl her history then she would’ve dragged Lia to bed in an instant. But the girl was like a good friend to her. Listened carefully to her struggles. It just felt off for Tzuyu to think about.

It’s an unusual occurrence for someone other than Mina and DubChaeng spending the night with her. So this was actually a big deal for Tzuyu. She still wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. The light that shone through the gaps of Tzuyu’s curtains hit Lia’s slumbering features. This gave Tzuyu time to look at the younger girl. She seemed peaceful. She couldn’t deny that the girl was rather adorable. Her weight wasn’t all that suffocating.

Did she take care of her? Did she have trouble with her last night? She hoped not.

She wracked her brain for some clue as to what ruckus she made Lia go through. That’s when it hit her. She wasn’t a ruckus but she was such an emotional silly drunk that’s for sure. She remembered the whiskey bottle. How she downed it in no time. She remembered talking Lia’s ear off about work and Mina. How the Japanese woman was left alone for the night and how it made Tzuyu worry. She remembered how Lia kissed the side of her mouth. How Tzuyu wanted to just throw away all logic and drag the girl to bed like any other random girl she brought home to help her forget about one certain idol.

She remembered the young idol asking her for mandarin lessons. How she perked up at teaching someone her mother tongue. She remembered her drunken-self pointing onto her face like an idiot. Most importantly, she remembered how out of all the things she could’ve taught Lia, she chose ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips” the song Jihyo wrote for her. She remembered. She remembered how she hummed the song that’s been stuck in her head the moment she heard it.

Even in her drunken state, Jihyo without fail still managed to swivel her way into her thoughts.

Why couldn’t she just focus her attention on this lovely yet annoying idol sleeping on her chest? The more she thought about it. The more she questioned if she even wanted to focus her attention on someone else. Someone other than Jihyo.

Tzuyu reached her arm out to get her phone that was on her night stand while making sure not to jostle the girl sleeping on her. It was turned off. Tzuyu furrowed her brows in confusion. Did she turn it off last night? She couldn’t remember. Maybe she did. After all, she couldn’t remember anything after teaching Lia ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ and the idol kissing the side of her mouth. That was the farthest her memory could take her.

So Tzuyu just shrugged, maybe she did turn it off. No one would contact her on a Saturday evening anyway other than her friends. She turned it on and saw no notifications. That made her breathe easily. No one contacted her.

Lia stirred on top of her and she watched as the idol slowly opened her eyes, shielding it from the sunlight. She didn’t want to say it out loud but it was kind of cute. But of course, just when she thought she could offer her affections for someone else, her heart ached at the mere thought of it and her mind was racing. It was something she has been trying to deny even to this day.

It wasn’t as cute or as heart fluttering as waking up next to Jihyo.

Frustrated, she pushed the thought away when Lia caught her staring. The idol immediately sporting her usual bright smile and reaching her hand up to pat the CEO’s head gently.

“Good morning, Daepyo-nim. No hangover headache?”

Tzuyu just shook her head. She watched as Lia rub the sleep off her eyes and lean over to place a giddy kiss on Tzuyu’s cheek. Before she could react in some form of disgust, Lia stood up and skipped her way outside the bedroom.

“Go take a shower, Daepyo-nim! I’m cooking breakfast!”

Tzuyu groaned and went to shower anyway before joining the idol in her kitchen with her phone tightly clutched in her hand. She couldn’t really get mad at the girl when she’s cooking for her this early in the morning so Tzuyu just sat on the island counter and watched as Lia placed a plate of eggs, bacon and bread in front of her before sitting across her with her own place.

“Eat well, Daepyo-nim!”

“Why are you so chirpy so early in the morning?”

Tzuyu raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow before eating her breakfast. Lia just giggled in front of her before shrugging. Tzuyu lifted her gaze and was taken aback at how Lia’s eyes bore into her own with so much affection and mischief. There was something else hidden in the idol’s teasing eyes. Something else she couldn’t recognize. Something she couldn’t yet put a finger on.

“It was a lovely evening and now it’s a lovely morning. It’s about to be a lovely day as well. Isn’t that enough reasons to be chirpy?”

How the idol made it sound so raspy yet sweet and cuddly, the CEO would never know. Lia tilted her head to the side teasingly as Tzuyu just watched her display a playful smirk on her usually grinning lips. Lia’s never acted like this in front of her. Sure, the girl always gave subtle innuendos but she always did it with her sweet and innocent attitude. This was something else and Tzuyu couldn’t quite grasp it yet but she knew it was something different. She just settled for the fact that the idol was being more straightforward with her and that’s that.

So she ignored it like she always did and continued eating her breakfast.

“By the way, did you hear my phone notify for anything last night? Just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything important just in case it was for work or my Unnies.”

Lia just happily drank from her glass before shaking her head at her. She watched as Lia tried to recall anything from the previous evening with her brows furrowed in contemplation.

“Not really, No. I was busy learning mandarin from a very drunk CEO”

Tzuyu scoffed before picking up a table napkin and chucking it at the giggling idol in front of her. Maybe mornings like this weren’t as bad as she thought and maybe she really did just turn her phone off drunkenly. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to have a lovely evening and a lovely day.

Maybe.

Just when she thought her morning couldn’t get any more unusual, after eating breakfast and taking her time in the shower Lia refused to leave her penthouse and suggested they lounge together for the day.

“Shut up and stop whining. I was planning on going to my Mina Unnie so you need to leave soon.”

There it was. There was that look in Lia’s eyes again. It was just so _possessive_. That’s what it was. It was something she hasn’t seen from the young idol. Her thoughts were confirmed when Lia plucked Tzuyu’s phone out of her hand and placed it behind her on the couch.

“I’m sure she’ll be alright with just one Sunday without you by her side.”

Tzuyu didn’t move. Even when she saw Lia slowly move her way towards her, place herself timidly onto Tzuyu’s lap and encircle her arms around the CEO’s neck. She sat stiffly.

“Surely she wouldn’t mind would she?”

It was like she was in a trance. Or maybe because she hasn’t had anyone to sleep with for the past few weeks with the idol coming to her place more often but Tzuyu’s mind was starting to blur and her logic was still asleep from the night before.

A very strong scent of strawberry filled her senses that it clouded over her mind completely. So she just sat back as Lia moved her fingers to caress the back of her neck and place each of her legs on either side of Tzuyu’s hips so that she was effectively straddling the CEO.

“She wouldn’t mind. Right, Daepyo-nim?”

Lia started shaking her head sweetly as if coaching Tzuyu how to answer correctly to her question and Tzuyu just followed suit. Before she knew it, Lia held onto Tzuyu’s hands and placed it on top of her own thighs as she felt the younger girl pepper kisses onto the side of her mouth before placing a long kiss onto her lips. The CEO groaned when Lia pulled back to smile sweetly at her again and Tzuyu’s half-lidded eyes gazed into the idol’s sweet glinting orbs.

_Yes, I think Unnie wouldn’t mind._

...

Tzuyu walked into her office at 6am on a Monday morning. It baffled her when Mina didn’t text or call her yesterday. She was _busy_ with Lia but she made sure to keep her phone open in case of any notifications. She even got a text from Chaeyoung saying she made it home safely last night. Mina always contacted her and it was rather unusual for Tzuyu to hear nothing but silence from her usually concerned Unnie especially knowing that Chaeyoung wasn’t with her that Saturday evening. She would always invite her to Sunday brunch or just simply to hang out with Dahyun. Tzuyu made a mental note to ask Mina how she was doing but right now she had business to attend to and employees to jostle out of their lazy stupor.

Hours seemed to pass by quickly and before she knew it, it was already 10am when Tzuyu left her office for a meeting with her Executives. The moment she left her office, Tzuyu immediately saw Chaeyoung leaving her own office right beside Tzuyu’s. The shorter girl bounded over to her and gave her a small hug before making their way 2 floors down towards the conference room. On the way there, the young CEO couldn’t help but notice the absence of her Japanese Executive.

“Chaeng? Where’s Mina Unnie?”

The shorter girl looked up at her and sighed.

“Maybe with her department team? I’m not sure, Chewy-yah. She’s been rather silent and elusive since I came back last night. Didn’t she spend Saturday night with you or Dahyun?” Chaeyoung said equally as confused as her tall friend.

Tzuyu frowned in contemplation as she placed her hands inside the pockets of her capris pants.

“No she didn’t. I didn’t get a call or text from her so I assumed she was doing alright.” 

Tzuyu heard her friend sigh beside her before the pair made their way out of the elevator and into the conference room where all the other Executives were already in their seats. Tzuyu roamed her eyes around the room as her employees stood up to greet her. She didn’t bother greeting them back as her eyes landed on Mina who was diligently typing something into her laptop not even lifting her head as Tzuyu sat down beside her.

The meeting started as one of her other Executives made their way up front and pulled up the company’s monthly performance reports. For the first time, the young CEO wasn’t as interested in it as she was supposed to be. Not when her Unnie barely even spared her a glance. She turned her head to her right and watched as Mina just looked straight ahead seemingly engrossed in the presentation with her hands clasped on top of the table. Tzuyu then glanced at Chaeyoung who was sitting on the other side of Mina looking as baffled as Tzuyu as to why her girlfriend greeted her but not the CEO.

Tzuyu tried her best to focus on the reports and presentations but her focus kept on propelling back to the nonchalant woman beside her. She just sighed and pushed it at the back of her head to revisit when the meeting was over. 

Finally after a gruelling hour and a half, Tzuyu immediately left the room followed by Chaeyoung and by default, Mina. Seeing as they all were going to the same floor anyway. The entire way up to the topmost floor was still as baffling for the two younger women as they watched Mina quietly walk beside them. They had a routine, Mina would always breath check her every morning to see if she smelled like whiskey and then proceed to berate or pout at her saying how she didn’t like when the CEO drank at this time of the day.

But today? Nothing.

The moment the elevator opened to their floor, Mina walked hurriedly towards her office and left the two younger women behind. Tzuyu frowned and watched as Chaeyoung gaped beside her before looking up at the CEO.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you but you should fix it right now before it drags through the entire day. Also, come find me when you’re done so we can get lunch.”

That was all Tzuyu got before Chaeyoung scurried towards her own office clearly scared of silent Mina. In all honesty, Tzuyu was scared as well. A loud angry Mina was better than a silent one and Tzuyu was about to figure out if Mina was really angry or not. She seemed more hurt than angry but that wasn’t a better scenario either.

Timidly, Tzuyu knocked on Mina’s door before slipping inside and closing the door behind her.

“Unnie?” Tzuyu said softly. Mina just hummed at her, not bothering to lift her eyes from her desktop. So the CEO just stepped forward till she was directly in Mina’s line of sight across from her desk.

“Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”

If it were someone else, Tzuyu would’ve just gotten on with her day not really caring but this wasn’t just someone else. This was Mina.

Tzuyu was nervously waiting for Mina’s reply as she fiddled with her fingers like a child being scolded. The Japanese woman stopped typing. She heard Mina sigh before lifting her gaze up to her. Tzuyu’s heart ached.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Mina looked at her with a mixture of sadness and disenchantment. She’s never had any misunderstandings with the older girl and she wouldn’t wish for one to happen between them if this was the look that Mina would give her. 

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

Tzuyu gave her Unnie her best puppy eyes praying that it would dissipate the heavy atmosphere that was uncomfortably looming over them. It felt suffocating and that wasn’t the usual emotions she had when she’s with her.

Tzuyu sounded so soft, pathetically so, like a kicked puppy as if she didn’t just grill a number of her Executives not even 10 minutes ago. She locked gazes with her Unnie and felt her heart lift considerably when the older girl shook her head amusedly before standing up and slowly making her way in front of her.

“I’m sorry, Chewy-yah. Sometimes I forget that you have your own life too. You have other people to be with as well. I’m not your responsibility.”

_I’m not your responsibility?_

That made Tzuyu furrow her eyebrows and step closer to her Unnie. Cautiously, Tzuyu wrapped the woman in her arms. She felt Mina sag into her as the she tucked herself under Tzuyu’s chin. Tzuyu sighed in relief. Enveloping Mina in her arms always calmed Tzuyu down so she was elated when the Japanese woman didn’t resist.

It was such a quiet conversation. Fragile. Hushed. Both of them unsure as to how to approach one another. Tzuyu knew it was something serious if they talked in such a soft tone. Now that Mina was closer to her, Tzuyu dropped her voice lower into a softer whisper.

“I don’t understand Unnie. What are you saying?”

Mina sighed sadly before raising her hands and gripping onto Tzuyu’s coat. The CEO nuzzled her Unnie’s temple and placed a gentle kiss onto her skin. She frowned when she felt Mina stiffen in her hold. That wasn’t the effect she was hoping to emit. It wasn’t something Mina has done. Usually, the Japanese woman would coo whenever Tzuyu gave her affection.

“You don’t have to pretend that you didn’t hear it, Chewy-yah. I won’t get mad that you didn’t respond.” Mina said sadly at Tzuyu and lifted her chin to give the CEO a solemn smile.

The moment Mina lifted her face to gaze at her, Tzuyu saw it. She saw how her Mina Unnie had dark circles under her eyes. How her usually sparkling orbs seemed to have been sunken. Her heart ached at the sight of her usually composed Unnie looking so _drained_. That just made Tzuyu even more perplexed and she frowned at the Japanese woman.

“Hear what? Really Unnie I honestly don’t understand.”

Tzuyu just tightened her hold around the woman when she felt Mina try to pry herself away from her maybe thinking that Tzuyu was lying in an attempt to feign obliviousness. That was not the case at all. She really had no idea what she failed to have heard. The CEO let out a whine of refusal. She’s not going to let go of Mina until they fix this and she didn’t mind looking and sounding pathetic either.

The older woman frowned at her and let herself be pulled closer to Tzuyu’s body, tucking herself back under the taller girl’s chin as she started to recall the previous Saturday evening to the baffled CEO.

“I-I was all alone last Saturday Evening as you know. I had a really bad anxiety attack. I haven’t had one that intense for a while and I didn’t know what to do. Chaeyoung wasn’t there and Dahyun was too far away for me to go to. So I left you a voicemail asking if you could come over and sleep beside me for the night like you used to do when I had attacks. I was certain that it was sent to you. My phone would’ve notified me if it didn’t.”

Tzuyu’s frown deepened as she listened to Mina silently tell her what happened. The pain and exhaustion evident in the Japanese woman’s voice. Tzuyu kept peppering small gentle kisses onto Mina’s temple as the Japanese woman talked in a hushed tone, her voice breaking a little here and there. Tzuyu felt her heart aching more and more. She then thought to herself.

_If my phone was turned off then the voicemail wouldn’t have been sent through. Unless it wasn’t?_

Her thoughts were cut off by Mina’s insecure silent voice.

“It’s alright. As I said, I’m not your responsibility. I can handle it on my own and I did.”

She hated it. She hated how Mina sounded so insecure. The older girl firmly believing that she wasn’t Tzuyu’s concern nor her responsibility. That stung the CEO’s heart knowing she caused this.

She wanted to slap herself. Maybe in her drunken state she accidentally deleted the voicemail in an attempt to reply to it. Right. That must be it. Either way she was extremely guilt-ridden. Tzuyu didn’t care for most people around her. She taught herself not to care or even pay attention to anyone else. There were only 3 other girls in the world who she valued most. Mina being one of them.

Mina has been there for her through all her struggles. She always made herself available for Tzuyu no matter what. Always ready to engulf the tall girl into her warm embrace. Yet here she was comforting a stiff Mina in her arms just because she couldn’t do something as simple as replying to a voicemail.

“Yes you are. You’re my Unnie. Therefore, you’re my responsibility.” She said with an indignant huff and her dominant tone that gave Mina no space to argue, Tzuyu grumbled against her Unnie’s temple.

“You didn’t have to handle it alone. I could’ve spent the night with you but instead I got so drunk when Lia came over with a bottle of whiskey and maybe I accidentally deleted it without remembering. I’m so sorry Unnie.”

Tzuyu kept her lips pressed onto Mina’s temple as she sincerely apologized. She hoped that the woman could forgive her stupidity. It must’ve been hard for Mina to endure the night alone and Tzuyu would make sure to do anything in her power to make it up to her.

“Who did you say you were with?”

“Lia.”

Tzuyu felt Mina nod against her chest. She felt the older woman wrap her arms around her torso quite firmly. She didn’t mind getting hugged this tight if it was Mina doing it so Tzuyu didn’t think much of the way Mina not so subtly wrapped her arms around her that tight.

What Tzuyu didn’t see was Mina raising an eyebrow at this new information.

“I don’t like it when you get too drunk, Chewy-yah.” She heard Mina mumble against her chest and she couldn’t help but smile. Even in her weakest moments, Mina still put Tzuyu’s well-being first.

“I know. I’m sorry. Can I buy you lunch?” Tzuyu said with all the sincerity she could muster as she gently placed her hands on Mina’s arms and rubbed it comfortingly. She felt the Japanese woman take a step back away from her and Tzuyu pouted at the loss of contact.

She watched as her Unnie crossed her arms in front of her before glaring albeit jokingly. So Tzuyu hung her head low as she peeked at Mina, playing along with the Japanese woman.

“I’ll let you treat me out to lunch only if you promise never to get that drunk again, Pabo.”

Tzuyu laughed and placed a gentle kiss on Mina’s forehead before holding onto her Unnie’s hand tightly as she tugged the girl towards Chaeyoung’s office so that they can go get lunch together.

“I promise.”

...

Jeongyeon was nervous. It was a cold Tuesday evening but she felt like her body was on fire as sweat started to form on her forehead. Should she just go back to the elevator behind her and call it a day? She didn’t even know what to do with her hands as she gripped onto the plastic bag that contained take-out she brought from her own family restaurant. She just knew she had to suck it up like Sana did. So she squared her shoulders before knocking onto the expensive looking double doors of Tzuyu’s penthouse.

Her charm and acting skills came in handy when she asked Tzuyu’s secretary for the CEO’s address earlier that afternoon. Feigning innocence saying the CEO gave her instructions to ask the secretary for it. Really it was pure luck that she bumped into the secretary in the company lobby as the woman was hurrying to buy the CEO her afternoon coffee.

A moment later the door opened and revealed an annoyed looking Tzuyu in gray cotton jogger pants and a black hoodie. Jeongyeon watched as Tzuyu glanced at her in disinterest and crossed her arms in front of her. She shivered when Tzuyu looked at her from head to toe. She’s never seen the younger girl do this to anyone before.

The CEO made a move to close her door but Jeongyeon was faster as she quickly placed her foot in between and held onto the door handle before it was harshly slammed into her face.

“Tzuyu _please_. Please give me time to talk to you. I-I even cooked Jjajangmyeon, you’re favorite.”

Her heart ached in her chest even more when Tzuyu scoffed at her. The pang in her chest almost choking her.

“That’s the best you could do? Jjajangmyeon?”

She hung her head low. Sana wasn’t lying when she told them how sharp Tzuyu’s tongue had been and now she was experiencing it first-hand. Hearing Tzuyu talk to her like this was something she’s never experienced before and something she didn’t know the younger girl was capable of. But she deserved it. So she swallowed her pride and raised her head to look at her dongsaeng with sincere pleading eyes.

“ _Please.”_

It was a silent desperate plea but she knew Tzuyu heard her. With a heavy sigh, the CEO stepped back and opened the door enough for Jeongyeon to come inside. When she did, her eyes widened. She was aware that the younger girl was rich even back when they were in college. They were all aware that Tzuyu was the President of her own company and that fact immediately hit her when she laid eyes on her expensive yet minimalist penthouse. It was pristine. Everything in this penthouse was evidently much more expensive than Jeongyeon’s whole family restaurant. But something else bothered her.

It was empty.

Not in a materialistic sense. It _felt_ empty. Like it was one of those interior design photos seen in magazines that were clearly not at all that homey. The only thing giving the place a little homey vibe was the penguin stuff toy that was on Tzuyu’s expensive couch. No doubt Mina’s.

_“Chou Tzuyu! Is this a storage room or a bedroom?!”_

_It was a Saturday evening as Jeongyeon gaped at the horror that was Tzuyu’s apartment. It was her first time visiting the Taiwanese sophomore when the younger girl pleaded her to help with studying. Jeongyeon was a third year student in college along with 5 others. Namely, Nayeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo and herself. Tzuyu was a year lower. So naturally, the sophomore came to her for assistance. Jeongyeon has been Tzuyu’s unofficial guardian ever since she met the Taiwanese._

_It seemed like studies weren’t the only thing she needed help with._

_The moderately-sized apartment was littered with clothes, take-out boxes and papers on the floor and on every flat surface available. Jeongyeon didn’t even know where to place the container of Jjajangmyeon she brought for them to share. She then watched as the tall girl sheepishly looked at her and scratched the back of her head innocently._

_“You don’t know how to clean, do you?”_

_Tzuyu shook her head in shame and Jeongyeon couldn’t help but coo at the girl. So she placed the container on Tzuyu’s desk as she pulled the younger girl’s hand towards the mess. She proceeded to help Tzuyu clean. Explaining patiently to the younger girl how to use a vaccum cleaner, how to segregate her trash and even how to fold her clothes neatly. It felt like teaching her daughter basic household chores but she wasn’t mad at it. Especially seeing Tzuyu wide eyed and diligently following her instructions._

_When they were finished, the room was sparkling clean and Jeongyeon puffed her chest in pride. She was always the one who had the inkling to clean and organize her space in her shared apartment with Nayeon and Jihyo._

_She then proceeded to sit cross legged on the floor with Tzuyu following suit. The younger girl’s eyes widened in delight when Jeongyeon opened the container of food. Throwing her head back in laughter, she couldn’t help but watch as she wolfed down the food appreciatively._

_“My mom used to make this for me but you cook it better, Unnie. She never taught me how to clean though.”_

_She couldn’t help but notice how distressed she sounded. The atmosphere changed from playful to solemn at the mere mention of Tzuyu’s mother. The room was engulfed in a sorrowful silence as they noticed how the night turned even colder and the streets grew quieter. Is this how Tzuyu spent her nights here alone?_

_Jeongyeon couldn’t imagine the longing Tzuyu was feeling. Being so young in a foreign country without her family beside her. It must be tough. She knew how close Tzuyu was with her mother._

_Jeongyeon couldn’t help the feeling of protectiveness that washed over her seeing how timid Tzuyu was. She’s always been the motherly type. It was quiet as they let the silence of the night engulf them comfortably. The usually loud Jeongyeon couldn’t be bothered to make a noise. Not when Tzuyu was lost in her head probably thinking about home. Jeongyeon felt her heart soften for the girl._

_So when Tzuyu closed the container and put it back in the plastic bag, Jeongyeon pulled her gently towards her and engulfed the girl in a protective hug before ruffling her hair playfully making the girl break into a pout._

_“Guess what, Chewy. I’m your official Korean Omma now and I’m going to teach you everything I know. How’s that sound?”_

_She felt as Tzuyu’s chest vibrated in laughter and the younger girl timidly nodded against her chest before wrapping her thin arms around Jeongyeon’s waist. She felt it. She felt Tzuyu’s gratitude._

_“I’d really love that”_

_Since then, Tzuyu’s apartment has been nothing but homey._

“Are you just going to stand there all night?”

That knocked her out of her thoughts and Jeongyeon gently placed the food on top of Tzuyu’s coffee table. She sat beside Tzuyu on the couch as she pulled out the containers of food and some chopsticks for them to use. She didn’t even get to open the containers before Tzuyu interrupted her.

“I’ll cut to the chase since I’m rather exhausted. What’s your brilliant excuse for lying to me?”

She didn’t expect that. She didn’t expect a lot of things but here she was witnessing a different side of Tzuyu. A darker side. A side they never even knew existed. So she slowly moved her body so she was fully facing the younger girl who looked at her in disgust.

“I-I don’t have one.” she said nervously. It was true. She really didn’t. Nothing she could say can obliterate the fault she’s made and she acknowledges that.

“So you just stood there to watch in amusement while I was being cheated on? How gallant of you.”

Jeongyeon frowned at that. Both at Tzuyu’s tone and her accusation that she approved of the affair. Yes she was silent about it and that was wrong. But she never once agreed to whatever Jihyo did.

“Chewy, I didn’t agree with it. But I acknowledge that it was wrong of me to not tell you. All I knew was that Jihyo has been seeing the guy on and off for a month before you found out. She told us that she was going to stop seeing him but we never knew why she didn’t go through with it. The night you caught her was supposedly the night she said she’d break it off with him once and for all.”

...

Why did they keep saying that? That Jihyo was going to stop seeing him yet it didn’t go through. It pissed her off. Heat rose to her face in complete anger.

That was not the point.

The point was they all stood there while she looked like a complete fool trying to mend her crumbling relationship. Her fist clenched unconsciously and her lips formed a tight line as she stared Jeongyeon down even though the older girl was already visibly nervous.

“Then why? Why did you lie to me? You. You of all people. Korean Omma? Pathetic.”

Her tone was rising considerably but Tzuyu couldn’t help it. Jeongyeon wasn’t as fragile as Sana so she didn’t care about how loud her tone as gotten.

The woman visibly flinched before hanging her head low in shame.

“I didn’t tell you because I was being cowardly. There’s no excuse. No excuse. I-I thought that maybe if Jihyo just stopped seeing him sooner then we could all forget that it happened and just carry on with our lives. Clearly I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve told you earlier so you could’ve stopped Daniel from doing what he did.”

“Doing what?”

Tzuyu’s brows furrowed in question. Her head was pounding from rage and curiosity. She saw how Jeongyeon’s eyes widened considerably. She got caught. Tzuyu knew she caught her slip of the tongue. There was something else she didn’t tell her. There were more things she wasn’t aware of. That just made her even more livid.

“H-He was adamant. So he kept booking Jihyo for gigs in his pub. He was getting friendly. Too friendly. At that time, I was the only one who waited for Jihyo after her gigs so we could walk home together. I always let Nayeon and the others walk home earlier when it got too late. But that was because I had a reason.”

Tzuyu watched as Jeongyeon fiddled with the ring on her finger and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I-I didn’t tell the others because Jihyo didn’t want me to but I saw it. I saw when he subtly kept giving her drinks every time she had a short break from singing. That’s why I kept walking her home ever since the first time I saw him do it.”

The CEO’s head was pounding. Either from the glasses of whiskey she drank before Jeongyeon came over or the information she’s trying to absorb. She wasn’t quite sure anymore.

“One night he just pulled her aside not knowing I could see them. He kissed her. By force. I didn’t get to do anything because I was too far away. But I saw Jihyo push him back and immediately went back up stage to continue her set.”

Is this a joke?

Are they playing with her?

The sight of Jeongyeon biting her nails told her it was the truth. She knew every single habit the older girls had. She knew when they were lying or telling the truth. Jeongyeon was the type to bite her nails when she was anxious or when she got cornered. She knew that for a fact.

Tzuyu was in fact cornering her.

Her fists clenched harder and her breathing became ragged as she let Jeongyeon continue talking. Not having the clarity of mind to interject the older woman.

“One night, a week maybe after she told us that she was officially seeing Daniel, Jihyo and I drank by ourselves after her set at the pub. You weren’t home, something about work, so she asked if I could stay with her that night. You know how she is when drunk. She can’t keep a secret to herself.”

At this point, Tzuyu was tired of the delay and she just slammed her fist onto the coffee table making Jeongyeon jump in shock and place a hand on her rapidly beating heart. By now her tone became darker. Angrier. She gritted her teeth as she glared into Jeongyeon’s nervous eyes.

“I don’t have all night, Jeongyeon. So spill it faster.”

The older woman nodded in fear and guilt before continuing. Tzuyu watched yet again as a flash of hurt was seen in Jeongyeon’s eyes when she didn’t call her Unnie like she used to. Right now she couldn’t care less.

“She just kept repeating how Daniel was right. He was right that Jihyo wasn’t fit for you. You were born with a silver spoon and she wasn’t. She was better off signing a contract with him so she could rise her way to fame and fortune. She was better off staying by his side because she wouldn’t need to seem so clingy for asking attention like she would do to you when Jihyo was already working in his pub as a singer anyway.”

Tzuyu was watching how Jeongyeon struggled to even talk clearly. Stuttering here and there. She, herself couldn’t move. She didn’t know how to react.

“She said how right Daniel was by saying how Jihyo didn’t need to burden the both of you by staying together when clearly you two were struggling to even pay rent or spend time together. She said all those things and the next day when I confronted her about it she just acted as if she didn’t. So I stopped. I assumed she was smarter than that to believe whatever Daniel told her. Till this day she wouldn’t admit to saying all those things to me. So I didn’t bother to insist.”

Tzuyu was absolutely livid. She didn’t know if it was because of Jeongyeon for interrupting her evening or Daniel for being unbelievably manipulative or because of Jihyo for yet again keeping another secret not only to Tzuyu but to the other girls as well.

Tzuyu reached for the glass of whiskey on the coffee table and gulped it all down in exasperation. It still didn’t change the fact that she cheated. Cheating is cheating no matter the reason. No matter the explanation, the damage has already been done.

Here they are, helplessly experiencing its tragic aftermath.


	14. CHAPTER XIV

“That’s the dumbest thing Jihyo has ever done in her life and I thought she was so smart.” Tzuyu sighed.

She’ll revisit that next time. So she gazed into Jeongyeon’s insecure eyes.

She gazed at the girl who took her under her wing back when she was still in college. She saw the girl who taught her how to stand on her own two feet. The girl who helped her survive in a country she barely knew anything about. The girl who wouldn’t let her just eat an apple because it was the most convenient thing Tzuyu could find saying, ‘you need to eat more protein Chewy’. A mother. A guardian. A friend. 

The same friend who left her in the dark not so long ago.

“You just explained what might be Jihyo’s side though. Not yours. What’s your _gallant_ excuse?”

Her voice was quieter now. Not soft. Still harsh as her teeth were gritted in anger. Her voice low. Menacing. Dark. Like stalking her helpless prey. Something she’s been hearing from herself more and more this year. It didn’t shock her anymore that she could sound so foreboding. But it shocked everyone else and Jeongyeon was no exception.

“M-my excuse is that I have no excuse. I-I admit to that. Again, I stood aside. Letting Jihyo handle it. Hoping she’d end it with him faster and beg for your forgiveness like she planned on doing. So I watched. Like everybody else did. I didn’t do anything and I’m sorry.”

She shouldn’t have been relieved to hear that. But she was. Tzuyu was an insecure woman. Always has been. Even with her arrogant aura she still tried to cover up her timid insecurities. For the past year she spent in Taiwan she’s convinced herself that the other older girls shut their mouths for one sole reason. She convinced herself that this was the main reason why they didn’t deem her worthy of a relationship with Jihyo thus shielding her affair with another man.

Tzuyu led herself to believe that they thought she’s not worthy of Jihyo. Of being in a mature relationship. That she wasn’t wise enough. She wasn’t attractive enough. She wasn’t expressive enough. She wasn’t charming enough. That she was _lacking_ in a lot of aspects.

Again, that’s what she drilled in her own mind.

Because she didn’t know. She didn’t get an explanation. To be fair, she didn’t give them a chance to explain. She just fled South Korea as soon as possible before either one of them can get a hold of her enough to explain.

Thus, the Chou Tzuyu today was everything she wanted to become back then. She was now has everything she claimed to lack months ago. Attractive. Mature. Charming. Expressive.

So hearing Sana and Jeongyeon say otherwise has given her the peace of mind that her theory was not the case at all. They had different reasons and were all far from what Tzuyu led herself to believe.

She heard and watched as Jeongyeon sniffled and cried silently beside her. Guilt and regret shining in her eyes. It felt good to her and pained her at the same time. To see them cry. To see them beg for her forgiveness. Beg for a chance to rebuild their friendship.

Tzuyu knew that Jeongyeon was aware of how betrayed she felt. She was her guardian. That was what she called herself before. That’s what all their friends called her. She was Tzuyu’s guardian. Yet the guardian didn’t execute her main purpose, to safeguard her, but rather she fulfilled the contrary. Jeongyeon knew that. They both did.

“I-I was supposed to protect you. That’s what I promised you back then. Hell, I asked you to trust me. To trust that no matter what, Jeongyeonnie will always be by your side. But I didn’t. I’m really truly sorry, Chewy. Please believe that I’m here now. I’ll always be here.”

So Tzuyu dropped her guard down. Truly exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Fatigued. Drained.

“Believe me when I say this, Chewy-yah. Unnie will be here and Unnie will stay here. Always by your side.”

She looked into her Unnie’s pleading eyes and just sighed in sorrow. Sorrow for the relationship that was broken. Sorrow for the woman who was crying in front of her. So Tzuyu found herself accepting and letting go of the fact that Jeongyeon failed to stand by her side in the past. She found herself hearing and listening to Jeongyeon as she pleaded for her to stand by her side from this day forward.

“I believe you.”

Just like that another little burden was lifted off her chest.

...

The next morning was quite a shock for the CEO. She didn’t even have time to drink a glass of whiskey like she normally did before Mina woke her up a little earlier than usual. Even though it was just a Wednesday the Japanese woman kept bombarding her phone with calls and texts all threatening Tzuyu to get ready faster or all hell will break loose. Of course, like a compliant child, Tzuyu sped her way into the shower and down to the parking lot of the residential skyscraper they lived in. The frazzled feeling she had vanished as her heart swelled seeing that both Mina and Chaeyoung were leaning against the CEO’s car waiting patiently.

She didn’t mind the rush. She didn’t mind being woken up earlier than usual. She was just elated to not see Mina ignore her like she did last Monday. So when the Japanese woman placed her hands on top of Tzuyu’s shoulder and lifted herself onto her toes so that she could touch the tip of her nose onto Tzuyu’s for their daily morning breath check, Tzuyu didn’t mind one bit. In fact, she welcomed it. It was endearing. She listened as Chaeyoung tried to stifle her laughter beside them when Mina pulled away and placed a sweet kiss onto the tip of Tzuyu’s nose before dropping back onto the heels of her feet.

“Chou Tzuyu, for the first time since you came back to Korea you don’t smell like whiskey so early in the morning.”

The CEO smiled down at Mina who beamed at her with her signature gummy smile. Tzuyu’s dimple showed as her smile widened at the sight. She felt as Chaeyoung latch herself onto her arm as the shorter woman lifted herself onto her toes as well but not to kiss Tzuyu’s nose like her girlfriend did but rather to ruffle Tzuyu’s hair in congratulations.

“I promised you, didn’t I?”

Mina giggled and nodded.

“That you did. Keys?”

She was lucky Tzuyu loved her. She didn’t like it when even the Valet Parking Assistants touched her vehicle. So with a grumble, Tzuyu placed her keys in Mina’s palm and were on their way to Mina’s favourite Japanese themed café.

The trio made their way into the quaint café. Sunlight spilled through the glass walls as it illuminated the whole café. The early morning air giving them a calm quiet feeling. Mina led them to the back where a sleepy Sana was sat in one of the tables. Tzuyu’s eyes widened at this and locked gazes with Mina silently asking for an explanation.

“After you had dinner with her, she came to us the next day. Like you, we’re still not forgiving her completely but we’re giving her a chance like what you’re doing.”

Mina sounded jovial about it and Tzuyu couldn’t help but mumble a small thank you to the deities for paving the way for her Japanese Unnies to reunite. Tzuyu watched as Sana shyly greeted the couple who chose to sit in front of her which meant the only seat available was the seat next to Sana. She watched as Sana stood there eyeing her adoringly, the sunlight hitting her flawless features making her skin glow in the early morning light. Her blonde hair also illuminating the sun making the girl look ethereal. Sana then gave her a sweet small smile before gently asking.

“Is it okay for you to sit next to me, Chewy?”

Tzuyu smiled softly. It was sincere. It felt good. She saw how Sana’s eyes twinkled even more. So she made her way beside her and sat down together. It was a pleasant early morning. She roamed her eyes around the table as the three other girls slipped into a comfortable conversation about what food to get. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help how her heart swelled in delight. She couldn’t help the smile that broke through her face and she didn’t push Sana’s hand away when it found its way towards Tzuyu’s under the table. Instead, she let her intertwine their fingers not bothering to protest. Not that she wanted to anyway.

She felt her phone vibrate in the pocket of her favourite gray overcoat and she fished it with her free hand. It was Lia.

_Good morning, Daepyo-nim. Don’t eat out with anyone else for dinner, okay?_

[6:30AM]

It was a lovely morning and she had a feeling it was going to be a lovely evening as well.

...

“I want to leave the company.”

She stood there for a good minute on an early Wednesday morning waiting for an answer but to no avail. He wouldn’t even lift his face to look at her. So Jihyo scoffed before crossing her arms.

“Daniel, I want to leave the company. The contract clearly states that I can choose not to renew my contract after a year of being here.”

Finally, he lifted his uninterested gaze towards her and leant back into his chair.

“Stop talking nonsense, Doll. You wouldn’t even have a chance to release a song if it wasn’t for me and my company. Do you even think they’d even spare a glance at you in other companies? Remember, Doll. I made you a star.”

He stood up from his seat as he was talking. Making his way slowly in front of Jihyo. The same look flashed in his eyes. The same look she saw back in the pub he used to own. The same look she saw multiple times whenever she tried to break up with him in the past. The same look. The same smirk. The same amused yet low tenor.

He was too close for comfort but Jihyo didn’t move. She didn’t take a step back. Even when his eyes bore into hers threateningly. Even when he wrapped his rough hand around her jaw and tightly gripped it like he did multiple times before.

“Without me, you’re nothing.”

This time she didn’t flinch. This time she didn’t cower under him. This time she didn’t let his words get to her. This time when he tried pulling her closer by her jaw she firmly refused. This time, for the first time after a long time, she stood her ground.

“Without you, I could’ve still had everything.”

Firmly, Jihyo lifted her hand and gripped onto Daniel’s wrist to pull his hand away from her jaw. Red marks slowly appearing on her porcelain skin.

“I’m leaving the company.”

She watched as a mixture of emotions flashed in his eyes before he threw his head back laughing as if she just said the biggest joke of the century. Daniel wiped a fake tear from his eye before inserting his hands into the pockets of his pants.

“Are you sure? Remember I still have a number of photos of you and it would be a shame for a rising idol to be involved in a _naughty_ scandal, Doll.”

Her face heated up in fury. She clenched her fists, feeling her long nails digging into the skin of her palm.

“The photos of me you took after you got me too drunk to refuse? Surely you won’t let your name be tainted just to drag me down.”

His eyes darkened considerably. Jihyo shivered when he shamelessly roamed his eyes up and down her body. Just like he always did. Like stalking his prey, Daniel moved inside Jihyo’s personal space yet again but this time with a different kind of smirk on his face.

“You know I still look at those from time to time when I miss you, Doll. I bet you miss _it_ too don’t you? The offer still stands you know, with that other trainee.”

Jihyo shivered in disgust. She could never fathom how she endured even being in the same room as this man. She remembered every time she woke up naked wondering what happened the night before. She remembered every time she accepted each and every one of the drinks he offered. She remembered feeling so down and insecure as he whispered poison into her ear while roaming his hands onto her body in her drunken haze.

She remembered convincing herself that it was alright, that what he said made complete sense. She remembered letting him drag her wherever he wanted to not finding it in herself to refuse. Because that’s what he drilled into her head. That she was better off with him. She was better off being by his side. That’s where she deserved to be, he said. Because she was no one and if she stuck with him he’ll make her into an idol worth looking at.

But that was before, when Jihyo was too undeniably weak hearted and easily swayed. Now, Jihyo remained standing still and kept her face stoic.

“You won’t release those photos. That’s too stupid even for you. Who do you think people would believe? The girl in the photo clearly being taken advantage of or the man who denies her claims?”

It felt good to finally tap back into her old self. The old Jihyo who didn’t let anybody push her around. So she raised her chin and stared deep into Daniel’s dark glinting eyes.

“I’m done.”

A few hours later in the afternoon, Jihyo confidently made her way inside the pristine doors of JYP building and not so long after that, she shook hands with none other than Jinyoung Park himself.

...

It wasn’t too bad. Being around Lia wasn’t as annoying as it was before. Maybe because they already had sex or the fact that the younger idol was being sweeter than she was compared to when they were still platonic.

They were lounging on her couch after eating the take-out Lia brought for them as Tzuyu watched as Lia held her phone in hand and was scrolling through her messages and social media accounts. Claiming that she should delete her ‘booty calls’ since she’s here to stay. She didn’t mind. Tzuyu didn’t use her social media accounts all that much anyway and her messages were always from her Unnies and from work. Or maybe she just missed this feeling.

The feeling of someone claiming her as their own.

Either way she didn’t think much of it. Too exhausted to do so. She didn’t lie to the younger girl though. She laid it all out on the table saying that she still wasn’t sure if she can be in a serious relationship with the idol. Or if she was even interested in a serious relationship in general. Fortunately, Lia just gave her a sweet smile before nodding her head in understanding. It was alright, she said. That she would wait for Tzuyu.

Maybe. Just maybe she could learn how to love Lia too. Maybe she could learn how to get used to her strong strawberry scent. Maybe she could learn how to focus solely on her like what Lia wanted.

She watched her carefully. Lia was sweet. Cute. A big ball of energy that seemed to bounce off the walls. Whimsical. Maybe it wasn’t all that bad to let the younger girl guide her into a relationship. She wasn’t too sure yet.

She didn’t know what was holding her back. Maybe she did, she just wasn’t acknowledging it.

Sensing her gaze, Lia raised her head from Tzuyu’s phone and gave the CEO a sweet smile. She heard a notification on her phone and the idol quickly checked it out for her since she’s holding onto Tzuyu’s phone anyway. The sweet smile was completely wiped off of her face in an instant.

She watched as another new emotion flashed through Lia’s face. She’s been seeing new things from the idol nowadays. It didn’t bother her too much though. Again, too tired to think about anything other than her Unnies and work. Lia’s brows furrowed, her lips formed into a tight line.

“Tzuyu, who’s Sana? Why is she asking when she could see you again? _‘I love you, Chewy’_?”

A tone she hasn’t heard before came out of the idol and surprised Tzuyu faintly. Lia raised her flaring eyes to lock onto Tzuyu’s nonchalant ones. She didn’t think anything about it though.

“Tell her she can drop by whenever she wants but to inform me when she does.”

Lia raised a perfectly sculpted brow at her. Tzuyu inwardly chuckled. No matter how intimidating Lia seemed to project herself she just looked too childish to Tzuyu. If Chaeyoung didn’t tell her that Lia was 22 then she would’ve mistaken the idol as a teenager for sure.

“Why would you let her go here whenever?” 

Getting tired of the insistent questions, Tzuyu made a move to pluck her phone out of Lia’s hand but the idol was faster, hiding the phone behind her back and full on eyeing Tzuyu. Tzuyu watched tiredly. She was too exhausted to have such a gruelling conversation.

“Why is that such a problem?”

She saw a Lia’s eyes change into something softer. The idol now placed the phone on the opposite end of the couch away from Tzuyu before straddling her thighs. Tzuyu felt Lia’s arms encircle her neck and watched as the idol lean forward to put her mouth against Tzuyu’s ear.

“Because I’m the only one who should go here whenever I want to. Isn’t that only fair, Daepyo-nim? I’m the only one you’re fucking so I should get to have some kind of ground rules.”

Before Tzuyu could protest, Lia effectively muffled all her responses as she claimed Tzuyu’s lips in a passionate lip-lock. Soon, clothes were thrown haphazardly on the floor as the pair made their way into Tzuyu’s bedroom. The argument effectively pushed aside.

For now.

Tzuyu insists that it was a lovely evening after all when she was dominantly placed on top of the sweet idol.

Needless to say, it was an eventful Wednesday for everyone.


	15. CHAPTER XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do listen to 'Let It Go' by James Bay!

_From walking home and talking loads  
To seeing shows in evening clothes with you  
From nervous touch and getting drunk  
To staying up and waking up with you_

It was another unfamiliar place. Another unfamiliar building. Moving into the JYP dorms was a must when you’re a new artist so here she was. Laying on her new bed in her new fully furnished dorm. Alone. That part wasn’t all too new. Neither was her mind drifting back to old memories. Old scenarios she kept close to her heart. It wasn’t all too new. So she succumbed to the pull in her mind. Closing her eyes to the whirlwind of her thoughts.

She remembered back in her junior year in college, how one foreign student insisted in walking her back to her shared apartment even though the younger girl’s place was in the opposite direction.

_“What’s the point of you guys calling me a puppy when I can’t walk you home?”_

She found it endearing. Sweet. She was the Unnie yet here was this young foreign girl walking in the cold of night just to make sure she got home safe. They talked about anything and everything. The streets were bare with a few cars driving by. The stars were clear and the shops one by one came to a close as they walked by. Occasionally falling into comfortable silence with just both of them enjoying the cold silent night. At first they would walk a safe distance apart. Stealing shy glances. Thinking the other wouldn’t notice. Memorizing each and every curve of the other’s features hoping to engrave it in their minds till the next time they see each other again.

Sooner than later they would gravitate closer. Like they always did. Bumping shoulders and cheeks flushed. Blaming it on the cold. They knew it wasn’t the cold. Gradually their knuckles would brush against each other’s. Both not knowing how to progress from there. One moment Jihyo’s hands were freezing from the night’s cold air then gently and ever so softly a warm hand and longer fingers intertwined itself with hers. She watched as the younger girl stared straight ahead as if nothing was happening. She watched as a small smile appeared on Tzuyu’s face when she let the younger girl place their intertwined hands in the depths of her coat’s pocket. Just like that, they gravitated closer to each other. Like they always did. And yet again, they blamed it on the cold.

They both knew it wasn’t just that.

A year later after her junior year, Jihyo recalled. Mornings weren’t her favourite thing. She hated it. Ever since her first year in college. Waking up and leaving the comfort of her warm bed. She never understood early birds. She was in her last year in college yet she still whined like a freshman when forced to wake up early.

But maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

It wasn’t all that bad when she got to see Tzuyu’s dimples in an ungodly hour of the morning greeting her with another day. It wasn’t all that bad when the sweet girl would nuzzle her neck like the puppy that she is leaving Jihyo with a blooming warmth in her chest. It wasn’t all that bad when the early ray of daylight would gently caress Tzuyu’s skin making her glow gently as the younger girl stared into Jihyo’s eyes early in the morning.

When the world was still silent, when time seemed to be running slow, when the gentle light bounces it’s way off of her lover’s sweet brown orbs and illuminated her porcelain skin, when her ears were graced with the first words she’d hear each and every day without fail whispered sweetly and calmly against her lips _‘Good morning, Jihyo Unnie.’_ and when she was peppered with small kisses of early morning greetings, she thought to herself maybe it wasn’t all that bad. She decided to herself all those years ago.

Early mornings weren’t all that bad with Tzuyu.

_Now we're slipping near the edge  
Holding something we don't need  
Oh, this delusion in our heads  
Is gonna bring us to our knees_

They said the world was an oyster that everything the light touches was hers for the taking. It was everything every new graduate wanted to believe was true.

It wasn’t.

Jihyo watched as her big dreams of rising rapidly to stardom crumbled. She wasn’t getting as much gigs as she anticipated. Wasn’t getting as much recognition as she hoped. Wasn’t getting the inspiration to write nor sing like she used to. She watched everything she held dearly crumble in front of her eyes.

She was dubbed as ‘God Jihyo’ and yet here she was failing to shine amongst every other idol hopeful she met. The lacklustre in her eyes grew alarmingly deep as time passed by making her desperate. Desperation then added with guilt when she saw how Tzuyu took two jobs just to compensate for the money she couldn’t produce. She watched as the younger girl came home fatigued each and every day. Each and every day her desperation ate her whole.

_From throwing clothes across the floor  
To teeth and claws and slamming doors at you  
If this is all we're living for  
Why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore?_

Then she met him. Claimed to be an up and coming CEO. Gave her a job. It wasn’t enough to pay the bills but it was all she had. So she stuck with it. Even when he came too close for her liking. Even when the job took time away from her and Tzuyu. Even when the small voice at the back of her head told her he was whispering poison in her ear.

Maybe just maybe if she could climb her way up to stardom she could provide for both her and the younger girl’s needs like she was supposed to. Like she hoped she would. Maybe if she stuck with him long enough she could become worthy of Tzuyu’s love. By becoming an idol. Someone who people look up to.

But then it started. He started whispering things in her ear. Every time she had a break from singing. He would slip her a drink. Then he would start talking. Smugly. Self-Assured. Like he believed everything he said was the absolute truth.

Her self-esteem wasn’t as intact as it was in college and her desperation clouded her judgement too much. All of this paired with her growing insecurities. It was a recipe for disaster.

He knew that. Daniel knew what he was doing.

Then she began believing that Daniel was right. Tzuyu was suffering because of her. Tzuyu deserved more than her. Tzuyu was just holding onto her because she was pathetic for trying to reach her idol dreams only to fail multiple times and that made Tzuyu pity her. Pity. Daniel said that was one of the main reasons Tzuyu hasn’t left her yet. Because who would date a nobody? Only ones who pity them enough to stick by, that’s what Daniel said. She was a desperate singer trying to reach stardom. That’s all that she is, he said. After hearing it over and over again. She started to believe him.

Her insecurities. Her guilt. Her desperation. All paved way for multiple fights. Multiple arguments. Multiple tears. Multiple make ups. Multiple nights tending to each other’s onslaught of tears. Multiple times she watched Tzuyu come home late and leave a little too early just to go to work. Multiple times it killed her to see.

She didn’t know why the younger girl was suffering in her stead. She didn’t tell her. She didn’t know. Surely her parents would’ve given her a job? Whenever she asked it was always the same answer.

_“I want to be successful because I worked for it, Unnie. Not because I have my parents to propel me there.”_

She always said it with a smile. With tired eyes. But she never saw Tzuyu waver. And that killed her. It killed her to know that the younger girl was sacrificing so much for Jihyo’s dream. Revolved her whole world around her not even sparing a glance at her own expense. When she asked her why she was doing it, she would be met with the same answer.

_“Because all I want is for you to be happy. If being an idol makes you happy then I want to help you achieve that.”_

_Everything that's broke  
Leave it to the breeze  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me_

A year and a half dragged on after that. Both making names for themselves. Both achieving their worldly dreams. Both apart. But both crossing each other’s paths again.

Which brings her back to today. Park Jihyo laying in her new dorm at JYP Building. Staring at her ceiling trying to be familiar with the new space. She watched as the clock turned 2:00AM. It wasn’t all too new. Unable to find peace nor sleep wasn’t all too new for her. Especially now with the new information that was not so subtly thrown into her face.

_“You’ll love it here. We even have our own cafeteria! It has vegan options if you’re into that stuff, Unnie.”_

_Lia jumped excitedly in her place as she helped Jihyo fold some clothes neatly on her bed as the other ITZY members nodded in their spot on the floor. Jihyo was currently in the process of moving into her dorm inside JYP building and of course ITZY took it upon themselves to help their Unnie and serve as her tour guide for the meantime. The older idol was grateful for their help and she didn’t mind that the younger girls were inside her dorm for the majority of the afternoon._

_It turns out, the cafeteria was quite as excellent as they bragged it to be. Jihyo and all of ITZY spent dinner chatting amongst themselves and it was going well before Yeji snickered beside her while eyeing Lia who was sat across from them._

_“It’s a miracle you’re here, Lia Unnie. You’ve basically been stuck by Daepyo-nim’s side for so long.”_

_The rest of the younger idols giggled in their seats as they continued on munching their food. Jihyo however was a different sight to see. She felt her heart drop yet again. The sound of Lia’s giggles sent shivers up her spine. She didn’t want to lift her head. She felt it. She felt Lia’s gaze on her. So she took a deep breath and made sure not to let any emotions show as she continued on eating her dinner albeit quietly this time. Lia was smirking at her the whole time. Not once did it drop. Not once did it soften._

_She knew it was coming. She knew the girl would rub it in her face. So when Lia offered to walk Jihyo to her dorm and let the rest of the girls go on ahead, the older idol couldn’t do anything but go along with it._

_So there they were, standing in the middle of Jihyo’s dorm as she watched Lia cross her arms in front of her with her smirk still intact. Her eyes were glinting and her chest was puffed. Jihyo sighed. She just wanted to rest now. The younger idol made her way towards her small couch and made herself comfortable. Leaving Jihyo who was still standing in the middle of the room._

_“I just wanted to inform you of the good news Unnie. Tzuyu and I are quite stable right now. Isn’t that great?”_

_She just watched her. She watched Lia giggle to herself. She didn’t know what her deal was. Why she was so adamant about rubbing it into Jihyo’s face or just blatantly coming at her like this._

_In all honesty, she wasn’t expecting for Lia to move this fast. She and Tzuyu were stable? She wasn’t expecting that. She wasn’t expecting to be tongue tied either. Her vision was starting to get blurry and her chest was starting to constrict painfully. It hurt. It pained her. It pained her seeing Tzuyu happy with someone else. She’s happy isn’t she? She hopes so. It would be worth it, all of the pain would be worth it if Tzuyu was genuinely happy in Lia’s arms. She’d accept it. As much as it would kill her._

_She needed Lia to leave the room before she breaks down but that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon as she saw Lia lean back into the couch further._

_“I know you were her first, Unnie. I’m just here to ask for some tips, maybe? You know, her cute little quirks I should know about. Since I’m going to be spending as much time with my Tzuyu as I can.” Lia giggled while staring at her nails in faux interest._

_Jihyo watched Lia lift her gaze and lock it with hers. She saw how the younger idol’s smirk deepened in satisfaction when hurt flashed through Jihyo’s eyes._

_Jihyo closed her eyes. She blocked out the image of Lia and replaced it with the old memories of Tzuyu back when they were still together. She took a deep breath. She smiled forlornly and let her vision blur as she recalled Tzuyu’s little quirks._

_When she opened her soft blurry eyes, she locked her gaze with Lia’s mocking ones._

_“S-she likes to eat at night. She’ll wake you up even though you’re fast asleep to ask if you’re hungry but in reality she just really wants you to come with her. She likes to cook ramen in the middle of the night. Go with her. Eat by her side.”_

_She couldn’t stop it. The lone tear that travelled its way down her face. The way her voice was shaking and stuttering at the same time as she choked out the words. She couldn’t stop it anymore. Then she saw how uninterested Lia was with what she’s saying. Mocking. That was the only thing present in Lia’s eyes. Satisfaction. That was what the younger idol was feeling as she watched Jihyo sob in defeat. But still, Jihyo continued. Hoping the younger idol would listen to her for Tzuyu’s sake._

_“When she gets cold she doesn’t want you to turn the a/c down so make sure you always have her favourite puppy socks with you. The ones with the ears popping out. Stay by her side. When she goes home each day she’ll always have a new dog video to show you, make sure you laugh with her okay?”_

_She smiled sadly at Lia. But she hoped the younger girl at least listened to what she was saying. If it was real. If they were stable._

_She wanted her to take care of Tzuyu properly._

_Jihyo didn’t once see Lia’s smirk drop. She didn’t once see the mocking in Lia’s eyes soften. Instead, the intensity in the younger idol’s eyes was heightened with a look of pure anger. She couldn’t comprehend it. Why Lia got angry with her when she was sobbing in front of her. She watched as Lia stood up from her seat and made her way in front of her only to scoff and cross her arms._

_Gone was the Lia who masked her intentions through cute giggles and sweet smiles. She dropped that mask now in front of Jihyo. She couldn’t recognize Lia now as she stood in front of her eyes ablaze. Smirk deepening. Arms crossed. She didn’t recognize the voice that harshly addressed her._

_“That’s it? That sounded awfully pathetic,_ Unnie.”

_Jihyo was taken aback. Lia didn’t care. She didn’t even listen to her. So she composed herself and wiped her tears as she stood straighter towering over the younger girl._

_“You asked for me to tell you. Don’t ask for advice if you won’t listen. Just promise me one thing, Choi Lia. Don’t ever hurt her.”_

_Lia laughed. Not the usual demure giggle she always did. It send shivers up Jihyo’s spine but she didn’t back down. She remained unbothered. Her face was matching Lia’s challenging ones and her stance was dominant. She always pushed aside the eerie bad feeling she had about Lia but now that she’s seen it. She knew not to trust her._

_Lia raised an eyebrow at her and kept smirking. “What would you do if I did? Hmm?”_

_It was her turn to scoff. She eyed Lia up and down making her falter for a moment. Jihyo moved closer to the younger girl and leant her head down to level her eyes with the younger idol’s wide ones._

_“I’m getting my Chewy back. For good.”_

_So come on, let it go  
Just let it be  
Why don't you be you  
And I'll be me_

So here she was. Lying in bed at 2AM in the morning. Eyes puffy from crying. Mind racing from all that’s happened. Heart determined and hopeful.

All those months that they were apart, Jihyo kept justifying that it would be best for Tzuyu to be away from her. She wasn’t worthy. Of love. Of Tzuyu. That they were better off apart. But everything she’s seen and witnessed ever since she step a foot inside Chou Inc. told her otherwise.

Everything she’s done while they were apart was in desperation to find herself again. To find the Jihyo whose eyes twinkled at the melodies of songs. To find the Jihyo who was inspired by the smallest of things. To find the Jihyo whose hands itched at the opportunity to keep writing down her own songs and melodies. Because she lost herself. The moment she watched Tzuyu leave their apartment was the moment she lost everything. She lost her heart, her mind, her drive.

Because when she left, Tzuyu took it with her.

One thought played in her thoughts all throughout the dead of night.

_I’m not me without you._

...

It was a couple of minutes past 9 in the evening when Lia made her way to Tzuyu’s penthouse. Good thing she knew where the CEO left her spare keys and hid one for herself in case of emergencies. Tonight was an emergency. She just got done talking to Jihyo and it wasn’t a pleasant conversation so she made her way to the only place she knew where Jihyo couldn’t follow her. Tzuyu’s place.

A smug smile made its way onto her face as she entered the penthouse. It was dark. Tzuyu wasn’t home? Maybe she could just wait for her in bed. Yes, that was a pleasant idea. The young idol dropped her bad onto the coffee table before making her way into the kitchen to get herself some refreshments. She smiled to herself when she walked past Tzuyu’s growing collection of whiskey and rum bottles courtesy of herself. She liked how aggressive the CEO was in bed whenever she was intoxicated so she made sure to supply her a decent amount of alcohol whenever she came by. Which was a lot more often nowadays.

Lia lightly grazed her fingers over the bottles of alcohol she brought here and wondered to herself. _Would other types of alcohol elicit different sides to her during sex?_ She wondered giddily and vowed to bring vodka and tequila next time to experiment with Tzuyu. Maybe vodka would make her tie Lia to the bed. That thought delighted her to no end.

She was brought out of her thoughts when light knocks signified the presence of someone at the door. Lia skipped towards it and flung the door open fully expecting Tzuyu to greet her. She was highly disappointed when a blonde woman stood in front of her with two take out bags in her hands.

“Oh hi, is Chewy here? She told me to come by and bring take-out for dinner.”

Lia raised an eyebrow and eyed the girl from head to toe. She was wearing skin tight jeans that accentuated her curves and a black hoodie similar to the hoodie Tzuyu owned in her closet. She saw that one. The college hoodie Tzuyu wouldn’t let her wear nor borrow. Why did this girl have the same hoodie?

She didn’t like it.

Lia smiled at her lopsidedly and didn’t make a move to give the girl space to come inside. Instead, she leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms in front of her.

“Hi. Tzuyu isn’t here. Can I ask your name? I can tell her you dropped by.”

The blonde woman was visibly confused. Her perfect eyebrows furrowed as she crinkled her annoyingly cute nose.

“Oh she’s not? She just told me she was here a few minutes ago. I’m Sana by the way.”

 _Sana._ The girl who texted Tzuyu all those nights ago asking when she could see her and had the audacity to tell her _‘I love you Chewy’._ Lia knew she had a bad feeling about this girl. This was also the same blonde woman she saw sitting in the CEO’s passenger seat weeks ago. Lia’s gaze hardened at the girl and she didn’t quite like that she had to confront two of Tzuyu’s side women at the same night. So she put on her sweetest smile and fluttered her eyebrows at the blonde.

“Sorry, she’s no-”

“Yes she is.”

...

Mina made her way besides Sana and took one take-out bag from the girl’s hand before eyeing Lia who now moved so she wasn’t leaning against Tzuyu’s door. The young idol uncrossed her arms and dropped it at her sides the moment Mina stepped into her sight.

“Sana, change of plans. We’re sleeping over at mine and Chaeyoung’s for the night. I came here to get you.” Mina smiled gently at her fellow Japanese native and gave her a warm smile.

She cleared her throat and hardened her gaze as she turned to look at Lia who was still standing in the doorway unmoving as if not giving them any space to enter.

“Go home, Lia-ssi. How did you even get inside?”

Mina watched as Lia smiled at her with that fake smile she knew all too well. She’s been observing the girl ever since the first night she saw her in Tzuyu’s apartment and ever since then she hasn’t found it in herself to trust the younger girl.

Now she knew why.

“B-boo Jang-nim, Annyeong! I just got here and the door was unlocked so I assumed Tzuyu was inside.”

Lia giggled at her all the while flashing Mina another one of her wide smiles that didn’t quite reach her eyes. The Japanese woman remained stoic as she stared at the idol who was visibly flustered.

“Tzuyu never leaves her penthouse unlocked, Lia-ssi. But come now, let me usher you out. Chewy has been waiting for _her Sana_ for quite some time now.”

Sana giggled beside her visibly pleased that Tzuyu and the other girls has now fully accepted her back thus keeping in contact with her much frequently. Jeongyeon was supposed to be with them tonight but the other girl had an emergency with her family restaurant thus not being able to drop by.

Mina, on the other hand, knew what she was saying. She looked fragile, yes. Like she couldn’t hurt a fly. But she knew how to handle herself and she knew how to handle other people as well. So she emphasized some words in her sentence hoping to elicit some form of reaction from the bluffing idol in front of her. _Her Sana._

Mina inwardly smirked as she watched Lia’s face redden in anger and her eye harden while glowering at an oblivious Sana. The look of unadaltered jealousy and possessiveness quickly vanished from Lia’s face in an instant and her sweet smile was now plastered on her face.

“Okay, Boo Jang-nim. I’ll go turn off her lights real quick.” 

Mina’s eyes didn’t leave Lia’s form as she watched the idol prance around Tzuyu’s penthouse to turn off the lights and Mina made sure to lock the penthouse herself before ushering the girls towards the elevator.

Sana immediately locked her arms with her as they walked and she felt calmer. Who knew what she would have said if Sana wasn’t there. The elevator ride was eerily quiet. Sana was still oblivious as she felt the girl giddily jump in place beside her. Lia, on the other hand, kept fiddling with the rings on her fingers and that made Mina smirk. In all honesty, she’d rather see Tzuyu in Jihyo’s arms than Lia’s if this was how the girl’s real nature was like. That’s saying a lot.

Mina didn’t bother pushing the button for her floor instead she pushed the button for the lobby. That made Sana look at her questioningly but she gave the Japanese girl a gentle reassuring smile before sliding her hand into hers and intertwining their fingers. That made Sana smile back and just let Mina be.

Lia bowed to the both of them when the elevator reached the lobby. “Sorry for disrupting your evening, Boo Jang-nim. I’ll go ahead.”

Before the elevator door could close, Mina called for Lia causing the idol to stop in her tracks and face them.

“Lia-ssi, feel free to return Chewy’s spare key to me anytime.”

She remembered her line of thought way back when Jihyo barged into her old apartment unannounced to look for Tzuyu. It was the same line of thought that clouded her mind as she saw Lia’s attempt to keep her face smiling through the closing doors of the elevator.

_When push comes to shove she’d do anything to protect her cubs._


	16. CHAPTER XVI

“Ready?”

“Do I have a choice, Unnie?”

“Not really.”

She sighed at the back of her car as she glanced at the stores and houses they passed by while Mina drove them to Sana and Momo’s apartment complex.

“They shouldn’t expect us to be all chummy with them just because were good with Sana and Jeong now. It’s going to be fine. The four of us are all going to be there anyway.” Dahyun mumbled beside Tzuyu in the backseat as the older girl slid her hand onto the CEO’s thigh and squeezed it in comfort.

“Betrayal is betrayal. Out of the nine of us, Nayeon and Momo aren’t the type to swallow their pride. They aren’t the type to admit their faults either.” Chaeyoung grumbled in response in her seat beside Mina. Tzuyu watched as Chaeyoung and Dahyun both tensed in their respective seats. Out of the four of them, those two seemed to have the biggest grudge towards Nayeon and Momo. She couldn’t blame them.

_It’s been two months. Two months of not seeing Tzuyu everyday like they used to. Two months after they discovered how the older Unnies kept everything behind their backs. It’s been a month as well after they watched Mina slap Jihyo right across the face. Dahyun remembered how badly she wanted to join the argument. How badly she wanted to give the girl a piece of her mind as well. She remembered how Chaeyoung tightly gripped her arm to keep her in place. She remembered how much her hands shook in anger. In disgust. In disbelief._

_A month._

_It’s been a month of radio silence from them as well._

_Currently, Chaeyoung was staying at Dahyun’s place for a couple of nights. Their Mina Unnie left for Japan a day ago to visit her parents. So DubChaeng as per usual was wreaking havoc inside Dahyun’s apartment. Well, really it was them face timing Tzuyu who was obviously drunk from the way she slurred out her words as the three of them tried to play some online game together while asking about the Maknae’s day._

_Like clockwork and a horrible tinge of déjà vu, there were multiple knocks on Dahyun’s door. They didn’t bother turning off Chaeyoung’s phone so Tzuyu was still listening on to what was happening completely oblivious as to who was knocking on the older girl’s door. Dahyun immediately paused their game and skipped her way towards her door. Unlike Jihyo, Nayeon and Momo stood there waiting for Dahyun to let them in which she begrudgingly did._

_So the two stood in the middle of Dahyun’s living room eyeing the bedroom door where they thought Tzuyu was currently residing in. It made sense. If the Maknae wasn’t with Mina then she would be with Dahyun seeing as the girl lived alone._

_Chaeyoung left her phone that was currently on face time with Tzuyu, on the coffee table as she stood next to Dahyun as they both faced the two older girls._

_“She’s here isn’t she?”_

_There it was again. Her anger. The anger Dahyun has been keeping under control since the day Jihyo stormed into Chaeyoung’s apartment. Her tiny hands were balled into shaking fists as she saw Nayeon and Momo’s confused eyes roam around her apartment._

_“Look, Jihyo has already tried this stunt and it didn’t work out well for her. I’m really not in the mood for a repeat so please just go home.”_

_Nayeon’s brows furrowed first as she stepped forward into Chaeyoung and Dahyun’s space, the few inches she had made her tower over them._

_“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m older than both of you. So what if we’re looking for Chewy? She’s our friend too and we at least deserve the right to know why she suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth, Dahyun-ssi.” Nayeon’s gritted teeth made her sound as intimidating and as harsh as she wanted._

_Chaeyoung gripped onto her arm again. This time she felt Chaeyoung’s hand trembling as well. She didn’t know if it was in anger like herself or in nervousness from Nayeon and Momo’s presence. Like before, Dahyun’s hands were shaking. Déjà vu has never hit her this horribly before and now it has. She wasn’t enjoying it and neither was Chaeyoung._

_They were the youngest out of their friend group. Always ones to fold with one look from their Unnies eyes. Always following their lead because that was what they were expected to do as the youngest ones. But tonight was different. They weren’t going to bend just because Nayeon towered over them demanding the respect she didn’t deserve._

_“She’s not here, Nayeon. So just go.” Chaeyoung butted in timidly. Her voice low but steady._

_Nayeon recoiled. Visibly offended by Chaeyoung dropping her honorifics as well. The eldest crossed her arms as she stared at the two._

_“What has gotten into the two of you? Why are you acting like this?” This time it was Momo who stepped forward clearly not liking where the conversation was heading at. The Japanese woman had her eyebrows furrowed and a clear look of disappointment on her face at the way Dahyun and Chaeyoung were currently behaving._

_“What has gotten into the two of you, Momo? Lying behind our backs? Tzuyu’s back? Your ‘friend’s’ back? That's low even for you.” Dahyun has never sounded this threatening. Never in their years of friendship have they ever heard anything indignant come out of her mouth. Nayeon and Momo watched as the younger girl made a step forward but was restrained to go any further by Chaeyoung’s hand on her arm._

_“It wasn’t any of our business. It wasn’t our faults either so don’t act like we’re accountable for her heartbreak. We didn’t need to meddle. It’s their business. Not ours. Not yours. Not even Mina’s” Momo scoffed at them her face still in denial but her eyes flashing guilt every so often._

_“Not your business? I don’t even think you cared about how Tzuyu ran to us broken. Because her so called ‘Unnies’ lied to her. To her face! To our faces! She trusted you. All of you. That’s how you repaid her? Some ‘Unnies’ you are.” Dahyun couldn’t help it now. She couldn’t just stand there and be pushed around by them anymore just because they were older. Her voice was significantly louder as she almost screamed into Nayeon and Momo’s now guilt-ridden faces._

_“Dahyun stop talking like that right now. You’re being disrespectful.” Nayeon’s face was equally as heated as the younger ones. Not used to being defied nor challenged by them._

_That did nothing but anger Dahyun more as the younger girl once again gave them a piece of her mind like she’s been waiting to do._

_“Not only that, ‘_ Unnies’. _While you were busy lying to our faces. We were busy wiping her tears and listening to her cry. We were busy wracking our brains trying to think of ways to help her move on. Trying to think of excuses for all of you as to why you could do such a thing. We were busy picking up the pieces that you broke.”_

_Dahyun locked gazes with Nayeon. Jaw tight, teeth gritted and shoulders rolled back ready to throw a hard blow if needed. Daring her to say anything further. She wanted to make her understand the weight of every single word she said. She talked slowly and clearly making sure they heard her perfectly. No hint of cheer came out of her voice like it used to. Instead, her voice was dripping with disgust. With anger and resentment. A harsh tone both older girls had never heard from her before._

_It showed. It showed in the way Nayeon recoiled and eased her brows in a pang of guilt. It showed in the way Momo dropped her hands to her sides and tried but failed to steel her jaw. They go it. Loud and clear._

_“We didn’t break anyone.” It came out as a broken whisper. A broken whisper coming out of Nayeon’s mouth addressed to no one in particular as she tried to convince herself. Still full of denial. Still unwilling to own up to the damage that they caused. Still turning a blind eye to the brokenness they saw clearly reflecting in both Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s eyes in front of them._

_All of them heard her._

_“Jihyo wasn’t the only one who broke Tzuyu. You all did. So don’t expect her to run into the arms that broke her.”_

_Chaeyoung gritted her teeth. Visibly annoyed at Nayeon’s whisper of denial. Her vision now blurring from the tears of irritation that were unshed refusing to cry in front of the two older women._

_Nayeon was speechless at this point. A wave of guilt hitting her full force. Leaving her knees feeling weak and her head flashing images of a distraught Tzuyu. Despite that she kept her head high as both Chaeyoung and Dahyun looked at her with clear repulsion and hatred. Her pride as the eldest keeping her from lowering her gaze and asking for forgiveness from the younger girls. It wasn’t until she felt Momo tug her arm that Nayeon broke form their gaze._

_So she let the Japanese woman lead them out of Dahyun’s apartment being too dazed to move on her own as Momo slung an arm around her waist in order to guide her out. The ride back home was silent but both girls had one thing on their minds. A thought they didn’t know would haunt them from months on end._

_‘So don’t expect her to run into the arms that broke her.’_

This was everything she hated. Social gatherings and awkward glances. She’s improved a lot in regards with her social skills but that was with complete strangers or business matters. This was nothing of the sort. Here they were in Momo and Sana’s shared apartment celebrating Sana’s birthday with everyone. Literally everyone. Tzuyu was just thankful that Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung were here as well courtesy of Sana’s incessant begging and Jeongyeon’s bribery of good food from her family restaurant.

So here they were.

It was still early. Just 4pm on a Saturday and the party hasn’t even started yet but of course they’re here to help with last minute preparations, not that there was much to prepare for since it would just be the 9 of them. But Chaeyoung was bored and since she missed her No-Jam bro, A.K.A Jeongyeon, she insisted they go early.

Sana, on the other hand, as the CEO observed, was having the time of her life. Tzuyu watched from her place on the couch as Sana basically latched herself onto Mina and Dahyun’s arms as she chatted enthusiastically with Momo and Nayeon. Tzuyu, however, has been silent all throughout. They haven’t been here long. Just about 15 minutes but she was restless from both Momo and Nayeon’s not so subtle longing glances thrown at her direction.

Momo and Nayeon haven’t wiggled their way into her heart nor have they received clemency from Mina and DubChaeng either. They haven’t even exchanged a decent conversation with them. The CEO could practically see their fear radiating out of both of them. That made her smile to herself. Again, Tzuyu loved having the upper hand out of every situation. If the two thought they could just give her a pout and a small sorry and expect her to take them back with open arms then they were terribly mistaken.

They have to see. They have to witness. Chou Tzuyu. The new Chou Tzuyu.

Not just that. They have to face head first the aftermath of what they’ve helped conceal all those months ago. She wasn’t the only person who changed. Theirs wasn’t the only friendship they’ve broken.

They now saw how Mina wasn’t the shy and easily embarrassed girl she was before. She was nothing of the sort now. They saw that with Mina not even sparing them a glance. Dahyun wasn’t easily impressed and the incessant joker she was before. They saw that now as Dahyun wouldn’t even stand near them just merely nodding when Nayeon or Momo tried to crack a joke. Her face remaining unimpressed and clearly uninterested. Chaeyoung wasn’t prancing around and letting herself be cuddled up by the Unnies like she used to before. She was more reserved. Much more guarded. Both unusually quiet.

The four of them had their walls up. Everyone had changed.

Momo and Nayeon had to accept that. Just like Sana and Jeongyeon did they have to find a way to climb those walls one by one. Tzuyu knew it wasn’t going to be easy but it’s what has to be done. If they can’t do it then it really wasn’t Tzuyu’s loss.

Tzuyu watched as Dahyun just kept on nodding to whatever was being said by the older two in an attempt to ease Sana’s worries that her party wouldn’t turn out to be as enjoyable as she hoped. Mina, on the other hand, wasn’t ever one to fake anything. Tzuyu watched as her Japanese Unnie sported her usual stoic façade as she only responded enthusiastically to Sana and Dahyun not even sparing a glance towards Momo or Nayeon or even nod at them like Dahyun tried to do.

She couldn’t blame Mina. Just like they couldn’t blame how Chaeyoung stuck by Jeongyeon’s side not having the patience to fake a conversation with either Nayeon or Momo.

So here she was on the couch observing everyone trying to have a good time for the sake of Sana. Everyone a little bit older. A lot wiser than before. A lot more mature. Mostly more than half of them still a little bit broken. She watched how all of them looked the same and different all at the same time.

Jeongyeon, Momo and Mina all had the same shade of blonde hair, Sana had orange hair, Nayeon who once had long flowing locks now cut them shorter above her shoulders, Dahyun once again coloured hers with a mix of blue and purple while Chaeyoung coloured the strands on the front with ash gray leaving the remaining in natural brown. Her own hair has been died a chestnut brown still long and flowing not wanting it to be cut shorter.

They all looked the unchanged yet different at the same time. 

Jihyo, who had long hair in a somewhat light pink shade, has been sitting with her on the couch a decent amount of space separating the both of them. Tzuyu knew that Jihyo was watching them as well. Both girls quiet. Both just observing.

Being in the same room with Jihyo didn’t bother her as much anymore. She was used to it by now from the shoots that they had. The older girl quickly learning that holding up a professional atmosphere with her was the best way to hold a conversation. So Tzuyu didn’t mind. In fact, the only people she greeted when they stepped inside was Sana, Jeongyeon and surprisingly Jihyo. Of course she didn’t comment on how a flash of hurt and sorrow flashed through the idol’s eyes as Tzuyu only referred to her as ‘Miss Park’.

“Do you want to get drinks, Daepyo-nim?” a timid almost embarrassed voice made Tzuyu glance beside her and gaze at a wide eyed Jihyo. She knew it was an attempt to loosen her up and maybe save the both of them from the silent wars inside the living room.

So she nodded and stood up to follow Jihyo into the kitchen. It wasn’t much of a help seeing as the apartment had an open floor plan so the kitchen and living room were not separated at all but at least it gave them some sort of distance from the living room.

Tzuyu leaned against the kitchen island as she watched Jihyo open the fridge to see what they could scavenge. “Beer? Juice? Water?” The idol kept her back to Tzuyu as she busied herself with looking through Sana’s collection of drinks.

“A beer would be great.”

A bottle of beer was handed to her and they both made their way to the other side of the island counter. The pair sat on the seats against it and faced the living room to once again look at their friends in the living room with a bottle of beer in their hands. This time, they sat closer to each other. Not leaving one seat vacant between them.

­“Thank you for coming here. Sana seems to be over the moon.” Tzuyu noticed how Jihyo’s voice was still as timid as earlier. In her peripheral vision Tzuyu saw how the idol fiddled with the beer bottle in her hand.

“We all took time off work to be here. She’s lucky I love her.” Tzuyu grumbled under her breath before she took a long swig from her drink.

Jihyo glanced up at her. Tzuyu saw it. She saw how the idol looked at her. With longing. With pleading eyes. With sorrow. With love.

“Yes, she’s very lucky.”

It was softly said. Barely a whisper. But Tzuyu heard it. She turned her gaze towards Jihyo and found her big soft eyes locked onto hers. Jihyo gave her a soft smile and she didn’t know what came over her but Tzuyu couldn’t help but reply with one of her own. It’s been a while since she’s stared into Jihyo’s eyes like this. It’s been too long. She didn’t mind how loud her heart was pounding. Or how she felt light headed all of a sudden. Or even how all the chatter in the room seemed muted into the background. Or how much time has passed since she locked gazes with the girl timidly sat beside her.

It perplexed her how she didn’t mind. She didn’t pull away.

Jihyo did eventually. A solemn smile yet again gracing her lips as her eyes were downcast while she fiddled with the bottle of beer in her hands. Tzuyu watched her still.

“I-I wanted to congratulate you by the way. Uhm, Lia couldn’t stop talking about how you two are in a s-stable relationship.” Again, it was barely a whisper. If it weren’t for the lack of distance between them, Tzuyu wouldn’t have caught on to it or maybe it was the fact that her ears are still so attuned to the idol’s voice after all this time.

Either way she didn’t want to think about it.

Her eyebrows furrowed. A genuine look of bewilderment made its way to Tzuyu’s stoic features as she watched Jihyo’s downcast eyes.

“We’re not.” Tzuyu said with all the calmness she could muster. She wasn’t aware that the younger idol pranced around announcing they were in a ‘stable relationship’.

For all Tzuyu knows, they were just in a fuck buddy arrangement, an exclusive one, seeing as she clearly told the younger girl how she was unsure and not ready for a serious relationship. So they had casual sex. The deal was that she was going to stop fucking around with different women. That’s what it was for her. An exclusive fuck buddy arrangement. Nothing more nothing less.

Jihyo’s eyes snapped back up to lock gazes with her again. A look of shock evident in the older girl’s eyes.

“W-what? But she said tha-”

“I don’t know what she’s been spreading but I’m sure we aren’t in a relationship. I told you, Miss Park. I don’t date. I fuck.”

She didn’t dare drop Jihyo’s gaze. Wanting the older girl to know that she wasn’t in any way taken nor tied down by Lia. She didn’t know why but she wanted Jihyo to know that for a fact. To make sure the older idol understood. She would think about her reasons for it later. For now, she just wanted to clear up her relationship status.

“A stable fuck buddy relationship, maybe. Not a serious one. I don’t want that.”

_I don’t want that from anyone._

_From anyone else._

Tzuyu furrowed her eyebrows and immediately pushed that thought away. She watched as Jihyo nodded in understanding. She watched as the idol’s shoulders subtly relaxed from its tense position and she watched as Jihyo stopped fiddling with the bottle in her hand.

“Excuse me for a moment, Miss Park.”

She stood up and fished her phone out of the pocket of her pants as she quickly dialled Lia’s number adamant to set a scheduled date with the girl to clear things up in her end as well.

...

Momo fiddled with the tiny heart pendant dangling from her neck for the nth time that afternoon as she yet again tried and failed miserably to gain Mina or Dahyun’s attention. In reality, she was hoping to gain some sort of confidence to go up to Tzuyu and ask for a private conversation with the CEO. She was stalling. She knew that. She couldn’t help how her throat seemed to have tightened at the mere idea of being in such small confinement with the now terrifying Tzuyu. She wasn’t a fan of confrontations. She wasn’t a fan of this new version of Tzuyu either. All in all she was utterly terrified.

But she misses her so much.

Too much, really. It was painfully agonizing being in the same room with the younger girl and not being able to cling onto her like she used to. She knew she had a couple of hours before dinner and she was sure the four girls would immediately leave after that so it was now or never.

Momo watched as Tzuyu excused herself from Jihyo to answer a call as the CEO stepped at the far wall of the apartment. She took a deep breath and steeled her shoulders. Slowly, Momo made her way to the younger girl as she watched Tzuyu end her call.

“H-Hi.” She sounded stupid. She was sure of it but that was far from her concerns now as Tzuyu’s harsh gaze landed on her. It scared her. It scared her how the soft and loving eyes she always found comfort in long ago was gone now replaced with such an emotionless and indifferent gaze. It scared her how the tall girl didn’t bother bending down and wrapping her long arms around her waist in greeting like she used to do, instead she was met with crossed arms and a dominant stance that made her want to just crumble on the spot.

A wave of fear immediately engulfed her.

She watched as Tzuyu raised a brow at her in question. Momo cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to ground her thoughts and the rampant pounding of her heart.

“I was wondering if I can steal you for a moment. I just wanted to talk to you. _Please_?”

Tzuyu scoffed down at her before untangling her arms to place her hands inside her pockets.

“Is this the right time for that, Momo?”

Once again it seemed as if her tongue got caught in her throat as she failed to answer the intimidating girl quickly. Unconsciously, she raised her hand to fiddle with the pendant dangling from her necklace, a habit she grew accustomed to during her Junior Year in College. A sign that she was seeking comfort from being too anxious or nervous. A habit Tzuyu got her into seeing as it was the younger girl who gave her that particular necklace in the first place.

Tzuyu’s harsh gaze broke from hers and zeroed in on the pendant she was fiddling with. A moment later, the taller girl sighed and ran a hand through her hair before nodding in dismay.

“Fine. Make it quick.”


	17. CHAPTER XVII

Tzuyu was led away from the chatter in the living room and into what she can only assume was Momo’s bedroom. In all honesty, her head wasn’t into this long overdue conversation but the sight of Momo’s anxious fiddling with the cheap necklace she gave her years ago made her agree to it anyway. It couldn’t be that bad. She could be leaving with another Unnie by her side.

That made her pause.

When did she become so soft hearted? She didn’t like it. She didn’t like the sense of weakness and vulnerability it gave her. They did her wrong. They all did. That’s why she changed in the first place. Once again, she felt the familiar pang in her chest. The familiar roaring in her mind that once was a place of reprieve now turned into a raging warzone she has been desperately trying to run away from. That’s right. She remembered. Alcohol, sex, work. All her attempts to run away from her thoughts. It was all because of them. Yes she could try and forgive them but she would never forget what it felt like to go through what she did.

Just like that, Chou Tzuyu came back to her senses.

So she steeled her jaw and walked inside Momo’s bedroom. Tzuyu stood tall in the middle of the room as Momo locked the door behind her and leaned against it to face her.

She looked at Momo and really took time to observe her. She knew how every Unnies’ mind worked. She knew their little habits. She knew all the little tweaks in their behaviour. Being the introvert that she was gave her the intuition and patience to observe them ever since they were in college. Momo has always been an interesting character for Tzuyu. Interesting in the sense that the older girl can jump from one emotion to another based on impulse.

She watched as a flurry of emotions flashed through Momo’s eyes as the older girl struggled to decide whether she was going to approach like Sana and Jeongyeon did. In repentance. Or if she was going to approach like her instincts told her to. By blaming the other party.

Just like she expected.

Tzuyu didn’t bother to hide the smirk that made its way onto her lips. The fact that she still had knowledge over them gave her some sort of satisfaction. She didn’t even bother hiding the twinkle in her eyes when she saw how Momo visibly deflated against the doorframe.

“You didn’t need to do what you did.”

Ahh there it was.

That was the impulsive Momo she knew. Tzuyu sighed and played with it. This was a better distraction from the awkward glances in the living room anyway. She noticed how irked the Japanese woman sounded. It amused her to hear it.

“Do what?”

She didn’t drop her smirk. Not even when Momo rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the door to step closer. It didn’t shock Tzuyu. Like how it didn’t shock her to not feel any sort of empathy for the woman standing in front of her. Nothing. She felt nothing.

It wasn’t like Sana or Jeongyeon. Where she felt the genuine sorrow they held. Where she felt the longing they exuded. It was nothing like that. This was different. This was like talking to a child. A child who was about to throw a tantrum.

Again, just like she expected.

“Leave. Leave _me_. Ignore me for a year and a half. Then come back and act like _this_.”

She tried. Really she did. She tried to see if Momo had any resemblance of regret in her eyes like the other two did. But she was met with something else. Anger. Impulsive anger at that. That was all she saw as Momo stepped closer to her. That was all that radiated off of her. Really, she shouldn’t have expected otherwise.

“Like what?”

An indignant scoff came out of the older woman’s mouth as Tzuyu continued to reply in short but calm answers. It was as if she expected Tzuyu to wrap her in an embrace and tell her how sorry she was for leaving the country. Sad to say that would never happen.

“Like you’re all high and mighty. I don’t deserve this from you, Tzuyu. Not from you. I’m your Unnie. Don’t forget that.”

She eyed her. Not letting any sort of emotion flash through her features. Not that there was any to begin with. She may have been soft for Sana and Jeongyeon but that was because they expressed genuine regret.

Momo, however, did not.

Not yet anyway. So she tilted her head to the side and locked gazes with the woman’s raging eyes with uninterested ones of her own. The smirk still very much plastered on her lips.

“What makes you think you’re my Unnie? That little dangling pendant around your neck?”

_It was cold and dark. Uncomfortably so. The sun replaced by the light of the moon. Houses were lit up and people were busy with the holiday festivities. The streets were bare. Everyone nestled within the comfort of their homes surrounded by their loved ones. The city population lessened due to the influx of people hustling to go home to their hometowns. A reprieve. From the usual hustle and bustle of the city and the grind of working._

_Chuseok._

_Though this was not the case for everyone. Some have gone home but some have stayed back. Willingly or from having no choice but to do so. Tzuyu, however, chose to stay. She misses her mother dearly, of course. But she knew they would always be there for when she decides to visit home. Money wasn’t an issue. Not to Chou Tzuyu. So she stayed. Not to sulk._

_But to stay by Momo’s side._

_It was the night before Chuseok officially began and her apartment complex has been emptied the day before due to it being occupied by students from her University. Momo did not stay back by choice. If she did have one, she would’ve flown back to Japan with Mina and Sana. But they were short on money and she was short on time. She had to stay back, for both financial and academic reasons. Exams were coming up. Her papers were due. She didn’t have a choice._

_So she watched. She watched as the apartment complex emptied. She watched as Sana and Mina bid her a sorrowful farewell knowing she couldn’t come back with them. All in all, she decided Chuseok wasn’t as joyous as others deemed it to be. Not for her. She was alone. Alone to wait for the moment Chuseok started in the confinement of her humble apartment. Really, she should’ve been used to this by now. She was a junior. She’s been doing this for 2 years. The third time shouldn’t have been this hard to bear. Staying back in Korea as Chuseok filled the minds of her peers with cheer and joy. Momo sighed to herself and curled into a ball on their worn out couch as she wrapped a blanket around her body to shield herself from the cold of night._

_A sound cut the silence of her apartment. A jingling of keys. That would’ve been normal to hear if it wasn’t for the fact that she was currently alone. The Japanese woman gripped her blanket in fear as the jingling of the keys stopped followed by the sound of her doorknob being turned and the door creaking signalling someone breaking into her apartment. She watched in horror as the door gently opened. Was it the landlord? A thief? She couldn’t believe her luck._

_“Momo Unnie?”_

_An unmistakable soft gentle voice drifted its way into her ear. Tzuyu? Impossible. The girl should’ve left for Taiwan by now. The figure peeked through the small gap of the door and Momo unconsciously curled herself further into the blanket. The apartment wasn’t well lit. She only had their floor lamp turned on and it didn’t help illuminate the figure’s features. Fortunately, the tall figure fully stepped inside and locked the door behind._

_“T-Tzuyu?”_

_There she was. Tzuyu stood with what she could only assume was two bags of take-out in her hand and her usual black overcoat hugging her slim body. Her wide eyes zeroed in on the ball on the worn out couch and Momo watched as Tzuyu smiled widely letting her dimple show and her eyes twinkle against the light of the lamp._

_“Unnie! Why is it so dark in here? Otteoke.”_

_Tzuyu was here? In Korea? Why?_

_Perplexed, Momo was lost in thought clearly startled by the younger girl’s sudden appearance. She watched as the girl turned all the lights in the living room and kitchen on. The apartment now fully lit. Tzuyu walked towards her and placed the take out boxes onto the coffee table as she shrugged her coat off to hang it on the back of the couch._

_“Why are you still here? Chuseok is about to start, Chewy! It’s 11PM!”_

_Tzuyu smiled gently at her Unnie. It may have been poorly lit earlier but the sight of unshed tears in Momo’s glimmering eyes wasn’t something that could be hidden. Tzuyu saw. She understood. That was why she was here in the first place. The younger girl sat beside her Unnie as she tilted her head to the side. The small gesture made Momo smile unconsciously, she thought it made Tzuyu resemble a small puppy._

_“You’re here. So I’m here too.”_

_The Japanese woman unfurled herself from the ball of comfort she’s been hiding in as she felt her heart flutter for the younger girl. Although she was still a bit confused as to why she was here, Momo was still grateful to have someone beside her._

_“Eh? I thought you would be flying home with Elkie and Shuhua?”_

_Tzuyu shook her head. She wasn’t that close to Momo. The older girl was just a bit too extroverted and she was just an awkward introvert tailing behind them. Thus, the only conversation they had was either with the presence of their other friends or when they walked to the cafeteria together as Momo talked her ear off about Jokbal._

_“Sana Unnie told me you’ve been spending Chuseok alone since freshman year. No one should celebrate alone. So I’m here to celebrate with you, Unnie.”_

_The Taiwanese girl’s smile widened excitedly as her dimples showed on her cheek. Tzuyu gestured towards the boxes on the coffee table as she practically bounced on her seat._

_“I even brought you Jok-”_

_She couldn’t even finish her sentence before she was engulfed in a rather tight yet comfortable hug. Another trait she didn’t share with her Unnie was that Tzuyu wasn’t the physically affectionate type. But clearly, Momo didn’t have any qualms in wrapping the younger girl up in a hug and placing herself almost onto her lap._

_Still, Tzuyu allowed it._

_She giggled against the older girl’s temple, her joyous laughter filling the silence of the empty apartment and lifted the heavy atmosphere that previously engulfed the empty space as she returned the gesture and wrapped her arms around the Japanese woman’s waist. She felt it rather than heard it. The unmistakable wetness that has now touched the skin of her neck._

_Her Momo Unnie was crying._

_That made her frown. So she didn’t bother prying away the strong grip of Momo’s hands that were now gripping her sweater. Instead, she leaned her head down and placed her mouth near the older girl’s ear._

_“Happy Chuseok, Momo Unnie. You don’t need to celebrate it alone anymore.”_

_Tzuyu reached for the pocket in her pants but left her other arm to firmly grip the older girl closer to her body. She pulled out a small box that she hurriedly purchased earlier. She was short on money and this was the first thing that caught her eye. Yes her parents were rich but she didn’t like to abuse their finances, so this was the best she could come up with but it’ll do for now. She placed the box onto the coffee table and opened it with one hand._

_A necklace with a small heart pendant shined as she lifted it out of the box._

_It was tradition for family members to give gifts during Chuseok so she made sure to buy her Momo Unnie something aside from her beloved Jokbal. She hoped it would cheer her up and liven her festive spirit. Gently, she pried the crying girl away from her just enough so that she can place the necklace around her Unnie’s neck._

_Silent tears ran their way down Momo’s face and it only intensified as she saw what Tzuyu was doing._

_“W-why are you giving me this? We aren’t even that close, Chewy-yah.”_

_Tzuyu fiddled with the tiny heart pendant now dangling from her Unnie’s neck as she smiled gently at her. Not the big festive smile she showed earlier. But a smile that held much more value. A smile that wasn’t as flashy but held much more emotion. A reassuring one. One that held the affection she would want to show. A smile she reserved for people she genuinely cared about. Like her Unnies._

_So she smiled at her Momo Unnie. Tzuyu leant her head down so that she was eye level with the older woman. She wanted her to understand. She wanted to reassure her. So she spoke gently making sure her Unnie understood every word she was about to say._

_“Let’s change that. Chuseok gifts are only for family members or very close friends. You’re my Unnie, so I’m giving this to you.”_

_Momo smiled at her. Returning the same soft smile that she received. Sorrow now wiped off of her features. Replaced by affection. Affection for the young girl choosing to stay behind and staying beside her rather than flying back home to her family._

_“I’m sorry, Unnie. That’s really the only thing I could buy for you right now but I promise to buy you a real one when I get a job of my own.” Tzuyu said with all the determination she could muster._

_Tzuyu yelped as Momo yet again engulfed her in a tight embrace as the older woman buried her face into the crook of her neck._

_“You’re so silly. You don’t need to buy me anything, Chewy-yah. Your Unnie is happy with you celebrating Chuseok with me. I love you, Chewy.”_

_It was said quietly. Barely even a whisper. Almost as if Momo was scared that Tzuyu would disappear if she spoke any louder. So Tzuyu didn’t mind it. She didn’t mind that Momo gripped onto her like her life depended on it. Instead, she wrapped her Unnie in a comforting embrace. She hoped and prayed it was enough to dissipate her Unnie’s sorrows from now on._

_“I love you too, Unnie”_

Momo’s eyes widened and Tzuyu watched as another emotion replaced her impulsive anger. Sorrow. Tzuyu knew she hit a cord. Of course she did. She was the one who gave her that in the first place. Not that it was worth anything. It wasn’t made of expensive material anyway. Back then, she just thought it was a cute gift at the time when the Japanese woman couldn’t go home to Japan for the holidays.

It held sentimental value, she was aware of that.

So she reached forward and gripped the pendant in her hand. Her eyes still locked onto Momo’s as she swiftly pulled it off. The chain breaking from the strong tug. Its chains easily snapped from the light material it was made of. She knew it didn’t physically hurt the Japanese woman. Again, it was a knock off anyway.

“Aren’t you too old for such low-cost jewelry? Now, if you’ll excuse me. Sana has a birthday party I need to attend to.”

So she left her there. Like how they did to her before, the necklace still tightly gripped in her palm.

...

Walking back into the living room she made a beeline for the bottle of beer she left on the kitchen counter. Tzuyu sat back into the counter seat she vacated and Jihyo gave her a small smile as she reappeared. She took a generous swig from her beer before setting it down on the counter, the beer now completely drained. She didn’t bother reacting to the shocked expression Jihyo flashed her, instead she roamed her eyes around the room again. Like it naturally did, her eyes made its way to Mina’s concerned ones. She knew her Unnie noticed when she disappeared from the living room. She always did.

Tzuyu watched as Mina left Sana’s side and walked towards her. Like opposite ends of a magnet. Mina always gravitated to Tzuyu and Tzuyu did as well. Maybe her Unnie sensed her discomfort, maybe she saw how Momo still hasn’t appeared from the bedroom. Either way, Mina always gravitated towards her especially in times when she needed her most. Even when she didn’t think she needed it.

A gentle whiff of cherry blossoms passed by her senses and it immediately loosened the tension in her shoulders she didn’t know it was holding as Mina stood in front of her with a questioning gaze. Words weren’t needed. Not with them. So Tzuyu let the older girl place a gentle comforting kiss on her forehead before taking a seat beside her on the side Jihyo didn’t occupy.

Gently, Mina placed her hand on top of Tzuyu’s fist. She’s been gripping the necklace too tightly that her hand was shaking yet she didn’t take any notice of it until her Mina Unnie placed a gentle hand on top of hers. Maybe she was affected by the tense conversation more than she let on and Mina noticed. Like she always did.

So she pocketed the necklace, feeling its gentle bump in the pocket of her pants.

Like clockwork, she felt Mina intertwine their fingers the moment Tzuyu’s hand left her pocket and she watched as the Japanese woman placed their hands on top of her lap. A gesture of comfort that the older girl always gave her. Like she always did.

Dahyun bounded over to them, a grin plastered on her face as she successfully wiggled her way out of the conversation with Nayeon and Sana that Momo has now re-joined.

“Yah Chewy! Where’d you get the beer?”

Tzuyu cocked her head towards the fridge and Dahyun skipped towards it pulling out two bottles. The older girl proceeded to open both and hand one to Tzuyu who gratefully accepted it. The young CEO felt Mina burning holes into her skull and she immediately took a long swig from the beer nearly drinking all of it before the older girl decides to swipe it from her hands.

“Yah isn’t it too early for that? We haven’t even eaten dinner yet.”

Her newly reinstated Korean Mother stepped towards them with Chaeyoung in tow. Jeongyeon still being careful around Tzuyu just as Sana was. Tzuyu forgot that they didn’t know anything about her newly acquired lifestyle. They didn’t know anything about what she’s done in the past year. They didn’t know how she would drink at any given time of the day if she felt like it. Jeongyeon and Jihyo’s surprised faces were directed at her and the bottle in her hand.

“Believe it or not. Tzuyu treats alcohol like its water. She even beat me and Chaeng in a drinking marathon.”

Tzuyu couldn’t help but smile fondly as she watched Dahyun shake her head in shame at the memory of her passing out in the younger girl’s penthouse. Jeongyeon and Jihyo however morphed their surprised faces into concerned ones.

She understood why.

From the moment they stepped into Chou Inc. and saw her that shooting day they’ve seen how she dominated the area. Tzuyu treated Chou Inc. as her kingdom. A kingdom she ran with an iron fist. Work.

Tzuyu was sure the other older girls had an idea about her active sex life due to the fact that she bluntly told Jihyo in the café that she only ever fucked women. Never dated. Never will date. She remembered Sana even asked her a couple of times about Lia which she bluntly explained was a close friend who she now exclusively has sex with. Tzuyu could never forget the look of shock that flashed on both Sana and Jihyo’s faces. She couldn’t blame them. Who would’ve thought that their introverted skinship evading Chewy turned into a high class player right? Sex.

As far as they knew, a year and a half ago she couldn’t even finish one beer bottle or even stand the taste of it claiming it tastes too metallic for her. Tzuyu used to give her unfinished bottles to Jeongyeon or Jihyo and since then it became a routine for them. Now, however, things were much different and they have finally witnessed every little change in Chou Tzuyu. Alcohol. 

For that, she couldn’t blame them.

It took Jeongyeon a moment to recompose her features and turned it into a calmer one. She scratched the back of her neck while eyeing the bottle in Tzuyu’s hand.

“Well, you might have beaten DubChaeng but you haven’t beaten me. Up for the challenge one of these days, Tzu?”

She was quite grateful to Jeongyeon for keeping the topic light and not going into a full on rant like Mina did when she first witnessed her downing whiskey like water. So she smiled up at a now smirking Jeongyeon before giving her own smug smirk and nodding at the older girl.

The doorbell rang and gratefully the attention wasn’t on her anymore. It was now shifted onto the large amount of food Sana got delivered. Apparently, one thing hasn’t changed in the past year and that’s the inability of the older girls to cook. Dahyun and Chaeyoung followed by everyone else bounded over quickly to the living room where Sana put the food on the coffee table. It was a simple evening. Sana didn’t want anything for her birthday but a simple gathering doing what they used to do all the time which is lounge around eating an ungodly amount of takeout while attempting to focus on a cheesy drama on the television. This was one of the reasons Tzuyu agreed to show up, aside from the fact that it’s Sana’s birthday. It allowed her to have minimal interactions as possible especially if she just sat and ate while pretending to focus on whatever drama there is then she would be fine.

Tzuyu was the only one left on the kitchen counter and she trudged her way towards the fridge to get herself another beer and maybe one bottle each for DubChaeng who looked like they could use a beer themselves. She was opening the beers on the counter as she watched Dahyun and Chaeyoung fight to sit on both sides of Mina, the two young girls basically wrestling Sana and Jeongyeon who also wanted to sandwich the youngest Japanese girl.

“D-do you need help with those?”

Tzuyu almost jumped in place when a small quivering voice spoke beside her. If it weren’t for the fact that she was basically holding precious alcohol she would’ve probably cursed like a sailor. Turning her head to the intruder she had to look down due to the height difference to watch Nayeon uncharacteristically quivering on the spot.

...

Nayeon was about to pass out. That she was sure of. She quietly shuffled over to Tzuyu as the younger girl opened a couple of beer bottles while everyone else was fighting over the seats beside Mina on the couch. Quietly, as to not alert the young CEO, Nayeon let herself watch her. Usually back when they used to do these movie marathons, Tzuyu would be dressed in nothing but her comfortable clothes. Now, it was like Nayeon was facing a complete stranger. Not only has Tzuyu changed through her personality and outlook, she has changed her way of dressing as well. As if her personality wasn’t intimidating enough, the younger girl dressed like she was about to step into a photoshoot all the time.

Today, it was rather casual and far from the formal outfits she wore at work from the times Nayeon has visited. Tzuyu walked inside the apartment earlier with a pair of dark blue jeans and dock martens that rose higher than her ankles. In the freezing weather she had no idea how but the younger girl wore a white crop top under her black padded overcoat that made her white top pop out even more. Nayeon swore she heard complete silence for a solid minute as they all just ogled over Tzuyu earlier. That wasn’t all. Because the younger girl decided to wear a crop top, it gave them full view of her now toned abs that weren’t there a year and a half ago. She could swear Sana might have tried to get a feel of it when she rushed forward to wrap Tzuyu in welcoming hug. Not that Nayeon blamed her, she would’ve done the same if she could.

So here she was ogling Tzuyu again like a creep as she watched her, black overcoat now discarded, so she had a full view of the younger girl in all her glory. She wanted nothing more than to wrap the younger girl in her arms like she used to do. Annoy her and force skinship like she used to do. Once again, her stomach dropped as she remembered why she couldn’t do all those things.

She always prided herself of being the eldest among their friend group. Always demanding respect when the younger ones seemed to be dissing her too much. She always took the role of ‘fake maknae’ at times and acted like a complete idiot but she always prided herself in being able to take care of her younger friends. Especially, Tzuyu. Not just because she was a foreigner who needed a little bit more help from her but because Tzuyu was the youngest among all of them. Yet here she was, shrinking at the undeniable fact that she failed to do the one thing she was adamant on being.

She failed as an Unnie.

Timidly, she walked towards Tzuyu closer. A whiff of lavender emanated from the younger girl. It always calmed her. Tzuyu’s scent. One of the major reasons she liked cuddling up to Tzuyu was because her scent always calmed her.

“D-do you want help with those?”

Tzuyu, as calm as ever, slowly looked down to her as their eyes locked. Nayeon searched for something. Anything that would tell her the younger girl was easing up to her or something that would convince her that it wasn’t too late to salvage her Chewy that was buried deep down this cold aura she personified so well.

Desperately, she searched for the gentleness in her eyes that used to ease her troubled heart and found nothing. She searched for even a tiny grain of lingering affection that Tzuyu used to show even when she annoyed her too much. But found nothing. She searched for longing, the same longing that was heavily radiating from her eyes. But again Nayeon was met with nothing but an uninterested blank stare. It was like Tzuyu looked past her. It felt like Nayeon was just a gust of wind that Tzuyu wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge.

She didn’t acknowledge her, not even a little bit. Nayeon watched as Tzuyu tore her gaze away to look straight past her. If it were possible, she swore she could hear her heart break into a million little pieces as Tzuyu lifted the bottles on her own and walked past her towards the living room not even sparing Nayeon a single glance.

Quickly, as to not alert the others. Nayeon subtly wiped a stray tear from her eye and puffed her chest out before following Tzuyu into the living room.

...

All in all, she could say it was a manageable evening. Nothing she couldn’t handle. She was sandwiched between an over excited Sana and a grumbling Chaeyoung throughout the rest of the night. Chaeyoung side eyeing Sana as she complained about being separated from her girlfriend. Meanwhile, on the other end of Mina was Jeongyeon and Dahyun who were just both arguing as to who had a better alcohol tolerance which rooted from their earlier topic about Tzuyu’s new alcohol expertise. It amused Tzuyu enough that she felt rather calm to just sit back and continue drinking her nth beer for the evening.

A little over 11 in the evening, Mina announced that it was time for them to depart when she saw how Dahyun tried to coax Jeongyeon into taking out the tequila. Of course, it wasn’t an easy feat for her when Sana whined and clung onto her arm tightly but Jihyo pried Sana off of her. Everyone stood up and bid them farewell individually. Jeongyeon was first as she hugged the four of them separately before stepping back as Sana took her time into engulfing them each into a rather suffocating embrace as Tzuyu felt her body might snap in two.

She didn’t engulf Sana or Jeongyeon back in an affectionate embrace, they weren’t on that level of physical affection yet. So Tzuyu just raised her hand to pat the older girl’s hair as she felt Sana nestle her head into the crook of her neck. Leaning down and placing her lips near the older girl’s ear so that she was the only one who could hear her. Tzuyu whispered gently with all the sincere affection she could muster as she continued to pat Sana’s hair.

“Happy Birthday, Sana Unnie.”

A strangled sob was heard and Tzuyu felt everyone’s gaze fall upon them. She paid them no mind as Sana tightened her hold onto her albeit shakily. She didn’t even notice but the room fell silent. Not uncomfortably but enough to let her know that they were observing their interaction. Again, she paid them no mind as she felt a dampness on the skin of her neck. Sana was silently crying. She felt like she could as well but she refused to show any sort of weak emotion in front of Jihyo, Nayeon and Momo. So Tzuyu kept her face as neutral as possible as she felt Sana’s body quiver lightly against hers.

“S-say that again.”

Tzuyu chuckled lightly and stopped patting Sana’s hair as she tried to pry the older girl off of her enough so that she can properly look into Sana’s puffy eyes. Sana’s arms were still around her waist but now a little loose to allow herself to be pulled away. She looked at her with sincerity as she heard Mina and Dahyun try to steer the other girls back into the living room to give them a little bit of privacy. She knew they could still see them but at least they weren’t as close as they were.

Tzuyu watched as unshed tears form in Sana’s eyes as it began to widen little by little when Tzuyu leant down to press their foreheads lightly against each other. It was their own little thing. Theirs and theirs alone.

With a small smile and a tone as gentle as earlier, she repeated.

“Happy Birthday, Sana Unnie.”

Unknowingly, three pairs of eyes were tearing up as well at the sight of Tzuyu bestowing one of them with her rare spurts of affection. Jihyo, Nayeon and Momo now more determined than ever to mend their broken relationship with the young girl.


	18. CHAPTER XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyes Closed - Halsey

Sunday was a day meant for recuperating in preparation for the week ahead. Usually she’d wake up still tipsy from the night before or with the smell of a random woman’s perfume on her sheets but this was out of the ordinary as she woke up without both. She was the type to immediately get out of bed and freshen up for the calm day ahead but again this was out of the ordinary because she was frozen on her spot laying on her bed. Head turned to the glimmering necklace placed on top of her nightstand. It’s as if it wanted its presence to be known as the sunlight hit the jewelry making it glimmer under it. Tzuyu’s been staring at it for a good couple of minutes still figuring out what to do with it. She didn’t want to touch it or see it but she didn’t want to throw it away either. Tzuyu groaned and decided to get herself ready for the day instead. Momentarily, she pushed aside the ache in her chest that’s been building up since she woke up this morning.

Lia was going to drop by later on at lunch today so she’ll have that to distract her.

In the meantime, she just busied herself with work as per usual. The promotions for their new phone models have been a huge success so far and as expected their sales have shot up exponentially. They made sure not to drop every commercial advertisements at the same time and Mina had it scheduled to be dropped all at different schedules to make the promotions last longer. The next shoots were going to be the artists singing their own songs while filmed using the phone being promoted. Of course it would be shot all at different dates with ITZY being the first ones to be shot next week followed by Stray Kids and then Jihyo. Come to think of it, Tzuyu wondered if she could make a second batch of promotions hiring another set of artists from different companies seeing as all their current brand ambassadors are from JYPE.

It could be a good promotional idea. She made sure to take note of that to present to Mina the next day.

Just like that it was time for lunch and of course the familiar pattern of Lia’s knocks could be heard from her door and Tzuyu turned her laptop off to usher the idol inside. She found it comforting to open the door and be met with Lia’s usual giddy smile followed by her perky voice filling the apartment with a cheerful atmosphere.

“Lunch has arrived!”

She just shook her head as she watched Lia skip her way to the living room dropping the take out bag she brought with her on the coffee table before making herself comfortable on the couch. Momentarily she almost forgot why she wanted to talk to Lia in the first place.

...

Giddy. That’s how she felt when Tzuyu called her yesterday to schedule a date at her penthouse. Her giddiness morphed into self-satisfaction when she realized how the CEO sought her presence even though she had a mishap with her gamer friend last time. It’s not that it’s a crime to have a spare key to Tzuyu’s penthouse, right? Right. She was basically the CEO’s unofficial girlfriend anyway. She truly believed so. Tzuyu just needed a little nudge. So all the way to her CEO’s residence, Lia had on a cheerful glow to her more than usual like she always did whenever it’s related to the CEO.

She knocked her usual knock pattern and waited patiently for Tzuyu to let her in. The moment the door opened she flashed Tzuyu with a large smile before making herself comfortable on the couch like she usually did.

“Lunch has arrived!”

She smiled wider when Tzuyu shook her head at her playfully before joining her on the couch. Something at the back of her head told her something was up. Especially when Tzuyu didn’t have a sarcastic remark for her right off the bat, instead the CEO busied herself with opening the take-out she brought. Lia’s smile dropped and immediately replaced with a pout. She didn’t like that at all.

“You okay? You know you can tell me anything.”

Tzuyu stopped fiddling with the take out box and sat up straight to face her. The young idol’s pout deepened when she saw the pensive look on Tzuyu’s sleek features. She was used to this due to their multiple deep conversations about the CEO’s past but she wasn’t used it being directed at her for the first time.

“So you tell people that were in a serious relationship?”

She looked so serious. Too serious. Lia didn’t like it. She didn’t like when Tzuyu looked at her like that. The next thought that hit her was how did the CEO know she said that? It wasn’t like she broadcasted it to the entire world. Then it clicked.

Jihyo.

It had to be her. Of course the older idol would do such a thing. Lia didn’t know what kind of sympathy game Jihyo played but she wasn’t liking it. Her pout turned into a frown when she realized that Jihyo had an opportunity to talk to Tzuyu. When did they have time to see each other? As far as she knew, Tzuyu didn’t want to be in a room alone with her ex-girlfriend so why was she suddenly aware of what Lia and Jihyo talked about. The image of the former couple talking didn’t sit well with her. Quickly, she put on her cutest pout that seemed to always work on Tzuyu.

“I’m sorry, Daepyo-nim. I didn’t think it would be a problem seeing as I’m the only girl you’re seeing. Can I ask who told you?”

“Jihyo”

Tzuyu answered her immediately and that confirmed her thoughts. Lia stared into Tzuyu’s eyes. Her face morphed into something serious as well. She was scared. Scared of the possibility that Jihyo might have turned the tides in their little tug of war. Not that Jihyo was even trying to actively steal Tzuyu away. Still, it was threatening to know that just one word from the older idol made Tzuyu react this way towards her. She didn’t like it.

She didn’t like being in competition with the person she’s trying to replace. She wasn’t delusional. Really, she wasn’t. Lia was quite intuitive in nature. The CEO might claim that she has completely moved on from Jihyo but Lia knew better. Because the void in Tzuyu’s heart was not actually unoccupied. Even how much Tzuyu claimed it to be. The truth is a huge chunk of Tzuyu’s heart still belonged to Jihyo and Lia was slowly realizing that it always will. It would always be Jihyo’s. Tzuyu would always be Jihyo’s. That’s what terrified and angered her the most but then again she believed that change is the only permanent thing in this world. Change is inevitable. More than anything, Lia wanted to change the direction of Tzuyu’s affections. She swore she would.

Truth be told, she wasn’t one to accept defeat. Especially not in the war she started.

Lia gazed at Tzuyu’s face, she couldn’t help but soften her stance at the sight. Her affection towards the girl always won against the rage and jealousy she felt towards the fact that she apparently interacted with another woman that wasn’t her. She spoke gently towards the stern looking CEO, pain and envy dripping from her soft tone.

“Oh, so you’re back together with her? Is that it?”

The pain in her voice made Tzuyu visibly recoil. Her stern stance now turned into a soft one as Lia looked distraught in front of her.

“What? Of course not.”

Lia’s heart pounded harder at that. Of course, her Tzuyu wouldn’t do that. Deep down she knew Tzuyu had a soft spot for her as well and it’s Lia’s goal to deepen that soft spot inside her heart.

“Then why are you so mad that I said that? Are you letting her control you again, Daepyo-nim?”

She watched carefully as Tzuyu seemed to stiffen and the wheels in her head began to turn. She’s not going to let Jihyo turn the tides against her even if the older idol didn’t intend to do so. At this point, it’s a game of chess. One single move from now on can make or break Lia’s hard work and she was not going to let anyone sweep in and destroy that. Not now. Not with her Tzuyu.

Tzuyu looked so conflicted. She knew that look. She’s seen it multiple times whenever the topic of exes were brought up in their conversations in the past. She knew it all too well. The CEO was in conflict with herself. It seemed like she was in a conflict she didn’t know how to resolve. Delightedly, Lia was here to give her the guidance that she needed again. So she watched as the CEO exasperatingly hunched over and covered her face with her hands.

“No. I don’t think so.”

The young idol smiled. Tzuyu was confused. That wasn’t a problem. Lia was here for her. She was here to better Tzuyu’s judgment and here to guide her to the right decision. _Her_ decision. Her Tzuyu would be so lost without her. Again, she thanked all the deities for placing her in Tzuyu’s path. Lia scooted closer to the still hunched over Tzuyu and placed a sweet kiss on her temple before gently whispering in her ear.

“Then if you’re not back together with Jihyo then it wouldn’t be a problem if she knew that you’re not available, right?” Lia paused to let her words sink in as she placed another gentle kiss on Tzuyu’s ear. She knew the CEO was listening to her. She always did. “Prove to her that she can’t control you anymore, Tzuyu. Prove to her that she doesn’t own you anymore because I do.”

_I do. Right, Daepyo-nim?_

Gently, she gathered the taller girl in her arms and kept her mouth close to Tzuyu’s ear. She felt the CEO stiffen in her hold. That wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t do at all. So she hummed a random comforting tune in her ear as Lia ran her hands against Tzuyu’s back coaxing her to relax in her embrace.

“I-I guess it isn’t a problem for her to know I’m taken.”

Lia smiled against Tzuyu’s temple and placed another sweet kiss on her delicate skin.

“Of course it isn’t a problem, Daepyo-nim. That’s not a problem at all.”

...

_I, I know where to lay  
I know what to say  
It's all the same  
And I, I know how to play  
I know this game  
It's all the same_

A week has passed.

A week since that fateful Sunday conversation. It was quick. Almost rushed. Too rushed. But she paid it no mind. She didn’t pay anything any attention lately. She didn’t have the interest to do so. She was too dazed. Too confused. If it weren’t for Lia, she wouldn’t even know what to do with the situation. She’s been drinking a lot again lately. She couldn’t help it. It was like her system needed it to function. Like she couldn’t get through the day without it. Not when she felt as if she was back to square one. she didn’t know why she felt that way but she knew it was going to be alright because she had Lia.

So she keeps her eyes closed. Like she always did.

A week has passed.

A week of Tzuyu waking up to Lia’s face almost every morning. It was almost a routine even though it hasn’t been that long. It felt mechanical. Robotic almost. Waking up with Lia. Going to work. Coming home to Lia. Sleeping next to her. Repeat. She knew exactly what to say. She knew exactly what to do. It was all practiced. Almost scripted. She was beginning to think that this was no different from her past one-night stand escapades. The only difference is that she sees Lia all the time now. It’s all the same. Tzuyu let herself be dragged along. It was easy for her to let Lia hold the reigns to their relationship or whatever this is they have going on. Lia knew better, anyway. Lia always seemed to know what to do. So with a long swig from her glass of whiskey, she lets herself be dragged from the couch to her bedroom.

She keeps her eyes closed. Like she always did.

_Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you  
But she'll never stay, they never do  
Now if I keep my eyes closed she feels just like you  
But you've been replaced  
I'm face to face with someone new_

Nights were surprisingly longer. Days were shorter. Whiskey wasn’t helping her at all. Then it was time to come home to Lia again. It didn’t send exhilaration to her veins. There was no adrenaline pumping through her blood at the thought of coming home or waking up. It was alright, she guesses because at least Lia was there to help her get through it.

So she closes her eyes tight. Like she always did.

When Lia wraps her in an embrace, Tzuyu let’s herself be pulled against the idol’s body. She complies and wraps her arms around her as well. Something in the back of her mind kept telling her it wasn’t the arms she wanted to be engulfed in.

She ignores the thought. Like she always did.

When Lia presses her lips against hers, Tzuyu keeps her eyes shut until Lia decides to stop. She lets her kiss her though. Something in the back of her mind kept telling her it wasn’t the pair of soft lips she was thinking of.

She ignores the thought. Like she always did.

When Lia moans out her name in ecstasy, Tzuyu keeps her eyes closed until she hears Lia’s soft breathing indicating she’s passed out. Something in the back of her mind kept telling her it isn’t the voice she wanted to hear.

She ignores the thought. Like she always did.

She keeps doing it anyway. Over and over again. Not from pleasure but from something else. In desperation. Desperation to forget someone else’s lips that have grazed her skin. In her mind, it was just a step to completely forget. A step to replace old memories with Lia’s. So she lets Lia do anything she wanted. Yet she shuts her eyes closed. It seems like that’s the one thing she can do to pretend. Pretend she was in someone else’s arms. Not hers. Not Lia’s.

She ignores the thought. Like she always did.

_Would've gave it all for you, cared for you  
So tell me where I went wrong  
Would've gave it all for you, cared for you  
My lover, my liar  
Would've trade it all for you, there for you  
So tell me how to move on  
Would've trade it all for you, cared for you  
My lover, my liar_

It was a Friday night of the first week.

They were cuddled up on her couch just aimlessly watching television. Well, Lia was watching. Tzuyu was lost in thought. ITZY was scheduled for a commercial shoot at Chou Inc. tomorrow so Lia took it upon herself to stay the night saying that it was only practical for them to ride together to work the following morning. Tzuyu just agreed like she usually would. She’s been lost in thought for the past few days and she was trying to figure out why. Lia would always tell her it was because she wasn’t eating or sleeping right. So she’s been trying to change that. The idol kept bringing over healthier food options and making her sleep a full 8 hours. For that she was really thankful Lia was here.

The evening played out like every other evening when Lia was around. They both retired to bed and Lia placed herself on her chest as she threw an arm around Tzuyu’s abdomen like she always did. Tzuyu stayed still making herself as comfortable as possible ready to drift into restless unconsciousness like she always did.

But unlike the previous evenings, Tzuyu woke up to Lia gently caressing her cheek. It was in a loving manner. She could tell. Unlike the previous evenings, it wasn’t because the younger idol was coaxing her into having sex. No it wasn’t like that at all. It was almost as if she didn’t want to wake Tzuyu up. So she stayed still and listened as Lia’s gentle whisper filled the silence.

“I hope you don’t forget how much pain and hurt she put you through. I don’t know what she did or what she said to make you soft for her again but hopefully it isn’t enough for her to steal you back. I know you won’t admit it but it’s plain to see that you still hold her in a special place in your heart. Don’t worry though, I’ll do everything in my power to get rid of it. Of her. I’ll be the one to replace her so you won’t ever need to long for her again or anyone else for that matter. Sleep well, my Tzuyu.” 

She kept her eyes closed. Like she always did.

_Now if I keep my eyes closed she looks just like you  
But she'll never stay, they never do  
Now if I keep my eyes closed she feels just like you  
But you've been replaced  
I'm face to face with someone new_

It was a Saturday morning. ITZY was on set being filmed as they performed their song ‘Wannabe’ for the commercial shoot. It wasn’t a pleasant morning to be exact. Not when her Mina Unnie burned holes through her skull. It was a shock, she understood that. When Lia placed a kiss on her lips earlier before walking on set, Mina didn’t bother hiding the shock in her face followed by a raised eyebrow.

The lights around the studio was turned off and the only source of light was coming from the studio lights all turned towards ITZY as per Mina’s instructions. Everything else was blanketed in darkness. It was quiet on set. Not just because it was time for shooting. But because everyone seemed to have felt the tension in the room.

Tzuyu timidly sat beside Mina behind the technical desk and stole a glance at her Unnie’s face. She thought Mina would’ve been elated to know she was trying to stick to one woman but she thought wrong as she gazed at her Unnie’s disinterested features. She wouldn’t even look at her. So Tzuyu reached her hand out and placed it on top of Mina’s. Even in the dark she could still see her Unnie’s eyes soften at her gesture.

That made her breathe easier. Knowing that her Unnie was still responding to her like she always would so Tzuyu looked around if anyone was watching and when she was satisfied that no one was, she timidly placed a nervous kiss on Mina’s temple. She didn’t know why. Maybe because she wanted her reassurance or maybe it was a kiss of apology. She felt like she did something wrong. She just didn’t know what it was.

Mina finally turned her head to gaze at her. It wasn’t a look of comfort. Not a look of reassurance like she would’ve liked to see. It was probing. Like her Unnie was searching for something. An answer maybe.

“Do you love her?”

It was barely a whisper but Tzuyu heard her. Mina didn’t break their gaze, instead she softened her orbs and coaxed the CEO into really re-evaluating herself. It seemed endless. Like she’s been thinking for hours when in reality it was just a couple of minutes. Maybe two. She didn’t know.

Tzuyu tried. Tried to lie through her teeth. She wanted to lie. To tell her Unnie that yes, she was in fact devotedly in love with Lia who was singing on the other end of the set. She was desperate. Desperate to convince Mina that she really was. But in her struggle, Tzuyu couldn’t figure out who she was really trying to convince. Her Unnie or herself?

It all got blurred and mixed up in the ruckus of her thoughts. Everything was all jumbled up. Yet again, she was in a war with herself.

Her mouth opened and closed multiple times as she felt Mina intertwine their fingers and wait for her answer patiently. Tzuyu’s brows were furrowed, her jaw was tight, and her hand was gripping Mina’s tightly as she felt her Unnie’s thumb run over her skin in comfort. She took a moment to breathe and let herself feel.

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t lie.

Deep down she knew. She knew the unadulterated truth. She wasn’t in love with Lia. She never was. Never will be. No matter how hard she tried. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself. No matter how much she closed her eyes. Her heart never wanted to belong to anyone else. She felt her eyes fill with unshed tears and saw how Mina’s eyes shone in concern under the soft lights of the studio and she knew her Unnie saw her orbs glisten as well. She felt Mina squeeze her hand gently.

Tzuyu dropped her eyes in shame. In defeat. In absolute surrender.

She shook her head no and that’s all that Mina needed to see before Tzuyu felt herself being gathered into her Unnie’s warm embrace, the familiarly comforting cherry blossom scent filling her senses. Her Unnie’s comforting voice whispered in her ear.

“Open your eyes, Chewy.”

_They don't realize that I'm thinking about you  
It's nothing new, it's nothing new_

Two weeks have passed.

Two weeks since she agreed to make her relationship with Lia known to both their friends. Two weeks seemed longer to Tzuyu. Like she’s been in this cycle for a year or so. A lot has changed in the past weeks. Her closet, for one, has now been occupied by Lia’s clothes as well. She didn’t know when it happened just that she noticed how gradually it filled up with the idol’s clothes. Now Lia didn’t have to bring an overnight bag at her place.

Another was that her friends have stopped visiting. She didn’t know if it was out of respect because they knew Lia was basically living with her as well or if they just weren’t too keen on seeing the idol make herself at home in her penthouse. Either way she didn’t like it. It was unusual for her not to have at least a couple of visits from Mina, Chaeyoung and Dahyun throughout a week. The only place she could see them nowadays were either at work and if Dahyun randomly drops by during their lunch break. 

_Now if I keep my eyes closed she looks just like you  
But she'll never stay, they never do  
Now if I keep my eyes closed she feels just like you  
But you've been replaced  
I'm face to face with someone new_

She tried anyway. She knew for a fact that she didn’t love her but Tzuyu still wanted to try. She could learn to love her, couldn’t she? Yes, she supposed she could. This was better than just randomly sleeping with different women every night. Lia cared for her. She was eternally thankful for the idol’s affections as well as her constant concern about the CEO’s well-being.

It wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t waking up alone anymore. Lia was there. Ready to engulf her in an early morning embrace before she had to depart towards work. She wasn’t coming home to an empty home anymore. Lia was there. Ready to sit down and listen to how her day went with a healthy meal on the kitchen counter. She wasn’t going out in the dead of night to search for a warm body to spend it with. Lia was there. Surprisingly, the idol adapted well to Tzuyu’s stamina. Ready to submit herself to the CEO’s needs. Lia didn’t lie when she said long ago that she was a good distraction. A week turned into three and Tzuyu thought she was getting used to their little routine.

It’s almost a month. A month of Mina refusing to visit her penthouse so instead Tzuyu would spend at least a night at her Unnie’s apartment with Dahyun sleeping over as well. It bothered her but it was the best she could do for now. Work was all the same. Sales were shooting up after the release of ITZY and Stray Kids’ commercials. Tomorrow was the final shoot. Jihyo’s.

Sometimes, more than she’d like to admit. Tzuyu would imagine someone else in Lia’s place. She would imagine looking in someone else’s eyes. She would still close her eyes shut and imagine someone else engulfing her in an embrace. At night, she’d keep her eyes closed imagining someone else lying beside her.

As always, when she opens her eyes she’s faced with someone else. Someone new.

So Tzuyu keeps her eyes closed.


	19. CHAPTER XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take time to listen to:
> 
> Stay with me - Chanyeol & Punch

“I hate you.”

Jihyo was shell shocked to be exact. Not because of the words rudely spat in her face the moment Dahyun’s ‘Kingdom’ A.K.A the recording studio’s door swung open but it was because of the younger girl’s hard eyes that were locked onto Jihyo’s. Despite the evident repulsion in Dahyun’s eyes, the idol could see a pleading gaze surface underneath all the hatred she flashed.

It was a normal day just a week before her last shooting schedule for Chou Inc.’s advertising campaign and here she was visiting JYPE’s top music producer to collaborate on her new upcoming album. So she stood there, with a stack of papers in her hand and her journal book ready to present Dahyun with the lyrics and songs she came up with but the moment the girl opened the door for her she was met with a burning gaze and an indignant stance from the producer.

“I know.”

That was all she came up with. There was nothing else to be said. Nothing else to explain or elaborate on. Really she understood. She’d hate herself too if she was in Dahyun’s position not that she didn’t already hate herself to begin with. So she stood there not breaking their eye-lock as she tried to see what the younger girl would do next. Shout at her face? Slap her maybe? Just like Mina did a year ago. She would take it all in anyway. She deserved it.

“I hate you but for some reason the deities made someone else in this company much more repulsive than you. I don’t know how they did it but they did. So you can come into my studio. For now.”

For the life of her, Jihyo could not process that fast enough but she pushed it aside and let out a sigh of relief when Dahyun stepped aside to make room for her to walk inside.

The Pro Studio had everything Dahyun needed. A top of the line recording booth, Digital converts, Master clocks, Analog hardware, MIDI Controllers and a lot of other things Jihyo didn’t see back in Daniel’s studio. Nothing less for JYP’s top music producer of course. There were also comfortable couches that were pushed against the wall. Necessities when artists would stay for long periods of time to work on their songs. Currently, she could see that Dahyun had a pillow and a blanket on top of one of the couches so she could only assume she woke the producer up from a comfortable nap.

“Let me see what you got going on first then we can figure out the instrumentals and other things you’d need.”

At the far corner of the room was a table and Dahyun made herself comfortable on the other end of it while gesturing for Jihyo to sit across her. She complied and felt herself get unusually nervous about showing the younger girl her lyrics and songs she’s been working on. Not that she wasn’t confident in her song-writing skills but because it was incredibly personal to her and making Dahyun listen to songs written about her bestfriend made Jihyo break into a cold sweat. Anxiously, she sat down in front of Dahyun and slid the printed out lyrics she had while keeping her precious lyric journal close to her. Jihyo nervously played with her elegant fingers while she watched the producer sift through the papers in front of her with a pensive look on her usually playful face. It was a sight to see for Jihyo. She knew Dahyun was a top music producer given the fact that the younger girl produced almost all of JYPE’s hit songs for the past two years now but she’s never seen Dahyun in a professional setting before so having to see it up close made her feel a sense of pride for her younger friend. Well, ex-friend but the pale girl will always have a special place in her heart. Dahyun was a younger sister to her and she always will be.

“I assume due to the lyrics that you want the album to be more toned down and raw, am I correct?”

Jihyo just nodded in response as the producer kept reading through the lyrics. Her previous mini album didn’t have the usual powerful dance track like the others. No loud music nor intense dance beats. It was vulnerable. Raw. Stripped down. She wanted to release songs close to her heart and she wanted to stick with that even though she was in a different company.

The air shifted inside the room as Dahyun kept reading her work. She could feel it. So when she saw the pale girl pause she knew her hunch was right. It was quiet aside from the fact that they were literally in a sound proof studio.

It was unnervingly silent.

She saw how Dahyun’s eyes stopped moving signalling that she wasn’t reading anymore. Her nimble fingers stopped sifting through the papers and stopped leaving random notes on the lyrics. Jihyo didn’t have to wait that long before the producer spoke in a firm voice.

“Did you love her?”

Dahyun asked her without lifting her head. It was said rather firmly. Uncharacteristically serious especially coming from Dahyun which made it even more nerve wracking for Jihyo. She knew that as of the moment she was not talking to Dahyun the music producer. She was talking to Dahyun as Tzuyu’s best friend. Tzuyu’s sister. One of her main protectors. Still, Jihyo answered without missing a beat.

“I do.”

Jihyo spoke with so much conviction yet conveyed in a low gentle tone. That made Dahyun lift her head up to look at her. The younger girl had a inquisitive look in her eyes. As if challenging her and willing her to break her stance but to no avail. Jihyo didn’t break. Not for a moment. She knew what she felt and she was not going to give Dahyun or anyone for that matter, a reason to doubt the one thing she was sure of and if there was one thing in the world she was absolutely certain about, it was this. All her anxiousness earlier now completely wiped away as she answered with conviction that yes.

She is and she will always be devotedly in love with Tzuyu.

If she needed to stare each and every single one of their friends in the eye while begging on her knees to prove it to them then she will. She’ll swallow her pride and take it because she knew that she deserved it. Just like how she deserved Dahyun challenging her right now.

“You do? Well she’s with Lia now.”

“I know.”

Pain. Pain dripped from her voice as Jihyo dropped her head in surrender. It’s been almost a month. A month of Lia eyeing her with a smug look in her eye every time they see each other in the company halls or when ITZY invites her to eat dinner with them. She guesses that she deserved to be replaced by someone much more aggressive in keeping Tzuyu by their side. Even though she does not like Lia after the stunt she pulled in her dorm weeks ago, she could commend the lengths the girl would go for just to make sure Tzuyu stays with her. Jihyo didn’t have the courage nor did she have the basic logic to do that a year ago. Maybe that’s why Lia deserved to be with Tzuyu and not her. That’s why Lia was with Tzuyu and not her. Because no matter what, no matter what the length, she was willing to fight tooth and nail for it. For Tzuyu.

“So you’re just going to spend the rest of your idol career writing songs about Tzuyu? Is that it? I hate you even more now.”

Jihyo lifted her head to see that Dahyun had an even more irate expression thrown at her. She couldn’t comprehend what the producer was getting at. What did she want her to do?

“What are you getting at, Dubu?”

The moment the nickname slipped out of her mouth, Dahyun’s gaze hardened. Her mouth morphed into a disgusted sneer and she could see how the girl’s small hands almost closed into a fist only stopping because of the papers she was holding.

“It’s Dahyun for you, Park Jisoo. I’m saying that if you love her like you claim then you wouldn’t just be sitting there looking like a foolishly miserable jigglypuff ready to be crushed like the complete idiot that you are.”

Her jaw dropped. Both from the rude words thrown at her and because it sounded like the younger girl wanted her to do something about Tzuyu’s current situation. She recalled telling Lia how she’d make sure to step in the moment the younger idol made the slightest mistake but right now it seemed like Lia’s been doing everything right. Jihyo wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Should she be pleased that Lia’s been treating Tzuyu right or should she be wretched with jealousy because someone else is making Tzuyu happy? It’s safe to say she was both.

Jihyo might have looked even more stupid with her mouth open and her eyes wide in shock but it took her a while to process Dahyun’s sudden outburst. She has never heard the younger girl speak so rudely but before Jihyo could reply, Dahyun kept on speaking as the younger girl’s face became beet red in anger.

“I had a really interesting talk with Jeongyeon over some drinks a couple of nights ago.”

Jeongyeon. She almost forgot about how Jeongyeon knew things she didn’t want to say to the others. If it was possible, her heart hammered even more violently in her chest. She could feel the air thicken in the room making it harder for her to inhale easily as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing. Her hands were clasped together tightly as she tried to stop them from shaking. Jihyo tried to ground herself and closed her mouth. Her shock was wiped off as she felt nervous as to what Jeongyeon might have revealed to Dahyun. But looking in Dahyun’s knowing eyes, she knew the girl knows everything. Well, just everything Jeongyeon deduced. It doesn’t make it less true.

“You’re an idiot for letting him snake his way around you.”

“I know.”

“You’re an idiot for being too stupid in believing the words he said.”

“I know.”

“You’re an idiot for letting your insecurities rule over your emotions and making Tzuyu suffer like she was some kind of collateral damage.”

“I know.”

“You’re an idiot for falling into his cheap shot at emotional manipulation. Really, I didn’t expect you of all people to fall for that shit or maybe it was because of the mixed in alcohol?”

“I know.”

“You’re an idiot, mental and emotional manipulation aside. I know it’s not something to be taken lightly but you’re still an idiot.”

“I know.”

Dahyun hit every cord. Her replies were becoming weaker and weaker. Softer. Shakier. Until it was barely a whisper. Her gaze was dropped once again when she felt tears rush to her eyes. While Jihyo’s responses gradually became weaker, Dahyun’s became louder. Stronger. Heated. The producer’s voice became so indignant to the point where Jihyo noticed the younger girl was controlling herself from shouting at her face. Jihyo was fighting back a sob and Dahyun watched her.

“You’re just a walking, talking and breathing idiot.”

“I know, Dahyun.”

She recognized that. She’s come to terms with that fact a long time ago but it still hurt when it was spat back into her face. Still, Jihyo lifted her head to look at Dahyun’s raging eyes. She admits it. She admits to her faults. Her shortcomings. Her idiocy.

“Tears won’t change the fact that you’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

Jihyo was openly crying now. Tears streamed down her face in a silent cry as she watched Dahyun crumple the papers in her small hands.

“Good. Now come, I have an idea for the instrumentals in your depressing album.”

She breathed deeply willing her tears to subside as Dahyun walked towards the electric piano set up at her workstation. It took her a moment before she followed the producer and sat at the seat beside her.

“Sing your title track first. So I can figure out what melody to pair it with.”

Jihyo closed her eyes and succumbed to the unbearable ache in her chest like she always did whenever she performs her songs. It wasn’t hard to do that especially when the younger girl threw her into an emotional state just seconds ago. She felt Dahyun’s eyes on her but she paid it no mind as she breathed deeply and sung into the silence of the studio filling it with the melancholy of her voice.

  
나의 두 눈을 감으면  
When I close my eyes

떠오르는 그 눈동자  
I see those eyes  
  


자꾸 가슴이 시려서  
My heart kept aching

잊혀지길 바랬어  
So I wanted to forget  
  


꿈이라면 이제 깨어났으면 제발  
If this is a dream, please let me wake up

정말 네가 나의 운명인 걸까  
Are you really my destiny?

넌 falling you  
Falling you  
  


가슴은 뛰고 있어  
My heart is racing  
여전히 널 보고 있어  
I'm still looking at you

자꾸만 숨이 막혀서  
Because I keep running out of breath  
  


아직은 멀리에서  
I'm still watching over you

너를 지켜보고 싶어  
From far away

내가 또 왜 이러는지  
Why am I being like this?  
  


Just like all the times she sung one of her songs, just like every time she closed her eyes she couldn’t help but think of her. It was always her and Jihyo was succumbing to the fact that it will always be about her. Always about Tzuyu. Time seemed to have slowed down as she focused on each and every lyric. The room was filled with her voice. Her melancholy. It was the most recent song she’s written. She wrote it a week after the first time she stepped inside Chou Inc. It was everything she wanted but failed to say. So like all the other songs, she decided to sing it instead. Hoping and praying that maybe just maybe Tzuyu would listen to it. Listen to her. Would she care? Would she understand? Would it even matter?  
  


꺼져버리던 희미한 불빛  
The faint light was turned off

너로 인해 다시 타오르는 눈빛  
But my eyes are lighting up again because of you

마치 오래전부터 널 사랑한 것 같아  
Feels like I've loved you from a long time ago

무언가에 이끌리듯 끌려온 것 같아  
Feels like I'm being pulled by something  
  


Dahyun slowly started accompanying her with the piano as she sung. Causing the lyrics to fully evolve into a song. The gentle yet equally heart wrenching tune of the instrument blending in well with the ambiance of her lyrics. It was lovely. Yet forlorn. It made her chest constrict with the familiar pain she’s gotten used to.

나의 두 눈을 감으면  
When I close my eyes  
떠오르는 그 눈동자  
I see those eyes  
  


자꾸 가슴이 시려서  
My heart kept aching  
잊혀지길 바랬어  
So I wanted to forget  
  


(꿈이라면)  
(If this is a dream)

꿈이라면 이제 깨어났으면 (꿈이 아니길)  
If this is a dream, please let me wake up (it's not a dream)

제발 (혹시 네가)  
(Maybe you are)

정말 네가 나의 운명인걸까  
Are you really my destiny?

(운명이라면)  
(If you are my destiny)

넌 falling you

Falling you  
  
  


Dahyun ended with a mellow tune as she let the last keys of the piano resonate in the studio. Her lyrics were melancholic but the way Dahyun accompanied it with her piano made it much more heart wrenching than it already was. She couldn’t help but drop her head down as she felt her chest constrict as she heard the gentle tune of the piano subside. This was why she wanted to write her own songs rather than have a music producer write it for her. This is what sets her different from other artists. She was raw. She connected with the song because it was her own. She knew how to convey it because it was hers. It was all the words she wished she could say but was too spineless to voice out and as of the moment it seemed that she was too late as well given the current situation.

“For a vocalist you can somewhat rap decently and as much as I love seeing you miserable, can you stop? Your songs are already depressing as it is. It’s starting to irritate me.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not the one you need to say sorry to.”

“I know.”

She kept her head down as she heard Dahyun’s irritated sigh once again. She expected the producer to grit her teeth at her or yell in her face. She expected an irritated response since that’s the only way Dahyun talked to her nowadays. The idol shut her eyes closed, ready to accept the next irate response from the producer. Yet nothing came.

Instead, Jihyo heard another sigh from the younger girl. Not an irritated one like earlier. It was a weary sigh. That made the idol lift her head only to see that Dahyun was already watching her with equally drained looking eyes that mirrored her own. The rage in Dahyun’s eyes were now wiped away as she stared into Jihyo’s nervous gaze.

“It’s not enough that you know, Jihyo. Do something.”

...

“Oh Mina Unnie! It’s nice to see you. Unfortunately, Tzuyu’s not home yet.”

It a rainy Saturday evening. A week before the last commercial shoot for the phone advertisements. A week before Jihyo’s shoot. Mina wasn’t blind nor was she stupid. She knew what Lia was doing. She didn’t need to see it with her own eyes to know. The way she saw how Lia interacted with Sana weeks ago was more than enough. She didn’t even want to think about how Tzuyu regressed this past month.

Mina didn’t plan to drop by Tzuyu’s penthouse. Actually, she was blatantly avoiding this place. But Tzuyu was currently in her apartment just a few floors down currently playing Mario Kart with Dahyun and Chaeyoung as they tried to lift the youngest girl’s spirits. The CEO needed spare clothes given that she was going to stay the night with her and Chaeyoung so she volunteered to go and get her clothes and some blankets. Also because her favourite penguin stuffed toy was here but she wouldn’t tell the younger girls that.

It seemed like she couldn’t get a break when her pleasant evening turned sour the moment she entered the penthouse and caught sight of Lia lounging on Tzuyu’s couch like she owned the place. Just the sight of the younger girl made her head ache. So Mina stood dominantly in front of the young idol as Lia flashed her one of her bright wide smiles.

“Still have that spare key I see?”

Lia wasn’t supposed to be here. In fact, she wasn’t even supposed to be entering and exiting Tzuyu’s penthouse as she pleased. Especially not with bottles of whiskey now displayed on top of Tzuyu’s coffee table. The idol didn’t bother moving from the couch and Mina watched as Lia’s smile twitch ever so slightly. If she wasn’t observing as keenly as she was then she wouldn’t have caught on it but she did.

It made Lia look different. Less sweet like she usually would be. 

The air thickened inside the penthouse as they stayed quiet for a while. It was the only time Mina took in her surroundings as she subtly roamed her eyes around and locked gazes with the idol again. It seemed like Lia was planning some sort of evening for her and Tzuyu considering the whiskey bottles on the coffee table.

It was unnervingly silent. It was almost 10 in the evening but still the silence disturbed her. The penthouse was lit quite faintly blanketing them in partial darkness. Dim. Uncomfortably dim. It made the hairs on Mina’s arms stand up and she was grateful that Tzuyu insisted she wear her precious hoodie. The living area was quite cold as well. Given that it was raining, she should’ve anticipated that. Didn’t make it any less uncomfortable for the Japanese woman.

The only lights turned on were Tzuyu’s floor lamp that was positioned at the edge of the couch on the side where Lia was lounging on and another one at the far corner of the room. It illuminated Lia’s skin quite gently. Giving her skin a subtle glow. Her eyes glimmered as well. It twinkled. But it wasn’t inviting nor did it give Mina a sense of calmness. 

“Of course, Unnie. I’m Tzuyu’s girlfriend now so I should have one just in case. She’s going to give one to me eventually anyway.”

Mina could hear blood pumping in her ear out of irritation. Lia’s sweet voice did not dissipate her annoyance even a little bit. She scoffed and smiled sweetly down at the idol while placing her hands inside the pocket of Tzuyu’s favorite hoodie that she was currently wearing in order to ground herself. The way Tzuyu’s penthouse looked right now really set Mina off.

“Tzuyu may be your girlfriend but that doesn’t mean I’m your Unnie. It also doesn’t mean you can come here whenever you want even when Tzuyu’s not around. Especially not with a stolen key. Are you going to say that she left the door open again as an excuse?”

The Japanese woman replied in an apathetic manner. This was not the first sarcastic conversation she’s had in her life and she knew how to play her cards well. The silent ones always do. Mina walked slowly towards the other end of the couch where Lia didn’t occupy and picked up her penguin stuffed toy resting on it. She made a mental note to take it to the laundry shop in case Lia ever touched it whenever she visited Tzuyu.

“Oh and I know my Chewy isn’t here because she’s sleeping with me for the evening. So I suggest you go home, Lia-ssi.”

Mina knew she looked rather cuddly and soft at the moment with Tzuyu’s large hoodie on and a pair of gray cotton shorts but her words suggested otherwise. She knew how to choose her words carefully and she knew how to push anyone’s buttons. Lia was no exception to that. So when she said Tzuyu was going to sleep with her, albeit literally, she knew Lia would not be too fond of her word play.

She was right.

Lia’s smile now morphed into a tight lip line and her eyes hardened as well. Under the faint lamp light, Mina could see Lia’s eyes glint in irritation as well. But instead of leaving like she told her to, the younger girl just leaned further back into the couch stretching her pale legs over the expanse of the couch as she did so. That was when Mina noticed how the younger girl was wearing one of Tzuyu’s large shirt. She was right about her hunch, Lia really did plan something for Tzuyu this evening.

“Wouldn’t it be proper if I start calling you Unnie right now? You’ll be seeing me quite often from now on anyway.”

Mina noticed how Lia’s tone became stiffer. Even how she said ‘Unnie’ was somewhat sarcastic. Almost like she was challenging her. If Lia wanted to play it like this then Mina was only too glad to comply with her mocking statements.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, dear. But anyway enough of this. I told Chewy I’d be quick. She just needed spare clothes for the evening seeing as she didn’t want me to give her favourite hoodie back.”

It wasn’t inviting, the way she said it. There was no sweetness in her voice as she talked in a lower deeper register. It was mocking. Mina’s voice dropped and sounded rough in the edges. She challenged Lia back. She was intimidating and she knew it. Mina knew it affected Lia when she saw how uncomfortable the younger girl shifted on the couch as she felt the idol’s gaze eyeing the hoodie she was wearing.

“I’m happy you two could spend time together tonight, Unnie. She’s been rather vocal about how much she misses you. She talks about you too much actually.”

Mina scoffed at how Lia tried to sound sweet. She wanted to commend the girl for trying not to escalate their conversation but it was too late for that. She pissed her off too much.

“Don’t worry, Lia-ssi. Chewy’s been adamant about spending more time with me from now on and I don’t mind that at all. I’m sure you don’t as well?”

Her skin prickled even worse as she felt heat shoot up to her head. Maybe due to the tension that has now filled the whole penthouse or because the younger girl couldn’t mask the jealousy in her eyes as they continued to lock gazes. Neither one backing down.

It was a stand-off.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, Unnie. Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t mind but what about your own girlfriend, Chaeyoung Unnie? Wouldn’t she mind if you kept spending time with another girl other than her?”

There it was. Lia was attacking her. This was the Lia she knew was hiding behind that sweet little persona she projected. Her sweet voice was now complete mixed with dripping disdain and her usually bright cheery eyes were now completely dark. If Mina was irritated the moment she entered the penthouse, she was completely livid now when the idol decided to not only bring Tzuyu into the topic but Chaeyoung as well. She prayed Lia wouldn’t dare mention Dahyun’s name because Mina will not be able to hold back after that.

“You don’t have to worry about my relationship, Lia-ssi. I suggest you worry about yours because if you keep this act up I doubt there would be anything left of it.”

The idol stood up from her spot and was now an arm’s length away from where Mina was stood. Mina knew that she hit every cord possible to bring this concealed side of Lia out in the open and she was rather satisfied at the result. She’s never seen anything like it, how Lia stood indignantly in her spot. Like she was marking the place. Making sure to leave essences of herself in every corner of this room.

The idol might be smaller than her but she knew how to project dominance as well and that surprised Mina. It was like standing in front of a completely different person. Mina didn’t yield. Of course not.

“Why? Because you’re going to take her away from me? Why are you doing this, Mina Unnie? Do you want her all to yourself too?”

It was almost laughable for Mina. If the younger girl wasn’t being incredibly irritating, Mina would have considered taking pity at how insecure she sounded. She sounded so threatened. It was a rather pitiful sight.

“I don’t need to take away someone who was never yours to begin with.”

Denial. It threw Mina off even more seeing how Lia clearly didn’t agree to her statement. Lia’s face softened and her eyes were wide and imploring. It was almost like staring at a child. Lia looked so innocent with her smile so soft and her eyes twinkling against the gentle light of the lamp hitting her porcelain skin.

“But she is, Unnie. I don’t understand why we couldn’t just get along. Why are you so threatened by my relationship with Tzuyu? You’re too irrationally against me, don’t you think? Aren’t you being too unfair, Mina Unnie? I helped her heal, Unnie. Heal from her past. From Jihyo. We’re on the same side.”

Gas lighting. She was gas lighting onto her. Mina caught onto it quickly. She caught onto every single thing Lia was doing and that made her even more livid. Mina could feel her hands close into fists. That was where Lia was wrong. They were never in the same side. She never tried to manipulate Tzuyu into hating Jihyo more. Never tried to put more fire into the pit by whispering poison into the younger girl’s ear and she never claimed to be the sole reason why Tzuyu endured the hell she walked through. That’s where they differ. Mina never glorified herself the way Lia shamelessly did. It made Mina grit her teeth in plain irritation.

“Then why is she in my apartment looking even more lost and broken than she was a year and a half ago?”

Mina trailed closer to where Lia was standing. Like stalking her prey. It was dim and silent. Mina could hear the blood pumping in her ear intensify as she stepped closer to the younger girl. She saw how Lia’s face was blanketed by faint shadows. How her eyes hardened considerably now knowing one of the reasons Tzuyu was sleeping at Mina’s tonight. The Japanese woman towered over Lia as she spoke. Mina’s voice dropped even further as she slowly uttered every single word that came out of her mouth making sure Lia heard everything. 

“You think you fixed her? My dear, Tzuyu went through hell and still came out an angel. You didn’t heal her. You don’t have that kind of power.”

In that moment, she could see something in Lia’s eyes break. It was as if Mina slapped her in the face. Mina knew she won this round.

“Then why don’t you just tell her how awful you think I am? Tell her you don’t like me.”

Lia was playing the victim. The older girl watched again how Lia’s face morphed into a dejected expression. Like a kicked puppy. The younger girl’s eyes suddenly filled with unshed tears and her voice trembled as she spoke. Mina’s head was throbbing. It was like she threw herself into a mental game. A mental war. That’s what this is. Again, she caught onto it quickly.

“That’s the difference between you and me. I never wanted to own her. Never wanted to manipulate her decisions. I don’t spoon feed her. There are things that only she should learn on her own and by the way you’re acting, it wouldn’t be long before she finally does. My Chewy is clever. She’ll catch on.”

_“Stop avoiding me please. I can’t take it. Not from you, Unnie.”_

_It was a typical Friday afternoon. Currently, it was half past twelve and she just finished shooing away Chaeyoung as she told her to eat lunch without her seeing as she was currently occupied with something else promising to make it up to her at dinner. Mina was busy typing out emails to be sent and reports for the weekly company sales report. The Executive was quite pleased to see the constant rise of sales and popularity their brand has gained. A large thanks to the advertisements and commercials they’ve been releasing. She was too busy to notice her door opening and closing gently as Tzuyu tiptoed her way inside._

_Not until Tzuyu’s worried voice gently echoed in her office._

_Mina lifted her head in surprise and tucked a stay strand of blonde hair behind her ear as she watched Tzuyu stand timidly in front of her desk. She still couldn’t wrap her head around how the CEO looked like such an adorable puppy in closed doors like she didn’t just berate multiple Chief Executives and managers earlier this morning during the company meeting. Mina was quite sure she heard some associates talk about how Tzuyu apparently fired someone on the spot earlier as well._

_“I’m not avoiding you, Chewy. What makes you think that?”_

_She didn’t like how detached Tzuyu seemed to be. It bothered her how the younger girl seemed afraid to even come near her or how she was nervous to talk to Mina lately. It was like Tzuyu was starting to distance herself away from her._

_“It’s been almost three weeks since you last visited the penthouse. We haven’t been sharing meals together either. You don’t call as much as you used to. We don’t talk unless it’s something about work. It just feels like you’re so far away. Like I couldn’t reach you anymore. I don’t like it, Unnie.”_

_Mina furrowed her brows. That wasn’t right. She called Tzuyu multiple times throughout the past three weeks and it always went straight to voicemail. In her head, she thought Tzuyu was the one avoiding her. That was strange. That was really odd indeed._

_Tzuyu looked so broken. So lost. Despite still looking like she stepped out of a magazine cover, Tzuyu looked so helpless. It broke Mina’s heart. Quickly, she stood up and made her way towards the anxious CEO._

_Before Mina could even reach Tzuyu she immediately stopped walking. Mina caught a whiff of something strong. Something she’s hasn’t smelled from Tzuyu this strongly for quite a long time now. Alcohol. Tzuyu smelled like whiskey. It was so strong that Mina didn’t even have to stand in front of Tzuyu to catch a whiff of it._

_Hurriedly, the Japanese woman closed the distance between them and gently cupped the CEO’s warm cheeks. She guesses Tzuyu found relief when Mina’s cold palms touched her heated skin as the younger woman immediately closed her eyes at the contact and let the weight of her head be cradled on top of Mina’s hands._

_“Chewy, how much have you been drinking lately?”_

_Mina saw how Tzuyu’s brows furrowed in contemplation and her shoulders shrug._

_“I-I don’t know. A lot? Doesn’t matter. It helps me function. Lia always brings refills for my whiskey stocks.”_

_She frowned at that. As much as she didn’t want to meddle with Tzuyu’s personal life it seemed like it was getting too out of hand. If Tzuyu’s drinking habits worsened exponentially, Mina was quite concerned about the mental and emotional repercussions this might have. She knew it was Tzuyu’s coping mechanism when she finds things too overwhelming to handle._

_It was her way to numb the pain._

_A distraction that Tzuyu picked up on when she was in Taiwan. But what was she distracting herself from this time? Mina didn’t like it but she let it be because Tzuyu always kept it controlled and moderate. Up until now. She didn’t know what was happening to the younger girl and she felt awful that her Chewy spent three weeks walking on eggshells around her because she thought Mina was avoiding her. She didn’t know what Tzuyu was trying to run away from or what caused her to feel overwhelmed but she knew it needed to be resolved and addressed._

_Gently, Mina lowered her hands so that she could run her palms over the length of Tzuyu’s arms. The younger girl opened her eyes at the sensation. Mina was trying to get her to focus. To ground herself. She knew it was working when Tzuyu gazed into her eyes._

_“I thought you promised Unnie not to get too drunk anymore, Chewy-yah?”_

_Tzuyu’s eyes filled with guilt the moment Mina started talking. It was overwhelming to the point that the older girl stopped running her hands on Tzuyu’s arm. Instead, she gently pulled the girl closer to her and wrapped her arms around Tzuyu’s neck. She felt the younger girl lean into her willingly. Tzuyu placed her arms around Mina’s waist and tucked her head inside the crook of Mina’s neck. It was a relief for both of them to be wrapped in each other’s arms after three weeks of uncertainty. Mina felt Tzuyu’s shoulders drop and the younger girl comfortable leaned her weight onto her as she felt herself be pulled closer to Tzuyu’s body._

_“I’m sorry, Unnie. It just hurt too much.”_

_The CEO’s voice was muffled but Mina understood her. Tzuyu’s body tensed once again. So Mina placed a comforting hand at the back of Tzuyu’s head and threaded her fingers into her hair immediately feeling the girl relax into her hold once again._

_“Can you tell Unnie what exactly hurts?”_

_She was gentle in speaking. Tzuyu was drunk after all and she knew how sensitive the girl was towards loud noises whenever she was intoxicated. By the way she strongly smelled like whiskey, Mina could only assume Tzuyu drank more than she normally does on a daily basis. She could still smell the faint lavender scent on Tzuyu but it was too overpowered by the strong pungent scent of whiskey. It concerned her greatly_

_“I-I don’t know exactly what it is. It just hurts, Unnie. I promise not to drink this much as long as you stop ignoring me.”_

_Mina placed a gentle kiss onto Tzuyu’s damp temple as she kept on caressing the girl’s hair._

_“I never ignored you but I would appreciate you not consuming as much alcohol. I missed you, Chewy. But you know who else misses you? DubChaeng. You left me to deal with those two for three weeks. Dahyun’s planning to spend the night with us this Saturday. Would you like to come over? Maybe that will help ease your pain.”_

_Mina felt Tzuyu smile against the skin of her neck and nod enthusiastically at her proposal. The heavy tension in her office started to dissipate as her heart begin to lighten when the younger girl silently giggled against her and pull Mina’s body closer._

_“Sorry. I miss you guys too. Don’t tell DubChaeng that though.”_

_Mina laughed at that. She was highly relieved that they patched this misunderstanding up once again. Still, one thing really bothered her._

_“Chewy, I don’t want you to think that I didn’t try calling you throughout the past three weeks. I did. I always did but it went straight to voicemail or just immediately been dropped. I assumed you rejected my calls or blocked me that’s why I thought you needed space. You never let anyone else touch your phone, right?”_

_Tzuyu straightened her posture but left her arms still wrapped securely around Mina’s waist as she now towered over the Japanese woman with her brows furrowed in confusion._

_“That’s impossible. I would’ve heard it if you called. Unless-”_

_Mina silently watched Tzuyu process the information given as confusion dripped from the tone of her voice._

_“Are you thinking that Lia did it?”_

_Mina placed her hands onto Tzuyu’s tense shoulders and felt the girl relax under her touch. She wasn’t even thinking of Lia at all but now that Tzuyu mentioned it, it was quite plausible. She didn’t like Lia, not even a little but she was not going to meddle in Tzuyu’s relationships. Accusing or even suggesting that Lia had anything to do with it seemed distasteful to Mina. That was low and Mina was not going to stoop down to that level even after knowing how Tzuyu was not in love with the woman._

_“No, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”_

_Ever since Tzuyu confirmed her relationship with the idol, never once did Mina deliberately imply or tell her how much she didn’t approve or like their affiliation with each other. No matter how much she wanted to pull Tzuyu away from the girl, Mina knew this was something the CEO needed to go through on her own. Tzuyu’s brows softened and Mina saw how the younger woman flashed her an apologetic look._

_“I’m sorry. I know you didn’t.”_

_Mina lifted her palm and caressed Tzuyu’s cheek lovingly._

_“Enough of that. Come and eat lunch with Unnie? Let’s see if Chaengie wants lunch part two.”_

_At the mention of food, Tzuyu’s eyes twinkled and the dimple on her cheek surfaced. Mina smiled at the sight as she pulled the girl outside her office._

Mina recalled how Tzuyu caught onto one of Lia’s antics last Friday and she knew the CEO would eventually stitch things on her own. She trusted in the girl’s ability to deduce things. Tzuyu will catch on.

A dominating voice cut through Mina’s thoughts and she focused her attention towards Lia’s darkened orbs that were directed at her.

“Or Tzuyu will catch onto how possessive you are of her. Don’t you think you’re meddling too much? I don’t think you realize how much you sway Tzuyu’s decisions, Mina Unnie.”

Mina was so done with this conversation. She was tired of Lia repeatedly gaslighting onto her. She was tired of repeatedly failed attempts at psychological manipulation. Frankly, her head was throbbing too much from all the mental onslaught that was occurring. Right now she just wanted to go back to her apartment and watch Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu wreak havoc in her living room.

She just needed to take out the trash first.

“I’m not like you. I don’t use Tzuyu’s weaknesses in order control her decisions. Oh just to inform you, Tzuyu put a passcode on her phone. Don’t worry she doesn’t know you tampered with it. I guess you can’t reject my calls anymore, Lia-ssi. Anyway, it’s pointless arguing with someone who believes their own lies.”

Mina gestured towards the door as she towered over the idol. That was the last straw. Lia backed away. She was caught red handed.

“Now usher yourself out before I do it for you. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that to happen.”


	20. CHAPTER XX

The Studio was the same as the day she first stepped foot on its concrete floor. The atmosphere was cold but not as daunting as it was before. Still, she felt chills run up her spine the moment she stepped in. The room was enveloped in partial darkness as the only space lit up was the space intended for the shoot moderately illuminating the other areas of the set. Multiple foot-steps could be heard reverberating against the floors as a number of staff were busy setting things up making sure everything was nothing less than perfect. All her friends were there, just like the first time but this time half of them had wide beaming grins and a giddiness to them that made the other half overflow with jealousy.

Jihyo watched as Sana essentially bounced out of the elevator the moment it opened and went straight to the tallest figure in the room. Jeongyeon followed suit but with a much more composed behavior as she greeted the tall figure that was now wrapped securely in Sana’s arms. On the other hand, Momo and Nayeon were flanked on either side of her looking onto their friends with pure jealousy and remorse in their eyes.

This was her last shoot for the company’s mobile advertisements. She was the last idol to shoot her solo advertisement so after this there would only be a couple public event schedules to attend and then she would have to only use their phone for the rest of the year as part of her contract as brand ambassador. It was up to her and the company if they wanted to renew her contract or not. That is if she yielded enough sales to deem herself as an effective marketing strategy for Chou Inc. With her upcoming comeback, Jihyo really hoped she would.

This shoot wasn’t as straight forward as the others. It wasn’t one full of smiles and poses or scripted lines and movements. It was basically a performance with ad placements. Meaning she would be performing one of her songs like the other idols have done before her as they performed their own songs while being recorded using the advertised phone model. Chou Inc. was in coordination with JYPE as they agreed to post the videos on the company Youtube page as well as flashing it on television during commercial breaks. She was nervous going into this shoot not because of the pressure it gave her but because for the first time since she became an idol, Jihyo would perform her most vulnerable song in front of the person it was written for. Tzuyu.

The idol was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Sana giggle at something Jeongyeon said. She felt Nayeon’s hand at the small of her back urging her to walk forward and Momo grip her arm as they neared the tall figure exuding a dominant air that filled the whole floor. Ever since Sana’s party, Momo has been deep in thought more often than not. She didn’t know what Momo and Tzuyu talked about but she was sure it didn’t go well basing off on how the Japanese woman seemed to be on edge ever since then. They stepped closer towards them and stopped right in front of the intimidating CEO. Jihyo looked at Tzuyu’s annoyed features as the youngest girl tried to shake off Sana’s physical affection but to no avail as Sana just kept her arms tighter around Tzuyu’s left arm.

“Good morning, Daepyo-nim.”

Jihyo bowed down deeply to pay her respects towards the CEO. Even though her heart constricted painfully in her chest, Jihyo kept her professionalism intact. She was at work and Tzuyu was her client. She lifted her head and saw Tzuyu dip hers slightly in response.

“Miss Park, let’s have a good shoot today.”

The idol let her eyes roam around Tzuyu’s stature now that she’s adjusted to the darkness as the younger girl spoke in a strong authoritative tone. Even though it was quite dim, Jihyo could still see clearly as the beams from the studio set gently caressed Tzuyu’s sharp features. The CEO looked polished and sophisticated like she always did. The air of dominance still surrounded her like a thick fog. She was untouchable. Too regal for anyone in this room. Her features a lot more mature than a year ago that was for sure. Her hair glowed as the lights bounced against it making her look even more ethereal. She wore a pair of Gray Capri pants that ended above her ankle accentuating her hips perfectly. A sophisticatedly stylish black button down hugged her torso as its sleeves were rolled up to her elbows as 3 buttons were undone showing enough skin to expose her collarbone. A pair of black tassel loafers adorned her feet making her look even more suave.

Needless to say, Tzuyu looked tremendously dapper and debonair.

Jihyo knew she wasn’t the only one still not used to this stylish version of Tzuyu as she noticed how all of them kept running their eyes up and down the CEO’s stature. Of course not in a perverted manner but in astonishment and surprise. But of course, she had to keep herself strictly professional so Jihyo smiled politely at Tzuyu.

“Yes, I’ll do my best.”

The CEO nodded at her before she gestured to her secretary and just like that Jihyo was ushered towards the dressing room. 

...

“Get off. I’m working.”

Tzuyu was going to have a headache at how Sana kept cooing at her saying something about her baby growing up. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have given the older girls permission to visit the shoot. She had a reputation to protect and an advertisement to film. But Tzuyu couldn’t deny the sudden tinge of warmth she felt but it was so foreign to her now. She didn’t trust it. Not anymore. Not like she used to. Force of habit maybe but it gave her a sense of vulnerability and Tzuyu didn’t like it. It made her feel uneasy like she didn’t have control. However, she remained composed as she should. Chou Tzuyu was nothing but professional.

The CEO ignored the Japanese woman clinging onto her arm. She ignored how both Nayeon and Momo looked at her with longing in their eyes just like the first time she saw them in this very studio months ago. Tzuyu didn’t miss the amount of remorse that filled Momo’s eyes but she couldn’t care less as of the moment. She didn’t bother greeting the other two. Didn’t bother acknowledging their presence either. Why would she? She was at work and as far as she was concerned, she was only here to make sure that her advertisements were as flawless as possible.

So she walked ahead with Jeongyeon and Sana immediately falling into step behind her and the other two trailing them. Her Mina Unnie knew they were coming especially when Sana kept bombarding all their phones ever since her birthday party. So there were already seats ready for them behind the technical desk and Tzuyu was all too eager to lead them there. Some employees eyed her strangely. More specifically, they eyed how Sana clung onto her arm like her life depended on it. Not that she blamed them. It was an unusual sight for someone else other than Mina or Chaeyoung to be clinging onto her arm this tightly. She ignored them as well, her head held high daring them to react but as expected no one gambled to even linger their eyes onto her as Tzuyu saw how they instantly averted their gazes and focused on tidying up the set instead.

This was her kingdom and no one dared to question her. She was in control.

Tzuyu finally had space to breathe when she heard Mina’s voice telling the staff to be in their positions as Jihyo stepped out of the dressing room and onto the set. Tzuyu took her position upfront beside Mina as they both were seated alongside the Director behind the filming crew. A caring voice made its way to her ear.

“Are you ready?”

The CEO turned her head to look at her Unnie. It confused her how Mina looked at her softly. Like she was preparing her for something. She didn’t understand. It was just a shoot. What couldn’t she be ready for? She was used to the older girl regarding her in such a gentle manner but there was something different with the way her Unnie’s eyes brimmed with concern. It was the same look Mina flashed her whenever the Japanese woman wanted to shield her from something. But they were at work so Tzuyu chose not to overthink even though the earlier question still baffled her and just gave her a stiff nod before returning her gaze onto the idol on set. She saw some staff still scampering around and Tzuyu felt her head heat up at the sight.

“Your incompetence isn’t wanted here and I can’t comprehend how hard it is for you to set up a literal phone for filming? It’s a phone, people. Please, let your glacial pace delay this shoot further.”

She could see her staff wince at her sharp authoritative tone as they moved faster to get into filming position. The CEO smirked in satisfaction. She loved being in control.

The studio set was simple. Stripped down and bare. The set was plain black now with a stool right in the middle. Everything was monochromatic, from the set to the black stool prop to Jihyo’s all white wardrobe. They wanted to capture different themes in every idol’s solo advertisements. Jihyo’s theme was vulnerability. Raw and unadulterated. It suited her well seeing how delicate the idol looked as she perched sitting on top of the stool barefoot with light natural makeup on.

The studio went silent as the crew left the lit part of the set leaving Jihyo as the only person surrounded in the studio’s warm lights while everyone else hid behind the dark to watch and film her in all angles possible. Tzuyu could feel her heart race but she didn’t know exactly why. Maybe because this was the last shoot and she needed it to be flawless. Nothing but flawless.

That was until the melody started playing.

Then her heart stopped completely. Tzuyu realized another part of this shoot and why it was so different from the others. The idols would be singing their song. Jihyo would be singing ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ in such a vulnerable set. The familiar tune played through the speakers. Tzuyu has heard this many times before. She played it on loop for a whole evening as she laid in bed overwhelmed by its anguished melody until it was fully engraved into her mind. She recalled how her Mina Unnie coaxed her into at least listening to it once for the sake of work back when they were still in the process of picking a song from each brand ambassador. It was a song she’s heard countless of times. A song she’s played in repeat that evening and a song she hasn’t heard since then. She didn’t dare play it again after that so this is the first time she’s hearing it again since. Tzuyu underestimated how much it hurt more hearing it sung in front of her. Sung right from Jihyo’s mouth. Now understood why Mina asked her if she was ready.

She was not.

She wasn’t prepared. Not when Jihyo looked so vulnerable in her white dress against the black set. Not when she felt her heart wrench and her hands quiver on her lap. Not when she watched as Jihyo closed her eyes and breathed deeply before opening them again as the pain from her soft orbs now amplified as she started singing.

_My selfishness that couldn't let you go_

_널_ _보낼_ _수_ _없는_ _나의_ _욕심이_ _  
Turned into an obsession that imprisoned you  
_ _집착이_ _되어_ _널_ _가뒀고_

 _Were you hurt because of me?  
_ _혹시_ _이런_ _나_ _땜에_ _힘들었니_

 _You sit silently  
_ _아무_ _대답_ _없는_ _너_

 _Why am I a fool, why can't I forget you  
_ _바보처럼_ _왜_ _너를_ _지우지_ _못해_

_You’re already gone_

_넌_ _떠나버렸는데_

Torture. It was plain torment. Like hurling herself back a year and a half ago when her world fell apart. Her heart felt like it was going to break all over again just like the first time and maybe it really is. It was excruciating. She wondered if it was normal for it to be this physically unbearable. Tzuyu couldn’t move. Like she was rooted onto her chair forced to reopen her wounds yet again. It sounded so pure as if she was hearing the song for the first time again. She couldn’t quite grasp how everything seemed to have fallen perfectly into place. It was the perfect shoot. The set, the wardrobe, the song and the idol. This shoot was so vulnerable just like how they planned it to be. Too vulnerable perhaps. Tzuyu didn’t know if she could handle it. She didn’t know if she could handle hearing Jihyo’s voice fill the silence of the studio with so much pain and anguish as she sung. Still, Tzuyu couldn’t help but immerse herself in the song and she couldn’t help but listen intently to each and every word being beautifully sung as if it was sung directly to her.

_Your black eyes that only saw me  
_ _나만을_ _바라보던_ _너의_ _까만_ _눈_

 _Your nose that held the sweetest breath  
_ _향기로운_ _숨을_ _담은_ _너의_ _코_

 _Your lips that whispered  
_ _사랑해_ _사랑해_

_'I love you, I love you'_

_내게_ _속삭이던_ _그_ _입술을_ _난_

Tzuyu closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It’s been more than a year since she heard those words come out from Jihyo’s mouth. _'I love you, I love you'_ It pained her to recall the reason why she hasn’t heard it for so long. It hurt knowing why this song was even written in the first place. So just like the other times she felt her control wavering, Tzuyu chose to grab onto that pain. She chose to let it seep into her skin and pump into her blood like her personal sedative. For so long now that was all she knew how to do. For more than a year, all she knew and all she’s ever known was how to keep hurting. It was like a bad habit. It was hard to break. All she knew was how keep the pain thriving within her to the point where she didn’t know who she was without it anymore.

In her mind, if she held onto that pain and chose to feel it willingly then it meant she was in control right?

She dropped her head and took another deep breath. She needed to ground herself. She wasn’t supposed to be this affected by it. She had a loving girlfriend, a successful company and that was all she needed. Unshed tears filled her orbs as Jihyo’s gentle voice kept on filling the studio. The message of the song wounding her more than when she was listening to it on her phone.

She needed to hold onto that pain and pain alone.

For a moment, she could hear Jihyo’s voice quiver lightly. It was too minor to be noticeable but since the song was engraved into her memory, Tzuyu caught onto it. It was like Jihyo was hesitating. The CEO opened her eyes slowly adjusting to the lights once again and was stunned to see the idol gazing right back at her. The idol’s eyes inquiring and wide. Could she see her through the blinding lights? Maybe Jihyo did. Tzuyu wasn’t quite sure. She saw how Jihyo’s eyes were deep in thought as if she was trying to say something. It was overwhelming but Tzuyu couldn’t look away. She frozen in place.

She noted how Jihyo paused to get ready for the chorus as she listened the piano play through. There was something in Jihyo’s eyes that was all too familiar to her. It took her a moment but Tzuyu knew the idol was wavering. Tzuyu knows that look on Jihyo quite well. It was hesitation. She understood. Jihyo was inquiring her if it was alright to carry on. If it was alright to keep on going knowing how this song was too personal. Too private.

Still, this was a shoot. It must be done. So Tzuyu sat straight and rigid in her seat remembering why she was here in the first place. It was her job to be here. She didn’t know if the idol could see her through the blinding lights that were pointed in her direction but still Tzuyu gave a curt subtle nod. Telling her it was alright. Telling her to continue. Telling Jihyo to go on.

_Go ahead. Go ahead and break my heart again._

So Jihyo kept on singing.

_Your eyes, nose, lips_

_너의_ _눈_ _코_ _입_

 _Your touch that used to touch me  
_ _날_ _만지던_ _네_ _손길_

_To the ends of your fingertips_

_작은_ _손톱까지_ _다_

_I can still feel you_

_여전히_ _널_ _느낄_ _수_ _있지만_ _  
_ _But like a burnt out flame_

 _꺼진_ _불꽃처럼_ _  
_ _Burnt and destroyed all of our love  
_ _타들어가버린_ _우리_ _사랑_ _모두_ _다_

 _It hurts so much, but now_ _  
_ _너무_ _아프지만_ _이젠_ _널_

 _I'll call you a memory_ _  
_ _추억이라_ _부를게_

It was too intense now that Jihyo was singing right at her general direction so when the last note of the piano resonated against the studio walls, Tzuyu heaved a relieved sigh. It was over.

...

She felt so vulnerable. From the plain black set to her white dress. It was so raw and stripped down. She knew the set was a way to match her song but it gave her feel so exposed now that she sang the song in front of all her friends and Tzuyu. Especially Tzuyu. The song ended and the studio was lit up. The staff moved from their places but she remained still. It was like she was in a daze. Did it even matter? Even if she sang with all her heart would it even make a difference? In the midst of her thoughts, Jihyo remembered what Dahyun gently told her a couple of days ago.

_“It’s not enough that you know, Jihyo. Do something.”_

It was the first time Dahyun addressed her without a hint of irritation or disgust. But immediately after that remark, the younger girl went back to her usual disgusted tone. Still, Jihyo didn’t forget it. She replayed it in her head over and over again. Pondering over what it could mean and what could be done. What was she supposed to do? Try and steal Tzuyu away from Lia?

No. She isn’t like that. Now that she was in sound mind and judgement without anyone manipulating her decisions, Jihyo was not one to play dirty. Not when Tzuyu was in the middle of it all with Lia treating the CEO like she was some kind of prize to be won. No. She respected her too much to do that. But she could still try and apologize. That was all that’s left for her to do. Beg. Beg for forgiveness and beg for a new start. 

That was her goal.

Jihyo might not be fortunate enough to gain Tzuyu back as her lover but maybe she could gain her back as a friend. That in itself was a huge feat but she was willing to beg for it no matter how hard or how long it took if it meant keeping the younger girl in her life. She knew what it felt like living without Tzuyu for the past year and Jihyo knew she couldn’t do it. Every single day without Tzuyu filled her with immense torment. She could handle anything but that. Anything but not having to see the younger girl. Even if it meant seeing Tzuyu happy in another woman’s arms. Even if it meant writing all her songs about her to keep the promise she made Tzuyu all those years ago. She would do it. Whatever it takes. 

A pair of arms wrapped around her torso almost flinging her off the stool and Jihyo had to grip onto the figure to make sure they didn’t topple off together. Her face was covered in a mane of blonde hair and she immediately relaxed as she heard Sana’s uncharacteristically gentle voice in her ear.

“You did so well, Jihyo-chan. You held on so well.”

Jihyo was stunned to hear Sana comfort her. Not because she thought the Japanese woman was dense but because she thought her minor slip up earlier wasn’t so noticeable. Maybe for the people who didn’t know her it wasn’t. Jihyo knew she couldn’t hide her emotions well especially when her eyes were too expressive. She let herself be cradled in Sana’s arms as the tension she felt slowly diminish. She didn’t even notice her hands were shaking until Sana pulled back and held onto them rubbing them gently to emit warmth onto her cold hands.

“Jihyo-chan, go get changed into comfy clothes.”

Momo emerged from behind Sana as the other Japanese woman smiled softly at her as well. Momo and Sana flanked both her sides as they walked her to the dressing room where Jeongyeon and Nayeon were already situated in. The four women helped her get dressed while giving her soft soothing praises on how well she did today. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself not to break down completely if she opened her mouth to respond. So instead she just gave them small reassuring smiles. They understood the significance of this present moment. She knew they understood why she felt exposed. After all, they were the first ones to hear ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ even before it was recorded in the studio. They knew the weight the song carried and how much it meant to her.

While she was in the middle of wiping her make up off, Nayeon sat beside her. She didn’t do anything other than place a comforting hand onto her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was moments like this where she was reminded that Nayeon was the eldest out of all of them. She was an Unnie and she knew when her comfort and guidance was needed. Right now more than ever, Jihyo needed an Unnie and she was thankful for the older girl.

“Do you think she liked it?”

Jihyo asked quietly to no one in particular. Her voice quivering and weak. It gave her déjà vu asking it again just like how she asked them over a year ago that early Sunday morning sitting on Sana and Momo’s living room floor. Just like a year ago, Sana and Momo immediately engulfed her in their arms as Nayeon and Jeongyeon stood surrounding them.

That did it for her.

Jihyo didn’t know who she was clutching but she held onto them tight as she felt her body convulse in a silent cry. Tears were streaming down her face, her vision was completely blurred and she couldn’t think clearly anymore. She was about to lose control right in the middle of Chou Inc.’s Studio. Jihyo buried her face into someone’s chest as she felt herself being cradled by four sets of arms. She frantically needed to muffle her cries as to not cause a scene, the desperation made her breath stammer and quicken. A pair of hands were running up and down her back, arms and hair as they all tried to comfort her. Jihyo, in the verge of an intense breakdown, didn’t notice her friends barricading her in their arms as they engulfed her as they all helplessly tried and failed to subside her tears.

So Jihyo allowed herself to lose control. She was safe and she knew her friends wouldn’t let her go as she felt someone nuzzle her temple. So she succumbed to the numbing pain in her chest letting herself be fully submerged in utter anguish. It was like she was experiencing everything from someone else’s eyes. Like she was watching herself. It was strange.

She knew she lost control.

Her body convulsed violently as she cried. She cried for the love she failed to defend. She cried for the pure girl she broke and the beast she helped create out of her. She cried for the relationship she didn’t fight for. She cried for the love she used to have. The love that someone else now owned. It broke her all over again.

She was in excruciating agony. Desperately still trying to muffle her sobs and not make a sound. Crying wasn’t supposed to be silent. It was natural for a person to make echoes of despair when tearing up and it was horribly painful to suppress that considering where she was right now. 

Jihyo didn’t know how long she cried. It could’ve just been a couple of minutes or maybe it stretched to an hour. She wasn’t quite sure. She just felt herself slowly gain consciousness noticing her surroundings little by little. She stretched her fingers that was tightly gripping someone’s sleeves as she gained feeling in her limbs once more. Her breathing gradually went back to normal and her sobs came to a stop. That was when Jihyo felt her friends pull back from the protective barrier they made around her.

While all of this was unfolding, they didn’t notice Mina silently closing the door as she walked away from the dressing room.

...

It was flawless, just like she expected. Tzuyu gave the Director specific directions about what she wanted the final cut to look like but it didn’t take her long since she was satisfied with the raw files already. It took almost about half an hour before all the filming crew went out for lunch and the Director left last leaving Tzuyu standing alone in the middle of the studio waiting for Mina to come back. She was thankful for the couple of minutes of solitude. It gave her time to recollect herself after the intense shoot earlier. The older girl left almost 20 minutes ago to fetch the idol and the others. They couldn’t just leave visitors in the studio alone of course. The blonde Executive walked towards her with a pensive look on her face after a couple of minutes.

“What’s wrong, Unnie?”

The Japanese woman just smiled and shook her head at her before interlacing their fingers together and letting it swing in between them.

“Let’s just give them a couple more minutes, Chewy-yah.”

The CEO just nodded her head and didn’t think much about her Unnie’s reserved look. A couple of minutes later, the five older girls emerged from the dressing room and made their way towards them with Sana skipping her way towards her immediately gluing herself to her unoccupied arm.

“Tzuyu, since it’s a Saturday we were wondering if you and the other girls wanted to spend time with us? It’s nothing much just the usual lounging around and all. I can cook Chinese food if you want.”

Jeongyeon had a hopeful look in her eye. Ever since they patched things up Jeongyeon has been trying really hard to spend time with them or talk to them even on the phone for a little while. She commended the older girl’s efforts. It wasn’t an easy task to rebuild a broken relationship especially when it wasn’t just her. It was also rebuilding her relationship with Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung all at the same time. The same goes for Sana as well. She could see their efforts. Slowly, Tzuyu was letting them climb her walls. The CEO looked down at Mina and saw that her Unnie was already gazing softly up at her in question as well.

“Chae’s meeting probably ended by now and I’m sure Dahyun is in JYP nearby. I did promise Sana-chan that I would show her my new collection of penguin stuffed toys so we can just go to my apartment. What do you think, Chewy-yah?”

Her Unnie asked her softly with hope laced into her voice and if there was anyone in the world Tzuyu couldn’t resist it was definitely her Mina Unnie. So she smiled down at the Japanese woman before giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Okay.”

Her heart warmed at the sight of Mina’s wide gummy smile so she let herself be dragged towards the parking lot with the 5 girls trailing after them while Mina pulled out her phone to call Dahyun and Chaeyoung about their sudden plans. It didn’t matter that Momo and Nayeon were with them. As long as she was with Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung, she knew she was going to be alright. Sana and Jeongyeon were excited when Mina suggested that they hang out in her apartment and they immediately agreed. Tzuyu just watched their interaction as Sana glued herself to Mina’s side. That wasn’t what bothered her though. What bothered her was how palpable the longing radiating out from Momo and Nayeon was as the two girls watched Mina interact with everyone but them. Mina would even address Jihyo for a quick second but of course just like Tzuyu, she would only talk to Jihyo in a professional manner only talking to the idol about the shoot and advertisements.

They met Chaeyoung in the parking lot as the small girl held a cup of coffee in her hand definitely to fight back the Saturday drowsiness. It was a good thing that her Mina Unnie drove to work that day so they had two cars for the 9 of them. Tzuyu’s and Mina’s. The only dilemma was the seating arrangements. Who was going to sit in which car? Her dilemma was answered when Mina decided for all of them.

“Chewy-yah, you take Sana, Jeongyeon and Jihyo. Go pick up Dahyunnie at JYP on the way too. I’ll take the others.” 

Mina was clearly separating her from them to avoid what happened during Sana’s party a couple of weeks ago so Tzuyu could only nod before watching Mina unlock her car and slip inside without even waiting for both Momo and Nayeon. The two girls timidly just slipped inside the back seat of Mina’s car. The CEO heard Chaeyoung scoff at the sight of the two women before turning her head to smile up at Tzuyu as the small girl gave her arm a light squeeze and slipped into Mina’s passenger seat.

The young CEO unlocked her car and opened the back seat and passenger doors before slipping into the driver’s seat. She didn’t wait for them to slip inside as she did so. Tzuyu wasn’t surprised when Sana slipped in the passenger seat beside her since the Japanese girl has ridden in her car before. So Tzuyu immediately drove off towards JYPE to pick up Dahyun on the way. They were in the freeway now and she was conscious not to speed up too much for her Sana Unnie’s sake. She remembered the incident the last time Sana was in her car and she didn’t want a repeat of that. Tzuyu stole a quick glance at the Japanese girl to see if she was comfortable at her current speed and she was met with grateful eyes coming from the girl beside her. Her Sana Unnie was alright so Tzuyu drove comfortably.

It didn’t take long before Tzuyu was parking in front of JYPE and Dahyun immediately climbed in the back seat forcing Jeongyeon in between her and Jihyo. Tzuyu and Mina might be civil towards the idol due to work ethics but Dahyun and Chaeyoung were not. The two other girls didn’t bother hiding their disgust towards the idol. It made her restless being in a small space with Jihyo and Dahyun in the same area as her. The tension was palpable as it radiated out of her best friend. Dahyun was not happy about this seating arrangement and Tzuyu could tell as she stole glances through the rear-view mirror.

Her eyes landed on Jihyo who was trying to curl herself into a ball. It was her first time to see the idol act such a way in a vehicle. She didn’t recall Jihyo having motion sickness before so she was curious as to what was bothering the idol. It took them a couple of minutes to reach her penthouse’s parking lot and as she set her car to park, Tzuyu stole another quick glance at her rear-view mirror. Now, Jihyo had her head leaning on Jeongyeon’s shoulder and Tzuyu could clearly see her puffy eyes poorly concealed by make-up.

Tzuyu abruptly pushed her concern aside. Why would she suddenly care?

So she turned her car off and stepped out finding the small space of the vehicle slightly suffocating. Dahyun took her right arm as Sana glued herself to her left as they all walked inside the skyscraper’s posh lobby. She felt Dahyun grip her arm tighter as they walked further inside before the pale girl pulled her to a stop. It made Sana glance at Dahyun in confusion as well. Tzuyu furrowed her brows and swept her eyes around the large lobby. Her eyes zeroed in on Mina and Chaeyoung’s backs as they were flanked by both Momo and Nayeon. It seemed like they were talking to someone but she couldn’t see who it was because of the couple blocking her view. By the way her Mina Unnie’s shoulders looked tense and how Chaeyoung’s hands were closed into fists, Tzuyu knew it couldn’t be good.

Despite Dahyun’s strong grip on her arm, Tzuyu insisted they walk forward to see who they were talking to so with an irritable Dahyun on her arm they all walked forward to join the other group. Tzuyu felt unnervingly uncomfortable as they neared Mina and the others. They halted a feet away from them and Tzuyu was shocked to see who it was.

It was Lia.


	21. CHAPTER XXI

She wasn’t too thrilled to have Momo and Nayeon sitting in the backseat of her car but if it meant steering them away from Tzuyu then she’d sit through this uncomfortable car ride home. Her girlfriend isn’t faring as well as she was. Mina glanced beside her and saw how Chaeyoung had her arms crossed in front of her and her face morphed into utter repulsion. All she could hope for was a peaceful afternoon showing Sana her penguin collection and eating Jeongyeon’s Chinese food. If it weren’t for Sana and Jeongyeon, she wouldn’t even consider taking them into her apartment knowing she would indirectly invite Nayeon, Momo and Jihyo by default as well.

Finally they arrived at their building and Mina exited her vehicle as she waited for the others to do so as well before locking her car and making her way towards the elevator with Chaeyoung beside her and the other two trailing silently behind. They stepped out into the lobby, Mina’s heels clicked against the ivory floors making a couple of people turn their heads towards her general direction. Mina smiled as she turned her head to see Chaeyoung step closer to her and link their arms together as they walked closer towards the elevators. Suddenly, Chaeyoung gradually slowed her pace and stopped walking. Mina watched in bewilderment as her girlfriend’s jealous face was filled with annoyance in an instant.

“Oh it’s nice to see you Unnies!”

She knew that irritatingly sweet voice anywhere and surely the moment Mina turned her head, Lia was in front of them smiling sweetly and bowing deep to show respect in greeting. It seemed like Lia just stepped out of the elevator and Mina immediately knew that the younger girl just came out of Tzuyu’s penthouse. Mina saw how Nayeon stopped walking and positioned herself beside her as Momo positioned herself beside Chaeyoung, the couple effectively situated in the middle secured by the two older girls who were looking at the young idol with inquisitive scrutiny. The Japanese woman wondered what events might have transpired between Lia and Jihyo inside JYPE behind prying eyes. Surely Jihyo might have shared said events to her friends and if the looks Nayeon and Momo were sending were any clue then it might not have been pleasant.

“Lia-ssi, how odd to see you here alone. Did you just come from Tzuyu’s penthouse? It’s a shame Tzuyu isn’t here to usher you inside.”

After threatening Lia out of Tzuyu’s penthouse a couple of days ago, Mina has decided to let her tongue loose around the idol. Of course, she was still not going to dictate Tzuyu’s decisions or influence her actions. Mina wanted Tzuyu to learn and she wanted her Chewy to pick herself up out of toxic situations. Tzuyu wasn’t a child and as much as Mina wanted to coddle the CEO, she knew that she shouldn’t.

There are things that only Tzuyu can do on her own and this was one of them.

But she will most definitely not give the young idol a chance to sweet talk her way into Mina’s good side anymore. Not after that verbal match they just had. So instead of throwing a rather phony greeting towards Lia, Mina straight out threw pure sarcasm at the younger girl which caught the idol off guard.

See, Mina has figured her out. The idol was only poised in confronting whenever it was a one on one exchange but when there are other people around Lia was just all talk and no bite which gives Mina a large advantage as of the moment knowing four sets of eyes are on the idol.

The Japanese Executive felt Nayeon stand closer to her and Chaeyoung grip her arm tighter. Oddly, even though they were not in good terms with both Nayeon and Momo, Mina felt like the two older women were backing them up and it made her feel secured. So when she saw how Lia tried to keep on smiling her sweet little smile as her lips gave a small unnoticeable twitch of irritation, Mina knew Lia saw how the older women were acting as well. The Japanese woman knew the others didn’t notice Lia’s slight lip twitch but she did and she felt satisfied at how she aggravated the idol. Admittedly, she was quite impressed at how composed Lia was at being caught exiting the building but she wouldn’t tell her that. Mina didn’t bother hiding the smirk that made its way onto her lips.

“Ahh yes, Unnie. I was about to ask her to eat lunch with me but then the door was locked so I figured she wasn’t home. I was about to head out and eat with my members instead.”

What a lie. Mina could see right through that quickly as her eyes roamed down Lia’s torso noticing one of Tzuyu’s favorite hoodies hugging her body. She knew that hoodie wasn’t Lia’s. In fact, that hoodie was a gift from Dahyun and Tzuyu never wears that hoodie outside her penthouse claiming it was ‘too limited edition’ for the world to stain. It was a limited edition IU hoodie from one of her concerts that Dahyun attended with Mina and Chaeyoung while Tzuyu was in Taiwan.

“Is that so? Well, go along then.”

Mina didn’t have time for a verbal confrontation right now especially not when Tzuyu was about to walk in at any moment. Not that she didn’t want the girl to see Lia but she didn’t want to know what happens when Lia sees Jihyo and Tzuyu walk inside together. She’d very much like to avoid drama and have a peaceful afternoon without added tension from the shoot this morning. Mina didn’t like drama and she would prefer not to cause it or try to produce it intentionally. Watching Jihyo collapse in numerous waves of silent sobs earlier was a lot for her to even process.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

“Lia? Did we plan something that I forgot?”

Mina took a deep calming breath before turning around and seeing Tzuyu surprised at the sight in front of her. Not the angry kind but just pure confusion. The CEO walked forward and stood beside Lia who immediately clung onto Tzuyu’s arm and shook her head up at her.

“No you didn’t. Just stopped by to ask if you wanted lunch. I didn’t know you had friends coming over. I’m sorry for barging in unannounced.”

She noticed how Lia’s eyes hardened when she swept her eyes quickly and landed momentarily on the miserable looking Jihyo stuck to Jeongyeon’s side. The way Lia’s eyes overflowed with jealousy made Mina smirk even wider. Maybe it wasn’t too bad for Lia to see Jihyo and Tzuyu together. The best part was no one had to do anything or fake anything to make this happen.

Fate really did have a way of making people cross paths.

So when Lia turned to subtly lock eyes with her, Mina just gave the idol a sweet insulting smile.

...

Tzuyu stared down softly at her girlfriend as she felt Lia run her hand up and down her arm. Tension ran up her spine as she felt everyone staring at them. It made her feel anxious. The air in the lobby thickened considerably. This was a meet up that no one wanted to occur but someway somehow fate decided to let it happen anyway. Fate really did hate her. She was sure of it. Truly she didn’t quite comprehend why she was so tense to see the 8 older girls and Lia together or why she was feeling so anxious right now. It isn’t illegal for her to date Lia but she didn’t know why she felt so guilty as if she was parading their relationship in front of them. Maybe because this was the first time she had a relationship after the whole Jihyo situation or maybe it was because her past and her present girlfriend are in the same space as her and her friends. Either way, it was uncomfortable to say the least.

“Hi Lia-ssi! How are you doing?”

The young CEO whipped her head towards Sana. All of them looked at Sana like she lost her mind as the woman bounded over to Lia and gave her a welcoming embrace. Tzuyu looked around and everyone had the same bewilderment in their eyes except one person. Her Mina Unnie. Her Unnie didn’t look as shocked at this sudden display. Tzuyu furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. It made her even more confused when Lia replied back.

“I’m sorry? I don’t remember meeting you, Unnie. I think you’re mistaken.”

Tzuyu watched the conversation unfold as she tried to make sense of what’s happening and felt Lia’s hand loosen around her arm. She didn’t know that Sana knew Lia. Her Sana Unnie looked so confused as well and her pout made its way onto her lips.

“Eh? We saw each other at Chewy’s penthouse remember? It was the night I slept over at Mina’s. You even opened the door for me.”

Her body froze as her mind filled with numerous questions. What were they talking about? Lia opened the door for Sana? When? Tzuyu was absolutely lost and she was starting to get annoyed. Even the older girls subtly stood a little straighter and watched with guarded eyes. They were in a circle and with Lia being hugged by an overly enthusiastic Sana, the young idol was slightly pulled within that circle. As if Lia was being trapped around the older women. The CEO didn’t know if the girls were doing this on purpose but she didn’t want to think about that right now. There were other pressing matters she had to attend to. Tzuyu could only watch in complete bafflement.

What she didn’t notice was Mina smirking and crossing her arms in front of her in amusement at the current positions they were placed in.

Tzuyu wanted to butt in and ask why Lia was in her penthouse without her knowledge but this wasn’t the venue for that not when there were other people listening. There was no denying the tension heightened greatly by what Sana just uttered out. Tzuyu felt like her heart jumped up her throat rendering her stunned and immobile as her head heated up in anger at this information. Everyone seemed a little bit more tensed as they all waited for Lia’s reply.

It confused her more when instead of answering, Lia looked behind Sana and bowed enthusiastically at Jihyo and the others surrounding her. It was evident to Tzuyu that Lia was purposely avoiding the topic and that didn’t sit well with her. It made her furious.

“Oh hello Jihyo Unnie!”

Sana seemed to have dropped the topic after that and stood beside Mina to pout. Tzuyu watched silently still as Jihyo greeted the idol back with less enthusiasm. The others might not have noticed but Tzuyu knew Lia well and she knew that voice was fake. It seemed forced and fabricated.

Tzuyu knew Lia felt cornered.

Whatever was happening right now still did not make any sense to her. The CEO took a look around again and observed everyone else. Surely she wasn’t the only one bewildered by this.

Chaeyoung seemed to have glued herself to Mina’s side with a disgusted look on her face, maybe because Jihyo was here. Tzuyu wasn’t sure whether Chaeyoung liked Lia or not so she just assumed that the small woman’s disgust was directed towards the older idol. Ever since she told Chaeyoung about her relationship with Lia, the short girl never once said or expressed her opinions about it. Instead it was as if Chaeyoung completely ignored it.

Tzuyu moved her eyes to her Mina Unnie who looked pleased and indifferent at the same time while she consoled Sana who was pouting beside her.

Momo and Nayeon had a defensive look on their faces as they practically shot daggers at Lia’s skull. Tzuyu had to admit that was rather odd as well.

Dahyun, Tzuyu didn’t notice, wiggled her way between her and Chaeyoung and was now looking like she wanted this conversation to be over. Fast. Her Dubu Unnie looked as repulsed as Chaeyoung was and that concerned the young CEO greatly. Tzuyu made a mental note to ask the duo later.

On the other hand, Jeongyeon who was stuck beside Jihyo didn’t look particularly pissed but she looked guarded. Like she was standing beside Jihyo for a reason. It was like she was safeguarding the girl from something.

Tzuyu’s eyes landed on the last person in the circle. Jihyo unlike the others, didn’t look pissed, disgusted nor guarded.

She looked defeated.

The older idol’s eyes were wide and puffy. Tzuyu cocked her head slightly to the side as she gazed at the idol’s swollen eyes. Has she been crying recently? The CEO furrowed her brows in contemplation. Tzuyu didn’t see Jihyo cry in the studio so she was confused at what caused her eyes to be this puffy and swollen. Did something happen in between the advertisement shoot and the time that they drove here? Tzuyu wasn’t sure. The shoot was intense and too personal for obvious reasons but she didn’t see Jihyo shed a tear on set or have a fight with anyone so she wasn’t quite sure why the older idol seemed so shattered and weary.

Her thoughts were cut off when Lia squeezed her forearm and looked up at her.

“I’ll go ahead so you guys can hang out. Can you come with me to get a cab?”

Tzuyu looked into Lia’s eyes and knew the girl was upset. She didn’t know why. Didn’t she have more motives to be dismayed compared to Lia?

The CEO was disappointed as well and she had a lot of questions to ask her girlfriend so she just nodded and let her girlfriend bid farewell to the older girls. Lia slid her hand down and interlaced their fingers as they walked out of the building. It was tight but Tzuyu didn’t mind. She was too busy trying to stitch everything together. She upset the girl and Tzuyu never liked it when Lia was upset. It was like kicking a puppy. On the other hand, she couldn’t help but feel mad at the conclusion she inferred from the earlier conversation.

Apparently, as per Sana’s previous talk, Lia has been entering her penthouse without her permission. It’s not like she would’ve stopped the girl if she asked but doing it behind her back made her feel uncomfortable around the young idol. Trust was a big thing for Tzuyu and the fact that Lia hid that information from her wasn’t something she expected especially when Lia knew why she hated when people lied to her.

So they stood outside for a while, the tension still palpable but less intense now that the older girls weren’t around. The cool breeze gently caressing Tzuyu’s heated face as the sun shone lightly on top of them. A number of cabs have passed by but Lia hasn’t made any move to hail one so Tzuyu turned her head to look down at her rigid girlfriend.

“How do you know Sana Unnie?”

The grip on her hand tightened when she attempted to slip her hand away from Lia. The idol turned her head to look into her eyes.

“It’s true.”

“That you broke into my penthouse without permission?”

It was harshly delivered. Perhaps too harsh. It was silent after that but Tzuyu saw how Lia’s gaze never wavered against her irate eyes. Instead, the idol fully turned her body towards her making Lia look up even more due to their height difference. Tzuyu was clearly frustrated at her and it showed. She didn’t bother hiding it. It showed by how Lia was tightly squeezing her hand but Tzuyu didn’t squeeze back. She wasn’t holding onto the girl’s hand anymore so the only thing keeping their hands intact was Lia’s grip.

“Yes. I snuck into your penthouse using your spare key. The truth is that I was planning on surprising you with a dinner date but I wasn’t aware that you had a scheduled sleep over at Mina Unnie’s. I ended up waiting for you until Sana knocked. I’m sorry for not telling you. I promise to not plan dumb dates in the future.”

Just like what she thought earlier. Being mad at Lia or having Lia mad at her was like kicking a puppy. Lia sounded so hurt and offended both at the same time. Tzuyu knew they were in a bad situation.

This was their first misunderstanding and she wasn’t in the right temper for it especially not when she just came out of an intensely emotional shoot earlier this morning. She didn’t need Lia to add onto that emotional stress and it frustrated her.

Despite that, she instantaneously felt bad that she got furious and jumped to conclusions when her sweet thoughtful girlfriend just wanted to organize a surprise date for her in return. Her emotions were going haywire. Still, the fact that Lia stole her key and slipped into her penthouse without her knowing was not something she could turn a blind eye on. It wasn’t just her trust that was on the line, it was also her privacy. She just wanted Lia to understand that and then they could go back to being a calm and tranquil couple.

“No. I’m sorry as well but you have to understand I didn’t know you wanted to plan a surprise date. I feel deceived and disappointed that you sneaked in without my permission. It just feels like you broke my trust by stealing a spare key that I would’ve given you if you just asked for it. You know what I’ve been through and you know I don’t like it when people go behind my back.”

It was a few seconds of them staring each other with equally firm upset eyes. Lia heaved a sigh as she dropped their conjoined hands and opened her purse calmly. She pulled out the spare key and held onto Tzuyu’s hand to turn her palm upward. Tzuyu furrowed her brows and just watched as Lia put the key onto her hand and closed her palm.

“There’s your key. I know I shouldn’t have done that but I just wanted to do something sweet for my girlfriend. Don’t worry, I’ll never try to do that ever again knowing my efforts won’t be appreciated anyway.”

Tzuyu bit her tongue. She wanted to argue against her and say that it wasn’t an issue about effort but she knew that it would just put fuel onto the fire. Tzuyu didn’t have the strength for that so she just closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. She felt guilt and exasperation seep into her skin and mix with the frustration that she felt as she gripped the spare key. It was normal for a couple to fight, that wasn’t a peculiar thought to her but it wasn’t a good thing to fight due to damaged trust and a stolen key. The said key felt like it was burning her palm as she gripped it tightly feeling its edges dig into her skin. The weight of the piece of metal seemed heavier as the second goes by knowing how much trouble and arguments it caused them.

Tzuyu took a deep breath to calm herself from all the tension this day hurled at her from the Studio to Jihyo’s ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ up to now as she was having her first fight with Lia. It was all too much and the day wasn’t even close to ending. It was just lunch time for god’s sake. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

Her ex sung a song written for her and now her girlfriend apparently stole her key and has been entering her penthouse without consent.

The CEO glanced back at Lia’s now pained wide eyes. Tzuyu has never seen Lia this disappointed and tired. It made her worry. Lia never looked at her that way before. With her mind a little more focused, she began to re-evaluate the situation while observing Lia’s normally sweet gaze now filled with hurt. Tzuyu backtracked and thought that yes, Lia broke into her penthouse but it was for good reason right? She was her girlfriend after all so why would she be so mad with Lia entering her penthouse? Lia was putting so much effort into their relationship.

But did Tzuyu want that?

Did she want Lia to invest in their relationship?

A relationship she wasn’t even invested on herself.

In her mind, she thinks that maybe if Lia kept on devoting to it, maybe Tzuyu would learn how to focus more on the young idol. If she closed her eyes and followed Lia’s example then maybe she’d learn how to love the girl like how Lia loved her. If she closed her eyes and kiss Lia a little longer, hug Lia a little tighter then maybe she’d forget everything else. If she closed her eyes, she’d get used to it. If she closed her eyes and let Lia lead her then everything would be fine. Right? She truly hoped so. She just needed to keep her eyes closed.

The constant dull ache in her chest increased making it excruciating for Tzuyu. She lifted her hand and placed it on top of her heart as she desperately tried to calm it down. Why was she feeling so much pain?

Her frustration now reversed and directed at herself.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Tzuyu stammered out softly. She never liked confrontations and right now she just wanted this tension to dissipate. Lia’s grip loosened against her palm. Quickly, Tzuyu stopped Lia’s hand from leaving her closed palm as she leant down to level her face with the idol’s.

“For what? For bringing your ex here to hang out? Really, Tzuyu? Your ex? I had to catch you before knowing and I bet you wouldn’t even tell me that you were spending the afternoon with your ex who cheated on you and your traitor friends that hid it behind your back. Did you forget?”

Lia stepped closer to her as Tzuyu felt her whole body go rigid. Tzuyu was shock ridden. It was true. She couldn’t deny. Lia was right. Like she always was. How could she be such a hypocrite? Lia almost screeched at her in frustration but she could see her holding her tone back as her girlfriend gritted her teeth instead.

“I don’t want to say this but please let me do it just this once. For someone who holds trust at a high regard, you aren’t good at showing me that I can trust you either, Tzuyu.”

Tzuyu held onto Lia’s hand desperately and opened her palm as gently as possible despite the idol trying to resist. She watched her girlfriend’s features carefully as she placed the key in her hand and closed the idol’s palm.

Lia made a mistake but she couldn’t deny that she made one too.

Suddenly, the stolen key dispute wasn’t her main concern. Tzuyu thought to herself, wasn’t it a little trivial to be infuriated at Lia for entering her apartment when she herself was voluntarily hanging out with her ex-girlfriend behind her current Lia’s back? She felt guilty. Tzuyu didn’t want to give Lia reasons not to trust her or worse, think that she was cheating on her.

Her heart couldn’t deny how she wasn’t hopelessly devoted to Lia but Tzuyu wasn’t a monster. Lia was someone who listened to her history without judgement and took it upon herself to try and put her broken pieces back together despite Tzuyu’s constant refusal. Lia was a great friend and confidant to her and she didn’t want to ruin their friendship. The idol at least deserved to be treated fairly in this relationship even if she can’t give her heart and devotion to the girl.

She owed Lia as much.

“I’m sorry. For being a hypocrite and being insensitive but you can’t expect me not to feel angry at what you did either right?”

She mumbled it out in both exasperation and shame but she didn’t look away from Lia’s wounded eyes. Tzuyu wanted to show her remorse. She wanted the idol to see how sorry she was. At the same time, she wanted Lia to understand that it was still not okay for her to sneak behind her back no matter what the reason. 

“Go have fun with your friends. You hurt me Tzuyu but you know I can’t stay mad at you for long. I promise to come over when I’ve cooled my head off.”

Tzuyu watched as Lia hailed a cab and slipped inside without glancing back at her. Her palms closed up in fists as frustration filled her body. Tzuyu stood in front of the building for a while trying to regain her composure as she sorted out her emotions and thoughts at the same time. She began to recall each and every single thing that has happened this morning. One thing struck her like a cold breeze making her skin prickle and render her body immobile once again. Something she hasn’t come to terms with no matter how many times she compared.

Her fight with Lia didn’t bother or overwhelm her as much as hearing Jihyo sing.

But just like the other times she was about to accept and succumb to that fact, Tzuyu buried it down and kept her eyes closed.

...

It’s been half an hour since they entered her apartment and half an hour since she finished showing Sana her extensive penguin collection. Currently, the girls were _‘helping’_ Jeongyeon cook lunch for all of them while Mina sat on her kitchen island stool as she watched them do so. Unlike her old apartment more than a year ago, this place was far wider and spacious. Space was not an issue so having Jeongyeon and the other girls in her kitchen didn’t make her feel panicked or concerned that they might break something. Her fingers were tapping against the marble counter and her leg was bouncing in anticipation from waiting for Tzuyu to get here. Mina knew the couple was having a tense discussion. For someone who has been in a relationship the longest, she was quite familiar with the tell-tale signs that a couple was in deep predicament.

She couldn’t help but feel satisfied though. Without interfering, Lia’s secret was exposed and it was not because of her. Initially, Mina wanted Tzuyu to find it out on her own accord preferably through Lia’s mouth but fate really has a way of unfolding pathways after all as Sana unexpectedly greeted Lia oblivious to the undisclosed circumstances. Not only that, Lia just saw the nine of them together. Willingly and voluntarily heading in to spend time together. Needless to say, the couple had a lot of things to talk about.

A few moments later the door to her apartment opened as Tzuyu walked inside composed as if there wasn’t any palpable tension earlier. The past year really fortified the girl’s composure and it showed. Mina just sat there calmly as Tzuyu made her way to sit beside her immediately interlacing their fingers. Mina knew what that meant. Her Chewy needed comfort. So she stood up with their hands still clasped tightly together as she addressed the group in general.

“I’ll go make Chewy change out of her work clothes before it gets stained. We’ll be right back and don’t burn my kitchen.”

A series of ‘Yes Ma’am’ were heard as Mina led Tzuyu into the large Master bedroom she shared with Chaeyoung. She let the CEO in first before entering and locking the door behind her. Tzuyu walked over to the bed and sat down before closing her eyes and taking multiple deep breaths. She was trying not to break down.

“Unnie, everything is hurting too much and I don’t understand why.”

Mina’s heart ached for the girl as she stepped closer and settled herself beside her. Tzuyu let her head rest on her shoulder and Mina could feel the younger girl take deep breaths. Her heart was overwhelmed with the familiar worry and concern whenever either Dahyun, Chaeyoung or Tzuyu were in a state of utter helplessness. It broke her heart to watch her Chewy hurt like this knowing full well that her pure heart didn’t deserve to go through so much agony.

“You can’t fix it if you don’t know what exactly is bothering you, Chewy.”

Mina sat patiently as Tzuyu sat herself back up straight now with a pensive disposition. So she just watched as the younger girl closed her hands into fists and her face heat up.

“I was disappointed at Lia for stealing my key. Even though she said it was because she was planning a date. I still didn’t like that she had to go behind my back. I’m disappointed that we didn’t fix it right away and she left saying she’ll come back when she cools off. I’m just annoyed. We didn’t have to fight over a fucking key if she just told me she wanted one. Mostly, I’m disappointed that she had to flip the tables over and get mad at me for hanging out with the other girls.”

Mina waited. She waited for Tzuyu to finish rambling. She has known the younger girl for a very long time and this was one of Tzuyu’s ways of internalizing and re-evaluating significant events.

The CEO needed to say things out loud before she can fully wrap her head around a situation. It wasn’t enough that Tzuyu thinks about it. She had to say it before it properly sinks in. She knew that for a fact so she waited till Tzuyu stopped and went back to taking calming breaths. The younger girl’s face now flushed red in anger.

“Is that all that bothers you?”

She uttered as gently as she could. Mina tried to coax everything out of Tzuyu’s cluttered thoughts. She knew there was still something Tzuyu hasn’t come to terms with among other things. The Japanese woman recalled the day ITZY went into the studio for their solo shoot. She could still remember it clearly as if it was yesterday, the studio immersing them in partial darkness and how helpless Tzuyu looked with eyes were wide in fear. How her mouth desperately tried to stammer out a response from one single question Mina gently inquired in regards to Lia. A vital question that would pull Tzuyu out of this situation she buried herself in if only she said it out loud. She remembered vividly when Tzuyu didn’t reply to her vocally.

Instead, she remembered how her Chewy shook her head in defeat.

_“Do you love her?”_

Tzuyu never answered her with words and Mina knew it was something the CEO didn’t want to admit out loud. Her Chewy had a complex thought process and she adored her for it but it was a double-edged sword. A sword so complex and intricate that no one could yield it but Tzuyu herself. So every so often Mina had to gently guide the girl in the right direction before Tzuyu hurts herself just like what she was doing right now.

But try as she might, Tzuyu will never admit anything out loud until she was ready to face it head on. She just had to respect the younger girl’s pace. So when the young CEO placed her head back onto her shoulder and shook her head softly, Mina knew she was trying to avoid admitting certain things out loud. The Japanese woman wanted to just squeeze it out of the younger girl so she could pull her out of this agony she’s in but she knew that would just make Tzuyu livid and regress. So she didn’t. After all, this was a war Tzuyu had with herself and Mina could only hope her dongsaeng could triumph against it.

Mina gently interlaced their fingers once again and placed their conjoined hands onto her lap just like how she would always do whenever she wanted to comfort the younger girl. She smiled and nuzzled Tzuyu’s temple when she felt her squeeze her hand softly. Out of the blue, Mina whispered the question against Tzuyu’s ear.

“Do you love her?”

She felt Tzuyu’s body go rigid against her. The CEO pulled away and stared at her with shock-ridden eyes and furrowed brows from getting asked the same question twice now.

“Why do you keep asking me that?”

Mina squeezed Tzuyu’s hand when she heard how the young CEO’s tone turned cold. Instead of firing back with the same standoffish tone, Mina just kept her composure and replied gently.

“Why can’t you answer?”

Her heart sunk when Tzuyu pulled her hand away from her grip. It was the first time Tzuyu did that to her and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Mina wasn’t expecting her to react this way. She looked into Tzuyu’s confused orbs and saw how the wheels in her head was turning wildly.

“I already did. What else do you want me to do?”

She felt small. Mina felt so vulnerable now that Tzuyu suddenly stood up and towered against her. She felt her hands turn cold as she stared up at the now exasperated Tzuyu. Mina knew the girl was in denial but she has never seen the girl act this way towards her. It was the side of Tzuyu that she never wanted to witness. Subtly, she took deep calming breaths to regulate her heart beat. She needed to stay firm and gentle. This was her Chewy and Mina knew the younger girl was hurting. As her Unnie, she just wanted the girl to stop lashing out in denial.

Mina stood up and reached a shaking hand out to gently hold onto Tzuyu’s forearm.

“Stop denying so you can stop hurting. Say it out loud.”

Tzuyu took a step back making Mina’s hand fall of her arm. The Japanese woman watched as Tzuyu locked her jaw and her eyes filled with irritation.

“Do you think I’m a child that you need to constantly coddle?”

Mina felt her hands shake. That was the same thing Momo told her the first day they saw each other in the studio. It hurt her more today than it did months ago. Because today, Tzuyu spat it in her face. Was she coddling her too much? Was she interfering too much? Mina felt her chest constrict and her breath quicken. Normally, harsh words don’t bother her in the slightest. But when it was coming from the people who she cared the most, it was almost too unbearable for her to handle. No. She needed to fight through this. This wasn’t an appropriate time to have an anxiety attack. So Mina took a deep breath. Still, with a soft tone she addressed her dongsaeng lovingly.

“Right, you’re not a child. You’re an adult. An adult who should speak her truth.”

Mina said as she stepped closer to the tall girl. She stared into Tzuyu’s raging eyes as she spoke again slowly. Mina needed Tzuyu to hear her next words clearly. She needed the girl to understand.

“I know you’re lashing out because you’re in pain and I understand. I know that your heart needs to hear the words out loud to accept what your mind already knows. So speak your truth.”

Hope sprung back into Mina when she saw how Tzuyu’s eyes soften and her fists slightly uncurl. Mina knew that Tzuyu understood her.

“Why are you making me say it out loud when you clearly know the answer?”

“I just want to help you, Chewy.”

Mina still replied with a gentle voice even though Tzuyu wasn’t talking to her just as calmly. Still, she chose to have faith in Tzuyu. 

“Help me what? Ruin my perfectly peaceful relationship with Lia? Do you not like her that much?”

The older woman’s eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears as the conversation went on. Still, she stood her ground. If her Chewy needed to lash out just to accept the truth she has been denying for so long then Mina would gladly accept her anger. Even if it made her heart ache and her knees weaken. Her Chewy needed her and she’ll always be here. 

“I’m here to help you not ruin yourself.”

With the last bit of energy left in her, Mina stepped closer to the CEO and held onto both her forearms. She felt how the girl was shaking lightly just like Mina was. Her eyes were still filled with intense concern and love towards the girl despite the words harshly spat in her face.

She knew Tzuyu was guilt-ridden when the girl dropped her head and closed her eyes shut tightly.

“I don’t want your help.”

That was a lie. By the way Tzuyu whispered it out hesitantly, the Japanese woman knew it was a lie so she didn’t take it to heart.

Mina ran both of her hands across Tzuyu’s arms lovingly as she tiptoed to place soft kisses on both of the younger girl’s closed eyelids before whispering as gently as possible into her Chewy’s ear. Just like what she told the younger girl sensitively in the darkness of the studio during ITZY’s solo shoot.

“Open your eyes Chewy.”

Instead, Tzuyu stepped back. She stepped back and turned around to exit the room in a haste. When the door clicked closed, Mina wrapped her arms around her quivering torso as she let the tears fall down her face.


	22. CHAPTER XXII

The moment she heard the door click behind her only did she fully realize what she did. She didn’t even have time to process when she finally noticed Chaeyoung standing beside the door along the hallway looking at her with disappointment and pity in her eyes. Her breathing was so loud that it was the only thing she heard. The thumping of her heart made her body feel like it was pulsating along with it. Her hands felt colder as they quivered and her eyes were wide as she stared at Chaeyoung guiltily. The short woman took a deep breath but didn’t come any closer to her.

“I heard everything starting from the ‘ _constantly coddle_ ’ part. Just like Mina Unnie said, I understand that you’re hurt and that’s why you’re lashing out so go cool off before I growl at your face like how you did to my girlfriend.”

Tzuyu wanted to bash her head against the wall but that would just cause even more commotion to the already chaotic day she’s having not to mention it was still lunch time and she feels like the day wasn’t close to being over. It was a good thing the bedroom was far away from the kitchen where everyone was and they were currently in the hallway.

“Chae-“

“Stop. I’m not mad. I just want you to go and cool off before lunch gets ready.”

She couldn’t do anything when Chaeyoung sounded so stern and soft at the same time. Her heart felt like it was sinking further than it already was. Tzuyu pushed herself off from the door as she stood on both her unsteady feet. Her head was downcast as she nodded solemnly and started making her way to pass by Chaeyoung. When she was shoulder to shoulder with Chaeyoung, she stopped in her tracks. What surprised her was another set of feet behind the small girl. Tzuyu didn’t even notice that someone else was here. Noticing her surprise, her best friend turned her head to the side to look at Tzuyu’s side profile.

“I was on my way to usher her to the comfort room.”

Tzuyu gave a curt nod as she stole a quick glance at a shock-ridden Nayeon standing timidly two feet behind Chaeyoung. Nayeon had her hands clasped tightly in front of her as she stood there nervously from having walked into a tense conversation. She couldn’t stay here for any longer, Tzuyu felt her tears threatening to fall at any moment. So she ducked her head back down before Nayeon could notice. Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was still shoulder to shoulder beside her as the small woman still stood rigidly and stared at the opposite direction. She needed to get out of this apartment without dropping a tear. The CEO strode ahead making sure her steps were still calm as to not alert the older girls as she passed the kitchen and successfully made her way out of the front door. Luckily no one seemed to have the guts to ask where she was going or maybe didn’t notice her tear filled eyes. Either way, Tzuyu let out a sigh of relief when she finally made her way into her penthouse a couple of floors above Mina and Chaeyoung’s apartment.

As soon as her door clicked shut, the CEO slid down against it and sat on the floor as she cradled her head in between her shaking palms as she let her tears of frustration pour down her porcelain skin. She might have been there for a couple of minutes or an hour but she didn’t know. She couldn’t tell. All she could feel was how her heart ached in her chest. All she could hear was the thumping of blood that rushed to her ears and her Mina Unnie’s weak but still loving voice telling her over and over again ‘ _Open your eyes Chewy’_.

She needed to numb this pain and silence the noises in her thoughts. She needed a drink. Make that two. As soon as she attempted to stand up, her knees almost gave up from being folded for too long so she leant against the door to keep herself upright. She wasn’t in a safe situation. The chaos in her mind was becoming louder and louder as her heart began beating stronger and stronger. This wasn’t foreign to her if she was being completely honest but each and every time it occurred still felt as agonizing as the others or maybe even worse. Her time of isolation in Taiwan was filled with moments like this.

So she formed her own perfect routine.

It involved with wracking her body with continuous waves of excruciating cries of agony as she let the pain overwhelm her. She didn’t have the energy to fight it. So she never did. Succumbing to the pain was the only way to get past it and when her demons decided she had enough pain for the day, Tzuyu would then proceed to numb herself with alcohol until all she could recognize was the feeling of her chest gently rising and falling with every breath she takes as she let herself be drifted off into unconsciousness as she nestled in bed with her stuffed toy, Minjoong.

That was the only way she knew how and for the past year that was the same routine she followed.

With her back against the door, Tzuyu was brought out of her haze when light knocks reverberated against it. Immediately, she opened the door wide open fully expecting her Mina Unnie to be standing there.

It wasn’t.

Instead, she saw an anxious looking Nayeon with her hands clasped in front of her as the older girl bit her bottom lip nervously. So Tzuyu stood straighter and calmed her features as she looked at Nayeon with irate eyes wishing for the older woman to just walk away. That seemed to have made Nayeon much more nervous as Tzuyu watched her shuffle from foot to foot.

“What are you doing here?”

Her voice was gruff and deeper from all the tense conversations she’s had and from sobbing not just 5 minutes ago. It still emitted the desired reaction she wanted when she saw how Nayeon flinched ever so slightly.

“D-Dahyun wanted to send someone to tell you lunch will be ready in an hour or so. Sana kind of burnt the first one. C-Chaeyoung went in the room to tend to Mina so she wasn’t available.”

“And you didn’t think to tell them to just call me or send a text? What are you? A raven sent to deliver news?”

Her patience at this point was non-existent. From Jihyo singing to fighting with Lia and a tense conversation with her Mina Unnie, Tzuyu was awfully drained. Nayeon, unfortunately, was the target of all her frustrations as of the moment. Like her personal punching bag. Her words were unfiltered as she growled at Nayeon making the older woman wince again.

She couldn’t deal with Nayeon right now. Not when she was on the verge of breaking down. Not when Nayeon looked at her like that. Like an Unnie. With so much concern. The concern she looked and longed for when she was alone in Taiwan letting herself be drifted away by endless warm bodies on her bed and the burn of alcohol down her throat. She was supposed to be Yoda’s Bunny Unnie. Now, Nayeon stood in front of her and all she could see was the woman that left her in the dark a year ago. The pain in her heart heightened at the sight but she was not Nayeon’s Yoda anymore.

She was late.

More than a year late.

She was Chou Tzuyu. Influential. Affluent.

“N-no, I’m sorry. I-I volunteered to go here. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

It took all of her strength not to scream in Nayeon’s already petrified face. So in an effort to not strain her voice even further, Tzuyu gripped the edge of the door as she closed her other hand into a fist.

“After more than a year. After more than a year you suddenly decide to ‘make sure’ I was okay? Too late for that don’t you think?”

Tzuyu observed as Nayeon stood a little bit straighter. Determination filling her wide eyes as she unclasped her hands in front of her as the older woman gazed up at her.

“I’m sorry. I promise you don’t need to talk to me or you can pretend that I’m not here. Please let me be with you until we have to go back down.”

Tzuyu was tired. Too tired. She was barely holding herself together as it is. So maybe having Nayeon in her territory as she collects herself while making the older girl shake in anxiety just by being in her presence was a win-win for her. Tzuyu glowered at her even more as she stepped aside to give the older girl some space to step inside.

“T-thank you”

Nayeon ducked her head as she slowly stepped inside Tzuyu’s large posh penthouse that occupied the whole top floor of this residential skyscraper. Tzuyu immediately locked the door as she watched Nayeon’s wide eyes roam around her living room and attached kitchen. Tzuyu let her be and walked straight to her kitchen to pour herself a glass of much needed whiskey. She knew Nayeon was looking at her but she paid it no mind as she gulped a generous amount of burning liquid down her throat. It gave her some sort of relief. The CEO held onto her glass as she made her way towards the couch and making herself comfortable. Having Nayeon in the room was somewhat helpful as she felt her control slowly comeback as she refused to appear defenseless and vulnerable in front of the older woman.

“Sit down. You look stupid just standing there.”

Nayeon nodded, keeping her word that she won’t speak unless Tzuyu wants her to. She sat a couple of feet away from Tzuyu’s position as they sat at opposite ends of her long couch. She had a couple of gulps from her whiskey and Nayeon kept her eyes onto her.

“I drink. If you can’t deal with it just get out.”

Having alcohol in her system made her much calmer than earlier so she spoke a little lower but still as gruff. Tzuyu looked around for something that always gave her peace whenever she had a breakdown. The last important part of her meltdown routine.

Minjoong.

Her trusty dog stuffed toy that has been with her since she was a lost freshman in college. She would never bring it out to public now but she’s always treasured it in private. It might look stupid for a powerful CEO to drag around a fluffy stuffed toy so Tzuyu made sure Minjoong was always safe at home. As she recalled, the last time she cuddled with Minjoong was last night as she watched television in the living room and now her trusty side-kick was nowhere to be seen. As ridiculous as it might seem but she needed Minjoong to fully calm herself down.

She was about to turn the living room upside down until she saw how Nayeon’s hand was petting something beside her. Something that has been sitting between the older girl and the end of the couch. Minjoong.

...

Concern bubbled up in her chest. Watching Tzuyu gulp down half a glass of whiskey was not a sight she ever thought she would witness. Nayeon bit her tongue. It was a miracle that Tzuyu even let her inside and she didn’t want to be kicked out by saying anything. Not now. Not when she knew how the young woman was in such a fragile state. She wasn’t blind. She knew Tzuyu has been having a rough morning.

Nayeon might now know everything that the CEO’s been going through but she was sure of a couple of things. The shoot earlier wasn’t easy for Tzuyu to sit through. Regardless if the CEO knew that the song was written for her or not, Nayeon knew it affected her more than she let on. The situation with Lia earlier was suffocating and she was just a mere bystander. She couldn’t imagine how tense it was for Tzuyu. Last of all, overhearing Tzuyu’s conversation with Mina earlier was like the last push for Tzuyu fall of the edge. She saw how her eyes welled up in tears in the hallway and Nayeon had to stop herself from engulfing the girl in a comforting embrace.

Despite everything that’s happened this morning, Nayeon was swelling with pride as she watched Tzuyu handle everything with poise.

She wanted to do so much for her. Things she wasn’t allowed to do. She wanted to wrap the younger woman in her arms and tell her everything was going to be alright but she couldn’t. She didn’t have the right to do so. But she could stay by her side. Even if it was just for now. She’ll take it.

Till now Tzuyu radiated an intimidating and unapproachable aura around her but Nayeon will take anything if it meant she could stay by her side for a little while. She was both petrified and elated to be in the same space as her.

Nayeon took another look around Tzuyu’s large penthouse. It was so posh. Like every single furniture was more expensive than her whole month’s rent. It probably was. Still, something felt off. The penthouse, even though filled with top of the line furniture felt empty. The whole place was overcast with an air of dread and her heart constricted for the nth time that day thinking of Tzuyu coming home to an empty home all this time. 

She leant back against the couch but something was poking against her lower back. Nayeon pulled the plush object out and put it beside her. It was Minjoong. She looked down lovingly at the plush toy as she pet it like it was a real dog. Seeing Minjoong gave her comfort like it did back when she was younger. She smiled having a little bit of hope that her baby Yoda was still under all that terrifying temper. 

“Give him to me. Now.”

Her hand shot up to her chest as she flinched again. With quivering hands, Nayeon lifted Minjoong and placed him in between them. Tzuyu immediately placed him on her lap as she gulped down her whole glass of whiskey.

“I’ve never forgotten what Minjoong taught me all those years ago.”

Seeing Tzuyu cuddle up with the toy made her heart flutter. This was her baby Yoda. The girl she adored and the girl she ruined. Nayeon gazed at her lovingly as her heart longed to move a little closer. Just like she did before. Maybe she stared a little too much as Tzuyu stared back at her with her piercing eyes. It made her drop her eyes to just stare at Minjoong instead. Tzuyu wasn’t the only person who has cuddled with Minjoong for comfort.

_She spent hours pretending to smile. Hours spent forcing herself to act jovial around everyone saying her mother would pick her up from campus to take her home for a weekend long celebration. Rejecting everyone’s offer to hang out for the evening. They let her go ahead anyway knowing how much she’s been anticipating the weekend with her loving family. She walked alone to the store, picking up some seaweed and beef with her head downcast letting the chatters of people passing by on the streets fade into the background._

_It’s quiet._

_She’s never liked the quiet before._

_She entered her small run down dorm room depositing her shoes by the door. She didn’t bother turning the lights on for now. The sunset from the window giving the small space a solemn glow. So she put the ingredients in the small fridge as she knelt down against her bed._

_Nayeon prayed._

_She never used to do that before._

_Even when she was raised in a Christian household._

_Her mother didn’t pick her up. Not that she really expected her to do so. She was too far away from their hometown. ‘You can celebrate with your friends instead’ her mother said. Still, she lied to her friends. She always told them her family adored her. She always bragged about being their perfect princess._

_It was a Friday. A day before her precious birthday. But here she was hiding in her small dorm room isolating herself from everyone. Contrary to popular belief, Nayeon wasn’t the princess she claimed to be. Being the eldest child, she was always pressured to be the absolute best. In her parents’ eyes, she could always do better. Always achieve something higher. Be a little more flawless. A little more perfect. That’s what they always said._

_Affection wasn’t something she grew up with. Not something that was freely given to her like any other child. Maybe that’s why she was always clinging onto her friends like there was no tomorrow. Always fishing for compliments or just complimenting herself when none was given to her._

_It was compensation._

_Compensation for the love she didn’t get._

_For the affection she was never given._

_Some may say she was narcissistic but she wasn’t. It was the complete opposite. But she wouldn’t tell anyone that. She can’t. In the public’s eyes, the Im household was the perfect humble household. So she’ll stay in her room for the rest of the weekend and keep pretending. Keep pretending that her parents celebrated with their precious daughter for the whole weekend like the ‘perfect’ family that they are. Keep smiling like the jolly happy go lucky girl she claimed to be. It seems like that was the only thing she could do. Pretend._

_Her knees were on the floor. Her hands clasped together as she pressed it on her forehead. Im Nayeon was quiet. A rare sight to see in public but a common occurrence in behind closed doors._

_It was getting dark. The streets outside has fallen silent. The dormitory compound was getting quiet as well. She guesses it’s because no one really spends Friday evening cooped up in their rooms. They were college kids after all. Everyone had some sort of plans to go out. Or go home for the weekend. Except for her she supposes._

_So Nayeon stood up and dusted her knees. She was surprised to see how dark it has gotten. She stretched and sighed to herself as she gazed out from her small window. The moon’s out. It twinkled in the night sky a little brighter than usual. It was a quiet solemn evening. Maybe it was best for her to stay here for her birthday. No shouting. No comparisons. No glares._

_It’s quiet._

_She’s never liked the quiet before._

_She should at least cook herself some seaweed soup to celebrate. Nayeon pays her own rent and her own bills so she didn’t want to spend more than she should. Her parents taught her not to spend too much money on herself. Maybe they were right._

_In the darkness, she navigated her way towards the door where the light switch was located. Her hands were gliding on the wall to find it and as she was about to flip it, her doorknob rattled. It filled the quiet with sudden noise and her heart sped fast._

_Immediately, she covered her mouth with her palm as she pressed herself against the wall in case someone really peaked inside to take a look. She cursed herself and thought about which one of her friends would sneak into her dorm on a Friday evening. There were only two people who had a spare key. Namely, Jihyo and Jeongyeon. Did they leave something here and came to get it? Nayeon wasn’t so sure. Neither of the two knew about her home life and she didn’t plan on telling them so Nayeon stayed still and hoped they’d just immediately leave._

_To them. Im Nayeon had a perfect life. A supporting family. Loving parents. To them she had everything._

_Maybe hiding behind the door wasn’t a good idea. So she dropped to her knees and crawled her way as silently as she could towards her single bed to hide herself under it. It was ridiculous. Even so, no one knew she was here and no one needed to know._

_No one needed to know that Im Nayeon was the black sheep of her family._

_Her parents wouldn’t like that either. They always portrayed themselves to be picture-perfect. A picture perfect couple having picture perfect children. She heard the door creak open and click closed. Did they leave? It was probably Jihyo. If it was Jeongyeon, Nayeon was sure the girl would’ve raided her fridge before leaving. She heaved a sigh of relief and wiggled her way out from under her bed. She laid on the floor staring at her ceiling as best as she could considering the room was still engulfed in darkness. The silence of the empty dormitory building consoling her as she listened to the thumping of her heart. It was calming to her. Unusually so. She never thought the quiet could comfort her the way it did. She welcomed it anyway._

_That was until the room lit up and she immediately covered her eyes in shock from suddenly staring up at the light bulb._

_“Gotcha.”_

_Nayeon froze. She knew that voice anywhere. Although it didn’t have the usual sarcastic undertone it had whenever they were jabbing each other with remarks. It was gentle. Almost loving. Any other day Nayeon would be jumping with joy at this sudden show of affection but again._

_Today was not that day._

_Out of all the people who could’ve walked into her dorm. It just had to be the Taiwanese girl. So she sat up and turned towards the person. Tzuyu wasn’t even paying attention to her anymore. Typical baby Yoda. The tall woman was busy rummaging her fridge and pulling out the seaweed and beef she purchased earlier. The tall girl was wearing a gray sweater and blue light washed jeans with her pristinely white sneakers._

_Nayeon sat rigid on the floor. How can she lie her way out of this now? She needed to do something. So she squared her shoulders and acted like the jovial Nayeon that everyone was familiar with. She smiled her usual smile as her two front teeth made her look like a silly bunny on the floor._

_“What are you doing here, Yoda?”_

_She winced when her voice came out deep and scratched and not the usual chirpy high tone she exuded. She shut her eyes closed and evened out her breathing fully expecting the younger girl to be bombarding her with questions as to why she wasn’t currently on her way to her hometown like she claimed to be doing. Tzuyu didn’t even turn to look at her. Instead, she turned the stove on and began cooking up what Nayeon could only assume was seaweed soup. Of course it was. That was a staple whenever someone was celebrating their birthday here in Korea. She was quite surprised the Taiwanese girl knew that._

_Although, technically her birthday was tomorrow._

_“I was in the store earlier to get some instant coffee when I saw a familiar Bunny Unnie walking around buying seaweed and beef. She looked so sad. I’ve never seen her that sad before.”_

_Nayeon felt her stomach drop. How could she not notice a giant Yoda in the store? Her forced wide grin twitched ever so slightly as she felt her eyes brim with unshed tears. This was her senior year and she only needed to endure a couple more months of pretending. She couldn’t believe she was getting caught in her final year of college. Suddenly, she wished she just went home on her own even though that might’ve cost her a lot of money. She can endure being ignored on her birthday at home. That was not new. Not for her._

_Having Tzuyu cook her seaweed soup when her face was puffy and red was something new._

_“It’s her birthday tomorrow and no one should be sad the day before, after and during their birthday.”_

_It was soothing. The way Tzuyu talked to her. It was like the younger girl knew there was something wrong. Maybe Nayeon wasn’t as good as pretending like she thought she was._

_Nayeon stood up on shaky legs as she made her way towards the tall girl and stood behind her as she watched her cook. She bit her lip and fiddled with her fingers. Something she did whenever she was extremely anxious._

_“Tzuyu-yah, I’m not sad.”_

_Tzuyu turned the heat low to let the soup simmer for a while. Slowly, she turned around and dropped her gaze towards Nayeon. It was quite new for them to have a conversation that didn’t involve savage remarks. Their exchange was hushed. Soft. Quiet. As if they were sharing a secret between the two of them._

_“I promise I won’t force you to tell me anything you don’t want to share but please let me be with you until your birthday is over.”_

_She felt her hands shaking. Her lip was hurting from how hard she was biting it. Her head was pounding and her body was thrumming nervously. She couldn’t let Tzuyu see her like this. Like the dejected daughter she really was. She wasn’t proud of this. She wasn’t proud of her home situation._

_Still, Tzuyu looked at her with so much adoration. She looked at her like how she wanted her family to look at her. She looked up at the younger girl and her eyes softened as her shoulders loosen faintly. Gently, she felt Tzuyu separate her fiddling hands and clasp it softly with her own. A warmth crept into her chest. Something she wasn’t quite familiar with._

_Nayeon felt cared for. She felt loved._

_Tzuyu smiled down at her affectionately and Nayeon couldn’t help but smile back. It seemed like the younger girl took that as a yes and turned around to turn the stove off as she took Nayeon’s hand again to drag her towards her small worn out couch. That was the first thing she brought with her pay check._

_“Did you bring spare clothes or anything for the weekend?”_

_She whispered it out shakily as she watched Tzuyu turn her small television on. Another thing she brought with her own money. The younger girl shook her head as she placed the remote back down on the couch before leaning over the edge of the couch and rummaging through her large backpack._

_“No but I brought something else. Well to be honest I brought him to school with me but I’m glad that I did.”_

_Tzuyu grinned and pulled out a fluffy dog stuffed toy that Nayeon has seen multiple times in the younger girl’s apartment. She wasn’t allowed to cuddle with it before. No one was. Well aside from Jihyo since she was Tzuyu’s girlfriend but that was a given. It was quite ridiculous but seeing how Tzuyu’s eyes lit up and her dimple pop out. Nayeon thought that it was rather charming. So she let her be. It made her feel surprisingly giddy when the girl placed Minjoong on her lap._

_“Minjoong’s here to celebrate with us.”_

_Tzuyu looked in her eyes and she was taken aback. It wasn’t the usual mischievous glint that she always saw the younger girl with. It was soft. Not a single hint of playfulness or mischief. None of that. Instead, Tzuyu looked at her like she was cherished. She’s never been looked at like that before._

_“You know, the first week in Korea was hard for me. I didn’t have friends. I had no one to talk to maybe because my Korean wasn’t that good. Then I saw Minjoong in a store and decided to take him home. He’s been with me through everything.”_

_Nayeon watched as Tzuyu gently picked Nayeon’s hand up and place it on top of Minjoong’s head._

_“When I’m sad I pet Minjoong like this and after a while I’ll feel a lot better. It always worked for me so maybe he could help you too. So you won’t be sad anymore. I don’t like seeing you sad. Neither does Minjoong.”_

_Their knees were brushing together from how small her couch was. Tzuyu spoke to her softly while they pet Minjoong on her lap. Nayeon felt the unfamiliar warmth creep up into her chest again as she stared lovingly at the stuffed toy._

_The room didn’t seem suffocating anymore. With Tzuyu by her side and Minjoong placed safely on her lap, she felt happy. Her heart swelled for the silly girl beside her. Her silly baby Yoda. She couldn’t deny how charming everything was. So she tore her eyes away from Minjoong to stare at Tzuyu who was already staring at her all this time. It amazed her how Tzuyu managed to make her smile multiple times already and she hasn’t even been here for an hour. Tzuyu broke their gazes off and stared at the television instead while Nayeon didn’t bother taking her eyes away from her adorable dongsaeng._

_The evening was spent with them lounging around the room together with Nayeon cuddling Minjoong the whole time. She refused to let him go even when they ordered take out and ate on the floor. The younger girl didn’t even let her sleep claiming that they needed to wait till after midnight so they can celebrate her birthday properly. Even when Nayeon was yawning non-stop and was leaning on Tzuyu too much, the younger girl didn’t seem to mind._

_A couple of minutes before midnight, she felt her eyelids become too heavy to open. Nayeon felt warm from cuddling up to Tzuyu’s side and leaning her head onto the girl’s shoulder. She discovered that Tzuyu’s lavender scent calmed her greatly and she decided that Tzuyu’s scent was her new favorite scent._

_The lights were turned off but they made sure to turn her night lamp on. Engulfing the room in a warm comfortable glow. She was submerged in a tranquil disposition. The dormitory compound was emptied out and it seemed like no one was home aside from the two of them._

_It was quiet._

_She never like the quiet before._

_Maybe birthdays weren’t too bad after all. Not when she had someone to celebrate it with. Someone who genuinely wanted to celebrate with her. For the first time, Nayeon loved her birthday. She was with Tzuyu and Minjoong. She smiled at how the girl carefully lowered herself further into the couch to make sure Nayeon was comfortable. Nayeon smiled softly as she felt the tall girl rest her head on top of hers. Slowly, Nayeon opened her eyes and saw the younger girl scrolling through her phone._

_She wondered if this was what home felt like._

_With her guard down and her mask off._

_With Tzuyu and Minjoong she didn’t need to pretend._

_The clock struck midnight and Tzuyu turned her head to lock eyes with Nayeon’s sleepy orbs._

_“Happy Birthday, Nayeon Unnie.”_

_She smiled groggily at her dongsaeng not having much energy left to reply in words so instead she cuddled up closer to Tzuyu’s side as she felt the younger girl place a loving kiss onto her forehead as she softly whispered against her temple. “Make a wish.”_

_Nayeon prayed._

_She never used to do that before._

_She prayed and thanked the heavens for the girl sat beside her. Nayeon felt Tzuyu shift and maneuver herself so that Nayeon was wrapped in a warm embrace and placed softly onto Tzuyu’s chest as the taller girl leaned against the edge of the couch bringing Nayeon along with her. Tzuyu, being a lot taller, was the perfect body pillow for Nayeon and she sighed in comfort feeling the younger girl’s chest rise and fall with every breath._

_It was a couple of minutes past midnight now. Her eyelids were getting heavier by the minute and feeling the warmth from Tzuyu did not help her stay awake. She wanted to savour the moment. She wanted to engrave every single detail of this evening to her memory because for the first time Nayeon felt at home._

_She felt how Tzuyu gently ran her hand up and down her back and just when she was about to let herself fall asleep on Tzuyu’s chest, the younger girl pressed another soft kiss onto her temple and whispered to her._

_“You don’t need to pretend with me.”_

_Nayeon smiled against the girl’s gray sweater. With Tzuyu and Minjoong, Nayeon knew she was home._

“Humour me. What did my stuffed toy teach you?”

She smiled sadly down at Minjoong. Although, Nayeon was shocked at how low Tzuyu’s voice has gotten. Taking one look at the younger woman’s now empty glass, it made more sense. Her heart went out for the woman.

“That it’s okay to not be perfect all the time. Forcing things around you to be perfect won’t happen unless it’s meant to be that way. In the end, what’s meant to happen will always find its way.”

Tzuyu scoffed at her. Nayeon lifted her eyes to look at Tzuyu and her heart constricted at the sight of Tzuyu’s eyes downcast. The CEO was staring sadly at Minjoong. She looked so pensive. Nayeon knew this look. She knew Tzuyu was having trouble with her thoughts. She’s seen it multiple times when they were younger but unlike before, Tzuyu was bombarded with much more troubling things. 

“Tell me, Im Nayeon. If perfection isn’t what I should strive for then what is?”

“Progress.”

Tzuyu turned her head to look at her. The CEO looked confused not quite catching on. So Nayeon smiled at her softly and continued.

“There’s no such thing as perfection. Nothing will continuously make you happy. Everything has its ups and downs. Everything has the potential to hurt and break you. That’s because this world forces you to progress. Without that pain, without discomfort and without suffering you will remain stagnant. No progress. No change. No growth.”

Nayeon took a deep breath and sat up straighter as she felt her hands quiver on her lap from how intense Tzuyu was looking at her.

“So when you come across something agonizing don’t try to push it aside. Remember all of it until you overcome it because if you don’t overcome it you’ll always be someone whose heart never grows and no one grows when they stay in their comfort zones. So strive for progress not perfection.”

For the first time since she saw Tzuyu, the woman smiled genuinely. Although it wasn’t directed at her. Tzuyu was smiling softly down at Minjoong.

“Look at you, sounding so mature. Where was all this wisdom when I needed it most, Im Nayeon?”

Tzuyu’s voice sounded so hushed. More than that, it sounded so wounded. It was quiet in the penthouse. So Tzuyu’s voice filled the room with a sudden sensation of grief. Still, Nayeon made sure to look into Tzuyu’s hurt eyes. She might not have been able to touch the woman but she could hope that somewhere buried deep down that rough facade, her Yoda was listening.

“Forgive me for not being the Unnie you needed back then. Don’t worry though, the pain of hurting you made me into an Unnie that will take better care of you now but until the day that you can let me back into your life. I’ll just be here. But I think there’s another Unnie whose wisdom you should listen to other than me.”

Tzuyu’s eyes looked suddenly determined and remorseful all at the same time. Nayeon sat still as she watched Tzuyu place Minjoong down delicately between them and stand up to straighten up her clothes.

“Right. Come now, I need to talk to my Mina Unnie.”

She smiled up at the younger woman as she nodded in acceptance. Nayeon stood up and took one last glance at Minjoong before following Tzuyu out of the penthouse and into the elevator. She smiled to herself. Being in a small space with Tzuyu meant she could smell the familiar calming scent of lavender from the younger woman. It always calmed her.

“Last thing, Im Nayeon. You might be the Unnie that your Yoda needed back then but the Yoda that once needed you is gone.”


	23. CHAPTER XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last line inspired by Bingbong from Inside Out.

“Chewy-yah! Sit down before the food gets cold!”

She was pleasantly surprised by the scent that wafted the moment she opened the door and unexpectedly it didn’t smell like burnt food. They arrived right in time because the older girls were setting the table and were about to sit down. A vacant seat was in between Momo and Jeongyeon which Tzuyu assumed was for Nayeon. She moved her eyes and saw that on Mina’s right side was an unoccupied seat and another vacant one right next to it. It was like getting hurled back into her awkward college days when she was naïve and shy mentally deciding if she should sit next to a person or not out of embarrassment.

Luckily she immediately made up her mind the moment Sana made a move to pull out the chair beside Mina. Tzuyu strode forward and wiggled her way into the seat the moment Sana pulled it out for herself. She smiled cheekily up at her Sana Unnie as the woman whined and sat on Tzuyu’s left side instead while Mina was sat on her right.

Her Mina Unnie didn’t stiffen at their close proximity. Instead, it seemed like the older woman shrunk in her seat.

Tzuyu felt her heart drop again. Having her Unnie mad at her was somewhat better than having her feeling small. A mad penguin was approximately better than a weary one and Tzuyu knew every single person at that table held that for a fact. Seeing her Mina Unnie shrink in her seat beside her made Tzuyu feel even worse than she already is.

Jeongyeon started passing food around as everybody else helped themselves. Surprisingly, the food was pleasant. She shouldn’t have been that surprised though, Jeongyeon had a family restaurant and her father was a chef. It made sense for the food to be good so even though her appetite was gone Tzuyu made sure to nibble on a single steamed spring roll.

The table was filled with calm chatter as they shared a meal together in peace with a couple of playful jabs from the older girls. Halfway through their meal and Tzuyu was halfway through her single spring roll. Try as she might but her appetite really wasn’t kicking in from everything that transpired in the span of one morning. She could sense Dahyun and Chaeyoung eyeing her wearily from across the table but she would just lift her head and smile at them before going back to nibble on her spring roll. Dahyun was sat right across from her as Chaeyoung sat right beside the pale girl.

Just when she was about to give up on the damned spring roll, a pair of chopsticks made its way into her line of sight and placed a heap of ssamgyupsal onto her plate. 

“Eat properly.”

Her eyes widened and she turned her head to the side to see Mina looking at her softly. Her Mina Unnie was truly too pure for this world. Even after everything she’s done, Mina still put Tzuyu’s needs and well-being first. Tzuyu felt her heart swell for the older girl, her hand desperately wanted to interlace itself with her Mina Unnie’s like she would always do whenever she needed the Japanese woman’s comfort but she was too guilt-ridden to do so. She didn’t deserve Mina but she’d try her best to be worthy. Worthy of Mina. Worthy of Dahyun. Worthy of Chaeyoung. They were her rock and Tzuyu would always have a special place for them in her heart.

She didn’t know how long she’s been staring at her Unnie but maybe it’s been a while since Mina was now facing her own plate and humming once in a while as she ate the food Jeongyeon cooked for them. She has been told back when they were still in college that she does have a staring problem and maybe she hasn’t grown out of it. So before someone calls her out for being creepy she faced her own plate and began eating the food her Unnie gave her.

The afternoon was mercifully calmer than her morning. They hung out and lounged around the living room with a random variety show playing on the television. It was a Saturday after all and they deserved down time before being hurled back into the week long grind. Tzuyu just sat back into the couch all afternoon watching Dahyun and the others argue over whether the Eagle dance was better than the Taxi dance. She didn’t really know what that meant but she laughed along the moment her Dubu Unnie stood up and danced in the middle of the living room while Chaeyoung had her phone up recording everything for future blackmail purposes.

She could say it was a good 3 hours before the older girls decided to go ahead. They ate lunch at around 1pm due to Sana burning the food on their first try so it was around 4pm when the others left. As per usual, Sana being the affectionate person that she was started giving Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu tight hugs before stepping out and waiting for the others. Jeongyeon did the same and followed suit with Momo just bowing to all of them as she as well before she stepped outside. Nayeon followed Momo’s lead but lingered her soft gaze at Tzuyu before stepping out. None of them bid farewell to either Nayeon or Momo. They just watched them with guarded eyes. Just like they should.

Jihyo was the last one to go and all of them gave the idol a slight nod while Jihyo bowed deeply in respect.

“Thank you for letting us spend time with all of you and for taking care of me during all the shoots.”

Tzuyu could see Mina’s nod of acceptance at the idol’s gratitude. After all, the shoot earlier this morning was Jihyo’s last shoot for the campaign. She only needed to attend a couple of public events and that would be it. Turning her gaze back to Jihyo, Tzuyu could no longer see the redness in her eyes that was evident earlier this morning. She didn’t bother asking the cause of it. It was none of her business after all. So the CEO gave Jihyo a smile of gratitude before repeating what she would always tell her every time a shoot would end.

“You did well, Miss Park.”

Tzuyu could still hear Jihyo’s voice singing ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’ to her from earlier’s shoot and she couldn’t help but feel her heart’s erratic beating again when the idol bowed deeply again now only at Tzuyu’s direction. Jihyo smiled softly at her and Tzuyu couldn’t help but notice how the idol’s eyes lit up.

“Thank you, Daepyo-nim. We’ll go ahead now.”

They didn’t have much of a trouble dealing with her anymore since they’ve all worked with her during the mobile shoot. For Dahyun, she’s been working closely with the idol for her comeback album at JYPE. They were comfortable enough to be civil with the idol and with everything that’s been happening it was a breath of fresh air to not have added problems to their current pile. The moment the door clicked shut, DubChaeng turned towards Tzuyu as the CEO watched her Mina Unnie retreat into her bedroom down the hallway.

“Chewy-yah, were going to head up to your place while we wait. Head up when you two are done so we can eat dinner together.”

Dahyun had a playful tone as she addressed her and Tzuyu felt anxiety fill her body again. Dahyun’s eyes were playful but she knew the older girl was concerned. She didn’t bother commenting on the fact that Dahyun was thinking about food when they just finished eating lunch 3 hours ago. Instead, Tzuyu moved her eyes to look at Chaeyoung. The smaller woman looked at her wearily.

“Chae. Im really sorry.”

Her heart pounded against her chest. Her friendship with Chaeyoung has never been tested by fights or misunderstandings and this was as close to it as it got. Tzuyu was nervous standing there knowing she hurt Chaeyoung’s girlfriend. Much to her surprise, the smaller woman sighed and stepped forward to push her shoulder lightly almost playfully even.

“I told you earlier I understood why you did that but that doesn’t mean that I liked it. You know how Mina Unnie is especially when it comes to us. Don’t tell her I told you but she sort of had a little anxiety attack the moment you left. She’s not mad. She’s hurt and she thinks you’re mad at her.”

Chaeyoung didn’t address her with the same playful tone as Dahyun’s. It was a much more calmer approach but stern as well. She felt relieved though knowing the smaller woman was not mad at her. Tzuyu lifted her eyes from staring at the ground and saw that Chaeyoung was smiling softly at her.

“I’m not mad either if that’s what you’re wondering. Now go and make up with Mina.” 

Tzuyu took a deep breath before returning Chaeyoung’s smile with one of her own as she nodded softly. She watched the duo leave to go to her penthouse and Tzuyu squared her shoulders before turning around and walking slowly towards Mina’s bedroom.

She stopped just right in front of the door trying to calm her breathing. Her heart was thumping erratically against her chest. She couldn’t help but mentally chastise herself for treating her Mina Unnie the way she did earlier. She has never done that to her and she swore to herself not to do it again. There was no excuse to treat Mina the way she did and Tzuyu was willing to go there tail between her legs and plead for the forgiveness she didn’t deserve.

Tzuyu lifted her right hand and knocked softly on the door before resting her forehead onto it before talking gently at a volume she knew the older woman would hear.

“Unnie, can I come in?”

She almost lost her footing when the door was pulled open. Tzuyu could hear and feel her heart beating now when she saw Mina turn and sit on the edge of the bed as she waited for her to come inside. So with quivering hands, Tzuyu gently pushed the door closed before facing the Japanese woman whose head was downcast as she played with the sleeves of her sweater.

She stood there for a moment trying to figure out how to beg for forgiveness as she watched her Unnie still avoiding eye contact. The room was cold. It made the hair on her arms stand up. The room was enveloped in silence. Uncomfortably so. The only thing she could hear was her heart thumping against her chest as her blood rushed to her ears. The room was illuminated but it seemed dim maybe because of the thick tension overwhelming them. Seeing her Unnie’s loving eyes downcast made her heart clench. So she took a deep breath before gently speaking out.

“Unnie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice or talked to you like that. Please accept my apology b-but I understand if you can’t considering how rude I was.”

Her voice quivered. She stood there, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Heart clenching in guilt and remorse. Her fingers longing to interlace themselves with her Unnie’s. She was vulnerable. Yet she didn’t mind. Not when it was with her Mina Unnie. She was safe with her. Tzuyu was always safe with Mina.

So she stepped forward cautiously. Only now noticing her uneasy steps and weak knees. She walked closer to her Unnie whose eyes were still downcast but her fingers now gripping the edge of her sweater. Tzuyu stepped even closer until she could clearly smell the older woman’s distinct calming cherry blossom scent.

She kneeled in front of Mina. Eyes wide as she tried to catch the woman’s fleeting eyes refusing to even look at her. That’s never happened before. She felt her heart clench painfully. Tzuyu shuffled on her knees as she moved closer until she was near enough to rest her head onto her Unnie’s lap and place her quivering hands onto the woman’s knees. Her head was comfortably placed onto Mina’s lap with her face turned towards the side to give herself space to breathe properly. Just like all the times she was comfortably nestled against Mina, Tzuyu felt safe.

So she closed her eyes. Letting the silence fully engulf the whole room.

It was gentle. But Tzuyu felt it. She felt Mina’s fingers thread themselves gently into her hair and comb itself against her locks. She smiled sadly to herself. Not daring to move and interrupt her Unnie’s ministrations. She remained still.

“Unnie loves you, Chewy-yah.”

With her eyes closed and her hands quivering and tightening its grip onto her Unnie’s knees. Tzuyu wept silently. Mina’s voice was gentle. It was full of love. Full of adoration. Yet it was stained with hurt. Pain that Tzuyu caused onto her. So she wept. Her tears dampening the older woman’s thigh. 

“Unnie loves you so much.”

Mina’s voice was soft. Barely a whisper. But Tzuyu heard her. She moved and sat back on her heels as she gazed up at Mina’s soft loving eyes. Those loving eyes that filled her with comfort now looked so wounded. It was a sight she never wanted to see again. She never wanted to see the Japanese woman hurting. Especially not when she was the cause of it.

She sat up on her knees and pressed her forehead against Mina’s collarbone as she wept. Her body wracked with tears. She was sure her tears were soaking the older woman’s sweater but she couldn’t stop weeping. Her quivering hands placed themselves on each of Mina’s sides as she gripped onto her sweater desperately. She sobbed like a little child. Repeating over and over again in desperate cries of remorse. _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_ A broken mantra that was muffled as she kept pressing her forehead against Mina’s collarbone just right above her heart. 

It was something between them and only them. Something Tzuyu only shared with her Mina Unnie. It started as something silly like how she presses her forehead against Sana’s as a sign of comfort and love. With her Mina Unnie, she presses her forehead against her collarbone just right above her heart as a sign of repentance and adoration. It started when they were in college, whenever she did something to upset the Japanese woman, Tzuyu would wrap her arms around Mina’s waist and press her forehead against her chest.

When Mina asked about it before, she just explained _“Whenever I’d scold Gucci, he’d always press his small head against my chest and whine like he was saying sorry. Isn’t that cute, Unnie?”_

She always used it after petty little arguments when they were younger. Now, for the first time, she used it after an awful misunderstanding.

Gently, she pressed against Mina’s chest repeatedly as she wept. She succumbed and let her heart fill with guilt and repentance. Still repeatedly pressing her forehead against Mina in desperation, she hoped that maybe her Mina Unnie would feel how sorry she truly was. She felt Mina’s lithe arms wrap around her quivering shoulders as she wept and it made her sob louder. It made her grip onto Mina’s sweater tighter.

“I can’t lose you. Not you.”

She didn’t know what was coming out of her mouth but she didn’t care. What mattered most was the older woman whose arms were wrapped securely around her shoulders as Mina now rocked them back and forth. She felt her Unnie press light kisses onto the crown of her head before pressing her nose into her tresses as her Unnie whispered to her gently.

“Even in your darkest days, Chou Tzuyu. You’ll always have me.”

Her tears slowed and her heart swelled in adoration. They didn’t move from their position as Tzuyu’s sobs now reduced to silent whimpers. Mina didn’t stop pressing kisses onto her head as they relaxed in each other’s embrace. She didn’t know how long it’s been but she paid it no mind. Tzuyu wrapped her arms tightly around her Unnie’s waist and placed a soft kiss on the underside of Mina’s jaw before burying her face in the crook of Mina’s neck.

“Why didn’t I fall in love with you instead?”

Her voice was deep and scratched from weeping yet it was gentle. She was serious. So Tzuyu sulked against Mina’s neck when she felt the Japanese woman giggle against her temple before placing a gentle kiss onto her skin. Her heart swelled from hearing the older woman’s light chuckle so she continued on with her line of thought.

“It would’ve been easier if it was you. Or Dahyun Unnie. Or Chaeyoungie.”

Her heart was still pounding from weeping but she let herself relax against her Unnie’s stable form. Cherry blossoms wafted into her senses and she let herself be engulfed in the older woman’s scent letting it calm her rampant emotions.

“That’s because we would’ve been too easy. Nothing that lasts is easy and nothing that’s easy lasts.”

She fell further in their embrace feeling Mina’s fingers comb through her locks again. They sat there basking in comfortable silence. Tzuyu was lost in her own thoughts now with her heart fluttering and swelling in adoration for her Unnie. She nuzzled Mina’s neck before whispering against her skin as gently as possible hoping to convey her adoration for her.

“I love you too, Mina Unnie.”

Mina was still sitting at the edge of the bed and Tzuyu still sat up on her knees leaning her weight onto her Unnie’s form. She felt the arms around her tighten and a gentle kiss placed on her temple. It gave her comfort. Like it always did. She heaved a small sigh of relief. Tzuyu remembered the last words Mina uttered during their tense argument earlier. _‘Open your eyes, Chewy’_ For her Unnie. She’ll try.

“Unnie, I don’t love her. I don’t love Lia.”

Mina placed her hands on her shoulders and pushed her back gently. Just enough so that the older woman can see down onto her face as Tzuyu gazed up at the older woman. Mina nodded at her to continue.

“She knows yet she still continued on. Maybe that’s why I stayed. Because it was the easier route. Lia gave me an easier way out.”

It was hard for her to say but she needed to. For Tzuyu, saying it out loud made it sincere. Undeniable. Irrefutable. Real.

Her Mina Unnie knew that. She understood. Like she always did. Tzuyu gazed up at the Japanese woman. She felt vulnerable. But with Mina, Tzuyu knew she was always safe. The older woman untangled Tzuyu’s arms from her waist and interlaced their fingers together resting their hands onto her lap. It was a sign of comfort that Tzuyu always craved coming from her. This time was no different.

“I’m scared, Unnie.”

She closed her eyes for a split second when her Unnie leaned down and placed a kiss onto her forehead before pulling back.

“Of what?”

“Of being weak again. Of losing control.”

Mina tugged her hands up and made her sit beside her never letting their hands untangle.

“Don’t be scared to be vulnerable. Let me tell you a little secret. Not being able to be vulnerable is the real weakness.”

She let Mina’s words sink in as she leant forward and pressed her forehead against her Unnie’s chest once more in search for comfort. The Japanese woman always knew the right things to say.

“Chaeyoungie is really lucky to have you.”

Tzuyu mumbled against Mina’s chest as she felt her Unnie giggle against the crown of her head again.

“Didn’t Unnie just tell you? You’ll always have me too.”

She was being cradled now in Mina’s arms. Right now, she didn’t want to be anywhere else. Mina rocked them back and forth gently as she combed through Tzuyu’s locks. Their conversation was hushed. Gentle.

“You’re so precious. Remember Chewy, a heart that’s been broken is a heart that has loved. There’s nothing more precious than that. Nothing more precious than you.”

Tzuyu smiled against Mina’s sweater as she let herself be cradled like a small child. Basking in the serene silence. It was calm. Like it always was with Mina.

“As much as I want to wipe away all the pain that you’re in. I know that I can’t. But I’ll do my best to be here with you. Ever since you came back from Taiwan, I’ve slowly realized something.”

Tzuyu frowned. Mina’s voice was filled with pain but was brimming in realization as well. She wanted to interrupt her. Tell her that her comfort was the only thing that she needed. Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s embraces were the only remedy to her agony. But Tzuyu knew not to intrude.

“I can’t completely heal you. The thing about pain, I grasped, is that you only want to be comforted by the one who wounded you the most.”

Like always. Her Mina Unnie was right.

...

To say the day was strenuous was an understatement. It drained her but warmed her all at the same time. It sent chills throughout her body but lit a fire in her chest. It made her feel alive more than any other performance she’s done. Being in that dim stripped down studio was more nerve-wracking than performing in front of a million people. Because she was singing in front of the focal point of all her songs. She was singing for Tzuyu.

After having dinner in Sana and Momo’s apartment, Jihyo went straight to her dorm at JYPE evading other idols as she was completely drained for the day. She needed reprieve. Jihyo sighed in relief the moment she entered her dorm room. She took her time in recuperating. Taking a shower and putting on her comfortable sweater and a pair of cotton shorts as she sat on her couch letting the stress she accumulated today slowly leave her weary form. She made sure her air conditioning was at a max level making the room chilly. It was as calm as it can get. It was quiet.

Jihyo was about to fall unconscious on the couch but a loud banging on her door shook her awake. She instantly knew who it was. No one else in JYP would knock on her door like that. Not even Dahyun.

She knew the person wouldn’t stop until she opens the door and Jihyo wearily stood from her couch as her heavy feet carried her towards the noise. The idol placed her forehead onto the cool surface of her door as she sighed heavily taking some time to prepare herself for whatever might happen. Slowly opening the door, Jihyo felt the tension gust into her dorm. Just like she expected, a furious Lia was stood indignantly on the other side of the door.

She stepped aside quickly as the younger idol trudged her way inside and stood in the middle of her small living area. For the life of her, Jihyo could not figure out why Lia was mad at her again to have the urgent need to berate her in the confinement of her dorm room. Didn’t Lia win Tzuyu already? Then why is she here again?

She recalled earlier this afternoon when Lia noticeably marked Tzuyu as her territory in front of all their friends. She recalled how the younger idol glued herself to Tzuyu’s side at the CEO’s residential lobby. Sadistically smirking at Jihyo’s direction. What did she want from her now? Jihyo felt the pain from the earlier shoot wrack her body in waves over and over again. She just wanted to rest. To retreat. To grieve.

“Are you happy?”

Lia’s voice slit through the serene silence of her dorm like a sweltering dagger. Jihyo was confused and the younger idol saw her bewilderment. Lia gripped onto her gym bag enraged as she spat at Jihyo.

“You caused trouble between Tzuyu and I. Are you that desperate that you need help from your friends to tear our relationship apart?”

Jihyo stood shell-shocked by the sudden outburst. She has been filled with a dread of defeat throughout the day resigning herself to the fact that Lia has entirely dominated Tzuyu’s heart. Jihyo has never even tried to swindle Tzuyu from Lia’s grip. She wasn’t like that. So hearing Lia accuse her of conspiring with her friends in an attempt to meddle with their relationship was absurd.

Her tiredness left her body replacing it with the need to defend herself. Yes, Lia was with Tzuyu. She accepted and respected that. But she was not going to let the girl tussle her around and blame her for issues regarding their relationship. She was tired. Both emotionally and mentally. Jihyo just wanted Lia to get out but because she was older and much more composed, she stood dauntingly in front of Lia as she addressed the younger girl as poised as she can.

“Lia, just because you two have an issue doesn’t mean I planned and made it happen.”

Lia scoffed at her. Similar to the first time she showed her true colors to Jihyo but this time she wasn’t shocked. She has grown accustomed to how spiteful Lia really is.

“Yeah? Well explain to me why my girlfriend’s ex keeps on hanging out with her behind my back?”

Jihyo froze. She didn’t know Tzuyu hid it from Lia. The older idol was respectful towards her relationship with Lia even though Lia has been not so kind to her. Yet she couldn’t also deny that she wanted to spend time with the young CEO. Before Jihyo could respond, Lia stepped closer and pushed her shoulder causing Jihyo to almost stumble on her feet.

“Let me remind you, _Unnie._ You’re an ex. So act like one.”

Lia was right. She was an ex. Jihyo felt like she’s been slapped across the face. Till this day it still pained her to hear she was nothing more than Tzuyu’s past lover. She was Tzuyu’s past and Lia was her present. She felt defeated. Again. Jihyo didn’t know how many times she’s been hit with a pang of agony. She’ll take it anyway. She deserved this pain.

“Lia-ssi, I know that. Look I’m sorry if my presence has caused arguments between you two but I assure you that I did not and will not do anything to sabotage your relationship. Tzuyu deserves to be happy and if she’s happy with you then I wouldn’t do anything to ruin that.”

Jihyo turned around to quickly grab a bottle of water from her small fridge after sincerely apologizing. It was too much. She felt a nauseous. Her dorm was small so her small kitchen was right beside the living area. Jihyo grabbed two bottles and offered one to a somewhat calmer Lia before taking a generous sip form her own.

“You’re right. She’s very happy with me.”

She nodded solemnly as Lia stood smug in front of her. She guesses the conversation has now dwindled down. It pained her to know that Tzuyu was happy without her but it calmed her at the same time. She couldn’t comprehend what she was feeling. Although, she’d accept it. As long as it meant Tzuyu was happy. That was the most important part. For Tzuyu to be happy. Even if she wasn’t the reason for it.

“Can I ask for a favour? Please. Please take this seriously.”

She hated it. She hated how she sounded. Weak. Defeated. Still, she continued on for her peace of mind. She felt another wave of pain overwhelm her as she fiddled with the plastic bottle in her hand. Jihyo gazed at Lia with pleading eyes as she addressed the girl timidly.

“What?”

“Take her to the moon for me, okay?”


	24. CHAPTER XXIV

She gazed at the worn out journal in her gym bag repulsed at its worn out state. She didn’t even know why she took it. She just did out of impulse. When Jihyo turned around last night to fetch bottles of water, she just had the urge to take something that’s important to the older girl just like how Jihyo was unconsciously taking Tzuyu from her. It seemed like a justified form of revenge so she immediately stuffed the thing inside her gym bag.

It was Sunday morning the day after she settled things with Jihyo in her dorm. Lia was now lounging in ITZY’s dorm room packing an overnight bag for tonight when she decided that she couldn’t take not talking to Tzuyu any longer.

“Unnie, stop glaring at your gym bag or it’ll burn into flames.”

Ryujin snickered at her as she passed by. Lia could hear Yuna snicker from the top bunk so she whined till the maknae stopped. Glancing once again towards the worn out journal, Lia fished it out of her open gym bag and onto her lap.

She assumed when it was first bought that this journal was a pleasant maybe vibrant color of red. Now it donned a somewhat light maroon red tone to it. If that was even possible. Not bad but she wasn’t a fan of red to be honest. She’d much rather prefer the bright colors almost neon to the point where she would think it was twinkling. Not this toned down shade. Yet another thing that differentiates her from Jihyo.

She was much more interesting that’s for sure.

She smirked at that thought and flipped the old journal open. Maybe this was a diary of some sort. The first page was anticlimactic. Lia grazed her finger tips over the somewhat fading ink as she read through the lyrics of Jihyo’s most well-known song ‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’. She scoffed silently. What a boring journal. Out of everything she could’ve plucked from that dorm she picked up a bland worn out lyric journal. 

She didn’t bother sifting through the pages anymore.

Lia deemed it useless to even go further than that. So she dropped it haphazardly inside her gym bag. It was still 5PM in the afternoon and she planned to come over at Tzuyu’s around 6PM this evening. She missed her. Lia smirked to herself as she laid back onto her bed. Make up sex with Tzuyu would be a great way to patch things up. She couldn’t deny how talented her girlfriend was in that particular aspect. Lia was not going to complain at all.

With that thought in mind, Lia stood up and slung her gym bag across her torso before chirping out a goodbye to her members as she skipped her way out of JYPE and took a cab towards her lovely girlfriend’s penthouse. It was time for their reconciliation. Her poor Tzuyu has suffered a day without her presence and Lia’s heart could not take another day without talking to the taller woman anyway.

She was giddy as the elevator opened up to the top most floor. Lia bounded over to Tzuyu’s double doors and knocked thrice. An indication that she was here.

...

Chaos. That was all that’s left of her. She was drowning in her own thoughts. Drowning in her own misery. Talking with her Mina Unnie was like breaking the dam she has been building for almost two years. Now it’s been broken and the rage of water it’s been suppressing has now drowned her whole. Forcing her to acknowledge what she’s been desperately trying to deny for more than a year. Almost two years to be exact. Leaving her grasping for air. For anything that could keep her mind at bay.

She couldn’t deny it anymore. No matter how much she drowned herself in whiskey. No matter how much she tried to ignore it. Now that she’s said it out loud there was no use refuting. No use pretending.

Her heart never wanted to belong to Lia. Never wanted to belong to anyone else.

But Lia was the easier path. The easy win. Lia made her forget. Even for a little while. It’s never occurred to her before but Lia was all her vices rolled into one.

The idol would forbid her from taking in random girls saying she was more than enough to satiate Tzuyu’s needs. She didn’t mind it. It saved her time not needing to go out to bars and clubs to find a new warm body to drain and play with through the night. Lia gave her that. She’d let Tzuyu do everything and anything her primal instincts desired. In the darkness of her room, with no light to illuminate the younger idol, Tzuyu would still close her eyes. She would pretend. Pretend it was someone else.

She could fairly recall the smirk on the younger girl’s face whenever the burning taste of alcohol would hit her too much. Clouding her judgement. Temporarily barring her memory. It seemed like Lia didn’t mind her habit. In fact, the idol would bring her supplies. Different kinds. She’d sit next to her and smile her sweet smile like she always would as Tzuyu gulped down glass after glass. Lia would sit on her knees on the couch and crawl closer towards her when she thinks Tzuyu’s had enough. The CEO could remember each and every time the sweet idol cooed in her ear. She didn’t mind. She welcomed it. Even though she knew it wouldn’t be enough. She wouldn’t be enough. Lia would look into her hazy eyes. The look of pure sin.

Swirling in the innocent looking girl’s own orbs and Tzuyu would welcome it. She welcomed it each and every time. Because it made her forget. Even for a little while. In the dark, when she was comfortably settled in between the girl’s thighs, Tzuyu would feel Lia’s cold palms cup her cheeks as her innocent voice whispered in her ear. _‘Isn’t this exactly how you want me? Spread open just for you?’_ In her hazy mind, she would agree.

It benefited her as well having the idol be a part of her advertisement campaign. At work. It skyrocketed her sales. Having an up and coming girl group would do that.

Alcohol.

Sex.

Work.

Lia gave her every single one.

But it was never enough. Finally she accepted that it never will be. It seemed like there was no other outcome other than breaking up but she couldn’t help but feel bad. Lia has been there for her. Willing to accept and love her despite being broken beyond repair. Maybe there was another way? Could they still work things out? She didn’t want to seem ungrateful and hurt someone who stuck by her side. Lia’s love or a person’s love in general is not something that’s supposed to be wasted. She knew what that felt like and she didn’t want Lia to go through the pain that she did. It was just that Tzuyu couldn’t love her back. She knew she never will.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar knock on her door. It was Lia’s knock. Tzuyu rose from the couch and made her way slowly towards the noise. She was taken aback. It was just a day after the argument so she wasn’t expecting Lia to show up this fast. Maybe it was for the best so they can talk it out and figure out where their relationship was headed.

She can’t help but grip at her thrumming chest. This was so fucked up. _She_ was so fucked up. She roped Lia into this situation and the innocent girl was going to get hurt because of her.

Tzuyu opened the door and true enough, Lia was standing there with her wide innocent eyes, sweet nervous smile and a gym bag slung over her shoulder. _I don’t want to hurt you._

“Hi” 

Tzuyu couldn’t help but return Lia’s soft smile with one of her own and respond with a hello before letting the girl inside. She couldn’t help the pang of guilt and pain that hit her when she saw Lia with an overnight bag knowing that the night wouldn’t end pleasantly. Lia sat timidly on her couch and smiled up at her.

“I’m not mad anymore. Not that I can stay mad at you for too long.”

Tzuyu looked at the girl solemnly. This was the girl who loved her. The girl she couldn’t love back. The girl she was about to break.

It might sound stupid but the young CEO didn’t know what to do or how to do it. Her only relationship experience was with Jihyo and that was her only involvement in heart break. The girls who came after the idol were merely one night stands who didn’t care if Tzuyu would make them leave the following morning. Lia, however, was a different case and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out how to start the conversation. Not when the girl looked so timid sitting on her pristine couch. So the CEO sat beside her and stared at the vacant space that separated the both of them.

Once again she couldn’t help but berate her heart for not falling in love with the young idol instead but that was something she couldn’t fix. Before she could react, a pair of lithe arms wrapped around her neck and Lia buried her nose into the collar of Tzuyu’s hoodie. Lia’s strong strawberry scent immediately invading Tzuyu’s senses. She’s gotten used to it by now so she decided to pat the girl’s hair instead, not finding it in herself to wrap her arms around the idol.

“Are you mad at me? Why aren’t you talking?”

It was muffled due to the idol burying her face into her chest but Tzuyu picked up on it. She shook her head but realized that Lia couldn’t see so instead she cleared her throat before whispering into the silent penthouse.

“I think we need to talk.”

There was a pause. An undeniable tension in the room made its presence known as soon as she said it. A looming cloud above both their heads and she knew Lia felt it when the girl went rigid against her. The arms wrapped around her neck tightened and she felt Lia shake her head.

“No. Don’t do this to me.”

She watched as Lia pulled back to look into her eyes. It was glistening and swirling with denial. The idol didn’t want to have this conversation. Neither did she but the CEO knew it had to be done.

“Lia please-“

“No.”

Tzuyu sighed heavily as she watched the girl completely unravel her arms around her. She didn’t expect Lia to act like this. So she watched as the younger woman picked up her gym bag and walk towards Tzuyu’s bedroom.

“I’m staying for the night and were going to work through this.”

She stood up. Anxiety now filling her body. This was not how she envisioned it to be. She just wanted a calm conversation so they could still salvage the friendship they had. Not Lia outright denying the chance to meet halfway. The said idol emerged from Tzuyu’s bedroom and walked towards her with pure determination in her eyes.

She felt cold quivering hands cup her cheeks tightly and pulling her down. Her lips were captured in a searing kiss but she didn’t reciprocate. It was harsh. Desperate even. The hold on her cheeks were tighter. She attempted to pull her head back but that made Lia kiss her with more desperation. She felt a hand slither down her hoodie and slip its way underneath the fabric. With all the controlled strength she could muster, Tzuyu pulled Lia’s hands away making sure not to hurt the woman and stepped back to distance herself from the idol.

“Stop. _Please.”_

By now, streams of tears were running down Lia’s innocent face and Tzuyu felt horrible. Is this how it felt like? To hurt someone who loved you so much? If so, she couldn’t understand how Jihyo did it. Jihyo. Park Jihyo. She wanted to laugh morbidly at herself. She was so fucked up. Even in this horrid situation her thoughts always made its way back to Jihyo. Lia didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve someone as broken as her.

“Why? Is this about the key? God, Tzuyu you can take it back!”

She was shaking. By the way Lia wrapped her arms around her small torso, Tzuyu knew the girl was quivering.

“N-no. It was never about the key.”

She took a deep breath before taking a step forward making the idol look up at her with wide pleading eyes.

“Lia, you know I don’t love you. You told me that you could wait for me but that’s not fair to you. I-I can’t let you do that.”

She couldn’t control it. Tzuyu couldn’t stop her voice from shaking. She was pleading as well. Begging for the girl to understand. The air was thick now. Almost choking. Tension was at its peak and there was no going back. This was the right thing to do.

“I can’t let you wait for nothing.”

There it was. The truth. Unpleasant but the truth nonetheless. It was truthful, if she let this continue, there was still no point to it. Tzuyu would never love the idol back the way she wanted her to. In a way, maybe the CEO always knew. She just wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

The idol took cautious steps towards her before placing her quivering hands onto Tzuyu’s forearms. She felt awful. Feeling the girl’s shaking palms through the fabric of her hoodie as the girl looked up with pained eyes. She did this to her. She hurt her. Maybe that was all she knew how to do. Hurt people. From her Mina Unnie to this sweet young idol. Both just wanted nothing more than to love her. Yet she hurt them. 

“I-it’s okay, Tzuyu. I told you didn’t I? I can wait for you. It’s okay.”

She smiled sadly down at Lia’s pleading eyes. This woman was too nice to her. She didn’t deserve it.

“It’s not okay. We both know it’s not.”

Lia’s eyes hardened. The idol shifted so that her hands were now holding onto Tzuyu’s tense shoulders. Their bodies now flush against each other as Lia stood on her tiptoes, the tip of her nose grazing the CEO’s jawline. Tzuyu didn’t touch her back.

“We’re going to be okay.”

_No. We’re not._

“Couples go through this a lot.”

_No. They don’t._

“You’re just confused.”

_No. I’m not._

Lia’s voice was deeper. Pleading, still. Yet suggestive. She couldn’t do this. Tzuyu knew where this was headed. Sadly, sex can’t fix this like it fixed their other arguments. This can’t go on for too long. She needed to end this conversation now to let the girl process it on her own. They needed to be apart.

Tzuyu stepped back again. Lia’s hands falling off her shoulders. She’s never done this before. Rejecting Lia’s advances. The idol was shocked as well. Lia scoffed and shook her head at her in disbelief. The younger woman moved back, her steps shaky as she sat down on the couch.

“We can’t do this anymore. _I_ can’t do this anymore. It’s time to stop pretending, Lia.”

Her face was emotionless now. Like all the times she tried to stop herself from hurting and spiralling down a dark swirl of emotions. She needed to be in control. She waited patiently for the idol to process all the things she said so she stood there unmoving only staring at the silently tearing idol. Pain engulfed her whole body but she felt _lighter_.

“Did she tell you to do this?”

Tzuyu’s brows furrowed in confusion as she tilted her head to the side. Lia looked up at her from her spot on the couch with anger in her orbs. Something about Lia’s look unnerved her. She couldn’t quite place a finger on it but she knew it made her uncomfortable.

“No one told me to do anything, Lia.”

Something else flashed through Lia’s eyes and it made the hair on Tzuyu’s arm stand up in discomfort. The CEO furrowed her brows as she regarded the stand-offish idol.

“Oh please. Tell me, did she come to you crying last night? Telling you how bad I was for telling her to stay away from _my_ girlfriend?!”

Tzuyu felt her hands shake in anger. She clenched her fists and stood straighter. There was something going on behind her back and she wanted to know exactly what it was.

“What and who the hell are you talking about?”

Lia stood up and made her way towards her with calculated steps as the idol clenched her own fists. Her face was tinted with anger. The innocent veil on her face now lifted. Eyes ablaze and daunting. Tzuyu didn’t know who was standing in front of her anymore.

“Who else? Park Jihyo. She came here didn’t she? Asking for comfort because she wanted me to _‘take you to the moon’_ for her. Pathetic.”

Something inside her ached. A surge of protectiveness ran all throughout her heated body and she gritted her teeth. She dropped her voice making sure that she still sounded crystal clear as her tone dripped in warning.

“What did you do to Jihyo?”

Her head heated up significantly when all Lia did was scoff in disbelief and smirk at her wider. The young idol didn’t seem at all fazed with her daunting tone.

“Concerned are we? Don’t worry I didn’t do anything to her. Like I said I just told her to stay away from my girlfriend.”

So Lia’s been going behind her back and threatening people to stay away? She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. What else did this girl hide? She couldn’t decipher what emotions are bombarding her as of the moment. It was all swirling deep inside her. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. Protectiveness.

“You shouldn’t have done that. If _we_ have a problem then _we_ should be the ones discussing it.”

She was livid beyond belief. She didn’t recognize Lia anymore. Not with her spiteful tongue and ill-behaved anger. Tzuyu watched carefully as Lia crossed her arms in front of her chest and heaved a sigh before tilting her head back to observe Tzuyu as well.

“So it wasn’t Jihyo _Unnie_. Ahh of course, how can I forget? Of course it would be Mina _Unnie_ , right?”

Tzuyu didn’t like how Lia rolled out Mina’s name from her tongue. It was sarcastic. Spiteful even. Insolent. If Tzuyu was angered earlier then she was completely livid now. No one can talk about her Unnie like that. Absolutely no one.

“Don’t. Don’t drag my Unnie in this, Lia. I told you no one made me do anything. Stop dragging people in _our_ problem.”

Her vision was starting to blur in anger. Nothing about this was what she planned it to be. Rather than a calm conversation, they were now unravelling everything this idol has concealed from her. Lia approached her slowly. The idol’s eyes now shifting into another emotion. Tzuyu couldn’t keep but she observed her nonetheless. It was provocative. The way Lia walked towards her making sure to accentuate her hips and smirking at her with a glint in her eye. She stopped a foot away from Tzuyu and the CEO remained rigid on the spot as Lia raised her right hand to glide it down from Tzuyu’s collarbone to the hem of her hoodie, fiddling with the fabric as Lia eyed her suggestively.

“You know. I’ve always wondered why you’re so attached to your _Mina_ _Unnie_. Isn’t she too fond of you? More than her own girlfriend? I mean she even left you a voice message saying she had an _‘anxiety attack’_ and that she needed you to sleep beside her. I’m no fool. I know she wasn’t just talking about plain _sleeping_. Does she let you fuck her good?”

Lia giggled darkly before continuing as she stared into Tzuyu’s now dark angry eyes. Realization now hitting the CEO in full force. It was Lia. All those months ago when her Unnie thought she ignored her voice mail. It was _Lia_. Tzuyu clenched her fists tightly as anger enveloped her whole being. Her Unnie. Her Mina Unnie. Suffering and thinking Tzuyu ignored her when in reality Lia tinkered with the voice mail. Who else could’ve done it? Just Lia. Tzuyu was beyond livid now.

“I guess you have an _Unnie kink_ huh? That’s why you don’t want me? Because I’m younger?”

Quickly, she gripped Lia’s wrist that was fiddling with her hoodie and lifted it between them. She was shaking now but she kept her grip firm as she glared down at the still smirking idol.

“All this time. All this time I thought I accidentally deleted my Unnie’s voice mail but it was you?! Why would you do that?! If I wasn’t in my right mind I would’ve slapped you right now Lia!”

Instead of fear, Lia’s eyes darkened with something else. Tzuyu couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t believe this _insanity_. The CEO watched in disbelief and anger as the idol cooed at her and tried but failed to push her body flush against hers. When that failed, Lia pulled Tzuyu’s hand that was gripping her wrist towards her neck and tried to place it around her throat while smirking up at her.

“You know you can do anything to me, _Daepyo_ - _nim_. How about choking me instead? You know I love it when you’re rough. Make up sex sounds good right now doesn’t it?”

She pulled her hand back like it was burnt and clenched it beside her. Tzuyu didn’t notice it until now but she was breathing heavily from all the information she just discovered. Her head was getting light and dizzy from irritation. She needed Lia to get out of her penthouse. Now.

“You went behind my back and threatened Jihyo. You went behind my back and listened to my Unnie’s cry for help without telling me. I don’t know who you are anymore. You just gave me more than enough reasons to end this right now. You need to go before I do something I’ll regret. Where’s your bag? I’m getting the spare key.”

Lia frowned at her and made her way back to the couch.

“In your room.”

Without so much as a glance, Tzuyu made her way swiftly towards her bedroom making sure to lock the door behind her to avoid Lia following her inside. The CEO roamed her tired eyes around the room and zeroed in on the gym bag perched on top of the foot of her bed. She sighed in relief and made her way towards it. Unzipping the main compartment of the bag, her eyes furrowed even more at what she saw. It was a worn out red journal. Simple and plain but she knew that journal.

It was the journal she gave Jihyo.

She was sure of it. Tzuyu hovered her hand above the journal. She hasn’t seen it for years. It didn’t cross her mind that the older idol used it all this time. She knew it was Jihyo’s journal from the color and the simple plain design it had. Just to make sure, Tzuyu wrapped her fingers around its edges and pulled it out of Lia’s gym bag. She didn’t know how Lia had a hold on this but she didn’t want to think about that right now. Surely, it would just make her head heat up again.

Tzuyu straightened her posture as she glided her fingers on top of the journal in her hand. Delicately, she opened it at its very last page noting how its edges weren’t as sharp signifying how used it was. There, at the very last page of the journal was Tzuyu’s own handwriting.

_‘Love is the only thing that time cannot touch. A love I will carry from eons to oceans to inches, back to you. – Lang Leave’_

Her breath hitched and her hands quivered. She could hear the blood pump up to her head as her heart thumped erratically against her chest. It was a quote from one of the books she’s been reading back when she was in her junior year in college and Jihyo was a senior. There was something about it. Something that pulled onto her heartstrings but in a good way. It reminded her of Jihyo. Tzuyu smiled forlornly at the quote she wrote. It was back when they had their first big argument. She was so distraught. Not used to having misunderstandings with her girlfriend. So she bought her this journal as a means of apology which the older girl gladly accepted with teary eyes and soft strings of requests for forgiveness spilling from her lips and onto Tzuyu’s own. In the end, it was charming. A precious memory that she’s been unconsciously holding closely to her heart. Reading it back when she was a junior and reading it now that she was a CEO of her own company hit very differently.

She shook her head. This wasn’t the right time to think about that.

The CEO closed the journal gently and made her way towards her nightstand opening one of its compartments and tenderly placing the journal inside. She couldn’t think about that right now not when she just discovered what Lia had done. She made her way back to the gym bag and started looking for the spare key swiftly. It was beneath all of Lia’s overnight clothes when she found it. She placed it at the foot of her bed for now and slung the gym bag over her shoulder before walking robotically out of the room and in front of the still unmoving idol on her couch.

Tzuyu stood in front of Lia and placed the bag on her lap. All the anger that she forgot because of seeing Jihyo’s journal now resurfaced as she stared into Lia’s eyes.

“You know, at first I was really hoping to salvage any kind of friendship out of this. But hearing about the things you’ve done and thinking about all the other things you did but didn’t mention, I just can’t process it anymore. I think you should go. We need to be away from each other.”

It was eerie. Unpleasant. The air in the room was not comforting. Now knowing all the things she’s been too blind to see. Her Mina Unnie was right all along. Like she always was. She should’ve opened her eyes. Sooner.

Lia sighed heavily and stood up onto her feet in front of Tzuyu. The idol stood up on her tiptoes and placed a light lingering kiss onto Tzuyu’s cheek before lowering herself back down.

“Are you going to run right back into Jihyo’s arms?”

Tzuyu furrowed her brows yet again at the absurdity of that statement before quickly responding.

“No.”

The look on Lia’s face was that of doubt. Like she didn’t believe what Tzuyu so abruptly replied. Nevertheless, the idol smiled at her sadly before walking towards Tzuyu’s door and pulling the door open.

“You can come right back to me when she hurts you again.”


	25. CHAPTER XXV

She shouldn’t be here. She knew that. It was Monday evening after all but what was she to do? This was all she knew. It was rather familiar. The darkness. Blasts of Technicolor lights blurring her vision. The bass thrumming making her heart beat tangle with its loud incessant beat. Numerous bodies pushing themselves flush against her hoping they could be blessed with even an ounce of her attention. She paid them no mind as she let the beat and the alcohol consume her even when a pair of lips pressed themselves against her neck. The CEO only turned her head away and walked towards the bar. Ordering another drink as she sat on the stool absentmindedly playing with the rim of the Gin Negroni that was placed in front of her.

It was the same high end bar she frequented. The club where high profile characters flooded. It was the same bar where she pressed Lia against the wall months ago when she caught sight of Jihyo and their other friends. Here she was again months later still broken as the last time or maybe even worse. She chuckled to herself before downing the whole glass feeling the pleasant burn make its way down her throat. Jihyo. It would always come back to her wouldn’t it? Everywhere she looked. Every little thing she recalled. Every random flashback. It always went back to Jihyo. It frustrated her to no end. Jihyo frustrated her to no end.

She was supposed to be grieving. Grieving for a lost relationship with Lia. But she wasn’t. She was oddly relieved. Now knowing that the girl has been doing infuriating things behind her back. She hasn’t told anyone about the breakup yet. Not even DubChaeng or her Mina Unnie. She didn’t know what to do next aside from continuing on with her booming business of course but in terms of personal life she was basically back to square one. No Lia to distract her. Just constant spurts of pain in her chest as a multitude of agony drowns her body at a random thought of Jihyo. It was true that she didn’t mind being in a room with the idol but there was a part of her that yearned to be closer. Yearned to be nearer. To hear her explain. Hear her plead her case.

That was the part that she could not understand.

She shouldn’t be feeling that. She shouldn’t even be thinking about it. Jihyo was the reason why she is the way she is today. Jihyo was the reason why she fled from South Korea for a year. Jihyo was the reason. She cheated. She didn’t deserve a chance to explain herself.

A pang of pain hit her again and like always she ordered another drink from the bartender whose eyes haven’t left her body since the moment she sat down. It was fine though. She was used to it. In fact she welcomed it. Not that she swung that way. She had long been open and comfortable with her sexuality to not be bothered by men ogling her body like she was a rare piece of meat. It was hilarious how men and women worship the land she walks on with a single smile she sends them so Tzuyu amused herself with watching the bartender try to charmingly prepare a drink in front of her. An Aunt Roberta this time. 100% alcohol. Gin, vodka, absinthe, brandy and blackberry liquor mixed together. Nothing but the strongest drink for Chou Tzuyu.

“Drink for the lady.”

It was disgusting really. The greedy smirk on his face as he not so subtly eyed her torso. It was mediocre at best. Of course she knew. Tzuyu has mastered everything there is to know about flirting and what not and what was happening in front of her was average. She smirked at him nonetheless as she accepted the drink and taking a sip all the while maintaining eye contact with the enthralled man she had wrapped around her pretty little finger. She always loved this. Being in control.

“On the house.”

Free drinks weren’t a bad thing as well. Even though she could buy this whole bar it was still nice to get a free drink. The only problem was that men, for the life of them, could not take a hint when to stop. Her mood dampened when the man leaned against the bar towards her and kept staring her face. She rose a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Are you here alone? I can keep you company. Or better yet can I get your number?”

She chuckled lightly against the glass before placing it back onto the bar. It seemed like the man thought he was quite amusing as he broke into a grin. She was about to turn him down when an arm placed itself around her waist quite possessively.

“Actually, she’s with me.”

The man’s face dropped at the sight and he begrudgingly backed away to tend to other customers lingering at the bar. Tzuyu, however, was pissed off. Not because of the man leaving but because of someone else turning down the man she wanted to use as a punching bag. The grip on her waist didn’t budge so the CEO turned her head towards the woman pressed against her side. Not that she needed to turn her head upwards much due to the intruder’s height.

“Im Nayeon. Who gave permission for you to touch me?”

The older woman dropped the glare on her face that was still trained onto the man and immediately stepped back from the angered CEO. Im Nayeon was standing in front of her, tight dress, high heeled pumps and red lips. Her style didn’t change as much but it definitely matured. The older woman looked at her with sheepish yet concerned eyes. Her hands were in front of her as she fiddled with her fingers again.

“S-sorry. Just wanted him to stop bothering you. Are you okay?”

It would’ve been endearing if she was still the same doe eyed young Taiwanese girl like she was before. But she wasn’t. She could perfectly handle the situation herself. Tzuyu didn’t need an _Unnie_ to save her from something. So the CEO stood up and leaned her back against the bar in front of a flustered Nayeon. She crossed her arms and sighed heavily as she stared down at the woman.

“Great actually till you came along. Even got a free drink. Didn’t need you to save me. I’m not a damsel in distress.”

Nayeon was looking up at her with wide eyes. She couldn’t blame her. It was, after all, her first time seeing Tzuyu at a bar alone and doing perfectly well in charming everybody. Not to mention, downing the most alcoholic drink on the menu.

Tzuyu wasn’t even shocked to have run across the older girl. This was the same bar idols frequented as well and being friends with Jihyo probably gave them access to this high end bar. The CEO tilted her head to the side. Momo and Sana were actually quite prominent dancers in the industry as well. Not famous but definitely good that they’ve been dancing back up for very well-known Kpop groups. Nayeon, however, was not known in the entertainment industry. She was a struggling actress. Often getting small modeling jobs at the side form what her Sana Unnie told her. It wasn’t a shock for the older woman to be here. Speaking of the older women, Tzuyu roamed her eyes around the dark club and tried to find who Nayeon was with. She did promise Jeongyeon a drink during Sana’s birthday party.

“They’re not here with me. I was out with some of my model friends.”

If it wasn’t for their close proximity, the CEO wouldn’t have heard her above the thumping bass. She snapped her eyes back to the anxious woman and her eyes glinted darkly.

“Model friends huh? Mind introducing me to some?”

Nayeon’s eyes widened yet again and Tzuyu rolled her eyes in exasperation. Reaching for the half empty glass at the bar, she brought it to her lips and sipped while watching the older woman’s shocked expression. Raising the glass up to eye level, she could see her lipstick mark on its rim and she amused herself with it while she let Nayeon gape at her.

“T-tzuyu! You have a girlfriend!”

She chuckled at that. Before leaning down until she was eye level with the shocked woman. Nayeon, following her every move.

“I’m not a cheater and if you must know, Lia and I broke up.”

It was rather comical. The way Nayeon’s jaw dropped. If she was sober she wouldn’t have laughed but she was tipsy so she did.

“What? Is that why you’re here? Are you okay?”

Her head was about to throb from all the questions so she turned around and eyed the bartender again who happily abandoned a customer to take Tzuyu’s order. Unfortunately, turning back around Nayeon was still there now looking more concerned. Tzuyu took a generous sip from her drink and she saw how the older woman followed the glass towards her lips. She smirked.

“Didn’t I tell you? I drink.”

“Tzuyu I don’t think you should drink alone.”

She rose an eyebrow when the woman stubbornly took a seat on a stool beside her and placed her small clutch bag on top of the bar. Tzuyu took a seat as well and nursed her drink in silence. Once again losing herself to the bass. Her peace was interrupted when Nayeon tensed beside her and a slender woman placed herself between them as she leant her back against the bar. Tzuyu looked up from her drink and raked her eyes up and down the woman’s slender body. It seemed like the woman didn’t mind. When Tzuyu’s eyes finally landed onto her face, the girl was smirking back at her.

“Hi. You alone tonight?”

Tzuyu’s smirk deepened and she stood in front of the woman noting how she was still taller. That’s good. She liked being able to tower over her one night stands. In fact, Tzuyu preferred shorter women. Her eyes dropped to the stranger’s lips and lingered there for a moment before returning to her eyes. The woman lifted her hand and traced her finger onto Tzuyu’s exposed collarbone. The CEO was wearing a tight black bodycon dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Paired with it was blood red pumps adorning her feet making Tzuyu taller than she already is. Her make up wasn’t overboard it was natural with red lipstick. Looking back at the stranger, she stared at her features. Not bad. She’ll have to do for tonight. Tzuyu could always just close her eyes anyway. So she stepped forward into the woman’s personal space leaning down so she could place a kiss onto the stranger’s waiting lips.

“She’s actually not alone.”

A surge of irritation filled her yet again when Nayeon pulled her by the arm away from the equally irritated stranger. Tzuyu glared disbelievingly at the smaller woman and furrowed her eyebrows when she saw the older woman’s eyes fill with rage as Nayeon glared at the stranger against the bar. Nayeon didn’t bother looking at Tzuyu and was solely focused on having a rather intense staring match with the stranger. Tzuyu stood there rigid as Nayeon placed a possessive arm around her waist again.

“Trouble in paradise, I see.”

The woman chuckled albeit still irritated from being rudely cut off with her flirting. She stepped towards Tzuyu and tapped her shoulder before sauntering away. She heard Nayeon squeak when Tzuyu not so gently ripped her arm away from her and pushed the older woman against the bar. The CEO’s hand now wrapped around Nayeon’s arm as she kept her pressed against the bar. She shouldn’t have been this angry, really, she could just go and find another woman to fuck but she wasn’t up for the hunt.

“Seriously? Didn’t you see I was about to get a one night stand?!”

“You really think sex will fix whatever it is you’re drinking about?”

Tzuyu laughed darkly. Leave it to Im Nayeon to meddle with her problems. Her grip onto the woman’s arm tightened faintly making Nayeon flinch slightly in mild discomfort. The woman didn’t make any move to free her arm from Tzuyu. Nayeon stood there looking at her with her wide eyes. She looked even smaller like this. With Tzuyu towering over her against the bar. It baffled the CEO how much Nayeon let her ruff her around but she was beyond thinking logically at this point. She just wanted to drink and have sex. Unfortunately, Nayeon didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. So she pushed Nayeon harder making the older woman’s lower back dig against the edge of the bar as Tzuyu growled at her.

“And what will fix it? You?”

“I told you last time I’m going to take care of you better and I’m not going to let you sleep your way all over town even if you get angrier at me.”

Oh great. Now she has a babysitter. Tzuyu let go of Nayeon’s arm and sat back on her stool to down her whole drink. She didn’t even know how many drinks she’s had since she got here. Nayeon just stood there beside her eyeing her every move with concern laced in her eyes. Why can’t she just leave her alone? With an exasperated sigh, Tzuyu called the bartender again and ordered another hard drink.

“I’m not going to force you to tell me what’s wrong but I really want to help you Tzuyu. Let me help you?”

She really wasn’t going to leave her alone. Now her plans of picking up a random woman was thrown out of the window. If she knew one thing about Im Nayeon, it was that the girl was irritatingly persistent. She might as well go. The bass was getting annoying and she was sure that every girl that would come close to her would just be scared away by the persistent woman beside her. There was no point in being here anymore. So she stood up. Noting how her legs were unstable. Still, she didn’t let Nayeon notice.

“I’m leaving.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Tzuyu froze in her spot and glared at the older woman who was now plucking her clutch bag from the bar.

“The only people I go home with from the bar are one night stands. You, are not a one night stand.”

“It’s time to cut your self-destructive habits.”

Nayeon stood in front of her with hands on her hips. She was challenging her back now. Tzuyu was trying to be nice but that was the last straw. She stalked closer to the girl towering above Nayeon once again. Tzuyu saw how Nayeon’s tough resolve wavered and she growled threateningly at her. Making sure the woman heard every single word coming out of her mouth.

“You don’t get to tell me what I can or cannot do, Im Nayeon. Not when you were one of the reasons I’m like this. I can fuck whoever I want to fuck.”

Pain. It engulfed her again. Her hands were shaking beside her as she growled at the shorter woman. Her voice was laced with anger and repulsion. This time, Nayeon was scared. Tzuyu saw how her eyes softened. She saw how Nayeon dropped her hands from her hips. Her challenging stance now gone. Morphed into a timid one that made Tzuyu scoff in irritation. They stood there for a while, Tzuyu towering over the woman as the bass made their bodies thrum. The Technicolor lights hitting their faces illuminating their skin with its shades. Tzuyu’s ears were ringing in anger. Even when Nayeon’s eyes glistened with unshed tears of guilt.

It was painful. Seeing Nayeon care for her now when she was capable of handling herself. This was the Unnie she needed back then. This was the Unnie she cried for. She was late. Two years late.

Nayeon’s bottom lip was quivering. Tzuyu saw her take a deep breath before talking making sure her voice was heard over the loud bass.

“I know. I was part of the reason why you’re so broken and I’m going to try my best to help fix you. This time, I’m not leaving you. Unnie will stay with you, Chewy-yah.”

The loud bass was muffled. Her sight becoming blurry. Her shoulders tense. She stood there rigid. Looking at the woman she used to trust. Maybe she did drink too much. She wasn’t quite sure. She watched like she was in a trance as Nayeon stepped forward cautiously. Slowly. Making sure Tzuyu wouldn’t push her back against the bar before she proceeded. Nayeon’s arms lifted slightly and gently encircled Tzuyu’s slim waist. Her body softly pressed against hers as the shorter woman pressed her cheek against her exposed shoulder. She just stood there. Unmoving.

“Let Unnie stay with you please.”

**...**

She stole a quick glance at the woman driving beside her. Tzuyu’s grip on the steering wheel was tight. Her eyes solely focused on the road. Nayeon was tense as well. Sitting timidly at the passenger seat. The car ride was silent. No music playing on the radio. The streets were bare. Almost no cars in sight. She glanced at the digital screen of Tzuyu’s high end car to look at the time. 2:00AM.

The ride was short and tense. She knew the younger woman didn’t want her there but she was adamant about taking better care of Tzuyu. Even if it meant being slammed against the bar and getting snarled at in public. She’ll take it.

The moment they entered the residential building, Nayeon let out a sigh of relief. Not that she didn’t trust Tzuyu’s driving but the girl was clearly intoxicated. In layman’s term, she was drunk. She wondered how many times Tzuyu has driven herself home drunk. A wave of guilt washed over her again. Suffocating her thinking about the year and a half of Tzuyu doing exactly what she saw earlier. Going to bars, drinking alone while flocks of people snaked their way to her, driving home drunk and fucking the nearest warm body she could find. It made her shiver.

Nayeon thanked her lucky stars that she was at the club tonight.

Entering the penthouse, Nayeon followed Tzuyu as they made their way into the girl’s room. She stood there in the middle of the younger woman’s large modern bedroom while Tzuyu disappeared into what she could only assume was her walk in closet. Like the first time she saw Tzuyu’s penthouse, the bedroom was clearly lavish yet minimalist in style. There was a floor to ceiling glass wall on the other end and Nayeon could clearly see the slumbering city of Seoul in all its glory. She was sure she couldn’t afford even a single piece of furniture here. Still, the room seemed hollow. Empty. Just like the woman who owned it.

Tzuyu emerged from the walk in closet and held up a pair of sweat pants and a shirt. To say she was shocked was an understatement as she gaped at the younger woman.

“Are you going to take it or do you want me to kick you out?”

She took the clothing quickly. Knowing Tzuyu, the girl would gladly kick her out when presented an opportunity to do so. Nayeon noticed how gruff Tzuyu’s voice became but less daunting as compared to earlier in the club. She still looked as menacing as always but at least she wasn’t growling at her.

“The shower is through the door next to this one. Extra towels on the rack. Spare toothbrush on the counter. Be quick.”

She didn’t waste time as she scampered towards the bathroom. Her heart fluttered in her chest at Tzuyu’s hospitality. Even when they were younger, the Taiwanese woman was always so hospitable to guests. She couldn’t count how many times she barged into Tzuyu’s college apartment unannounced and every single time, Tzuyu would still treat her cordially. It took her less than ten minutes to finish showering. Making sure her make-up was completely wiped off. Nayeon yelped and her hand flew to her beating chest when the moment she exited the bathroom,

Tzuyu was leaning against the wall clutching her clothes against her chest. It seemed like the CEO was dozing off but the sound of Nayeon’s ungraceful yelp coaxed her awake. Nayeon stood there trying to calm her erratic heart but Tzuyu didn’t even glance in her direction. Only shoving her lightly to the side as she entered the shower room. Nayeon entered the bedroom again placing herself on top of Tzuyu’s expensive mattress. She wondered how many women have been in this room. She shook her head at the thought. Not wanting to know such explicit information. She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Chou Tzuyu was not the Chewy she knew way back then.

A few minutes later, Tzuyu entered the room as well now looking more sober from having washed off the stench of alcohol and sweaty bodies from earlier. The lights were turned off engulfing them in temporary darkness before Tzuyu turned the night lamp on and settling down beside her with the CEO’s back against the headboard. A warm glow now surrounding them.

Nayeon smiled solemnly when the younger woman placed a pillow in between them. She remembered back when they were younger that Tzuyu would always do this whenever Nayeon would crash at her apartment or vice versa.

The room was silent. Their faces illuminated by the gentle glow of the lamp. She was getting drowsy. It was oddly tranquil even though the woman terrified her. Tzuyu’s scent always calmed her either way. Now that she was in her bedroom, Tzuyu’s lavender scent fully overran her senses pleasantly. So Nayeon slipped under the covers and faced sideways to gaze at Tzuyu’s stoic features.

“Did she do anything to you too?”

Her eyebrows furrowed at the sudden question. Tzuyu didn’t look at her. The CEO still facing ahead with a sombre look on her face. If she didn’t see the girl’s lips move, Nayeon would’ve thought that she was hearing things on her own.

“Who?”

“Lia.”

“No. Not to me at least.”

Tzuyu nodded lightly at her response before dropping her gaze to her lap. She knew that Lia had an argument with Jihyo but she didn’t know if Tzuyu knew about it. Everything was quiet. The room was in a stand still. It was like time was moving slowly here. It was just them. Her and Tzuyu in her lonely penthouse. The glow from the lamp giving the room a wistful air. The conversation now hushed but the dominating power of Tzuyu’s voice even though lower in volume was still very much intact. Nayeon’s senses were focused on only one person. Tzuyu.

“Did she do anything to you? Was that why you broke up?”

She didn’t get a response for a while but she saw how Tzuyu tensed at her question. It went on for a couple of minutes and she assumed the younger woman wasn’t comfortable with sharing that information. So Nayeon didn’t push further. She was grateful that Tzuyu even let her sleep on the same bed. She’s not going to force the woman into opening up to her when she doesn’t want to. After a while, Nayeon felt her eyes start closing. The warmth of the sheets comforting her. It smelled just like Tzuyu. Lavender. The silence lulling her into serene unconsciousness.

“I couldn’t love her.”

Her eyes shot open. In the dimly lit room, what she saw broke her heart even more. This was her Chewy. The girl now fiddling with her fingers situated on her lap. Her full eyebrows scrunched together and eyes squinting in confusion brimming with unshed tears that glistened against the soft warm glow of the lamp. She was dressed down only in a gray sweater and shorts making her look like how she remembered her back in college. Innocent. Timid. Pure. Her voice soft and unsure now laced with agony. She looked vulnerable. Stripped down. Nayeon’s chest constricted painfully at the sight. This was her Chewy. A broken shell of the loving girl she once knew. Nayeon felt her heart breaking into even tinier pieces. Knowing she lent a hand in breaking this pure woman. 

“You said you wanted to know what’s bothering me so you can help fix it. So tell me, Nayeon. Why can’t I forget? After all this time, why does it still hurt? How do I fix that?” 

Tzuyu was looking at her now. Voice quivering and dripping with exhaustion. Slurred due to the alcohol. Helpless. She looked completely helpless. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t imagine the pain Tzuyu endured. Drowning in this pain for almost two years. All this time, Nayeon and the others thought Tzuyu has moved on. Not even remembering them or wasting a second to think about them. They were all wrong. Tzuyu has been hurting. She’s been hurting because of each and every single one of them. Nayeon could see that now.

A huge part of her knew Tzuyu wasn’t talking about Lia. She knew and she was certain that Tzuyu wasn’t referring to the younger idol.

Often times, Nayeon would be ready with clear cut answers but now as she looked into Tzuyu’s tired exasperated eyes, for the first time, Nayeon didn’t have a solution to offer. The only thing she can provide right now is an explanation. An explanation that may or may not give the younger girl a reason to kick her out in the middle of the night. With Tzuyu’s intoxicated state she wasn’t so sure if the younger woman would be receptive to whatever she wanted to say but Nayeon will try. She owes it to Tzuyu.

“You can’t forget something you don’t fully understand. For the past two years, you’ve been running away. From everything. From everyone. You just turned your back and left. Thinking that distance will solve your pain. It didn’t and now you’re back. Still broken. Because your heart still cannot comprehend why you were put in a situation you didn’t deserve. But instead of asking for an explanation or asking for closure and giving your heart the opportunity to heal. You just ran and you’re still running away.”

Nayeon spoke in a hushed tone. Making sure she was gentle yet firm enough so that Tzuyu could understand what she was saying. She wasn’t doing this to offend her or attack her in anyway. No. Nayeon knew how Tzuyu’s mind worked. The girl was intelligent beyond her years but intelligence could only explain so much. Sometimes she needed guidance to figure out what her heart needed. What it meant. Why it’s feeling the way it is.

“The mind can always make excuses or stories as to why other people hurt you. Why Jihyo did what she did. That’s just how the mind works.”

She paused. Tzuyu’s eyes hardened at the name. She guesses it was because Tzuyu never really discussed that certain incident. Nayeon observed her. The younger woman’s hands were clenched on her lap. Eyes still brimming with unshed tears. Her gaze was solely fixed onto Nayeon and the older woman felt a shiver run up her spine at the sight. Tzuyu really was terrifying when she wanted to be but Nayeon pushed on. Tzuyu needed to hear it. She needed to understand.

“It creates explanations for questions that weren’t given proper answers.”

The room felt colder now. Maybe due to it being so late at night. The glow from the lamp making everything seem like she was dreaming. She took a pause knowing that the younger girl needed a moment to process what she was saying. So Nayeon looked at Tzuyu’s face. The face she’s been searching for. The face she feared of not seeing again. Tzuyu’s hair was dry now. Falling gracefully down her shoulders. Her features more pronounced. Her eyebrows still looking full even without make up. A gentle glow bouncing off of her porcelain skin due to the night lamp beside her. She looked ethereal, Nayeon thought.

Before she could get lost in the younger girl’s weary eyes, she decided to sit up. She did so with a groan noticing how her body felt heavy due to the exhaustion of today’s work. Nayeon moved till her body was completely facing the younger girl who had her back against the headboard. She smiled sadly at Tzuyu. Her heart longing and yearning to gather the young woman in her arms like she would do when they were younger. But she can’t. That made her chest constrict painfully. With a deep breath to calm her nerves. Nayeon continued with a hushed gentle tone.

“The heart is another thing. It doesn’t run on logic. Doesn’t rely on intellectual guesses. That’s because your heart desires things that your mind can’t explain. Needs things that aren’t intellectually reasonable. Stop running away. Stop ignoring your heart.” 

That’s when she saw it. A single tear. Trailing down from Tzuyu’s eye making a little damp pathway onto her porcelain skin. Nayeon’s heart broke for the nth time that night.

Self-restraint really wasn’t her strong suit. All of her friends knew that. All she could focus on was the sight of her Chewy was trying to hold back her tears. So Nayeon pushed the pillow between them aside and gathered the taller girl in her arms. Her arms encircled Tzuyu’s shoulders as she pressed the girl against her body, Tzuyu’s head now resting on her shoulder. She stayed still. Savouring the moment. How the room was gently glowing. The night went still as she gazed out of Tzuyu’s glass window occupying the whole wall on their right. The stars were shining brightly in the dark sky. Her breathing was the only thing she could hear. Lavender now completely invading her nose. Her heart pounded against her chest from finally being able to wrap her arms around the girl she’s been missing for almost two years. The tension in her shoulders she didn’t know she was holding was now dissipating.

Looking down, Nayeon frowned. Tzuyu has her eyes shut closed, her upper teeth biting harshly onto her quivering bottom lip as the younger woman suppressed a sob. Moving her gaze lower, she could see how Tzuyu gripped onto the sheets tightly. Her knuckles turning white. So with a gentleness she didn’t know she had, Nayeon nuzzled the younger woman’s temple making sure to pour out all her adoration for Tzuyu as she placed a light kiss onto her skin. Her heart fluttered when she saw how Tzuyu’s grip loosened considerably. Nayeon pressed the woman closer to her chest as she leant her head down once more to whisper against Tzuyu’s temple.

“It’s okay. Let it go. Unnie is here. Unnie will always be here.”

The fingers that were gripping the sheets were now latched onto her shoulder and one on the side of her torso gripping tightly. Like Nayeon would disappear if Tzuyu didn’t hold onto her tight. Nayeon didn’t mind. She pressed the younger girl closer to her hoping she could provide at least an ounce of comfort. Her arms tightening around Tzuyu’s shaking shoulders as the younger woman turned her head to bury her face into her shoulder no doubt dampening the shirt she was wearing. Again, Nayeon didn’t mind. This was what Dahyun and Chaeyoung spat in her face all those months ago. Saying how she wasn’t there when Tzuyu broke down in their arms. Now she understood fully. She understood how heart wrenching it is to see the girl’s tears. To hear her helplessly sob. To feel Tzuyu’s body fully drown in agony as it quivered. It was, by far, the most heart breaking thing she has seen.

So Nayeon dropped her gaze and buried her nose into Tzuyu’s brown locks inhaling her scent to calm herself down when she felt like sobbing with the younger woman. She placed desperate kisses of remorse onto Tzuyu’s crown as she rubbed the girl’s shoulders and back. _‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’_ Was all Nayeon could croak out like a broken mantra. Whispering it against the girl’s hair as she continued on placing kisses onto her delicate tresses. Tears now rolling down her face. She was always a crier.

When she felt delicate arms encircle her waist tightly, Nayeon knew she would do anything to keep them there.


	26. CHAPTER XXVI

She figured it wasn’t an exaggeration when Sana told her how Tzuyu was the most workaholic person she knows by far. Even far more workaholic than God Jihyo herself. So when Nayeon’s peaceful slumber was cut due to the younger girl stirring in her arms, she wasn’t all that shocked. What shocked her was when she turned her head to the right looking at the still dark sky from Tzuyu’s glass wall. Nayeon then turned her gaze to the small digital clock placed on the night stand. 5:00AM.

That was absurd. Who wakes up at this ungodly hour for work? Apparently Chou Tzuyu did.

Nayeon took a few moments to let herself fully wake up. She was warm. Comfortably so. That’s when she realized her head was nestled on top of Tzuyu’s left shoulder as Nayeon’s left arm laid across the younger woman’s slim torso to keep her close. Her left leg entangled itself with Tzuyu’s long ones. The covers were pulled up to cover them cozily from her neck down. Nayeon smiled softly to herself in the dark. That explained why she had a very deep slumber. She was a natural cuddler. Nayeon just didn’t imagine being able to latch onto the young CEO like this.

“Nayeon get off. I need to get ready for work.”

Chou Tzuyu’s voice early in the morning was definitely something else. Still as commanding as ever but laced with a rough undertone. Nayeon knew for a fact that Tzuyu’s company building was only a 20 minute drive from here and the girl really didn’t take long to shower so she decided to push her luck and tighten her grip around Tzuyu’s torso. An ache made its way to her chest. The same agonizing ache she felt back when she almost turned the City of Seoul upside down because she couldn’t find Tzuyu anywhere. She turned her head to nuzzle the younger woman’s shoulder and spoke. Her speech now muffled.

“If I let go now will you let me hug you again later on?”

Nayeon was pleading. She was begging. Begging for this to not be the last time she can hold onto Tzuyu. Desperation dripped from her muffled voice. The room was dark. The sun yet to rise. It was serenely silent. The City was still asleep. Lavender wafted gently around the room. It was a calmness she hasn’t experienced with the younger woman for a long time. In her heart, she hoped the fates wouldn’t let this be the last. Nayeon felt the gentle rise and fall of Tzuyu’s chest and a soft sigh leave her throat before a hand placed itself on the small of Nayeon’s back.

“Only if you answer me this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She felt like she was melting further and further into the younger woman’s hold. Tzuyu’s voice was smaller now. Softer. Broken. Nayeon took a moment to gather her thoughts. She’s been wanting to explain ever since the night Tzuyu caught Jihyo’s affair. Unfortunately, Tzuyu disappeared from everyone the following day leaving Nayeon desperately trying to figure out where her favourite maknae disappeared to but to no avail.

Nayeon shuffled slowly to place her head onto her right palm as she propped her elbow onto the mattress effectively elevating herself. She made sure not to move away from Tzuyu so her body was still touching the younger woman. The hand on her lower back shifting and placed itself onto her left hip. Her sight adjusted in the dark till she could scarcely see the outline of Tzuyu’s face. Nayeon knew the younger girl was looking up at her curiously. She could feel her stare.

“Because I felt like something wasn’t right. Something about Jihyo wasn’t right. Jeong would often say she’d notice odd things during times when she would wait for her after gigs but I’ve also noticed my fare share. Jihyo seemed dazed. Like she didn’t want to be in that bar. I knew she didn’t want to keep going there. Her hands would shake the whole way there.”

Her voice was hushed. Something that was rare for Im Nayeon. It was barely above a whisper but Nayeon knew Tzuyu could hear her clearly. There was little distance between them after all. Her heart was thumping against her chest and Nayeon placed her left hand onto Tzuyu’s stomach to lightly grip onto the girl’s sweater. She took a calming breath before continuing.

“I confronted her about it. Said awful things as to why she let him grab her indecently that one night and bring her backstage. Her eyes. Her _eyes_ , Tzuyu. Those were not her eyes. I knew she was hiding something. What she said the first time I caught her had me confused even to this day. She’d say _‘Daniel’s right, Nayeonnie. This is all I’m worth.’_ Never in my days have I heard God Jihyo look so controlled. So _helpless_.”

She shut her eyes closed. Nayeon could recall it like it was just yesterday. There was something so eerie about that whole situation and up to this day none of them could pinpoint what it was. Jihyo looked so lifeless. She looked dazed. She couldn’t explain it. But whenever Nayeon and the others would drop by the bar halfway through Jihyo’s late night shift, there was something about her that wasn’t _right_. It was like she was not fully there. Even the slight thought of it made an uneasy shiver run up Nayeon’s spine.

“That’s when I knew she needed to snap out of it on her own. Multiple times in that month before you found out, her eyes would harden like the old Jihyo’s eyes would. With determination saying she’d end it with him. We’d watch her go to the bar that night but the next day after, she’d come back to us with weary eyes saying that she couldn’t. That she needed him to help her achieve something so she’d be worthy. I didn’t understand what she wanted to be worthy of but _fuck_ I hated seeing her like that.”

She quivered lightly and Tzuyu felt it because the hand on her hip tightened faintly as if to bring her out of her haze. Nayeon uncurled her left hand from Tzuyu’s sweater and timidly placed it onto the younger woman’s hand on her hip.

“I didn’t tell you because I needed Jihyo to fight against whatever it is she’s fighting against on her own. Because it seemed like she was trying to fight. Jihyo was trying to break away from _something_. On the day that she looked hell-bent and ready to really break away from him was the night you caught her.”

Nayeon lowered herself back and placed her head securely on top of Tzuyu’s shoulder. Her arm was shaking and so were her palms. She felt her left hand being lifted up by the younger woman and placed securely back around Tzuyu’s torso. At the gesture, Nayeon released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“We don’t know the whole story. She’d break into tears when we ask her so we just avoided it. Till this day no one knows the whole story but Jihyo herself.”

There was a pause. Both of them letting the conversation sink in. Nayeon just gazed at Tzuyu’s glass wall. The room was still dim. She noted how the dark sky was slowly starting to illuminate. Not so much to light the whole room but enough so that Nayeon could now see light details on Tzuyu’s face. Still, the room was blanketed in soothing dimness for now.

“When did she stop looking so dazed?”

“About a month or two after you left.”

**...**

Tzuyu laid there with Nayeon by her side. It was a lot. So she gazed blankly at her white ceiling while she processed all the information given to her. The CEO couldn’t help but think that maybe there really was more to that affair than it let on. Tzuyu, out of everyone, knew and had a different perception as to why Jihyo was called God Jihyo in the first place. Aside from being impeccable and mature beyond her years, Tzuyu likened Jihyo to a god in the sense that there was more to her than her pristine perfection. Jihyo made sure to appear with a strong sense of dignity and power that was deemed by others as an image of excellence. Even in Greek Mythology, Gods had secrets hidden from mere mortals and whether it be good or bad, no one really knew. That made mortals gravitate towards them more. Seek them out and worship them in hopes of being bestowed grace to unlock the mysteries the gods have hidden. They were enigmas moulded into perfect beings.

Jihyo, Tzuyu thought, was a mystery even to her closest friends.

An enigma she unlocked long ago. Unfortunately, that was in the past. Now, Jihyo was once again a god in her eyes. Distant. Seemingly hard to grasp. Complex. Her thoughts went to the faded maroon journal sitting inside her top drawer by the nightstand. She hasn’t even opened it yet but maybe she should. That was something she’d do tonight at least.

She heard Nayeon sigh against her shoulder and Tzuyu decided to wrap her arms around the older woman’s shoulders as a way of thanking her. The weight placed on her body was heavier now as she felt Nayeon sag deeper into her embrace but she paid it no mind. She felt Nayeon timidly nuzzle the underside of her jaw like how she would back when they were younger.

“Don’t push your luck too much.”

She smirked to herself when Nayeon retreated back to her shoulder. Just like what she thought earlier, Im Nayeon was persistent beyond belief. Her persistence, this time, prevented Tzuyu from spiralling back into her old self-destructive behaviours. The younger woman couldn’t help but feel thankful from being saved after all. The room glowed around them in a gentle yellow tint as the sun began to make its presence known. Tzuyu felt Nayeon shiver against her so she reached down to the blanket as she pulled it back on top the both of them up to Nayeon’s chin. The older women really were an affectionate bunch much to Tzuyu’s dismay. Their need for skinship didn’t change in the span of two years.

“Thank you for letting me stay with you and for letting me explain.”

Tzuyu turned her head to look into Nayeon’s eyes. Adoration. That was all she could see. All she could feel and all she could grasp. Her arms tightening around the older woman’s shoulders as sunlight spilled throughout the room illuminating them in its bright early morning glow. In the silence, Tzuyu whispered tenderly to the older woman.

“Maybe you’re right. I’m tired of running away. It’s time to stop.”

Bunny teeth filled her sight and maybe just maybe Tzuyu was heading in the right direction.

**...**

After letting Nayeon borrow some of her day clothes and dropping her at the older woman’s photoshoot venue for a local magazine, Tzuyu made her way towards Chou Inc. It was a typical Tuesday as employees immediately filed out of the elevator the moment they saw their striking CEO trudging towards it. As per usual, her secretary greeted her as the elevator opened spilling out her schedule and meetings for the day as Tzuyu continued on walking towards her office. Sitting in her chair and opening her desktop, the young CEO was immediately hit with a multitude of emails and reports to file through. 8:00AM.

Tzuyu waved her secretary away but not before thanking her. The shock in the woman’s eyes almost made her laugh but she held it in as she walked past her and made her way towards her Mina Unnie’s office. She couldn’t quite decipher what she was feeling as she neared the Japanese woman’s door. Now knowing that Lia somehow fiddled with Mina’s voicemail all those months ago. Tzuyu knew it wasn’t her fault but she couldn’t help but feel responsible. If only she was sober enough to hear it. If only she knew.

She knocked timidly before slipping inside and closing the door behind her. Mina was just about to sit down but paused at the sight of her CEO. Tzuyu watched rigid as Mina stood up to make her way towards her. She didn’t talk. Not being able to find the right time to break the news to her Unnie just yet. Tzuyu stood there as she let Mina cup her cheeks lovingly. She bent down slightly so that the Japanese woman wouldn’t need to tiptoe. Mina touched the tip of her nose onto Tzuyu’s. The faint smell of cherry blossoms now gently invading her senses as she was pleasantly greeted with the Japanese woman’s gummy smile.

“You’re getting good at hiding the alcohol scent. Or maybe you just didn’t drink the pungent smelling ones.”

Tzuyu stood up properly as guilt started overwhelming her yet again at the sight of Mina looking up at her with concern in her eyes. The Japanese woman sensed Tzuyu’s unease right away. Like she always did and soon enough Tzuyu’s waist was encircled with her Unnie’s delicate arms. The older woman now trying to catch her eyes but Tzuyu didn’t have it in her to look back. If Jihyo was a god, Tzuyu was sure her Mina Unnie was a literal angel. In every essence of the word. Blonde hair, porcelain white skin, soft loving eyes, diamond tears and a soothingly loving voice. Guilt made its way to her throat stronger this time, making Tzuyu almost choke into thin air. She recalled how many times she made this woman cry. Recalling how Mina sounded as she chocked a sob or trembled as tears streamed down her face. _I’ve made a fucking angel cry._

“What’s wrong, Chewy-yah? You’re worrying Unnie.”

It was tender. Mina was always tender with her. Always trying to do what’s best for her. Yet Tzuyu couldn’t even pick up a simple voicemail in her Unnie’s time of need because she was too drunk to do so. Soft palms cupped both her cheeks again and lifted her gaze until she had no choice but to look into her Unnie’s eyes. Murmuring the words that’s been swirling in her head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh?”

It was quite adorable to her. How the older woman tilted her head to the side as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at her sudden apology. Tzuyu gave Mina a shaky smile before pulling the Japanese woman into her arms. Mina’s head now comfortably tucked under her chin with Tzuyu’s arms around the woman’s shoulders pressing her closer.

“I’m sorry for not being able to hear the voicemail you sent months ago. But I made sure it won’t happen again. I promise.”

Small hands gripped the sides of her button up shirt as Tzuyu felt her Unnie sag deeper into her embrace. The young CEO could feel Mina nuzzle her neck as she mumbled against her skin.

“That was so long ago. I told you it’s alright. Unnie’s not mad.”

“I broke up with her.”

Tzuyu felt Mina stop. The grip on her sides tensed as the Japanese woman pulled slightly back to gaze up at her. Confusion written all over her pristine features. Confusion immediately replaced with worry as Mina placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Are you okay? Is that why you’re sad?”

She shook her head and locked eyes with her Unnie’s concerned orbs.

“I-I feel like a weight’s been lifted off of me. She told me how she heard your voicemail that night. I figured that’s why I didn’t hear it. It angered me, how she could talk so lightly about the situation while you were suffering alone in your apartment when I could’ve been there by your side. I’m sorry for being so careless.”

She took a deep breath as anger filled her body again at the thought. Her eyes hardened. Fists clenched as her teeth gritted. Tzuyu looked at Mina with all the sincerity she could muster. Chest puffing with outrage.

“So, no. I don’t feel sad that we broke up. I can’t be with someone who hurts the people I love.”

“People?”

A sad smile made its way onto her lips as she stared forlornly at the older woman. Realizing the slip up in her words. She didn’t want to say it just yet. She didn’t want to explain because she didn’t know how to explain it to herself either.

So she just pulled her Unnie into another embrace letting the scent of cherry blossoms engulf her as she let her own words sink in. Drowning her yet again with another wave of agonizing fear.

**...**

It took a couple of hours before DubChaeng let her out of their sight. Dahyun even lounged in her office for the afternoon when Mina told her about the news. The music producer asserting that she couldn’t be in the same building as Lia for the moment so she opted to just stay with Tzuyu. Up until they made their way to Chaeyoung’s apartment, Dahyun always had her hand on her in some way or another. Whether it be holding her hand or hanging onto her arm. Tzuyu didn’t mind. Not when it was Dahyun. So she let the older women fuss over her even if she told them multiple times that she was in fact all right with the whole situation.

It was 9PM when she finally made her way back to her penthouse. Stealing a quick glance to her alcohol collection by the kitchen, she made a mental note to at least give half of it to her Dahyunnie or Jeongyeon Unnie before turning her back and making her way to the shower room. Eager to just lay in bed. It was like she was on autopilot after her conversation with Mina. Her body numb from the onslaught of emotions and information hurled at her these past few days. From Jihyo’s last shoot, Lia’s argument, the breakup and up until her evening with Nayeon. To say that Tzuyu was drained from all of it was an understatement. She was utterly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get a bottle of whiskey and put herself to sleep. But she wouldn’t do that. Nayeon was right, she should at least try to avoid her self-destructive habits.

She took a longer time showering just letting the water hit her numb body as she stood there in a daze. Tzuyu sauntered aimlessly in her walk in closet running her fingers on the fabric of her clothes. Separating the garments Lia owned and making a mental note to let Dahyun give it back to the young idol in her stead. She wasn’t quite confident that she could face Lia without dampening her mood even further. She picked up a hoodie that Chaeyoung gave her as a gift. It was black and fell a couple of inches above her knees. Making her way back into her bedroom, Tzuyu turned off the overhead lights and replaced it with the gentle glow of her night lamp as she leant back against her headboard.

She could see the dark sky from her glass wall to the right. Letting herself stare blankly at its expanse before her gaze fell towards the topmost drawer of her night stand. She reached over and pulled it open, the worn out red journal greeting her again. With an unsteady grip, she pulled it out and set it on her lap opening it to the first couple of pages. She smiled forlornly at the sight of the lyrics of _‘Eyes, Nose, Lips’_ written in Jihyo’s neat handwriting with a couple of erasures here and there. Reading it slowly as she traced a delicate finger over the words. She couldn’t help but replay Jihyo’s last shoot in her mind as she read. How the idol sang like no one else was there. Like the people around her didn’t matter. It was only Jihyo. Her voice and her song. Nothing else. It never failed to make Tzuyu’s chest ache in pain. Never failed to tear her resolve down like she was a flimsy tower of Jenga. She could still hear her. Jihyo’s delicate voice. Maybe Tzuyu was starting to accept how it would always make her crumble.

She turned the pages again. Smiling at how the older woman would place anecdotes about important events and certain dates. This journal was at least a couple of years old. Maybe three years. It was one of the first things she bought for Jihyo using her first pay check. The first couple of pages made her smile as she reminisced about all the things that happened back when they were fresh out of college. When the world seemed kind as they roamed with a twinkle in their eye and heart on their sleeves. It made Tzuyu smile as she traced her finger on top of the worn out page. A particular anecdote catching her attention. She couldn’t help but snicker even though it still left a painful pang in her chest. It was a checklist of the rooms and furniture in their old apartment.

_“I know what you’re trying to say but do you not have even just a little faith in me?”_

_Tzuyu crossed her arms in front of her as she watched Jihyo pout from the foot of their bed as she stood in front of the older woman. Trying and failing miserably to remain firm in her choices. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to do it. Tzuyu wanted to but she was just anxious that maybe their neighbours would hear them._

_It was their first day after moving in at their humble apartment. It wasn’t much but it was all they needed. It was their home. Theirs. That thought alone made Tzuyu’s heart flutter._

_“Jagiya”_

_Jihyo was not making this easier for her. Not when she was staring at her with her big doe eyes. Red swollen lips. Wearing nothing but Tzuyu’s large white shirt as she delicately sat on her knees at the foot of their bed. Her long dark brown hair falling down her shoulders in gentle elegant waves as her bangs softly framed her forehead. Jihyo’s hair was dishelved from their previous deeds but Tzuyu thought she still looked picture-perfect. She couldn’t help but stare as her heart fluttered even more when she roamed her eyes around her girlfriend’s delicate features. The older woman’s eyes following the direction of her gaze. Jihyo knew Tzuyu was staring. With the sight of Jihyo’s megawatt smile, Tzuyu knew she lost the argument. Not that there was any argument to begin with considering she was just trying to stall._

_“Unnie can be quiet, Jagiya.”_

_Really, they both knew she couldn’t be quiet. Not when the older woman had speakers for lungs. But Tzuyu’s weak attempt for a dispute died in her throat at the sight of Jihyo rising slowly from the bed and innocently sauntering her way towards her. A playful smile still on her pretty face. Red little marks displayed proudly on her lover’s neck some of them turning purple. Tzuyu’s logic has officially left the building but she still made an effort to throw half-hearted arguments just for the sake of it._

_“Showers aren’t really a safe place for this.”_

_A small giggle erupted from her girlfriend’s mouth as she let herself be dragged in the direction of their bathroom. Tzuyu’s eyes never leaving the older woman’s as Jihyo decided to slowly walk backwards letting Tzuyu maneuver them safely towards their destination. Tzuyu’s hands now securely placed on both her girlfriend’s hips to guide her making sure she wouldn’t trip as well while Jihyo’s arms were now contentedly draped around Tzuyu’s neck._

_“You’re going to be twice as loud in the shower.”_

_Now standing in the middle of the bathroom, Tzuyu’s eyes still haven’t left Jihyo’s. The older woman started fiddling with the hem of the white shirt as she stared lovingly at Tzuyu’s dazed orbs._

_“Well then I guess you have to do something to keep me quiet, yes?”_

_She really didn’t know what the conversation was about anymore but Tzuyu nodded slowly as her gaze followed Jihyo’s hands as it raised the shirt slowly up her body._

Tzuyu chuckled to herself at the memory as she gazed at the checklist of rooms and furniture that they have successfully defiled in their apartment. Which was basically everything. They were young and in love. The giddiness in her chest didn’t last long as it was yet again drowned in misery. Remembering the reason why it all ended. With a heavy sigh, she turned the pages again. Reading anecdote after anecdote. Drowning herself more and more. Until she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her lungs hurt and the pain in her chest was physically unbearable. The anecdotes were written like a downhill spiral. It was light and happy in the first few pages but regressed darkly as it went on. Getting unbearably painful as the pages turned. Her memory hurling her back to each and every scenario as Tzuyu helplessly relived every single one.

It was like a movie, how every scenario replayed forcefully in her head.

_“Would you take pleasure and pride in becoming a poor woman’s lover? Barely even providing for you because I can’t become the idol that everyone expected me to be? Because I can’t stomach it. You deserve so much more.”_

_Her voice was broken and scratched from crying and arguing. Tzuyu heard how tired Jihyo was. Heard how broken her pride has gotten. But Tzuyu loved her. She loved her. Wasn’t that enough? Why couldn’t it be enough?_

_“I take pride in being_ yours _.”_

_She sounded equally broken. Tired. Yet firm as she forced the older woman to realize her point. That was enough for Jihyo to fall on her knees in the middle of their bedroom as a multitude of sobs wreaked her small fragile frame. Tzuyu immediately lifted the woman in her arms and gently deposited her on their bed. Wrapping Jihyo in a comforting embrace as she placed adoring kisses onto the woman’s little mole on the tip of her nose._

_It was one of their first serious arguments. This time it was because Jihyo did not want her to take on multiple jobs. The older woman having a hard time booking gigs and singing jobs causing their bills to suffer so Tzuyu suggested on the idea of her applying for a second job. She understood why Jihyo reacted the way she did. So Tzuyu really wasn’t mad at the woman. Jihyo was by far the most determined and responsible person she knew. Thus, earning the title of God Jihyo._

_So losing jobs and gigs and being unable to provide her share in expenses made the older woman feel inadequate. It made Jihyo feel useless and Tzuyu understood that completely. She’d feel the same if she was in Jihyo’s shoes. Tzuyu understood the emotions her girlfriend was having. It hurt her as well, seeing Jihyo lose control because of the weight of the world placed on her shoulders. The younger woman just wanted to help. To help her lover carry that weight. To help lighten the load even just a little bit._

_Yes, they still weren’t in a stable place right now. With Jihyo still trying to make her way into the entertainment industry and Tzuyu still trying to stand on her own two feet without the help of her family’s easy money. But she had faith that someday they’ll make it. Someday Jihyo will become an idol and she’ll hold her hand as the older woman conquers the world with her voice. Tzuyu would help her achieve that even if it meant working two jobs a day for now. She’ll gladly do it. For Jihyo._

_For Jihyo, she’ll do anything._

_Tzuyu rocked them gently as she heard Jihyo’s cries lessen now turning into tiny whimpers as the older woman buried her face against Tzuyu’s chest. She threaded her fingers between her lover’s tresses. Now a chestnut brown cut right below her shoulders. Her bangs still there. Jihyo looked more mature. Tzuyu placed soft loving kisses on the crown of Jihyo’s head as she felt her girlfriend grip onto her sweater tightly._

_“I love you, you know?”_

_She was greeted with puffy swollen eyes and trembling lips as Jihyo raised her head to look up at her. Tzuyu couldn’t help but coo at the sight. She smiled lovingly down at Jihyo and leant her head closer to nuzzle the little mole placed at the right side of Jihyo’s temple. Murmuring softly against her girlfriend’s soft skin as she heard Jihyo’s breathe hitch._

_“Ever since we were younger, you always took care of me. So this time, let me take care of you. Can you let me do that?”_

_Tzuyu didn’t wait for a response as she laid Jihyo gently on her back. Hovering above the whimpering girl as she nuzzled Jihyo’s temple depositing small kisses on her skin. Feeling quivering hands grip her sides as Tzuyu completely settled herself between Jihyo’s parted thighs. Tzuyu pulled back as she placed both her hands on either side of Jihyo’s head. Pressing her forehead gently against the older woman’s. Eyes locked. Listening to each other’s shallow breaths as Tzuyu felt Jihyo’s shaking hands wrap themselves on either of her forearms._

_“Will you still love me even when I have nothing else to offer? No riches. No fame. Nothing?”_

_Tzuyu pressed the older woman against the bed removing any space between them. Cutting off the apology Jihyo wanted to say. She moved her hands to interlace their fingers as she pressed their joint hands against the mattress on either side of Jihyo’s head again, now making sure to entrap her girlfriend under her. She felt Jihyo squeeze her palms gently._

_“I love you. Not your riches. Not your fame. Just you.”_

Tzuyu did.

She does.

Maybe that’s the part that hurt her the most because deep down she knew she always will.

Her hands quivered in her lap causing the journal to shake as well. She stared at the anecdote, a warm glow from the lamp illuminating the neat handwriting. Now blurry due to the tears she refused to shed. Tzuyu traced each word with the pad of her finger as she smiled as a familiar agony engulfed her like a wave once again. Now more forceful than ever. She took a shaky breath as she flipped the pages once more. Anecdotes of full length now reduced to one lines. Some two or three. Tzuyu furrowed her brows. There were no dates anymore. No particular timestamps.

_Hey you, I feel so sore. I feel so dazed. Like a puppet on a string. His string. It’s alright. When I’m dazed, I forget. Even just for a little while._

_Hey you, I love you still. Does it matter? I guess not. He said you wouldn’t care either way. Said he’d help me be something worth looking at. Will you look at me when he’s done?_

_Hey you, it’s been a month. Mina slapped me today. I deserve it. I know I do. I deserve all the pain._

_Hey you, I’m tired. Where are you? Did you sleep well? I didn’t. My head hurts. I feel sore. I feel like a doll. He calls me doll. Maybe because I am._

_Hey you, it’s been two months. I stopped feeling dizzy. Stopped feeling sore. Although he still calls me doll. It’s alright. As long as he doesn’t use me like one anymore, I guess._

Tzuyu froze. The silence in the room now deafening. Her hands quivered as she traced along the handwriting. She couldn’t quite decipher the meaning behind Jihyo’s vague words but she knew it wasn’t good. That’s when everything sunk in. her gut felt like it was constricting. She felt bile rise up her throat at the thought. There really was something more to this affair than what everyone else knew. Tzuyu doesn’t know what it is. But she was going to find out. One thing’s for sure. It wasn’t pleasant.

_Hey you, I won an award today. All thanks to your eyes, nose, lips. I kept my promise. Do you remember? I do. I’ll dedicate all my songs to you if I could._

_Hey you, it’s another morning. Did I tell you before that I hated mornings? I did, didn’t I? I told you before that I was starting to love them. Now, well now I hate it. Because you’re not the first thing I see anymore._

_Hey you, it’s our anniversary today. Do you remember? I do._

_Hey you, I saw you today. Your eyes. Your eyes stare back at me with an emptiness. Like it hasn’t ever seen mine before. Your nose, still as sharp as ever. Still breathing. That made me smile inside. Knowing you’re well. Your lips. I couldn’t help but stare at your lips. Would it still remember my touch? If I press mine against yours, will it still love me like it used to?_

_Hey you, you’re with Lia? Are you happy? You deserve to be. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to be happy, my love._

_Hey you, I transferred to JYPE. Lia speaks fondly of you. As she should. Why does it feel unsettling? Like something isn’t right. Maybe I’m just being irrational. Crazy, even. Because I can’t shake this feeling. The feeling that maybe someday, somehow, you’ll come back. Though my head tells me you never would. Maybe it’s time for goodbye? Or goodbye for now? That sounds right. Goodbye for now. For now. But before I bid us fair well, can I ask you a favour? Be happy._

_Hey you, I reread Great Expectations again. Charles Dickens really is something huh? I’m sorry the book looks so worn out now but I take good care of it. You know, I understand it fully. I understand what it’s like. To love someone against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be._

_Hey you, will you listen to my upcoming album? I hope you do. I hope you’ll like it._

_Hey you, I love you. Maybe this is the only way I can say it from now on. I love you. Not your riches. Not your fame. Just you. Do you remember, Jagiya?_

_I do. I remember._ She stared at the page as it turned from clear to blurry. Her chest was aching. Aching like it did two years ago. Maybe even more now. She couldn’t breathe. Was it normal for it to be physically excruciating? A shaky hand lifted itself and Tzuyu started pounding her shaky fist against her chest in desperation. Desperation to make it stop. Anything to make the ache stop. The silence now broken as the room filled yet again with tormenting sobs.

Just like that, Tzuyu crumbled.


	27. CHAPTER XXVII

The weather seemed good today. No clouds in sight. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. The breeze felt cool against her porcelain skin. A crowd of people cheering multiple names on the other side. Including hers. It was an outdoor promotional event for Chou Inc.’s mobile line. Ironically, all the mobile ambassadors were from JYPE. So Jihyo was currently seated backstage with ITZY as she watched the younger girls bicker about something of trivial matter. Stray Kids was beside them doing almost the same thing. All of them waiting for their turns to perform on stage with her being the last one. 

She just couldn’t find it in her to be as cheery as them. Her thoughts ever since a week ago has been revolved in finding her journal. To some, a lost journal would’ve been something insignificant. Easy to replace by just buying another one. Seemed like a simple problem right? Not at all a reason to lose sleep over. Jihyo, however, was another case. That journal was of great value. Sentimental value, even. More than any costly thing she’s bought or will ever buy in her life.

_“Are you that big of a push-over that you’d change your figure just because some agent told you she doesn’t like it?!”_

_“Jagi, their opinions matter. Please. Please try to understand.”_

_She couldn’t say anything else other than that as she let tears stream down her face. Her hands were shaking on her lap as she stared down at the floor of their bedroom. She’s never heard Tzuyu shout at her nor has she heard disgust drip from her girlfriend’s voice before. Push-over? That stung her more than she anticipated. The tone itself made Jihyo sob silently. Her shoulders shaking from the effort of concealing her cries as Tzuyu stood in front of her. Furious beyond belief._

_“This is too ridiculous! Not eating for two days, Jihyo?! Two. Days. Because of what? Because of the opinions of those agents?!”_

_Jihyo was sure her bottom lip was bleeding from how hard she was biting onto it. She understood the younger woman’s sentiments but she couldn’t help it. She has gone to multiple agents, multiple auditions and got rejected multiple times. All of them pointing out her weight, her height, her baby fat as they call it. Saying she wasn’t cut for the industry. Saying that idols cannot and will not look like how Jihyo does as of the moment. None of the comments even touched the topic of her vocals. None of them critiqued her singing. But it seemed like her appearance was the focal point of all their criticism._

_Maybe they were right. That she wouldn’t make it in the industry if she was too fat. She needed to lose weight. That was the only solution. She needed to be someone worth looking at. Someone worth admiring. Not just because of her voice. But because of her appearance. She has never felt like this before. Worthless. Insignificant. Jihyo was supposed to make it by now. Everyone believed in her talent. Everyone cheered her on. Saying that if anyone could make it in the entertainment industry, it would be her. God Jihyo. The ever so perfect God Jihyo. Unfortunately, they were all wrong. She wasn’t going to make it in the industry. Not when she looked like this._

_Slowly, Jihyo raised her head and looked up at the furious woman still towering over her. Her Tzuyu. She couldn’t help but feel adoration bubble in her chest at the sight of her. Like she always did. Tzuyu deserved so much. So much more than just living in this small apartment while working a 9 to 5 job with average pay. Jihyo wanted to give her everything. Everything the world could offer. Her Tzuyu deserved nothing but the best and Jihyo wanted nothing more than to give Tzuyu exactly that. Yet here she was, being rejected by companies and agents left and right because she looked ‘fat’._

_So she sat there, at the edge of their bed that Sunday morning, tears streaming down her face as she yet again refused to eat breakfast. Saying she was full. Saying she didn’t have the appetite. Tzuyu, bless her heart, was just so concerned and worried about her. Jihyo knew that. She couldn’t blame Tzuyu for feeling that way. She couldn’t say a thing. Couldn’t defend herself. Because everything that Tzuyu has been shouting at her was true. She did care about those agents’ opinions. She watched as her girlfriend started pacing in front of her. Irritation written all over her beautiful face. She has never seen Tzuyu this upset. Never heard the usually soft spoken girl say such hurtful words. When Jihyo didn’t respond, Tzuyu heaved a sigh of defeat before threading her fingers over her long dark brown hair._

_“I’ll be out. I think I need to calm down before I say something I regret.”_

_That caused her to stand up unsteadily. Jihyo didn’t think this was the kind of argument that Tzuyu needed to go out to calm down. They never had an incident wherein one of them needed to go away for a while. They never had to pause an argument and not immediately resolve it. It broke her heart further. Knowing she was the cause of all this. Jihyo stood there wringing her hands, heart aching as if someone was gripping it forcefully as she watched the younger girl pick out clothes from the closet and trudge towards their bathroom to change. A couple of minutes later, Tzuyu walked out of the bathroom in short denim jeans and a tucked in button up top as she picked up her small sling back that contained her wallet, keys and phone._

_“D-do you really need to go? I’m sorry. You should spend the weekends resting too. I-I can go instead if you want?”_

_It was barely 10AM but here she was ruining their Sunday morning. Her voice was hoarse and weary. Not something anyone would want to hear in the morning. She couldn’t help but place a shaking hand over her throbbing chest as Tzuyu ignored her yet again and slung the bag across her shoulders before turning and looking at her with pure disbelief in her brown eyes. Jihyo bit her bottom lip as it quivered at the sight of Tzuyu looking at her like that. Disappointed. Disgusted maybe? It hurt her. Pained her more than she could comprehend. They stood there unmoving for a while in the middle of their cold room. Jihyo looking small and fragile in nothing but Tzuyu’s large gray sweater that stopped just right above her knees, sleeves longer than her arms as it dangled covering her small delicate fingers. She could feel her tears well up again and agony overwhelm her when Tzuyu sighed before taking a small step forward and depositing a delicate yet hesitant kiss on her forehead. It was always a must for them ever since they started living together. A kiss before either one of them leave for the day. Tzuyu’s eyes softened as she pulled back. Gazing down at Jihyo with love and pain swirling in her wide puppy-like eyes. Jihyo couldn’t do anything but place a curled up fist on top of her mouth to stop herself from sobbing as she watched Tzuyu turn and leave their apartment for the rest of the day._

_Their apartment was humble in size. But without Tzuyu’s presence it seemed larger than it really is. It was silent, not the comfortable kind. Empty. Void of any warmth. Nothing else could be heard but Jihyo’s sniffles and cries throughout the day. She didn’t touch the breakfast Tzuyu cooked for her. Not having the appetite to even look at it. Not having the strength to halt her cries if ever she did take a bite. Instead she just drank the weird tasting green juice she bought in hopes of losing weight. Feeling like if she ate solid food she’d eventually vomit it out anyway. Jihyo sat on their bed for the whole day and didn’t move from her position other than taking a shower and getting juice. Opting to wrap herself with their blanket that smelled just like Tzuyu. Lavender. She didn’t do anything else but sit there, cry and wait for Tzuyu to come home. Apologies ready to spill out of her mouth. Ready to beg for the younger woman’s forgiveness._

_It wasn’t until the clock striked 8:00PM when she heard the front door open. She crawled towards the foot of the bed when she saw their bedroom door open slowly. Jihyo bit her lip at the sight of Tzuyu timidly closing the door behind her and stepping forward towards the foot of their bed where Jihyo was timidly perched on her knees. Both of them staring at each other with apologetic eyes. Tzuyu was an arm’s length away. She could raise her hand and touch her but Jihyo didn’t know if the younger woman would want to be touched bearing in mind how their last exchange ended. Jihyo was scared that maybe Tzuyu would push her hand away. Or worse. Tell her she’d spend the night somewhere else. She’s never slept without Tzuyu since the younger woman’s senior year in college and Jihyo couldn’t imagine spending a night without being wrapped in her arms anymore. The thought of it hurt her greatly. The unbearable ache hitting her again with another one of its agonizing waves._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Both of them whispered it out at the same time. Both pleading. Remorseful. Filling their small bedroom with the sorrow and longing dripping from both their voices. Jihyo’s eyes widened slightly as her heart fluttered form hearing her love’s gentle voice for the first time that day. She didn’t expect an apology from the younger woman. In fact, she fully believed that Tzuyu had nothing to apologize for. It was her fault._

_Jihyo raised a cautiously trembling hand towards Tzuyu. Their equally weary eyes locked together. Both trying to gauge each other’s emotional state. She desperately clung onto Tzuyu’s button up shirt feeling the soft fabric against her fingers. Jihyo pulled the younger girl towards her gently. Like a weight lifted off Jihyo’s shoulders, Tzuyu let herself be drawn closer towards the kneeling girl._

_The room was cold due to the sun’s absence as the moon took its place above, shining through their small bedroom window. Jihyo’s face lifted higher to gaze up at the tall girl as her hands desperately clung onto the sides of Tzuyu’s shirt. Feeling herself lose the little bit of control she hung onto as tears started trailing their way down her face making her eyes shine and glisten under the dim light of their bedroom. Tzuyu’s hands were placed on both her arms now, rubbing them softly before leaning down and pressing their foreheads gently together. Not having to lean down as much because Jihyo was kneeling on the bed. The tips of their noses touching ever so gently as their breaths mingled between them. It was tender. Loving. Their touches, no matter how small, always brought her comfort. This time was no different as a gentle whisper was muttered against Jihyo’s quivering lips._

_“You’re perfect. It irritates me that other people don’t realize how perfect you are, Park Jihyo.”_

_A multitude of emotions started hitting her all at the same time but one stood out among all of them. Love. Love for the younger woman whose eyes started tearing as frustration and adoration both overflowed from her voice. The grip on her arms were tight yet gentle making sure not to hurt her in anyway. It was like Tzuyu wanted to emphasize her delicate words. Like she wanted Jihyo to comprehend._

_“Let me show you how special you are.”_

_Tzuyu kissed her. Unlike the kisses they’ve had before, Tzuyu was leading them. Controlling the kiss and rendering Jihyo speechless. Unable to think about anything else but Tzuyu. Just Tzuyu. Always Tzuyu. Jihyo’s never seen this side of her, the assertive side. Especially in bed. Maybe because this time, Tzuyu was trying to get a point across and Jihyo was more than accepting to let the younger woman do whatever she wanted. Their kisses weren’t full of lust. It wasn’t hurried. Tzuyu kissed her deeply, her hand now situated itself at the back of Jihyo’s neck not allowing her to pull back unless Tzuyu lets her. Jihyo couldn’t help but get lost in her lover’s deep loving kisses as she let out a small whimper when Tzuyu tugged on her hair lightly. She felt Tzuyu trace the tip of her tongue on her bottom lip and let it slip inside Jihyo’s mouth as she whimpered once again. Letting their tongues mingle in a heated kiss._

_She groaned when she felt Tzuyu tug her hair back gently when breathing became a problem. Jihyo watched with half-lidded eyes as Tzuyu gazed at her knowing that Jihyo was becoming putty in her grasp. Tzuyu took the time to look at Jihyo. Lips parted. Breathing heavily as her lips turned swollen red. The hand behind her neck now placed on her hip securely as Tzuyu’s other hand cupped Jihyo’s cheek caressing her soft skin. Both their eyes locked together. Tips of their noses touching._

_“Believe me when I say that no one could compare to you, Park Jihyo.”_

_It was muttered against her swollen lips lovingly and Jihyo felt her heart pound against her chest before Tzuyu assertively lifted her gray sweater teasingly up her torso and dropping it on the floor. Jihyo shuddered as cold air hit her bare skin. She had nothing but a thin underwear on and Tzuyu pulled back slightly to stare at her naked torso. Jihyo couldn’t help but shiver at the intense gaze Tzuyu had on her. She felt so exposed. So bare. She couldn’t help but think. Does she look alright? Does she still look attractive even when the lights are on? Jihyo bit her lip hard at the thought as she felt ashamed of her body. She was about to cover her chest when Tzuyu gripped her wrists gently and gave her a soft reassuring look._

_“You’re beautiful.”_

_Her breath hitched at how Tzuyu said it so passionately. So she let Tzuyu pull her hands down to her sides once again as the younger woman started running her fingertips onto Jihyo’s collarbone. Goosebumps erupting on her skin at the gentle touch. The fingertips now traveling their way down and Tzuyu gently cupped her breasts in her hand eliciting a whimper from Jihyo. Her knees feel so weak now and Jihyo let out a series of helpless whines as she fell forward letting her forehead rest onto Tzuyu’s shoulder when she felt thumbs gently move over her nipples flicking them slowly._

_“J-jagiya” Jihyo couldn’t help but moan. Her hands now desperately clinging onto Tzuyu’s forearms for support feeling as if her knees would give out at any moment from Tzuyu’s gentle ministrations. Tzuyu laid her down gently against the pillows, Jihyo’s legs unconsciously spreading to accommodate Tzuyu as the younger woman kneeled between her parted legs. A broken whimper escaped her swollen lips again when Tzuyu grasped her legs and wrapped it around her torso, letting Jihyo’s core press flush against Tzuyu’s lower abdomen. Tzuyu’s hands were both planted on either side of her head and Jihyo desperately clung onto the sheets and closed her eyes when she felt Tzuyu grind into her purposefully giving her the friction she needed._

_“Look at me.”_

_Tzuyu was hovering above her. Voice commanding. Jihyo opened her eyes and stared into Tzuyu’s. Dark and loving. She bit her lip feeling a particularly hard grind coming from Tzuyu, her eyes threatening to close at the sheer pleasure from such little contact. Tzuyu pressed her forehead against Jihyo’s as she grinded against her steadily. Jihyo could feel her underwear soaking by the second and she couldn’t help but bite her bottom lip to restrain her whimpers. A cold palm caressed her cheek lovingly, drawing her out of her hazy mind as Tzuyu placed a soft peck onto her lips. Pulling back just as quickly before pressing their foreheads together once more._

_“Your eyes are so beautiful.” It was a gentle whisper against her lips before she felt Tzuyu pulling back and placing kisses on her eyelids._

_“Your nose is beautiful.” Another loving whisper before Tzuyu kissed the tip of her nose._

_“Your lips are beautiful.” Jihyo heard it muttered against her lips before it was captured in another deep kiss. A strangled moan escaped her lips when she felt Tzuyu reach down between them and rubbed a finger on her clothed clit. Jihyo grinded onto Tzuyu’s finger desperately, overwhelmed by the pleasure and love she was feeling. Overwhelmed by how dominating Tzuyu acted. So far from the shy and exploring woman she turned into whenever they made love. Another series of moans left her mouth when she felt Tzuyu place open mouth kisses on the side of her neck before latching onto a patch of skin and sucking and nibbling on it harshly making sure to leave a hickey for the world to see._

_Jihyo was a mess. Writhing beneath an assertive Tzuyu, heaving and desperately moaning Tzuyu’s name. She cried out in protest when Tzuyu completely pulled away. Brokenly grinding her hips up and being met with nothing when Tzuyu pulled her hand away from her heat as well. Her eyes didn’t leave Tzuyu’s as gentle fingers hooked against her underwear and pulled it off her legs completely. Jihyo could feel herself ache. Her bottom lip now entrapped between her teeth as she laid there spread open for Tzuyu’s eyes to see._

_“So perfect, my Jihyo.”_

_She groaned loudly, two long fingers sinking into her heat, filling her to the brim spreading her slowly. Jihyo threw her head back and shut her eyes closed as Tzuyu’s other palm squeezed her right breast, tweaking her nipple tenderly. The fingers inside her started to move. Pulling back slowly before slamming into her hard. Repeating that same pace over and over again as Jihyo felt herself writhe against the bed, legs spreading wider._

_“I told you to look at me, Jagiya.” Tzuyu’s tone was commanding. Jihyo cried out when Tzuyu slammed into her with three fingers this time. The feeling was so foreign. Tzuyu has never used three fingers before and Jihyo’s legs quivered at the effort of accommodating Tzuyu’s fingers. Spreading her out even more. She felt so full. Tzuyu was filling her so well now as she slammed into her deeply making sure to bury her fingers to the hilt before pulling back and slamming into Jihyo repeatedly. The hand on her breast squeezing a little harder. Her eyes flew open at the command. Shivering when she saw how intense Tzuyu was looking at her. A sob escaped her lips when she felt the hand on her breast travel its way down to her heat and started rubbing her clit slowly._

_A series of sobs escaped her lips. Jihyo felt so overwhelmed by all of this. Tzuyu has never handled her so expertly before with Jihyo always taking the lead. Now Tzuyu was on top and Jihyo was convinced that her love should always take the lead from now on._

_“So beautiful. So perfect.”_

_She felt Tzuyu angle her fingers, hitting Jihyo right in the spot. Her whimpers turned into loud moans as she struggled to keep her eyes opened and locked onto Tzuyu’s soft loving gaze._

_“C-Chewy, so good. You’re filling me up so good, Jagi.” Jihyo was babbling mess. Her body felt like it was on fire. The only thing she could hear was the mix of blood rushing to her ears and the lewd wet sounds of Tzuyu’s fingers slamming into her core. The room smelled like sex. The mix of lavender and vanilla now wafting around clouding her mind. It felt so good. Too good. It was so much pleasure, more than she ever had before yet she didn’t want it to stop. But it did. Jihyo cried out in desperation when Tzuyu halted all her movement yet still buried deep inside Jihyo’s heat._

_“C-Chewy please. Please move.” Jihyo whimpered helplessly but Tzuyu didn’t comply. The younger woman looked down at her lovingly yet placed a firm hand on her hip to stop Jihyo from grinding onto her fingers._

_“You’re beautiful.”_

_Her skin was flushed red. Her mind in a haze. The ache in her core now intense. She felt herself tightening around Tzuyu’s unmoving fingers as she bit her lip to stop herself from whimpering. Her chest fluttered wildly at the compliment. Tzuyu’s praise hit differently now as Jihyo laid naked on the bed, spread open and chest heaving. She was vulnerable under Tzuyu’s loving gaze. Vulnerably spread open by Tzuyu’s fingers still completely buried inside her._

_Tzuyu leaned down to press a sweet gentle kiss onto her swollen lips. Jihyo groaned into Tzuyu’s mouth when she felt the fingers inside her pull out. “Say.” Before slamming back into her roughly and pulling out entirely again. “It.” Jihyo moaned out loud after another deep thrust, feeling herself be filled to the brim again. Her eyes threatened to roll back but she stopped them making sure keep them locked into Tzuyu’s loving eyes._

_It baffled her. How Tzuyu could look so loving, sounded so loving but fuck her so rough at the same time. She cried in desperation once again when the fingers buried deep inside her stilled. Remembering the words muttered against her lips seconds ago, Jihyo whimpered it out against Tzuyu’s lips._

_“I-I’m beautiful” Jihyo uttered out shyly as she gazed deep into Tzuyu’s loving eyes. She saw the younger girl’s lips turn into a big tight-lipped smile, her dimples showing adorably on her cheek. Jihyo sighed against Tzuyu’s lips when she was pulled into a deep kiss. She felt so full. So loved. She felt cared for. Like she was someone special. Tzuyu made her feel special. Jihyo loved her for that. God, she loves Tzuyu so much._

_“Yes you are. You’re so pretty, my Jihyo.”_

_Tzuyu let her forehead rest against Jihyo’s, looking into her eyes adoringly. Jihyo cried out again when the fingers inside her moved. Rubbing against her walls lusciously. Jihyo felt like she was going crazy from all the pleasure. Tzuyu returning to her previous ministrations, right hand pumping her fingers into Jihyo harder now as her left hand travelled its way down Jihyo’s body once again to rub her clit in time._

_This time Jihyo felt at ease. Not feeling the need to cover her torso anymore. Because Tzuyu said she was beautiful. Because Jihyo believed anything Tzuyu would say. Because Tzuyu loves her. So Jihyo let the pleasure overwhelm her completely. Whimpering out Tzuyu’s name over and over again as Tzuyu fucked her into the mattress. Jihyo could feel the tip of Tzuyu’s fingers hitting her spot again as she jolted with every flick on her clit. Everything was so intense. It was so good. Tzuyu was too good at this._

_Jihyo’s hands flew up and cupped Tzuyu’s cheeks, pulling the younger woman down to press their lips together in a desperate messy kiss. She cried out against Tzuyu’s lips as she came again and again and again. Feeling pleasure wrack her body over and over as she whispered ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ against Tzuyu’s lips like a broken chant. Tzuyu pumped her fingers into Jihyo slowly, letting her ride her high out. Gently guiding her down from her high. Jihyo was so lost in pleasure but even in her hazy mind she could hear Tzuyu whisper back against her lips. ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’_

_A tired whimper made its way out her mouth as she felt Tzuyu pull out of her slowly. Jihyo had her eyes closed as she tried to even out her breathing. She felt herself being moved and placed onto Tzuyu’s chest as strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist. Jihyo lifted a tired hand and laid it across Tzuyu’s still clothed torso. Tzuyu reached for their blanket and moved it over their bodies. They stayed there for a while enjoying each other’s warmth as Tzuyu placed loving kisses onto Jihyo’s forehead._

_They didn’t know how long they’ve been there. A couple of minutes? Half an hour? It didn’t matter. Not when they have each other. Not when Tzuyu’s arms wrapped themselves lovingly around her waist. They stayed there pressed against each other. Letting the gentle thumping of their hearts fill their room. Warmth filled Jihyo’s chest again as it filled their whole apartment as well. It wasn’t until Tzuyu pulled back slightly to stare properly into Jihyo’s half-lidded eyes did they separate._

_“I got something for you.”_

_Jihyo couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle at the sudden childish glimmer in Tzuyu’s excited eyes. She nodded for the girl to go on and she let out a content sigh when Tzuyu pecked her lips softly before hurriedly going out of the room to probably fetch the item in their living room. She smiled softly when the younger woman slipped back into their room. A sheepish smile now plastered on her pristine face as she made her way towards the bed and sat beside Jihyo on her right._

_She couldn’t help herself when Tzuyu was being adorable like this. Which happened all the time. So Jihyo reached a hand up to grasp Tzuyu’s collar, bringing the younger woman down to connect their lips in a gentle unhurried kiss. She felt Tzuyu move her into a sitting position, blanket now dropped to her lap and exposing her naked chest. She felt the younger woman placed a light object on her blanket covered lap before Tzuyu’s right hand placed itself on Jihyo’s cheek. Time slowed every time they were together like this. An incessant fluttering made its way to her chest with each and every kiss Tzuyu places on her lips. Before they could get too carried away, Jihyo reluctantly pulled back and settled herself closer to Tzuyu’s side._

_A loving kiss was placed on her temple and she smiled shyly opting to turn her attention to the object on her lap. Her eyes sparkled at the sight. Like a child opening presents on Christmas Eve. It was a red journal. Beautiful in its simplicity. Soft to the touch as she lifted it to appreciate its entirety. One thing she shared with Tzuyu was their love of stationery materials. Jihyo knew she’d treasure and value this gift more so now that Tzuyu went out of her way to buy this for her._

_“I know it isn’t much but I remember when we sat by the Han River a couple of weeks ago. You told me you’ll start writing songs and I wanted to give you something to keep all your lyrics in. Its red, your favorite color. Not neon because I know you don’t like flashy shades. I also made sure that it’s covered in blended wool felt. Much softer than synthetic ones. The cover itself is sturdy so it’ll last longer than normal journals.”_

_Tzuyu mumbled against her temple. Voice unsure and timid. As she placed soft kisses on Jihyo’s skin. Jihyo’s eyes were glued to the precious journal in her hands. Her heart so full as she listened to Tzuyu’s sheepish voice explaining how she thought of the idea of buying her this wonderful present. The younger woman was incredibly thoughtful. Incredibly sweet and incredibly adorable. If it was possible, Jihyo felt herself falling even further for the younger woman. Jihyo let herself be pulled in between Tzuyu’s parted legs. Her back to Tzuyu’s front and the younger woman’s arms wrapped themselves comfortably around her naked waist as her body moulded against Jihyo’s. Tzuyu gently placed her hands on the journal and opened it as she peered over Jihyo’s shoulder._

_“I actually had it custom made. Went there a month ago. It took them a couple of weeks to make it red and have it covered in wool felt. Back in college I know you hated grid or lined notebooks. So it’s just blank pages. I realized when I went out that it was ready to be picked up this week. Good thing I checked the store earlier. I hope you write a lot of songs comfortably.”_

_Tzuyu’s hands were placed on top of hers. Both of them admiring the journal on her lap. Her attention to detail was endearing. Tzuyu was really charming and she couldn’t believe that she was hers. Each and every detail about this journal was carefully thought out in Tzuyu’s mind and Jihyo couldn’t help but turn her head to place a grateful kiss on her cheek. Tracing the underling of Tzuyu’s jaw with the tip of her nose. Jihyo turned her attention back to the journal in her lap as she flicked through the blank pages. Tzuyu gently placed her hands over hers once again and opened the journal to its last page. Jihyo watched as the younger woman lifted Jihyo’s hand in hers and traced her finger tip over Tzuyu’s neat handwriting._

_‘Love is the only thing that time cannot touch. A love I will carry from eons to oceans to inches, back to you. – Lang Leave’_

_Jihyo couldn’t help but smile. The quote was so fitting in their current situation and she knew that whatever argument or whatever misunderstanding that would come their way, they would always come back to each other. No matter how long. No matter how far they wander. Fate will always carry them back to each other. As Jihyo traced over Tzuyu’s neat handwriting she could feel her heart pound against her chest. She felt eyes on her and true enough, when she turned her attention back to Tzuyu, those brown eyes she loved so much was gazing at her with pure adoration that she devotedly reciprocated with one of her own._

_“Thank you, Jagi. I promise to keep it safe and full of songs soon.”_

_The sight of Tzuyu’s dimple made her heart flutter even more. Her heart feeling like it could burst from all this happiness and all thanks to this wonderful woman pressed flush against her back._

_“Why don’t you go shower and I’ll heat up food for us?”_

_It was charming. The way Tzuyu’s eyes became smaller, her dimple deepening as she smiled with pleased orbs directed solely at her. Tzuyu hurriedly made her way to the bathroom to freshen up at the prospect of dinner, knowing Jihyo hasn’t eaten for the day. She giggled at the younger girl’s eagerness as she placed the journal on their nightstand before plucking the grey sweater on the floor to cover her body and going to the kitchen to prep their dinner. The evening was pleasant. Domestic. Both having the appetite for dinner after reconciling. Not much was said between them. Just shy smiles and loving gazes. Giving each other loving kisses here and there as they ate, cleaned and Jihyo showered getting ready for bed._

_Before she knew it, her head was comfortably placed on Tzuyu’s chest, half her body on top of the younger woman’s as Tzuyu wrapped her arms around Jihyo’s small frame. The room was lit dimly with the gentle glow of their small lamp. Curtains drawn closed completely blocking out the rest of the world. Tzuyu’s lavender scent mixing pleasantly with her own vanilla scent. It was tranquil as they laid there content to feel each other’s gentle rise and fall with each breath they took. Tzuyu pulled slightly back to gaze down at her face._

_“You’re beautiful. Have I told you that lately?”_

_She watched as Tzuyu’s eyes gazed at her lovingly. Eyes glimmering against the gentle glow of the lamp. There was a tinge of playfulness in Tzuyu’s voice knowing very well that the last time she said Jihyo was beautiful occurred hours ago in this very same bed. Jihyo’s face reddened deeply at the attention she was getting and at the reminder of their earlier activities but before she could place a hand over her face, Tzuyu gently pulled her wrist down. The younger woman’s eyebrows furrowed adorably as her nose crinkled slightly._

_“I may not agree with the stupid opinions of those agents because I think you’re beautiful as you are. But I want to support you if it’s really important to you. Although will you please consider dieting in a healthy way? Not starving yourself intensely?”_

_Insecurities flooded her whole again at the reminder. But before she could drown in the awful memories, Tzuyu gently moved her so that they were now lying sideways. Sharing one pillow as they laid on their sides gazing at each other. Tzuyu’s arm around her waist drawing her closer. Her own hand placed on top of Tzuyu’s cheek. A gentle kiss was placed on both her eyelids, traveling down to the tip of her nose and a lingering kiss placed on her lips. In Tzuyu’s eyes she was beautiful and Jihyo was on her way to believing. She smiled bashfully before locking their soft gazes and letting the tip of their noses touch as she nuzzled it onto Tzuyu’s. Eliciting a soft giggle from the younger girl she loved so much. God, Jihyo loves Tzuyu so much._

_“Thank you for always making me feel special.”_

That journal represented so many things. When she felt disposable or worthless, she’d always look at that journal and think about Tzuyu’s words. She’d think about Tzuyu. She’d recall how special she felt. When she felt creative and nostalgic, that journal would be the first thing she’d touch. Making sure to write all the lyric ideas and lines in its pages. It represents a lot. Love. Creativity. Nostalgia. Self-worth, even. Most of all, it represented Tzuyu’s love for her.

A journal. Simple but meaningful. A journal where Jihyo could freely write anything and everything she wanted to express. Just like Tzuyu, she let Jihyo express herself and not pretend like she was someone perfect. To Tzuyu, she wasn’t the pristine God Jihyo who has to do everything flawlessly. To Tzuyu, she was Jihyo. Park Jihyo. Tzuyu’s Park Jihyo. That’s why the journal held such a special place in her heart.

She was brought out of her thoughts when the stage director started ushering ITZY towards the stage. She didn’t notice that Stray Kids were already done with their stage. From the corner of her eye she could see Mina approach her with a staff so Jihyo stood up to greet the Japanese woman with a deep bow which Mina reciprocated.

“Let’s get your in-ears ready. By the way, Sana-chan and the others are in the front row behind the steel barricades to watch you perform. I’ll be making sure everything is going well so I’ll be on the forefront of the stage.”

“Thank you for taking care of me, Mina.”

“Don’t worry. It’s my job. Another thing, Sana and Jeongyeon want to have dinner after this.”

Jihyo nodded at her and Mina stepped back and turned away to talk to some of the staff backstage as Jihyo fixed her in-ear. She took a deep breath and started warming up her voice. Even though this wasn’t a full blown concert she always wanted to make sure that every time she set foot on stage she’d give her best performance. Since all of the ambassadors are having their comebacks soon, JYP advised them not to sing their own songs for a while to let the fans anticipate their own music. Thus, the two groups and Jihyo were covering other artists’ songs. For Jihyo, she chose to do a cover of ‘A late night of 1994’ by Jang Hye Jin. She’s always been known for emotional songs so she thought this song was a perfect match for her singing style. Of course it was approved by their management as well so she felt confident.

Last minute preparations were going on and her stylists were crowding over her making sure she was picture perfect. Jihyo couldn’t help but feel a bubble of excitement in her chest. She coloured her hair and cut it recently for her comeback and this was the first appearance with her freshly dyed hair. It was red. Her favorite color. Her tresses cut a little under her shoulders. She hoped her fans liked it just as much as she did.

The moment her name was announced by the MC she stepped confidently on stage. Waving at her fans as they chanted out her name. She smiled her mega-watt smile at them and searched through the front row. Immediately waving at her enthusiastic group of friends who were all cheering her on. Just like she said earlier, Mina was in front of the metal barricade since she was the company’s executive. Beside her was Chaeyoung and Dahyun. Not that it was shocking to see the music producer, she was after all the producer who worked closely with both her and ITZY. What shocked Jihyo was the person sitting beside Dahyun. The Company President, Chou Tzuyu sat there looking up at her. There was a different look in her eyes. A look of pure wonder that was directed solely at her. Jihyo couldn’t understand why.

Her cheeks turned red as she felt nervous by the CEO’s presence. Having recalled their first argument and reconciliation didn’t help the fluttering in her chest. So she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She heard the music play and she raised her mic towards her lips. Jihyo sang. For the crowd. For Tzuyu.

**...**

The event ended around 5 in the afternoon. As expected it was a success and before she knew it she was in Mina and Chaeyoung’s large apartment once again helping Jeongyeon cook them a somewhat decent meal and simultaneously keeping an eye at Sana to prevent the girl from burning the expensive kitchen. Dahyun and Chaeyoung were both seated at the kitchen island talking aimlessly with Jeongyeon and Sana about something. Jihyo didn’t really pay attention. Nayeon and Momo were beside her both trying to help prepare edible food. Mina and Tzuyu went away for a while, both announcing they needed to change out of their work clothes. Everything was going by in a blur. She was sure her bottom lip was sore from all the biting she’s been doing for the past few days. All she could think about was where she could possibly have lost her journal.

Jihyo really felt so out of it to the point where Jeongyeon made her sit down instead. So she did, not wanting to argue with the short haired woman. Moving around the island and sitting beside Dahyun, Jihyo sighed heavily before turning her head towards the pale music producer.

“Dahyun, have you by any chance, seen a red journal in the studio?”

By now, her relationship with the pale woman was comfortably civil. They’ve been together most of the time, rewriting her lyrics, placing music over it, collaborating about the rhythm and little tweaks to make her songs better. Dahyun furrowed her eyebrows and crinkled her nose as she thought about it for a moment.

“The one you always bring right? No, I haven’t seen it in the studio today.”

Jihyo visibly deflated at that and shot the younger woman a small smile. All the other girls also said the same thing when she asked a couple of days back. Although they all just told her to just buy a new one, not fully understanding the value it held, Jihyo just nodded along with them. She felt awful. She promised Tzuyu long ago to keep the journal safe and she couldn’t even do such a simple thing.

**...**

Blended wool felt. It was soft under her touch. Much softer now that a couple of years has passed. She turned it in her hands. It would be easy. Just to hand it to Jihyo. She was in Mina’s apartment anyway. She could just walk inside, hand it to the idol without another word. She sighed as she ran her fingers onto the journal’s soft covering. Tzuyu knew it wouldn’t be _that_ easy. Handing Jihyo the journal would open a conversation she wasn’t sure she was ready for. She had so many questions. So many inquiries. So many things left unsaid. There really was no easy way.

The indignant part of her insisted on waiting for Jihyo to approach her first. Why should Tzuyu make the first move? She didn’t owe anything to Jihyo. Not a single thing. If she wanted to ask Tzuyu about a missing journal then she should approach first. If she wanted to set things clear and talk about the affair then Jihyo should initiate it first. Tzuyu was not at fault. She didn’t need to feel this anxious about the things she’s read inside this journal. But she did. She felt so conflicted.

The journal had a huge time gap in between. The journal had every significant moment in Jihyo’s life. Except one. The journal never mentioned anything about meeting Daniel. Never once did it mention anything about the man. Or about a CEO who owned an entertainment company. Nothing. It skipped that part. It skipped the part of meeting Daniel to having an affair with him. The next thing Jihyo wrote there was when Tzuyu had already left. When the affair was already exposed. Not once did it even mention Daniel’s name. Nothing of the sort. Why? Why would Jihyo omit those?

Did Jihyo have another journal solely talking about how lovely Daniel was? Did the man buy Jihyo another journal? Much expensive than the one currently in Tzuyu’s hands? She gritted her teeth and groaned in irritation at the thought. She had so many questions. So many issues unresolved. Tzuyu was trying to wrack her brain for any logical explanation to all of this mess. Trying to find a reasoning to the chaos in her mind. Her mind. That’s when she recalled her morning conversation with Nayeon days ago. Something that the eldest woman said hit her again. Something that has to do with her mind.

_“It creates explanations for questions that weren’t given proper answers.”_

Tzuyu’s shoulders deflated. Admittedly, Nayeon made a lot of sense and here she was catching herself doing the same thing she did all those years ago when she couldn’t comprehend something. Creating explanations because she wasn’t given proper answers. She felt her heart constrict. It wasn’t just because she wasn’t given proper answers. It was because she didn’t give anyone a chance to give her any answer. Period. She felt her head throbbing at all of this. A drink would be great right now but she pushed the need to grab a bottle of whiskey aside.

She couldn’t help but think that maybe it was time to find answers rather than make them. Ever since she started talking to the older girls one by one, she’s uncovered and answered more questions in her mind compared to the year she spent alone in Taiwan. After each and every conversation with them gave Tzuyu a sense of peace. Because she finally heard them explain after so long. Her mind went straight to one person in particular. The last one she hasn’t had a proper talk with after an unpleasant conversation months ago. Momo.

Damn Nayeon and her random bursts of wisdom. Speaking of the small devil, Tzuyu’s phone notified an incoming message.

_[6:30PM]_

_Chewy? Are you done getting changed?_

Giving one last glance at the journal, Tzuyu placed it on her bed before changing into tight black cycling shorts and her large gray cotton sweatshirt. Exiting her room and slipping into her Adidas slides, Tzuyu made her way down the elevator to Mina’s floor. There was definitely a huge advantage with being in the same residential building as her Unnie. 

“Dahyun, have you by any chance, seen a red journal in the studio?”

That was the first thing she heard as she entered the apartment. Tzuyu made sure not to interrupt the conversation and just made her way to the living room to sit beside her Mina Unnie who was currently on her phone. Turns out Jihyo was not aware that Lia took her journal after all. Somehow she wasn’t surprised. Anything that has to do with Lia did not surprise her anymore. Tzuyu felt irritation bubble inside her chest again at the thought of the young idol. Even at the earlier event Tzuyu made sure not to go backstage to make sure she wouldn’t come across Lia. She isn’t at the state where she could act professional in Lia’s presence so she stayed in front of the stage earlier just making sure the event flow was flawless. At this point, Tzuyu just wanted to rip her hair out from pure irritation.

Turning her head to the Japanese woman sat beside her, she immediately laid her head on Mina’s shoulder and interlaced their fingers together. A sweet kiss was placed on her forehead before Mina turned back to her phone and Tzuyu sighed as she deflated. Not noticing how Jihyo’s eyes kept wandering in her direction.


	28. CHAPTER XXVIII

Dinner was long gone. The night still young. The girls, mostly DubChaeng and Momo, scarfed everything down. They stayed in Mina’s apartment for a while just lounging around and listening to the others talk about work and other things leisurely. Jihyo was calm. As calm as she could possibly be considering she was still wracking her brain as to where her journal could be. Jihyo was seated at the far end of the couch not wanting to sit near her loud friends. Not that they annoyed her, it was just that she was not in the proper mind set to deal with their boisterous conversation when her mind was flying elsewhere. On the other hand, Nayeon and Mina disappeared more than half an hour ago. They all knew why. With Nayeon now in Tzuyu’s good graces, it was only mandatory for Nayeon to go through Mina as well. So no one bothered to ask or interrupt when Mina led an anxious looking Nayeon towards her bedroom. 

What the others didn’t notice was the jealousy and sorrow in Momo’s eyes when Nayeon followed Mina but Jihyo certainly did. Jihyo knew Momo has been wanting to patch things up with the younger girls and it hurt the Idol knowing the eldest Japanese woman could only watch as everyone slowly won the girls’ hearts. Momo was the only woman whom the younger girls haven’t even acknowledged the presence of. Not even a nod or a fake greeting. Just tense glances thrown at Momo’s way. Even Jihyo received a cold nod from Chaeyoung and Dahyun. Momo, however, did not.

So Jihyo sat there surrounded by all her friends. It took them 2 years to get to this point and she was eternally grateful that they had the chance to re-patch things between them. Even though Jihyo was not in any way forgiven by the younger girls, she was grateful that they let her join in. At least even just being in their presence, Jihyo could watch all of them interact. It always lightened her heart to see it. She stole a fleeting glance to her left. Tzuyu was seated on the single arm chair just watching the others bicker. Nodding lightly here and there but not fully engaging in the conversation. Jihyo always wondered what was running through Tzuyu’s mind. Always wondered what Tzuyu would say when the inevitable conversation between the two of them finally occurs. Would she shout at her? Would she slap her like Mina did? Would she even talk? All these questions swirled in Jihyo’s mind but ultimately she couldn’t quite place a solid answer to her multiple queries.

Her heart thumped against her chest painfully. Agonizingly so. Jihyo didn’t even know if she had the courage to tell Tzuyu the truth. She didn’t want to be pitied. Didn’t want Tzuyu to think she was someone of lesser value because of her past. But didn’t Tzuyu already think of her as someone of poor ethical ground? Would she be able to fully tell the truth? Would Tzuyu even look at her when she does? It terrified her. It terrified Jihyo to the point where she didn’t even tell her closest friends the whole story. Opting to bury everything in the back of her mind. Carrying its burdening weight on her own. Pushing it behind her back for two years. She deserved it. Jihyo knew she was the only one at fault. She didn’t want them to think she was playing the victim. That was not what ‘God Jihyo’ would do. Jihyo bit her lip in despair. God Jihyo. The teasing nickname her friends gave her in college was now the nickname her fans used to address her. It was a double edged sword to say the least.

Jihyo knew her fans didn’t mean anything bad by it. It was a compliment. A pet name of adoration. It pertained to her eagerness to grow as an idol. To constantly polish her skill set and showcase it on every stage she performed on. To her fans, God Jihyo was an idol of extraordinary talent. Pure vocals and skillful dancing. Always professional no matter the situation. Powerful. Flawless. Talented.

To Jihyo, it gave her extra burden and pressure to always appear flawless. To always put on her mega-watt smile even though she was crumbling inside. It gave her no space for error. No leeway to show her weaknesses or errors in front of the camera. Because God Jihyo was not supposed to have flaws. It was burdensome to a point but she learned to live by it. To live by the standards people set for her.

There was only one person who never put her on a pedestal. Never assumed she was flawless but instead loved her nevertheless. Jihyo stole another glance at her left and smiled solemnly to herself. Tzuyu. Chou Tzuyu never expected her to be anything but herself. Well, she never used to. Now, Jihyo wasn’t so sure. To Tzuyu, Jihyo was just an idol whom she worked with as a brand ambassadress. Maybe now Tzuyu just thought of them as mere strangers. Strangers who share history. A past that, surely, the CEO never wanted to remember. It was all Jihyo’s fault, she mused to herself. It was her fault for being someone Tzuyu doesn’t want to be around. Someone Tzuyu doesn’t want to talk even about. To even think about. Maybe to Tzuyu, Jihyo was just a part of her past she already buried away and her heart shattered at the thought. The only reminder Jihyo had of the old Tzuyu was the red worn out journal she always carried around. A piece of the good memories she shared with Tzuyu. A piece of their past that was now lost and she didn’t know where it is. Another wave of agonizing guilt hit her. Jihyo bit her lip hard and fiddled with the hem of her top. She really needed to find her journal.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the reappearance of a satisfied Mina and a somewhat trembling Nayeon. Despite the eldest woman’s quivering stance, she had on a small smile on her face. Jihyo assumed the conversation went well and before she knew it Dahyun has already pulled out a small amount of alcohol from Chaeyoung’s kitchen. Much to Mina’s dismay.

**…**

She could only shake her head in amusement the moment Dahyun insisted she had the highest alcohol tolerance out of all of them. The youngest knowing that was certainly not the truth. She recalled back when they were younger, her group of friends were admittedly loud and uninhabited but they always made sure to keep everyone safe. Opting to drink in one of their apartments rather than in public places. So Tzuyu wasn’t concerned that Dahyun used the success of today’s event as an excuse to ‘ _celebrate’_.

It’s been two years since they’ve been together like this. Civil. With almost everyone getting along. It was never a forgotten thought for Tzuyu, the fact that Mina, Dahyun and Chaeyoung must have missed the older women’s company. So she sat there content to just watch all of them interact and try to redeem their previously strong bond with each other as Jeongyeon started pouring a moderate amount of drinks for all of them. After all, they were all of legal age in their roaring twenties and definitely not struggling college students anymore.

A lot can really change in just mere months, couldn’t it? Tzuyu couldn’t help but think to herself. They all had history. Both pleasant and repulsive ones. Yet here they were, two years after everything that has happened. Here they were managing to pick up their broken pieces and trying to glue them all back together. 

Tzuyu roamed her eyes around the room. To Sana, whose smile never left her face ever since she arrived at the event earlier. Her Sana Unnie. Tzuyu smiled to herself. Yes, she was her Unnie once again. Hopefully, permanently this time around. To Jeongyeon, who immediately stepped up once again as her Korean mother but still trying to prove herself worthy of Tzuyu’s trust. She appreciated it. Jeongyeon would once in a while send them food in the office saying that Tzuyu should try and at least gain some weight. Her phone wouldn’t just notify her of business matters now, with the occasional text messages from Jeongyeon reminding her to eat something healthy.

To Nayeon, her Bunny Unnie. Tzuyu wouldn’t lie and say that Nayeon didn’t leave as much of a painful mark on her as Jihyo did. But she did. Nayeon hurt her almost as much as Jihyo. Almost. She was the eldest, wasn’t she? And Tzuyu was the youngest. So Tzuyu immediately assumed Nayeon would jump to her aid. Of course, she understood now. She understood why Nayeon chose to keep hush about the affair. Not that it still didn’t hurt her. It did but she understood. Tzuyu saw the effort in all of them and she was grateful. Each and every one of them went out of their way to plead for pardon.

Tzuyu moved her gaze towards Momo. Momo who has been walking on eggshells around her. As she should. The eldest Japanese woman, Tzuyu could still recall their unpleasant conversation back then. The cheap necklace she tugged from Momo’s neck still sitting idle in her bedside drawer. She hasn’t touched nor looked at it ever since. It pained her. Seeing that necklace brought her back to the days where she longed for a family in Momo and hoped that Momo treated her like one as well. Momo did. For a while. But Tzuyu still couldn’t wrap her head around the Japanese woman’s reasoning for betraying her like she did. It irked her just to think about it. Momo was not stupid. Despite everybody else assuming she was. To Tzuyu, Momo was highly perceptive thus being somewhat sluggish in reacting. To her, it was Momo’s way of carefully analysing the things around her. She always knew Momo was sharp and just liked to play up her languor. Tzuyu always wondered, did Momo know something the others didn’t? Or was she just being her impulsive self in choosing which one to side with?

That’s when she turned her head to her right. Park Jihyo. The familiar agony in her chest made itself known once again. Jihyo. Jihyo who didn’t look like she aged at all. Dare she say, Jihyo looked somewhat younger. Her red hair and fresh haircut now giving her a youthful glow. Rosy porcelain skin giving her an elegant appearance. Tzuyu felt the ache in her chest heighten. A forlorn smile made its way onto her face. Jihyo reached her dream. She finally made it.

Tzuyu recalled the event earlier. It was her first time watching Jihyo perform live in front of her fans. It was everything Jihyo dreamt of. It was everything Tzuyu dreamt for her. Everything the two imagined back when they were living in their small rundown apartment. The crowd chanted her name over and over again as the idol smiled her mega-watt smile and continued on singing letting the people hear just how stunning her voice really is. The sun casting a warm glow on her skin as the breeze gently threaded through her red hair. Park Jihyo, Tzuyu always believed, was meant to be on stage. She was meant to sing. Tzuyu watched as Jihyo melted the hearts of everyone in Korea and she was happy. That was all she wanted. That was all her old naïve self wanted. For Jihyo to be happy. For Jihyo to live her dream.

Even if the old Chewy wasn’t by her side. Tzuyu thought to herself, maybe she was just a stepping stone? A phase Jihyo needed to go through so that she could meet the man that would make all her dreams really come true. Maybe she was just someone who needed to bring Jihyo into Daniel’s path after all?

Fate really isn’t so kind to her.

It really was true, the things elder people say. How the ones you love most would hurt you the worst. Jihyo knew what would hurt Tzuyu and yet she still did it. Of course being God Jihyo, the idol did it perfectly. Too impeccably perfect. The hurt Tzuyu felt two years ago still pained her to this day. Still kept her up at night. It changed her into who she is now. Cunning, cold and always grasping for control. Tzuyu would be lying if she said she didn’t want to drink and find another warm body to fuck for the night. She did. She fucking did. But after two years of the same repetitive routine to pass the evening, Tzuyu knew that sex and alcohol could only help her forget for a little while. There was no escaping the pain Jihyo caused her. No escaping the memories she left in Tzuyu’s mind. After two years of running. She was back where she started. Back here in South Korea. Back here with Jihyo.

Dahyun approached their side of the living room, offering Tzuyu a drink which of course she immediately accepted. Her Mina Unnie was here anyway and that gave her a free pass on drinking whatever the elder women would let her drink. She sipped from the glass given to her. Scotch. Her Dahyun Unnie really knew her taste in alcohol. Her eyes followed the pale music producer who was now handing Jihyo a glass of her own. A tequila sunrise. Tzuyu looked around. She was the only one who had a stronger alcoholic beverage. Her eyes snapped back to the idol on her right when she heard her stutter out a polite yet shaky refusal.

That was rather odd.

Jihyo had one of the highest alcohol tolerances in their group. Back when they were younger, when someone couldn’t take a shot anymore, the drinks would always go to Jihyo or Jeongyeon. Tzuyu knew this for a fact since she didn’t drink a drop of alcohol before so all her drinks were given to Jihyo. Maybe she was taking care of her health? That made sense to Tzuyu. Jihyo was an idol now. She couldn’t just drink whenever she wanted to. Dahyun retreated back to her spot beside Mina and Tzuyu saw everyone talk leisurely. Her eyes snapped back to Jihyo. Like it always did.

She knew that behavior. Tzuyu saw it whenever Jihyo was uncomfortable. So it bothered her when Jihyo started gnawing on her bottom lip harshly. She then moved her gaze down, Jihyo was fiddling with the hem of her top. Tzuyu furrowed her brows in confusion. There was something wrong but before she could say anything, Momo pulled Jihyo up from her seat and excused themselves saying they needed to go buy something downstairs. None of the girls protested, not finding anything out of the ordinary. Momo always needed more food whenever they drank alcohol saying it kept her sober longer. The elder women just gave Momo and Jihyo a nod before going back to their conversation but Tzuyu knew there was something odd about it.

**...**

The cold night air felt good against her burning skin. She closed her eyes tight trying to drown out the chaos in her mind. It would always come up in the most inconvenient of times and this was the worst time it could’ve happened. Her sight was blurry. Her breathing ragged. She felt a firm grip on her shoulder pushing her against the building wall so that she could try to stand upright. Her knees felt weak. Her hands were cold and numb. She knew this feeling. She’s felt it before. Multiple times. An anxiety attack.

Warm hands held onto her cold ones. Squeezing them gently and massaging her quivering palms lightly. Momo. The Japanese woman pulled her away. Jihyo leaned forward, burying her nose into Momo’s shoulder. Her hands now gripping Momo’s jacket.

“Breathe with me, okay?”

It was tender and in the chaos in her mind, Jihyo heard her. So she tried her best to breathe. Slowly. In and out. Just like what Tzuyu told her to do when she got nervous before auditions. In and out. Slowly. Just like Tzuyu used to say. Momo rubbed her back gently. Jihyo felt herself slowly gain control.

“You have to tell us soon, Jihyo-chan. What is it? What’s been triggering you like this?”

Jihyo shook her head. Nose still buried in Momo’s soft jacket. She smelled like mint. Not the strong kind that never fails to leave her dizzy. Momo’s minty scent was somewhat subdued. Jihyo took comfort in Momo’s gentle hold and let herself be wrapped in the Japanese woman’s embrace. Momo always did this. Puling her away whenever she could see that Jihyo was not in a good state.

“Nothing. I was just stressed out, is all.”

She heard Momo sigh. A sigh of defeat Jihyo knew all too well. It wasn’t the first time Momo asked her about it. It wasn’t the first time Momo helped her through an anxiety attack. Each and every time she did, Jihyo would insist she was just stressed. That the pressure of being in the limelight was just too unbearable to handle at times. Each and every time, Momo would begrudgingly let it go. The older girl pulled away and helped Jihyo fix herself to make her look presentable. Erasing all the evidences that the idol just broke down outside the building. Jihyo forced a small smile and looked up into Momo’s concerned orbs. It was a smile she’s polished throughout the past two years. A smile saying ‘please let it go’. Much to her luck, Momo just heaved a sigh and hooked their arms together as they walked back into the building and made their way up the elevator.

What greeted them the moment they stepped out of the elevator wasn’t a sight she was expecting. It was Tzuyu. Leaning against the wall beside Mina’s apartment door. Seemingly waiting for them to return. Tzuyu had her eyes downcast staring at the floor in front of her, arms crossed against her chest. Jihyo felt Momo tense beside her as they walked closer.

“Daepyo-nim?” Jihyo uttered with all the strength she could muster not to stutter. Her voice came out gentle but still somewhat stable and she almost let out a sigh of relief.

Tzuyu turned her head and zeroed in on her. Jihyo was rooted on the spot. Tzuyu was always so keen in observing the people around her. Back in college the older women always teased her about having a staring problem but Jihyo knew it was just Tzuyu’s way of analysing things. Being estranged in a foreign country with a different culture compared to Taiwan, Tzuyu always found it hard to blend in. Jihyo knew this which is why she was always right beside the younger woman back then, ready to answer her questions about Korean customs and foreign words that Tzuyu might not have understood. Rather than speaking, Tzuyu chose to watch carefully. Thus picking up on even the most subtle things that others wouldn’t have even caught on.

She prayed that Tzuyu just wanted to get away from the chaos that was probably happening inside Mina’s apartment thus making her way outside. Jihyo felt like fate once again decided to put her on the spot as she watched Tzuyu stand there, eyes scrutinizing Jihyo’s face. Momo tried to pull Jihyo closer to her side and that just made them even more suspicious. It was like getting sniffed out by a wolf. Tzuyu turned her head towards Momo and looked at their tightly hooked arms.

“Can I talk to Miss Park?”

Jihyo’s eyes went wide. Her ragged breath came back and blood rushed to her face. There was an unspoken tension in the hallway looming over them. Momo turned her head towards her. Eyes probing. Jihyo just finished breaking down minutes ago and the older woman wasn’t so sure Jihyo was ready for a conversation this heavy. Jihyo felt Momo stare at the side of her skull but she didn’t look back. Jihyo’s eyes fixed onto Tzuyu and the calm yet domineering air surrounding her tall frame.

The idol stared at Tzuyu. Still wide eyed. But determined and grateful that Tzuyu would even want to talk to her. She stared at Tzuyu’s poised demeanour. How her eyes hardened as she asked Momo. It didn’t sound like a question. Tzuyu’s tone gave Momo no space for argument. She wanted Momo to step aside. It sounded like a command. So Jihyo turned to look at Momo as she pulled her arm away from the Japanese woman. Jihyo gave her a small smile and a curt nod. Saying it was okay. Saying she was going to be fine. If Tzuyu finally wanted to pour out her anger at her tonight then Jihyo deserved it. Tzuyu deserved to lash out. Especially to her. Jihyo owed her that. She owed her more than that even.

With a weary nod, Momo left her there in the foyer and entered Mina’s apartment. Jihyo turned her gaze towards Tzuyu who now looked at her with a curiosity in her eyes. She didn’t talk. Her posture firm. Hands clasped behind her back as she towered over Jihyo’s small frame. It was silent for a while both of them trying to figure out what the other was thinking about. Before Jihyo could initiate a conversation, Tzuyu walked past her and made her way towards the elevator. It didn’t take them too long before it opened up and Jihyo timidly followed the taller girl inside. She could hear her blood pump in her ears, feel the thumping in her chest and the way her hands went cold again as she clasped them in front of her. Jihyo could only assume that Tzuyu was taking her to the penthouse. She’s never been to the top most floor before. Only having the privilege of visiting Mina’s apartment and never Tzuyu’s.

So when the CEO opened her double doors for her, Jihyo stood in the middle of the living room as her eyes roamed around. It was spacious. Too spacious for someone who lived alone, she mused. The living room was situated in the middle, the open kitchen and dining to her right and what she could assume was the bedroom located on her left. It was monotone. White, gray and black furniture. The open floor plan gave it a much more refined look. She heard the door close behind her and Tzuyu’s soft footsteps come closer.

“I believe I have something of yours.”

Jihyo felt her heart drop. She was sure Tzuyu was going to give back everything that Jihyo gave her all throughout their relationship. That was a mandatory tradition wasn’t it? When two people break up for good there was no use in keeping things they gave you or things that remind you of them. So they either throw it out or give it back. Jihyo watched as Tzuyu turned to the direction of the bedroom. She felt a lump in her throat forming uncomfortably. Jihyo never threw out the gifts or clothes Tzuyu left. She still had every single thing Tzuyu gave her. Would she want them back or tell her to throw it all out? If Tzuyu told her to give it all back, would she? Jihyo didn’t think she could.

It didn’t take long for Tzuyu to come back. Now barefoot as she stood in front of the idol with a hand behind her back. An air of power still surrounding her tall frame even though she was wearing comfortable clothing. Eyes bore into hers like daggers. Like Tzuyu wanted to figure something out. When a red worn out journal made its way to her line of sight, Jihyo knew why she looked at her that way.

“I found it in Lia’s bag. Figured you might want it back.”

Jihyo didn’t know what to say. Her eyes have never left Tzuyu’s. A cold shiver ran up her spine as she raised a quivering hand towards her journal only for it to be pulled back behind Tzuyu’s back.

“T-Tzuyu” It came out weak. Barely above a whisper. But she knew Tzuyu heard her when her eyes hardened even more. Did she read it? Or was she just mad because Jihyo still used it?

“I thought this could help me. I thought it’ll answer all my question as to why you did what you did.” Tzuyu’s voice was low as distress dripped from every word she uttered out. Like a silent growl filled with pain and anger. Jihyo stood there as she watched Tzuyu’s eyes burn through her nervous orbs. Unable to mutter anything out. “But it didn’t. It confused me more. It gave me even more questions.”

Tzuyu scoffed before pulling the journal out from behind her back. Fiddling with its worn out pages in front of Jihyo as she stared at her with anger now more evident in her eyes. “Why didn’t you write anything about him here? Did he give you a much more expensive journal for you to write in?”

“No.” A scared whisper made it past her lips.

“I see. Maybe you were too busy fucking him in our apartment to even bother, am I right?”

Jihyo knew it was coming. The harsh words. The rage in her voice. The confusion and pain in her eyes. She knew she would have to face it eventually but no amount of preparing could shield her from the agony it caused her to experience it. She raised a shaky fist and pressed it against her quivering lips in hopes of barricading in her sobs. Her vision now blurry as tears streamed down her heated face. She couldn’t say anything so she shook her head in desperation.

“It was funny to me how long the list of our furniture and rooms were written here. The checklist of things we defiled. Did you recheck all of them when you two fucked behind my back? Hmm?”

“I-I never had sex with him in the apartment, Tzuyu. Please belie-“

“Bullshit!” Jihyo flinched when the journal was thrown harshly on the couch beside them. Her body felt so weak under Tzuyu’s irate eyes. She wrapped her free arm around her waist as an attempt to curl into herself. Tzuyu has never been the violent type. Never raised a single finger at her. So seeing the younger woman throw the journal scared Jihyo immensely. The fist against her mouth rendered itself useless as her sobs broke out. Her shoulders were shaking from the sheer effort of reigning in her cries. It was true. She wasn’t lying when she said that she never let Daniel touch her in their shared apartment. Never.

“T-tzuyu, please believe me. I could never do that.” Jihyo struggled to even mumble the words out. The sheer effort of not completely breaking down and let sobs wrack her body rendered it hard for the idol to speak coherently.

“You can’t fuck him in our apartment but you can fuck him elsewhere?!” She flinched once again from the harsh shout directed at her. Taking a shaky step back when Tzuyu took several steps forward to further dominate Jihyo’s small frame. She was afraid.

“Was I not good enough for you? Was it because I was so inexperienced back then that you had to find someone better to get you off properly?” In the back of her mind, Jihyo knew that the younger woman would never raise a hand on her but she couldn’t help but feel petrified by Tzuyu’s stance. After all, she did deserve it if ever Tzuyu decided to manhandle her. It wasn’t the first time Jihyo’s been jostled around like a ragdoll but it was never by the hands of Tzuyu. Maybe tonight would be that night, she mused. She deserved it. She owed it to Tzuyu, did she not?

“No. It was never about that.” She whimpered. Her eyes now wide and pleading as she let her tears fall freely down her face. 

“ _Then why?_ Why wasn’t I enough for you?” Jihyo choked out a sob at the sight. Chewy. Now with a single tear drop traveling its way down the younger woman’s unblemished skin. Her voice cracked as it softened to ask Jihyo desperately. _Why_? Jihyo saw Tzuyu’s eyes tear up in front of her. She saw how her brown orbs brimmed with tears. Jihyo saw them soften as it replaced the rage with utter agony letting Jihyo see just how broken Tzuyu really was. How broken Tzuyu still is.

“ _I_ wasn’t the person _you_ needed me to be.” In and out. She needed to breathe through her tears. In and out. Slowly. Just so she could properly utter everything out before she breaks down into another wave of tears again. “I watched you come home every night. You were so tired. Working two jobs just to pay for our bills that I should’ve paid. I wasn’t someone who could support the both of us yet. We’d argue so much and I could see you getting exhausted from all of it. I watched you get exhausted of _me_.”

“Pathetic. You’re pathetic. What was it that you wrote?” Tzuyu choked out between her silent whimpers. The younger woman leaned down to pluck the red journal from the couch beside them. Flipping it towards the page she was referring to. Jihyo could only watch.

“Ahh, ‘ _Would you look at me when he’s done?’”_ That’s when she lost it. The single thread of control she desperately held onto now lost from her grip. Jihyo recalled everything. Every single thing that led her to that question. She took a shaky step towards Tzuyu. She wanted to ask it in person. But something stopped her. It was the blatant disgust in Tzuyu’s eyes. Tzuyu misunderstood the question. 

“Done what? Done fucking yo-”

“Using me.” It was barely above a whisper but it stopped Tzuyu’s sudden uproar. Jihyo knew she had no other choice. It was time. Tzuyu deserved to know. Tzuyu wanted answers and Jihyo was determined to give her exactly that. She bit her lip hard, looking at Tzuyu’s suddenly wide curious eyes stare intently at her. Jihyo felt fear engulf her body. Shakily, she wrapped her arms around her torso to try and ground herself long enough to explain.

“What did you say?” Tzuyu’s voice was soft now yet probing. She could tell that Tzuyu was caught off guard. The younger woman’s shoulders dropped from its tense position as she took a step closer to Jihyo wanting to hear her clearly. In and out. She needed to breathe to get through this. In and out. Slowly. Just like what Tzuyu used to say back when she would get nervous before an audition.

“Would you still look me the same? Now that he’s done u-using me?”

_Slowly. In and Out. Just like what Tzuyu would say. In and Out. Jihyo closed her hands into fists digging her nails into her palms she was sure would leave crescent moon shapes later on. That didn’t matter right now. All she had to do was breathe slowly. In and Out. It will all be over soon, she hopes. She can go home soon. Go home to Tzuyu. Her Tzuyu. If she just keeps her eyes closed it’ll be over soon._

_All she could remember was going down the stage and taking a sip of her drink she left to calm her nerves before the next set she had to sing. It wasn’t even alcohol. It was a glass of warm water. Good for her throat. Yet the moment she stepped down the stage after the set, she felt as if the wind got knocked out of her. Her knees immediately buckled under her as a firm grip slithered around her waist dragging her backstage into the depths of the dark office. Here she was. Laying helplessly under him. In and Out. Just breathe. In and Out. Like what Tzuyu would say._

_Tears kept streaming down her face as she felt an unpleasant pain between her legs. It was burning. Like ripping her apart. Was she bleeding? It felt like it. A hand held both her wrists atop her head forcing her to stay in position. Another rough hand was gripping her thigh open. Fingers digging into her soft supple skin. Not that force was needed. Jihyo couldn’t move. She laid there defenseless as she was forced to watch herself be abused. She couldn’t scream out. She couldn’t push him off. Her limbs felt like jelly. She was panicking. Her eyes frantically roaming around the dark expanse of his small office even though everything seemed to be spinning. In and Out. Just breathe slowly._

_Was no one there to help her? Even if she could scream out, would anyone be able to hear? A dark chuckle was heard above her. He sounded so amused. Like he found all of this highly entertaining. Her blurry vision now making out the features of the bar owner she worked for. Daniel. Jihyo could make out the smug grin on his face as sweat started to form on his forehead. Jihyo could feel his grip tighten on her wrists as he leaned down, his other hand now gripping her jaw tightly to force her face to turn sideways. Her cheek pressing against the leather couch. His hot breath now hitting her exposed ear as he leaned down. She didn’t like this. She was petrified but she couldn’t move an inch. In and out. Just breathe slowly. Just like what Tzuyu would say. In and out._

_“Don’t worry, Doll. I’ll make you feel good. I bet you haven’t had dick this good huh? Im much bigger than that girlfriend of yours who couldn’t even come to see you sing. Tsk tsk.” It was painful. An excruciating pain tore its way through her center. Jihyo couldn’t do anything but whimper in pain. The hot tears now travelling freely down her skin and dripping onto the leather couch beneath her. The tight grip on her jaw now gone as the offending palm made its way to her right breast squeezing it so forcefully. Her wrists were still held together above her head even if she couldn’t move if she wanted to, his left hand was still constricting her wrists together._

_Was it possible to have an anxiety attack during an assault? She guesses it is. Her breathing was ragged. Too irregular for her to breathe properly as her chest heaved desperately trying to inhale. Her eyes even more hazy and her mind running a thousand miles per second. She was trying so hard to make her limbs move. Trying to command her body to do something. Anything. She wanted to yank her hands free. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry out in pain. She wanted to close her legs tight. She wanted to cover her chest from his hands. She wanted to run home. Jihyo just wanted to go back home to Tzuyu. With Tzuyu she was safe. With Tzuyu she was loved. In and out. She needed to breathe through this anxiety attack. In and out. Slowly. Just like what Tzuyu would say._

_“What would she think hmm? You think she’d care that you’ve been spreading your pretty thighs for me? Bet you she wouldn’t.” Jihyo closed her eyes shut. Tightly. Maybe when she opens it again it would all just be a horrifying dream. His breath was fanning over her lips. He was too close. Whispering against her quivering lips like he was impelling her to believe each and every single word he’d say. His voice was dark with a tinge of amusement dripping from his tone. Daniel was rough and commanding. It wasn’t like Tzuyu’s voice, so tender and loving. Letting Jihyo know she was loved and appreciated. His hands were too big, too callous and too harsh. He handled her like a toy. Like Jihyo was his own personal Barbie Doll._

_She didn’t want to feel his hands on her. They were nothing like Tzuyu’s, so gentle and sweet as they touched her with so much respect and so much love with even the smallest caress. Tzuyu’s touches made her feel safe. A wave of hot tears poured down her face again at the thought. A scream wanted to break free from her numb lips as rough hands spread her thighs even wider. In and out. Slowly. She needed to breathe through this and it will all be over. In and out. Just like what Tzuyu would say._

_“She’s just with you for pity. She just feels bad for you like all your other friends. You really think she’d even look at you when she learns you’ve been used by someone else? You’re mine now. Whether you like it or not.” He chuckled darkly but Jihyo still didn’t open her eyes not wanting to see his face more than she has to. She was so petrified. She shouldn’t believe him. It was all lies, wasn’t it?_

_Tzuyu loves her. Not her riches. Not her fame. Just Jihyo. Right?_

_“Don’t worry. Just be a good doll for me would you? Be a good doll and i’ll make you a star. An idol.” She wanted to move away from his lips that were now planting open mouth kisses on her neck. It was disgusting, the way his tongue would lay flat on her skin. Jihyo wanted to flinch away. She hated this. She hated how her body was immobile under his grip. Yet she couldn’t do anything. Jihyo could only lay there, drugged out of her mind. She could feel the blood pumping in her ears as the panic she felt heightened with every harsh thrust he made inside her. “You’ll be my own personal Barbie. I’ll advertise you like one. A singing Barbie doll. Korea’s going to love you.”_

_“Cause that’s what you are. A Barbie doll.” Maybe that’s all she could ever be. Someone people could use. A doll. Singing and dancing for their lustful eyes to see. Letting people control her and tell her what to do. Forcing herself to physically change so that they’ll notice her. Were idols like this? When she debuts as one, would she still be like this? Living to always please other people? It wasn’t a secret that behind the glitz and glamour of the entertainment industry was a dark and dirty culture. In and out. She needed to breathe through this and it’ll be over soon. In and out. Slowly. Just like what Tzuyu would say._

_Jihyo could feel how sore she was. She could feel how her thighs trembled and her core throbbed painfully. She could feel her throat burn from the desperation to scream in pure agony. Yet none of that mattered. She could only think of one person. Her Tzuyu. Her sweet gentle Tzuyu. What would she think of her now? Now that she’s been used and marked by someone else. She thought to herself, after Daniel was done with her and done with debuting her as an idol. When all has been said and done and when the younger woman finally learns the whole truth that she’s been used as a worthless pathetic sex toy against her will._

_Would Tzuyu still love her the same?_

Jihyo didn’t know when her knees gave out as she gripped her chest failing miserably to reign in the anguish from the sudden rush of memories that she recalled. Her body physically and emotionally drained and shattered from just retelling the awful memory she desperately wanted to forget. Jihyo felt the carpeted floor under her palm that was keeping her body from fully falling forward. Her knees were hurting, it seemed like she dropped her weight down abruptly. She was on the floor, knees planted shakily on the carpet as her right hand propped her weight from dropping. Her torso leaning forward as she let her tears fall onto the expensive carpet of Tzuyu’s living room. After two years, here she was. Finally where she desperately wanted to be. On her knees, in front of Tzuyu. Begging for forgiveness as she whimpered out in between her heavy cries of agony. _‘Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry.’_

Under all of the anguish that wracked her small frame, Jihyo felt relieved. Tzuyu deserved to know what happened and Jihyo provided her with the entire unadulterated truth. Her right arm was starting to give out as well, threatening to let her body fall forward as her vision became darker and darker by the second but before she could fully collapse, a shaky yet firm grip held onto her shoulder. Pushing Jihyo’s body backward until her torso leaned itself back against the couch behind her. Body moving on its own accord as she shifted her weight to fully sit on the floor. The hand on her shoulder still gripping on tightly yet not enough to hurt her but enough to ground her as Jihyo still desperately gripped onto her chest in pure anguish.

“Breathe, Jihyo. In and out. Slowly. Just breathe.”


	29. CHAPTER XXIX

Wasn’t she supposed to be elated? Wasn’t the sight in front of her something she longed to see? Park Jihyo on her knees, a hand curled desperately clutching her heaving chest as she begged Tzuyu for forgiveness. Isn’t that what she always wanted?

So why is Tzuyu sinking onto her knees as well? Why does she feel a couple of tears flow down her crimson face at each agonizing whimper Jihyo released? Why does her chest constrict painfully at the sight of the idol looking so broken? And as she reached a shaky hand forward to gently guide the idol’s body backwards, why did Tzuyu feel the urge to just pull her forward and gather Jihyo’s trembling frame in her arms instead?

A cold shiver ran up her spine. A blinding rage threatened to cloud her judgement. She had half a mind to run out of the penthouse and wrap both her hands around that poor excuse of a man’s neck until Tzuyu sees his eyes roll back into his maliciously foul skull. Her hands trembled in anger and as she raised her right hand to gently push Jihyo’s trembling body against the couch behind her, Tzuyu suddenly didn’t want to see her cry anymore. No one, Male or Female deserved to go through what Jihyo went through in silence.

“Breathe, Jihyo. In and Out. Slowly. Just breathe.”

Her hand never left Jihyo’s trembling shoulder. She needed reassurance that Jihyo wouldn’t suddenly vanish into thin air and then wake up to know this was all a dream. Maybe that was a better scenario. To know that Jihyo being abused was all but a horrific dream. But as she slowly dropped her weight onto the carpeted floor, Tzuyu knew it was all real. Jihyo was real. Jihyo was leant back against the couch trembling as she drowned in the horrid memories of herself being abused as she profusely apologized to her in between agonizing whimpers and Tzuyu could do nothing but ground the idol as she squeezed onto the older woman’s shoulder. That irked her. It pained her to know that she couldn’t do anything now that two years have passed. Nothing that she’d do now could ever take away the agony Jihyo has been through. She couldn’t do anything but sit in front of her. Telling her to breathe. In and out. Slowly. Just like how she would tell Jihyo when she was nervous. 

Tzuyu had so many questions still. So many things she wanted to ask. So many things she needed to know. All of that could wait. None of that is as urgent as the woman sobbing on the floor of her living room. Yes, she despised the way their relationship ended. It tormented her till this very day but Tzuyu wasn’t a monster. She was not going to detest a woman who’s been abused. She was not that heartless. Nor was she insensitive. The most urgent thing right now was helping Jihyo calm down. Tzuyu didn’t trust herself to talk. She wouldn’t know what to say.

So she stood up, on her unsteady legs and made her way into her room. Her hands were shaking and as she shuffled her way into her walk-in closet, Tzuyu began moving her stack of neatly folded clothes aside to get to the item meticulously hidden at the very bottom of the pile. A red knitted blanket.

Tzuyu has been hiding this blanket for two years. Never once has she ever tried to use it. The only occasion wherein she absolutely had to touch it was when she moved into this penthouse. It was still as soft as it was before, the red color has not faded all throughout the years and it still smelled faintly of her lavender scent. She daintily held it to her chest as she walked back into her living room. Jihyo still hasn’t stopped crying. Her sobs now reduced to incessant whimpers as she hugged her legs close to her trembling frame. Her eyes still screwed shut, face buried in the little space between her knees and a stream of silent apologies spilled out from her lips. She looked so small. Shaking. Curling into herself. Tzuyu has seen Jihyo in her most vulnerable moments but this was different. This was a sight Tzuyu has never even imagined seeing.

This was Jihyo hitting rock bottom.

Slowly, she lowered herself onto her knees in front of the trembling idol. Her own hands trembling as she unfolded the soft fabric in her hands and draped it across Jihyo’s back. Engulfing her in the soft material before resting her weight fully onto the carpeted floor as she sat in front of the idol once again. The blanket placed around her must have garnered her attention, Jihyo raised her head slowly to regard the blanket draped around her. She sat there just watching her. Jihyo’s breathe still ragged, a couple of tears still escaping her swollen eyes as her whimpers hitched here and there. Tzuyu waited patiently for her to compose herself and she reached over the coffee table and grabbed hold of the tissue box to place it on the floor right in front of the idol who was wide eyed looking at the blanket.

_Fate really wasn’t so kind to her. As she sat there, alone in the small old coffee shop she frequented, Tzuyu couldn’t help but sigh to herself. Here she was oceans away from her family, unable to run back into their familiar arms whenever she felt distressed or just simply wanting to rest from the day’s gruelling toll. Here she sat at the far end of the small café leaning against its glass wall as she watched people pass by. It was Autumn. Arguably her favorite season. The air was crisp and cool as leaves turned into an orange almost red hue. South Korea during Fall was definitely a sight to see. Even so, Tzuyu just wanted to pack her bags and go back home._

_It was Mid-Autumn Festival. Or more popularly known as Moon Cake festival._

_It was one of the major holidays back in her hometown. A holiday that even early poets wrote about as they expressed their homesickness. Tzuyu could relate to those poems now as she felt her heart longing to go home to her motherland. She remembered what her mother told her when she was younger, how Mid-Autumn Festival was an old tradition that used to also be the occasion when their ancestors took time to worship the moon. It was passed on from generation to generation but sadly the tradition was now slowly fading. It was said that the moon reminded them of family. Thus, during this holiday, it was common for there to have traffic jams in her country due to the influx of people hustling to go back home just to be with their respective families. Yet here she was stuck all alone in South Korea._

_Her eyes were heavy, her shoulders sagged making her tall frame slump against the papers spread out onto the table. It was September which meant her semester was far from being over. There was no use trying to pretend to study, so Tzuyu gathered all her materials and trudged her way back to her apartment. Leaves made a satisfying cracking sound under her heels as she trudged her way back home. Her hands buried deep within the pockets of her jean jacket as her eyes were downcast watching her steps on the concrete floor littered with fallen leaves. Any other day, Tzuyu would whip out her phone and take photos to commemorate her favourite season but today was not one of those days. It reminded her that she was an outsider in this foreign country. Alone. Someone who did not share the same culture as them. Someone who couldn’t even speak their language as fluently because her accent would slip up more times than she could count. So she opted to just keep to herself. Observing other people interact around her. It’s her second year in college and admittedly Tzuyu should have been used to not being able to go home during important Chinese holidays._

_Setting her bag right by the door of her apartment, she quickly changed into comfortable clothes before plopping gracelessly onto her bed. It was exhausting. Acting nonchalant in front of her Unnies. Tzuyu knew they were always there for her like they always insisted they were. Ready to engulf her in overwhelming yet reassuring embraces and listen to her qualms but she was never one to share her burdens. It was never a thing that has been engrained into her personality. In the Chou Household, it wasn’t common for Tzuyu and her brother to share their encumbrances to their parents. For her, she felt as if sharing her burdens would hassle everyone around her. It didn’t sit well with Tzuyu. She didn’t want to be a bother. Didn’t want to worry anyone with her trivial little problems. So she just kept mum about it. Always dealing with it alone. Always opting to appear unconcerned, stoic and composed. Her Unnies had more pressing matters to attend to anyway. Besides, she chose to leave Taiwan and enroll in a foreign country so Tzuyu was going to get through this all on her own. She could do it. Tzuyu has to. Even if she has to do it alone._

_That was what she wanted, wasn’t it?_

_To prove to her family that even though she grew up with a golden spoon, she could still stand on her own feet without the help of their family name supporting her rise in the corporate ranks. She could make a name for herself on her own. Straying from the path her parents already paved for her even before she was born. Tzuyu wanted to be more than that. More than a pretty little trophy daughter. She wanted to know what it felt like to not have each and every step she took already planned out. She wanted to have control. If it took flying to another country to escape the shackles of that burden then she would gladly take it._

_Turning her head to the right, she could see the sunset. Giving the sky an orange tinge as it was gradually replaced by the full moon. Slowly engulfing the city in tranquil dusk. Begrudgingly, she dragged herself to shower before it gets too late in the night. Even though she was oceans away from home, she could always appreciate the moon from the view of her window. Tzuyu wasn’t completely alone, she had Minjoong with her anyway._

_It was tradition. To worship the moon and its beauty during the festival. Back in Taiwan, her mother would buy mooncakes for them to share. It was symbolic, they said. There were records that alleged that back in the historic eras when the Chinese were still plotting to overthrow the Mongols, they would use mooncakes to hide secret messages about their revolt. Tales were told and stories were passed down from generation to generation retelling the legend of how their ancestors hid secret messages through them. It was said that mooncakes formed parts of a puzzle. Like a jigsaw. Each mooncake would be embossed with a certain Chinese character or part of it and to read the whole message, their ancestors would have to assemble the parts of the mooncakes for it to be revealed. Once read, they would have to immediately consume the mooncakes in order for the message to remain a secret. Only for them to share. Only for them to know._

_It was rather clever, if you asked Tzuyu._

_So she sat by her desk only relying on the warm glow her table lamp provided her to illuminate her room as she stared longingly at the bright moon above. It always calmed her. Looking at the moon. Relishing in the serene glow it emanated even from a great distance. Maybe it was in her culture for her to adore the moon but it always enchanted her how it glowed brightly yet not as blinding as the sun. As she stared at the moon, relishing in its serene stillness, Tzuyu wondered what her family was doing now. Were they together on their porch? Did her mother decide to make the mooncakes by hand this year? Did they exchange gifts yet? Did her brother come home?_

_Did it bother them to not have Tzuyu there?_

_Ever since the day started, none of her family members greeted her well-wishes for the festival. She could understand why her Unnies wouldn’t greet her, knowing they probably had no clue about the holiday. But her family knew. It was a tradition for them to gather as a family. Even though she was apprehensive when being together with her parents, she still longed for them to someday act like a normal family even for once. She loved her parents, as any child would, but she detested how much pressure they put on her to always be perfect. To always ‘bring pride to the Chou name’ as they put it. They were her parents and of course that familial bond would always tug at her heartstrings even though they treated her as a shiny trophy for their elite friends to drool after. Tzuyu sighed to herself once again. Slumping back into her desk chair as she checked her phone for the time. 8:00PM._

_She wasn’t hungry. Not even a little bit. Opting to skip dinner for the evening, she stayed slumped back against her seat gazing out of her window. Letting the moon capture her attention once again. It was silent as the night went on. The streets slowly quieting down as the number of people below started dwindling down._

_It wasn’t until a very distinct grunt followed by a booming shriek was heard outside her door did Tzuyu bother to move from her seat. Tzuyu knew that voice anywhere so she immediately made her way to her door and opened it revealing a struggling Jihyo who looked like a deer caught in headlights. The older girl gave her a sheepish smile while balancing what seemed like a medium sized brown box in her right hand, an overnight bag on her left, and her school bag on her back._

_“H-hi?”_

_Tzuyu stood there baffled as to why Jihyo was currently in front of her apartment door with so many things in hand. Not that she minded. Her relationship with Jihyo has been going well recently. It was not a topic they have discussed yet but Tzuyu knew that what they had was something special. Only for them to share. Only for them to understand. Their relationship definitely was something she cherished dearly._

_Jihyo would wait for her every morning before Tzuyu’s first class just so they could get their morning coffee together. Bumping shoulders as they made their way to campus. The older girl would always bring Tzuyu to their favorite little café after school so they could study together, isolated at the back of the café seated at their table next to the glass wall. When she had difficulty in understanding a word or phrase in Korean, Jihyo would always be there patiently explaining to her what it meant._

_For her part, Tzuyu would always insist on walking Jihyo home after their study sessions. Both taking slow steady steps as they let the cold night breeze touch their warm cheeks, fingers grazing shyly both still cautious about the level of affection they could venture on and as they stood in front of Jihyo’s shared apartment door trying to delay the moment they had to eventually part, Tzuyu would always relish in the way Jihyo’s eyes regarded her with so much adoration. With each passing day as they went on with their daily routines, Tzuyu knew Jihyo felt the same way._

_“Chewy? Can I come in?”_

_That pulled her out of her thoughts and she took Jihyo’s heavy bag and the box in her hands before ushering the older girl inside. Tzuyu placed the box on her desk and the bag on the floor beside it before turning around and watching Jihyo trudge to her light switch to turn it on as she blinked from the sudden bright light._

_“Did Jeongyeon Unnie kick you out?”_

_Her voice was raspy and low due to the fact that she hasn’t been speaking almost all day. It was just recently when Jeongyeon and Jihyo decided to move into one apartment. Both thinking that it was practical for them to split rent and bills together to save money. Knowing her Jeongyeon Unnie’s rather loud personality and Jihyo’s own speaker-like volume, Tzuyu assumed the older girls would sooner or later need time away from home to just have a moment of silence to themselves. Jihyo just chuckled as she shook her head, walking over to stand beside Tzuyu as she enthusiastically tapped the brown box on her desk._

_“Happy Mooncake Festival!”_

_Taken aback, she stood there captivated by Jihyo’s mega-watt smile. The older woman’s back facing her window that had a clear view of the full moon. She didn’t know how Jihyo knew today was a special holiday back in Taiwan. But before she could respond, Jihyo was already opening up the box and the smell of pastry wafted into her small apartment. She knew that smell. Mooncakes._

_“I hope you like them. Jeongyeon helped me search for a recipe online but we’re not sure if this is what your family uses.”_

_Even with the pleasant smell of mooncakes invading her nose, Tzuyu’s eyes never left Jihyo’s now worried orbs anxiously staring back at her. She’s known Jihyo well enough to know her small little mannerisms. Biting her bottom lip as her unoccupied hand fiddled with the hem of her sweater was a tell-tale sign that Jihyo was anxious. Without thinking of the repercussions, Tzuyu held her breath as she leaned forward and wrapped Jihyo’s small frame in her arms. Tzuyu’s nose buried itself into the older girl’s hair as she felt Jihyo’s hands place themselves on her forearms. Running them up and down her skin delicately._

_“I know it must be hard for you to be away from home during this holiday. So I decided to bake you something to remind you of Taiwan. Will you taste it for me, Chewy-yah?”_

_Tzuyu could only nod as she placed a shy kiss of gratitude on Jihyo’s little mole at the side of her temple before pulling back and peering into the box of pastries._

_There were 6 mooncakes in total. All embossed with different Korean letters. Just like how history described how her ancestors hid secret messages. How did Jihyo know? A familiar warmth emanated from her chest as her heart raced at the thought of Jihyo baking and preparing all of this. It took her a while to figure it out. To rearrange the letters in her head. Brows furrowed in concentration as she struggled to grasp and use her knowledge in Hangul. Tzuyu was dumbfounded once again that evening as she finished rearranging the mooncakes properly to form a sensible phrase._

_항상_ _너와_ _함께_

_(Always be with you)_

_Tzuyu knew there was more to the words than just a platonic implication. Her mind screamed for her to do something. To take control because she knew deep down that this was Jihyo’s way of placing the ball in Tzuyu’s court. Jihyo. The ever so considerate Jihyo. Tzuyu had this inkling that Jihyo always went with whatever speed Tzuyu was comfortable with. Content just to let Tzuyu skirt around their growing bond and wait till the younger girl was ready to acknowledge what they had going on. Never doing anything Tzuyu wasn’t comfortable with. Never initiating something too intimate for the Taiwanese girl._

_“Even during the days when you feel alone. Please remember that I will always be with you. From here on out. And even then. I promise you won’t have to be alone anymore.”_

_Tearing her eyes away from the mooncakes, her gaze fell on the girl standing in front of her. Eyes wide brimming with sincerity. Her long brown hair cascading off her shoulders. Her fingers still fiddling with the hem of her sweater. Park Jihyo enchanted her. Entranced her in a way the moon never did. Tzuyu couldn’t help but liken her to the moon still. Jihyo’s wide eyes shining brightly but not as domineering as the sun. Urging Tzuyu to keep gazing into her round orbs as she found comfort in the gentle calmness it gave her. Just like the moon, Jihyo made her feel tranquil. Slowing the rapidly turning wheels inside her mind. There was no use in denying. No use in shying away from that blatant fact._

_Tzuyu adored the moon by tradition but she adored Jihyo by heart._

_“Jihyo Unnie, promise to always stay with me?”_

_Just like the moon, Jihyo’s eyes twinkled gracefully. Her face flushed at Tzuyu’s meek yet significant question. They both knew what this question meant. This was Tzuyu’s way of asking Jihyo to stay with her. From here on out. Tzuyu always knew she was different from how other people express their thoughts. She said things differently. Articulated things in a different way. Not everyone understood her. Not everyone picked up on what she wanted to say. But Jihyo did. Jihyo always did._

_“Even when we’re far away, I’ll always be with you.”_

_It came out of Jihyo’s mouth softly. Even barely a whisper. But in the stillness of the night, Tzuyu heard her. In the pure adoration and conviction from Jihyo’s voice, Tzuyu knew she got her answer. Unlike the moon, Tzuyu was going to adore Jihyo from up close from here on out. And even then._

_“There’s one more thing I wanted to give you.” Tzuyu cocked her head to the side but stayed silent nonetheless. Jihyo really had this all planned out, didn’t she? “I read that the Mooncake Festival was a gift giving occasion and it’s almost winter soon.”_

_“So” Jihyo trailed off as she made her way to the overnight bag sitting on the floor beside Tzuyu’s bed. “It took me a while to finish it but I got it done just in time.” The older girl pulled out what seemed to be a red knitted bundle neatly folded to fit the bag. Making her way back to Tzuyu, Jihyo reverted back into looking shyly at the red material in her hands before holding it between them, offering it to Tzuyu sheepishly._

_“Happy Mooncake Festival, Chewy-yah.”_

_Tzuyu delicately took the soft knitted bundle from Jihyo’s outstretched hands and unfurled it in between them revealing a rather wide and long blanket. It was soft to the touch and she could tell it was knitted seamlessly. She wasn’t a knitter. It just wasn’t a hobby of her taste but she appreciated the craft because her Mina Unnie and Jihyo Unnie always hung out just to knit scarves and mug warmers for the others. She knew that knitting took time and blankets took rather long to make. It took about a month and a half or two before the finish product was done. Tzuyu knew that for a fact because she watched her Mina Unnie knit a blanket for herself. Just how long did Jihyo prepare for this holiday? The older girl never failed to leave Tzuyu flabbergasted._

_“I-I know you always prefer to stay indoors during winter. Dahyunnie told me so. That’s why I decided to make you a blanket to keep you warm. I’ve made my siblings some blankets but they’re always small ones so this is the first time I’ve made one for an adult.”_

_Jihyo started rambling nervously in front of her but Tzuyu could only stare at the girl in pure adoration. Her gaze leaving the blanket and settling on Jihyo’s nervous features. Her chest felt warm and her heart pounded so loudly, Tzuyu wondered if Jihyo could hear it. Never did it occur to her that someone could value her culture like Jihyo did. Value it enough to spend months trying to make her a gift for this occasion. To give her something that wasn’t just store bought but was actually handmade for her._

_“I don’t know if you prefer it to be red but I just wanted you to have something that reminded you of me. To comfort you when I couldn’t physically be there.”_

_Jihyo started speaking slower. Noticing how Tzuyu’s eyes bore into hers as the taller girl slowly closed the distance between them taking slow tentative steps towards Jihyo. Eyes never leaving the other. Tzuyu heard Jihyo take a deep steady breath before slowly whispering out._

_“I did promise to always be with you and even when we’re apart I hope this blanket can always remind you that I am and always will be with you. From here on out. And even then. So you can take it with you when you go home to Tai-”_

_The gentle press of Tzuyu’s lips on hers made Jihyo stop mid-sentence. Air rushing out of her lungs at the sudden boldness of the normally shy Taiwanese. Her train of thought now completely wiped off and was replaced solely by Tzuyu. It wasn’t a kiss driven by blatant lust. Not fuelled by the desire for something more. It was sweet. Timid. Gentle. It was so effortlessly sincere. A kind of transparent sincerity that was so Tzuyu._

_She didn’t know how long their lips were pressed against each other but Tzuyu eventually pulled back. Not enough to separate them. Only enough so that she could press their foreheads together. The tips of their noses brushing as their lips were merely a breath away. Basking in the stillness of the night as the moon shined outside her window. Jihyo, Tzuyu thought, was the moon personified. Jihyo was Tzuyu’s moon. Gentle yet influential. Radiant despite the vast darkness as her light shined for the world to see. Enchanting for the mortal eyes to gaze upon. Tzuyu was hopelessly devoted to her moon and this was the first night of many nights that she would show Jihyo just how much she adored her. So as delicately as she can, Tzuyu whispered out her devotion to Jihyo, her moon._

_“I will always be with you too. From here on out. And even then.”_

Tzuyu watched Jihyo’s hands curl around the red knitted blanket draped around her. The idol’s whimpers died down into small sniffles as she pressed the fabric against her tear stained cheeks. Tzuyu could only watch her. Abhorred at the sight. Sinking in anguish as she stared at the broken idol in front of her. Tzuyu’s broken Moon. The Moon that lost its serene gentle glow. A lacklustre flicker replacing its light as the painful wave of memory hit its thoughts. Just like how she regarded the Moon, Tzuyu couldn’t do anything but helplessly watch.

“Y-you kept it. You didn’t throw it away?” Tearful eyes raised to lock onto her own. Tzuyu didn’t speak. But she nodded solemnly in response.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have done something.” She couldn’t prolong the agony anymore. This was long overdue. Two years too long. She needed to know. Was it because she was ashamed? Was she threatened to stay quiet? Did Jihyo think Tzuyu couldn’t do anything to help? Why? 

“I was scared. I didn’t want to see you get disgusted of me. I didn’t want to confirm that what he said was true. That you would leave me once you knew.”

Tzuyu looked at Jihyo carefully. Jihyo was like the Moon in so many ways than one. She was considered as a star but shined brighter than all the others. It was magnificent in size and when you look at the dark night sky your eyes would always make its way to the Moon. Because it was different. Because it stood out. Jihyo definitely stood out. Tzuyu couldn’t help but think to herself, did the Moon feel alone all this time? Even though she was surrounded with so many stars, did Jihyo feel like they wouldn’t stay with her just because she was different? Not in a sense of fame. Or riches. But because the burden that’s been troubling her was far more different than theirs?

“Did you forget what you told me when you gave me that blanket?”

She caught Jihyo’s broken eyes with her own as she muttered out her question. Tzuyu knew that Jihyo recognized what she was talking about when the idol’s eyes softened even more. Of course she would. A thick veil of caution wrapped around the both of them. Bringing up the past after two years would do that. Tzuyu remained still as she let Jihyo’s eyes bore into her own. Waiting for the idol to utter out the words she wanted to hear. Not for Tzuyu’s sake. But for Jihyo’s.

And when Jihyo finally did, it was in a soft barely audible whisper. Cautious and gentle. It was as if Jihyo feared to speak louder than that in fear of Tzuyu disappearing. Jihyo’s red tear swollen eyes brimmed with sincerity, eyes never leaving Tzuyu’s.

“I will always be with you.” It was like a pledge, how Jihyo said it with so much reverence. Tzuyu almost forgot why she made Jihyo say it. Almost forgot why she even brought out the blanket in the first place. Her mind lost its line of thought as she got lost in Jihyo’s gentle gaze.

“From here on out.” It was like her mouth knew what to say next maybe from all the times she’s said it in the past. Her lips moved on its own accord. Knowing exactly what to say next as she murmured it out reverently back to the idol.

“And even then.” A vow of devotion passed Jihyo’s lips. Tzuyu knew it. Yet she chose to ignore it. Chose to focus on the topic at hand and conceal all the other things she felt hammering in her chest aside for now. Their eyes still locked in a fervent gaze. Tzuyu didn’t bother breaking it. Wanting Jihyo to understand her next words. So she took her time in talking. Slowly letting the words move past her lips.

“I say this, not just for me but for the other Unnies as well. No matter what the world throws at you. We will always be with you, Park Jihyo. From here on now. And even then.”

It was true. Jihyo needed to understand that she was not less of a person because of the incident she went through. She was not someone of lesser value just because a man treated her that way. Tzuyu wanted her to understand that. It was important. The idol needed to know that she was not alone. She never was.

Because the moon will always be surrounded by her stars. Even when heavy clouds make it seem like she was alone in the night sky. The Moon will always have her stars just like how Jihyo will always have them. Tzuyu knew she will always be with Jihyo. She will always be with her moon. From here on now. And even then.

And just like how she regarded the moon above, Tzuyu will keep her distance for now.

...

“No need to be scared. He was wrong. I’m not disgusted of you. I’m disgusted of him.” 

Jihyo felt herself tremble. Not in fear. Not anymore. But in relief. The pain she has held for two years seemed to be lifted off of her as she stared into Tzuyu’s sympathetic and sincere eyes.

Ever since then, back when they were still young in college. Jihyo always likened Tzuyu to the Earth. Complex yet intricate. Delicate yet powerful. To Jihyo, Tzuyu was her Earth. Just like the Moon, Jihyo would always revolve around Tzuyu. 

Jihyo wrapped the blanket around her tighter, relishing in the faint lavender scent it emanated as she held it close to her face. Tears of relief and adoration flowing down her crimson skin.

They sat there. On Tzuyu’s expensive carpet floor. A small distance between them as they sat across each other. Both letting the silence of the night engulf them once again as they let the evening draw out. Only the gentle sniffles of Jihyo’s quiet whimpers of relief interrupting the quiet here and there. Both just letting each other’s presence heal their bleeding wounds as they waited for the sun to rise. Fleeting glances of reassurance and solitude. Saying they were here. They were still here.

The Moon will always be with the Earth. Just like how Jihyo will always be with Tzuyu. From here on now. And even then.

Healing from a distance as they waited for the inevitable overlapping to arrive. When the moon can finally be closely in line to the earth. Hopefully, when the time comes when both of them have healed. When Tzuyu was ready, the Earth will once again align with the Moon as the Earth blocks the Sun’s harsh rays for her once again. A Lunar Eclipse.


	30. CHAPTER XXX

A/N: I'd just like to thank you all for waiting respectfully. It has been a hard couple of months for me mentally and emotionally so please do understand why i have not been able to update as swiftly as before. Work and personal life has been troubling. Rest assured, this will not be one of those dead stories. I will update. Just not as swiftly as before. I sincerely thank all of you who still support the story!

* * *

There are times when words aren't necessary. When the stillness gives more comfort than the noise would ever be able to provide. This was one of those moments.

  
  


They didn't know what time it was. The night went on like that. Silent. Still. Letting their previous conversation sink in slowly. There was too much information to process. Too many emotions to reel back in. Tzuyu was not a fan of emotions. Not at all. Emotions make her lose control and Chou Tzuyu loved being in control.

  
  


But as she sat here on her carpeted floor, control was not something on the forefront of her mind.

It was Jihyo. It was the sight of Jihyo's fiddling fingers that clenched and unclenched around the red blanket draped over her shoulders. It was Jihyo's red tear swollen eyes that would once in a while take fleeting glances towards Tzuyu's direction. It was Jihyo's familiar vanilla scent that drifted gently in the air mixing with Tzuyu's natural lavender scent. It was Jihyo.

"What's on your mind?"

Turning her gaze back to Jihyo's nervous eyes, Tzuyu paused for a moment.

"Who else knows?"

A small shake of Jihyo's head made Tzuyu furrow her brows. That simply couldn't be. Jihyo must have told someone, right?

"Jeong might have had suspicions but I never confirmed anything. I think Momo knows. I never told her anything but you know how Momo is. She never lets me walk home alone back then. When she had time or wasn't too tired from work, she'd drop by the bar. I never really thanked her properly for it."

A solemn smile made its way onto the idol's forlorn face as Tzuyu's chest constricted in pain once again. How could someone carry such a heavy burden for that long?

"She was always so concerned even though she didn't exactly know what she was concerned about. I always tell her I was just tired. Tell her that she can go home. Momo never did. She'd wait for me. Walk me home. She was always so protective of me. There isn't a day that passes by where I don't thank her silently for it."

Tzuyu's eyes broke away from Jihyo's solemn ones as an uncomfortable pang hit her chest. It bothered her how other people had more inkling about the issue than she did. It wasn't because she didn't want anyone helping Jihyo. Of course not. It was because Tzuyu didn't have a single clue back then. It seemed like everybody else had a bad feeling about it aside from her. Tzuyu was Jihyo's lover back then, wasn't she? So why was she so oblivious? Why didn't she notice that something was terribly wrong with her own girlfriend?

Was it a mistake to have ran away so suddenly? Disappearing from their lives before anyone could give her any type of explanation? Should she have stayed?

Tzuyu always told herself that she was the sole victim in the whole situation. Because morally, that was a fact. Jihyo cheated on her. Period.

That was all she needed to know back then. That was all the explanation she needed to see. Nothing else mattered after seeing Daniel's lips press against Jihyo's. Nothing anyone could have said would stop her from flying out of the country the following morning. Because morally, Tzuyu was at the right. She was hurt. She was the victim.

No one in that situation would care to think whether or not Jihyo was actually a victim herself, would they?

Because the eyes already saw what it needed for the mind to figure things out on its own.

_To create explanations for questions that were not given proper answers_.

"You know, before we ended, one of the reasons why we always argued was because I hated how you were so occupied in pointing out my flaws. My mistakes. Pointing out that I didn't focus on you anymore."

But what about what it didn't see? Would the situation change? If Tzuyu considers the things her eyes failed to notice two years ago, what effect would that have?

"Meanwhile, I was so adamant in disregarding yours. Ignoring everything you've been doing. Going home so late. Forcing me to drop by the bar even though I told you multiple times that I was too tired. Everything you did wrong, I ignored. Everyone said I was a masochist."

Tzuyu lifted her gaze and saw how Jihyo was looking at her just as painfully. She saw how Jihyo's wide broken eyes brimmed with unshed tears once again threatening to fall at any moment. Jihyo looked so fragile. So broken. Yet Tzuyu couldn't do anything about it now.

She never talked about the past. Never wanted to discuss it. Not even with her Mina Unnie. Tzuyu never wanted to touch that subject. It made her too vulnerable. It would tear down the high walls she's spent a year to build. But looking into Jihyo's puffy red eyes, Tzuyu knew she wasn't the only one who was broken.

Tzuyu's demons were vile. Tormenting her mind each waking moment. But Jihyo's demons were real. Jihyo's demon walked among them till this very day. Tormenting the idol in every aspect of her being. More than Tzuyu would ever understand.

To Tzuyu, it seemed like Daniel was the Sun. Bright. Idolized. Faultless.

Destroying everything in his wake. Destroying her Moon as he beamed unabashedly bright. Blinding the Earth with false facts using the magnitude of its disorienting light and in the process he casted a dark shadow over the Moon.

No one would think that the Sun could do any wrong. Because it seemed like he was made for the Moon, wasn’t he? Tzuyu thinks otherwise now.

"I think that maybe I should have been more focused on you. Maybe I should have pointed out your mistakes too. Maybe it was wrong for me to ignore everything I thought you did wrong."

Her voice was not domineering. It wasn't said in her usual authoritative tone. She knew Jihyo wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to hearing Tzuyu talk so softly. So solemnly. Nor was she used to Tzuyu acknowledging their history together. Dropping her professionalism and finally acknowledging that Jihyo was more than her brand ambassador. Tzuyu felt her heart aching. She felt how her mind started forcing her to stop remembering. That's been her routine for so long but it was time to stop. So Tzuyu continued on speaking. Letting her thoughts move past her lips.

"Because if I paid more attention maybe I would have noticed that something was wrong sooner. Two years sooner."

The Moon making its way between the Sun and the Earth could be interpreted in different ways.

To the Earth, it looked as if the Sun became one with the Moon.

To the Moon, it was her way of shielding the Earth from the harsh rays of the Sun. Letting his light cast a shadow over her instead, dimming her own light in the process.

A Solar Eclipse.

**...**

Nobody really understood what it's like to be abused.

In the type of society they live in today it was not talked about. It was not a conversation people are open to have. Thus, the abused tend to hide rather than speak their truth. Burying themselves into the darkness that further dulls their light. Because no one would understand. Let alone try to fathom the sheer pain they have been enduring.

They didn't understand that people who get hurt over and over again begin to know nothing else but pain. They begin to welcome that torment and let the agony fill every crevice of their being. Because slowly, as the abuse goes on. That was what their body and soul are conditioned to feel. Till the pain becomes normal. Till torment becomes something they have been accustomed to.

When you know nothing but pain, it’s hard to know anything else.

What were you wearing? Why did you go alone? Why did you let him? Maybe you provoked him? Isn't it the other way around? You needed him so that you can be an idol, right? Maybe you wanted it?

The list goes on and on. The voices in her head became louder and louder. Until Jihyo believed them more and more. She's seen it on the news. She's heard it through stories. She's read it in the newspaper. How the abused tend to be shoved aside because society would point their fingers at them rather than recognize what they've been through. So, she decided to keep quiet.

Shame. Guilt. Fear. That was all she ever knew. Because in her mind and with what everybody has been saying, she deserved it right? Jihyo was the cheater.

Because who would bother to defend a struggling artist trying to desperately reach her dreams compared to the CEO of the same Entertainment Company that helped her reach that goal?

Yes, the Moon is a star that shined brighter than the stars surrounding her. She was in the spotlight. Each and every single move she made was criticized. That was something that gave her more reasons to be petrified. Because not everyone would understand. Not everyone would believe her.

The media loved her because she was unblemished. Her friends loved her because she remained strong.

To them, she was God Jihyo.

She was the Full Moon.

Eclipsing all the stars surrounding her. Shining brighter than the rest because the Full Moon was always captivating when it was whole.

It was not something people realize but the Moon would only be praised when it was in its fullest phase.

But what about when it moves into different phases? What happens then?

"I didn't want you to notice."

Her voice was still as soft as earlier. Far more raspier now after crying for so long. Cutting the silence of the penthouse and filling it with another wave of agonizing torment. But Jihyo managed to mumble it out weakly. Her eyes trained onto Tzuyu's features that slowly hardened. Casting a shadow of anger on the younger woman's sharp edges. The CEO's eyes now darkened considerably once more. The vulnerability now replaced with sudden rage and Jihyo pulled the red blanket around her frame tighter at the sight.

"Because you were scared, right? Because you thought I’d leave you if I found out, like Daniel told you I would. How Daniel conditioned you to believe."

She couldn't do anything else but nod weakly as Tzuyu tried to visibly reign back her anger. Gritting her teeth as she asked Jihyo for confirmation. Jaw tightening whenever Tzuyu uttered Daniel's name with vile disgust. The air of dominance made its way back around the younger woman.

A sudden call broke their gaze. Tzuyu's phone blared in her pocket and she pulled it out. Answering it with the same authoritative tone.

"Stay there. I'll help."

Jihyo watched as Tzuyu placed her phone on top of the coffee table and stood up towering over her small frame.

"Mina Unnie needs help driving everyone home. Apparently, everyone got drunk except her."

She forgot about their friends just a few floors below them. Too occupied with the heavy conversation they were having. Jihyo wondered what time it was. How long Tzuyu spent giving Jihyo a chance to tell her side of the story. She moved her gaze down towards the soft red blanket that kept her warm throughout the evening. Should she leave it here?

A hand was offered to her. Tearing her gaze away from the blanket, Jihyo stared at it in shock. The idol looked up and was met with Tzuyu's now soft delicate features. An air of strength radiated from the younger woman. Not in an authoritative stance. In no way domineering. It was a protectiveness she has not seen from the woman in such a long time. One where Jihyo felt safe. Protected. Tzuyu's eyes held a certain type of strength that was not conveyed in a sense of professionalism but in a sense of protection.

Jihyo held onto Tzuyu's strong gaze as her hand shakily placed itself on top of the younger woman's palm. Noticing how her skin was slightly rougher now after two years has passed. Still as delicate as before but with a stronger grip as Jihyo felt Tzuyu wrap her hand around hers firmly. It was reassuring.

Both of them knew they went still but neither one said a thing. Instead, she felt Tzuyu squeeze her hand softly. Like saying she was here. She will always be here. From here on out. And even then.

Tzuyu pulled her to stand up gently but firm enough not to let her fall back down. To some, maybe it would be seen as something trivial. Something of no value whatsoever. But to them it was significant. It was the first time Jihyo has had permission to slide her hand back into Tzuyu's grip.

This time Jihyo knew she'd never let go. A little voice inside her whispered, maybe Tzuyu wouldn't as well.

That's what they did. Holding that piece of comfort all the way out of the penthouse and into the elevator as they went a few floors down. For the first time, Jihyo didn't even look at where she was going. Didn't bother watching her steps. As she felt the firm grip on her hand, Jihyo let herself be led safely because she knew that this time Tzuyu was leading her.

Just like how the Moon revolves around the Earth faithfully following its orbit. Wherever Tzuyu goes, Jihyo will follow.

**...**

Driving so late at night was not an issue. She has done it so many times and in different levels of consciousness. Whether it be sober, tipsy or drunk. Chou Tzuyu has full control over her senses. But with a drunken Sana and Nayeon slurring out and singing one of Jihyo's songs in the backseat as their arms kept trying to grab onto her, it became a hard task to accomplish. Tzuyu will forever be thankful to whoever invented backseat seatbelts.

If it weren't for Jihyo who was sat in the passenger seat, Tzuyu might've just called her Mina Unnie for back up.

Once in a while, she would steal a quick glance beside her. Wanting to know how the idol was doing. Wanting to figure out what was running through her mind. It was quarter to 4am in the morning. They both did not realize how much time they spent laying out all their cards in front of the other. Admittedly, Tzuyu has learned a lot in those hours than the year she has spent isolating herself in Taiwan.

The agony she felt whenever she looked at Jihyo was still there. But not for the same reasons. Now her heart aches for different whys and wherefores.

It ached in agony for the broken woman beside her. It ached in the sheer amount of anger it held for the man who broke her and got away with it for two years. Mostly, it ached in guilt for the relationship she failed to protect and for the woman she failed to defend.

Parking in front of her Unnies' apartment complex, Tzuyu unbuckled herself and slipped out of the vehicle. She saw Jihyo do the same as they walked to the right side of the vehicle.

Pulling out Nayeon was easier. Not because she was the eldest but because Nayeon was smaller. Less limb length to worry about.

Never in her life did Tzuyu think she'd actually use the seatbelts in the backseat but it was handy as it kept Sana buckled safely into her seat while Jihyo helped her pull Nayeon out.

She could hear another vehicle park beside them no doubt it was Mina. Since the Japanese woman had to drop Momo and Jeongyeon here first before driving Dahyun back home to her apartment as well.

After successfully bribing Nayeon out who was now currently clinging onto Tzuyu's left arm. Tzuyu just held the back door open as she watched Jihyo pull out Sana.

It was not an easy feat but somehow they safely maneuvered the two older women towards Momo and Jeongyeon who were a little more sober compared to the others. She learned this earlier on, back when they were still in college that her Unnies tend to be a little more affectionate when intoxicated so Tzuyu let them envelop her in a hug before staggering their way inside their apartment complex.

All of them except Momo who just gave her a small thank you as she bowed farewell and turned around to walk away.

"Momo."

Tzuyu could see Momo visibly make a stop before turning back to her. Shocked that Tzuyu even uttered her name out let alone acknowledge her. Still, Tzuyu kept her face neutral. Her stance still held an air of power as she held onto Momo's wide eyes.

"Thank you."

Tzuyu watched as shock plastered itself onto the Japanese woman's face. Even though her words were minimal, it held so much weight.

It was a thank you for everything Momo has done. A thank you for doing the things Tzuyu has failed to do. Keeping an eye on Jihyo when she failed to do so. Protecting Jihyo during the times when Tzuyu was busy protecting herself. Standing by her when Tzuyu was busy isolating herself. A thank you for so many things Momo has done without Tzuyu's knowledge.

By the way Momo's eyes softened and her shoulders dropped, Tzuyu knew she understood.

Tzuyu knew she had to talk to her as well but now was not the time. So she gave Momo a small nod gesturing for her to go inside. With a teary smile, Momo turned her back and walked away.

She didn’t notice she's been standing there for a while until her Mina Unnie stood in front of her. A curious expression plastered onto her Unnie's delicate features. Soft comforting hands cupped Tzuyu's cheeks and the CEO let out a sigh of relief as she let the weight on her shoulders loosen. Her whole body has been tense the entire evening. How couldn’t it be?

She held onto Mina's gentle loving gaze. Letting the Japanese woman comfort her once again as the cool night breeze caressed her heated face. Threading its way through her hair. With Mina, she could let all her walls down. With her Mina Unnie, Tzuyu knew she was safe. So she just watched as the Japanese woman gently pulled her face down so that she could place soft affectionate little kisses on Tzuyu's forehead.

Tzuyu knows that Mina has been sober the whole evening. She noticed Tzuyu and Jihyo's disappearance.

"Unnie, I did it."

Her arms wrapped themselves around her Unnie's waist delicately as Tzuyu pressed her body closer. Eager to draw comfort from the older woman. She could feel her Mina Unnie's soft lips still pressed gently onto the skin of her forehead. She could feel how it paused there for a moment before slowly moving as she felt her Unnie smile against her skin.

"Unnie is proud of you, Chewy-yah"

For the first time that evening, Tzuyu smiled in relief. The warm hands left her cheeks letting the cold wind hit her face once again as her Unnie pulled back enough to look into her tired eyes.

"Now I think you should drive her back to her dorm hmm? I still need to drive Dahyun home too."

She nodded obediently at the woman as Mina stole a quick glance behind Tzuyu. Technically it was already early Monday morning and they had to be in the office in a couple of hours. With everything that has transpired this evening, Tzuyu needed to recuperate.

So she let her Mina Unnie bid her goodbye for now but not before placing a gentle kiss onto her Unnie's temple and whispering her a soft 'I love you' before turning to the idol who was standing timidly beside Tzuyu's parked vehicle.

Tzuyu made her way to the driver's seat. Waiting till Jihyo slipped inside and finished buckling herself in before driving off into the night.

People say nothing good happens after 2am but this evening was testament to why that was not true. All she knows is since a couple of hours ago, everything has completely changed. The horrid knowledge that Jihyo was abused was not part of the good. Not at all. It was the fact that everything has been laid down in front of them. No secrecy. No more hiding.

The drive towards JYPE was tranquil. As tranquil as it could possibly be. A blanket of relief enveloped them the whole ride there. As she parked in front of the large building, Tzuyu turned to her right. Her eyes zeroing onto the red blanket that was still draped around Jihyo's shoulders. Wrapping around the idol's small shivering torso.

"Thank you. For everything. For listening. For understanding."

The blinding rage she felt crept up at the back of her neck once again as she heard how vulnerable Jihyo's voice trembled. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her hands around Daniel's neck and choke all the air out his filthy lungs for what he did. For now, Tzuyu pushed that rage aside and moved her gaze so that she could look into Jihyo's thankful eyes.

"Thank you for being honest." Tzuyu said with all the gratefulness she could muster. She could only imagine how hard it was to relive those memories again. Jihyo was brave to do that.

Silence. It surrounded them like a thick veil. Both not knowing what else to say. Not knowing what else to do or where they go to from here. It was not something both of them were prepared for. It was not something Tzuyu knew how to control.

“Keep it.”

Dropping her gaze towards the red blanket wrapped around the idol. It was the only comfort she could offer. The only thing she knew would bring the idol a sense of safety. By the way Jihyo’s hand instinctively clutched tighter around the red knitted fabric, Tzuyu knew she understood.

“Are you sure?”

The CEO nodded. Shoulders sagging as she leant further back onto the driver’s seat.

“Keep it and remember. Remember what you told me all those years ago.”

Her own voice was hoarse but Tzuyu paid it no mind. Not bothering to appear domineering anymore. She couldn’t find it in herself to lift her gaze once more. Couldn’t find it in herself to see how Jihyo’s eyes were filled with so much torment. With so much grief. When silent whimpers of agony filled her ears once again that evening, Tzuyu felt her hands shake once more. Felt how her chest constricted impossibly tight as she heard her broken Moon try and choke back her sobs.

They stayed there. Until Tzuyu had the courage to gaze at the idol. Until Jihyo’s silent sobs of agony turned into small whimpers. They didn’t know how long. It didn’t quite matter. They sat there in silence. Trying to desperately mend their emotions. Trying to compose themselves with all that has happened and all that will come afterwards.

While gazing into Jihyo’s tear swollen eyes Tzuyu knew one thing was certain. Even when the Moon isn’t in its full phase, Chou Tzuyu adored her by heart.

**…**

She felt bare. Not the uncomfortable kind. It wasn’t the kind she felt with Daniel. Exposed against her will.

It was a kind where she felt reassured. A sense of reprieve washed over her as she lay herself bare for Tzuyu to see. To see what truly occurred. To see her defects. To see her shattered pieces. To see her crumble.

They sat there in silence. Gazing into each other’s eyes waiting to see what the other does next. Waiting to hear what they say. To observe how they respond. It was comforting to her. The silence. It always was with Tzuyu but when she noticed the time on the car screen, Jihyo knew she had to go. Regretfully so.

“I don’t want to waste your whole evening. I just want to thank you again for everything and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you. For the pain I caused everyone.”

She saw Tzuyu open her mouth to protest but the idol cut her off gently as she put on a timid smile of gratefulness. Ragged breaths causing her to stutter as she mumbled out her words.

“My-my comeback is in a couple of days. If you and the others aren’t busy I hope you can drop by and watch even for a little while.”

Jihyo watched as Tzuyu gave her a curt nod. So she opened her purse and pulled out 3 tickets to the award show she was performing at and handed it timidly to the younger woman who in turn placed it on her dashboard.

“Please drive home safely, Daepyo-nim.”

It hurt. Even how many times she’s said it. It still hurt calling Tzuyu with a title so foreign. Foreign in a sense that it seemed like they were complete and utter strangers. With no history whatsoever. It was like they were strangers. Not even friends. But Jihyo knew her boundaries. She knew where she stood. So with one last grateful bow she turned and opened the passenger door. Stepping out into the cold night as she gripped onto the car door for support as her knees wobbled slightly.

“Jihyo-ssi”

Hearing her name being called so softly made her turn around. Bending down slightly to gaze at the CEO who was now looking at her with tired reassuring eyes.

“We’re not at work. You don’t need to call me that.”

For the nth time that evening her heart hammered against her chest. Eyes wide in shock once more. Only this time, it was for a different reason. Relief.

A sincere smile made its way to her face. Features softening greatly as she felt tears of relief threatening to fall from her orbs once again. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Not trusting herself to keep her tears at bay once she opens her mouth so Jihyo bit her lip trying to desperately hold back a sob. Gazing into Tzuyu’s comforting eyes as the CEO remained composed in her seat.

“Remember to breathe Jihyo. Like how I told you before. Just breathe.”

**…**

The sun was starting to rise. Ready to greet the city with it’s blinding light once again as Tzuyu drive her way home. Her mind running a million miles per hour. Her grip tightening around her steering wheel once again as the image of Kang Daniel flashed through her thoughts as she glanced at the award show tickets on her dashboard.

Orbits are a funny thing. A path that the celestial bodies cannot escape. A path they must follow to complete their rotation and maybe it was time for Tzuyu to follow hers.

Maybe it was time for the Earth to place itself between the Sun and the Moon.


End file.
